Broken Wings (Contemporary Romance)

by D. G. Torrens

  BROKEN WINGS

  (Only the dead have seen the end to war ~ Plato)

  D.G. Torrens

  Copyright © 2013 by D.G. Torrens

  Edition

  License Notes: This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Amazon.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the author.

  Cover design by Ares Jun

  Formatting by Jo Harrison

  Titles by D.G. Torrens

  Autobiographies and Memoirs:

  Amelia's Story

  Amelia's Destiny

  Poetry:

  Heart and Mind

  Romance:

  Broken Wings

  Acknowledgements:

  I would like to thank my family for their unwavering support. I can't thank you all enough. I love you.

  Thank you to Ares Jun my book cover designer, for producing a truly incredible image which conveys my story beautifully. You truly are talented.

  To Jo Harrison for formatting my book and always doing such a wonderful job.

  To Marlene at Firstediting.com for doing such a great job on my manuscript.

  Thank you to all my indie author friends who have been so supportive, you know who you are!

  A big thank you to all my readers for their continued support.

  My final acknowledgement goes out to all our soldiers past and present, for their bravery and inner strength. I have the utmost respect for you all.

  In war there are no un-wounded soldiers ~ Jose Narosky

  Prologue

  Two people who have both suffered tragic losses in their young life; both of them avoiding love for completely different reasons. Joshua, a soldier in the British Army, a bomb disposal expert and the very best at what he does. Angelina, an editor for a local newspaper and writer in her spare time. Both of them focused on their careers.

  Brought together unexpectedly, they fall unconditionally and irrevocably in love with one another. All is perfect in their lives until Joshua is unexpectedly posted to Afghanistan for six months. Angelina's worst fears are finally realized. Joshua has to go, it's his duty as a soldier, but the pull in his heart is strong and he leaves her behind with a heavy heart.

  Angelina is devastated and prays for his safe return. Until one day, a few weeks into Joshua's deployment, there is a knock on her door that changes her life forever.

  Chapter One

  They stood naked in the shimmering cool water; the warm March night was calm and still, unusual for the time of year. The moon shone beams of light onto the vast lake, shadowing the curves of their naked bodies. Neither said a word as they looked deep into each other’s sad eyes, their united silence saying so much. Angelina did not want to let him go, fearing she would never see him again.

  Joshua smiled. “I will come back to you, I promise.”

  Angelina placed her head on his chest, tears falling down her reddened cheeks. “I could not bear it if I never saw you again, please don't go,” she pleaded with all her heart.

  “I have no choice. You knew when we met that this would be a possibility, Angelina. I will be back before you know it. This is my duty as a soldier, I have to go, this is what I do.”

  She felt her heart closing in, the tightness was suffocating her. All those young men who never made it home alive… She did not want her Joshua to be one of them; however, she also understood that he needed to go along with the rest of his regiment. This knowledge did not make it any easier to bear. She had a bad feeling about this posting in a way she didn’t have with the other one. She just could not shake it off. Joshua had informed Angelina that he was being posted to Afghanistan for a second tour. He had an urge to share his inner fears with her but he held off, knowing this would make his leaving far harder for Angelina to deal with.

  This was their last night together and they had decided to spend it down by the lake, their very special place. This was where they had spent their first official date together. That first date had sealed their rare and irrevocable feelings for one another; feelings that could not be denied. They had never looked back. When they were together, it was as if the rest of the world didn't exist and time stood still, just for them. Joshua fought his undeniable feelings with all that he had, not wanting to get involved with anyone, knowing he was being posted soon. But the draw was too strong and the fight was over before it began. He was mesmerized by her. Angelina was deep and sensitive, the suffer-in-silence type. He liked that about her. She was unlike anyone he had ever known, she understood him in a way no one else ever had before.

  Angelina wanted to hold Joshua, never let him go and keep him safe from harm. She held him so tight as if her own life depended on it. “I love you so much, Joshua, please come back to me.” She was crying uncontrollably now, her head buried deep in his chest.

  He took off his ring that had been passed down to him by his grandfather many years before and placed it on her finger. “I promise you when I return, I will make you my wife.” With that, Joshua kissed her gently on the lips. He hated leaving her; he knew this was as hard for her as it was for him.

  “Joshua, when you’re gone, time stands still until you return to me. I can’t move forward or backward. I can’t sleep because of worrying about you. There are so many soldiers returning back home in boxes. Every time I turn on the TV, there is a news item about a young soldier not making it back alive, the families left behind tormented by their grief.”

  “Last week, there were two soldiers from the West Midlands who were killed by a roadside bomb in Afghanistan headlining the news. What if that happens to you, Joshua? I know the loss you suffered on your first tour of Afghanistan; that could so easily have been you. You are my very reason for existing so you better come back to me. Do you hear me?”

  Joshua looked into Angelina’s beautiful almond eyes. He wrapped his large arms around her and held Angelina tight. “I love you with all my heart. I promise I will return to you and then I will be back for good. I will not be extending, I promise you, and it’s only six months. It will fly by. I promise I will write to you all the time.” Angelina could not stem the flood of tears falling down her cheeks, she could hardly breathe from the fear that this could be the last time she ever saw him alive. Joshua ran his finger slowly over the small scar etched into her right eyebrow. He held her face in the palms of his large hands and kissed it, brushing the tears from her sodden cheeks. He felt her pain. He was feeling it too. No words could take their pain away; it was something they had to endure together until his return.

  They lay on the bank together side by side with nothing but the glistening stars and the glow from the moon as cover. Their silence was a comfortable one, one that could only be shared by two souls that truly understood each other completely. Angelina turned her head towards Joshua and looked at him intently, taking in every inch of him, searching his face as if discovering him for the first time. Her heart was beating so hard she feared it would burst. Joshua sensed her anxiety and pulled her to him, “Angelina, we have to go now. I wish I could stay here like this with you but I have just five hours before I have to report in.”

  He was hurting now, feeling the pull of his heart; he had to be strong for Angelina, and he did not want to mak
e his departure any harder for her than it was already. “Joshua, I want you to write me whenever you can. I want to know how you’re feeling out there, what you are going through, I want to know everything, I need to feel close to you as if I am right there with you. Please promise me you will do that for me?”

  Joshua held her face in the palm of his hands, his eyes were glistening and this did not go unnoticed by Angelina, “I promise, darling.” He pulled her to him tightly, holding her as if for the last time. They stood up, his hand entwined in hers as they made their way back to his car.

  Thoughts of Joshua’s last tour in Afghanistan ran amok through his tormented mind. He had something more to fear this time, not making it back to his Angelina. He knew this was a distinct possibility as one in six soldiers were either killed or wounded in action. Bomb disposal experts were in higher demand than ever in Afghanistan, with over one thousand new bombs planted every day. Afghanistan had become an IED war. The large number of bombs was seriously disrupting NATO operations in the country.

  He now knew how all the other soldiers felt when they had to leave their loved ones behind for such a long time. This was the very thing he had avoided for years for this very reason. “You okay, Josh?”

  “Just thinking, sweetheart. I am fine, don’t worry about me, okay? I just need to know you will be strong for me.” Joshua threw her a pleading look, one that needed no answer. This was going to be the longest time they had spent apart. His first tour of Afghanistan had taken place way before he had met Angelina; he had been deployed there for six months. This time was going to be so different; he had found his soul mate, the very person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He now had someone to miss, to ache for and this worried him. Being touched by Angelina’s love had changed his perception completely. He knew only a few people experienced this kind of rare love, the passion, the whisper of a thrill, the calling in your heart that takes a hold of you and won’t let you go. The angst that true soul mates suffer once they are apart. He was totally consumed by her and could not bear the thought of being away from her for so long.

  During Joshua’s last tour in Afghanistan, he had lost his best friend just two weeks before they were due to return home to England on leave. They had come under enemy attack from insurgents. Four British soldiers were killed after their armoured vehicle was caught in an explosion. Jason was killed instantly and Joshua had never really recovered from the death of his childhood friend. He had watched it all unfold before his eyes like a bad dream. Two further attempts to clear and repair the route had claimed three more casualties. The deep ditch had provided insurgents with the perfect cover to creep along the side of the road and plant the explosives on it. Joshua was in another armoured vehicle a few hundred feet behind. He knew it could just have easily been him and this had been his awakening.

  He was devastated and on his return, he visited Jason’s grieving wife. That was one of the hardest things he had ever had to do. She was inconsolable, barely able to breathe for crying. Her heart was so clearly broken and vulnerably displayed before him. He had no words to offer her, he knew a part of her had died with Jason; it was in her sad, lifeless eyes. He had kept up his visits to Chloe for many months following the tragic death of his best friend, to comfort and console her until she moved away to the south of England. For a while afterwards, Joshua had been plagued and tormented by nightmares that would have him sitting up all alone in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. He was plagued by the haunting voice of his lifelong friend, calling out for help. Of course, this was a bad dream, a twisted nightmare that would not let go and one that gripped him like a vice to this very day. He knew there was nothing he could have done; none of them could have known what was going to happen on that fateful day.

  Jason’s memorial service was over-flowing with civilians lining the roads in his home town as a mark of respect. This had become a common sight in towns all across Britain during the ten year war against Afghanistan. Many of the local high street shops had closed for the duration of the memorial service out of respect. This had been Joshua’s seventh memorial service for fallen brothers in the last two years. This had completely changed his outlook on life and he had sworn to himself that he would not get involved with anyone romantically until his term in the British Army was completed.

  However, he had not figured on Angelina. He had seen too many devastated lovers, wives, mothers and fathers. He hated death, funerals, and more than anything, he hated what the war was doing to the innocents and those that got left behind. The carnage and devastation that war left behind, and for what? This was a question he was asking himself more often these days. Joshua was already a nine-year veteran of the Army at the age of twenty seven; and he had seen far too much of death that his yearning to see more of life was becoming stronger by the day.

  He had made up his mind that he would not re-enlist in the army. He had served his country well and now it was his time to live. This was his last posting, and he knew it was going to be his hardest one. Six long months without Angelina was more painful than anything he’d ever had to endure.

  Joshua pulled up outside Angelina’s house; he turned off the ignition and climbed out of the car. Angelina was already making her way up the path as she turned to him. “I have something I want you to take with you tomorrow. You have to promise me you will not open it until you arrive at your destination.” Angelina unlocked the door to her small cottage and turned the lights on as she entered the dark hallway.

  “I cannot stay, Angelina; I have not got much time left so please come here.” Joshua held out his arms as she slowly walked towards him; he pulled her close and held her tight. He pressed his lips to hers with all that he had and held onto the moment, and then Angelina buried her head in his chest, sobbing.

  “I’m sorry; you know how much I hate our goodbyes.” She reached for an envelope from the mantelpiece and handed it to him. “Remember, do not open it.” Smiling, he kissed her once more and then headed out the door.

  Chapter Two (six months earlier)

  Angelina Ferria woke up with a start, after a troubled night sleep filled with recurring nightmares that plagued her far too often. Her finger touched her eyebrow as she recalled her dream. It was the same dream that haunted her sleeping hours, a dream that would never leave her; it was like a ghost living in the shadows of her life. The image of a lifeless body next to her, blood pouring, the persistent rain that echoed throughout. Calling out for help before slipping into an unconscious state. Always the same dream.

  Angelina made herself a strong cup of coffee and sat, with her knees bent up to her chest, perched on the window seat overlooking her quaint garden which was filled with winter roses and evergreens. She spotted a robin pecking away at the bag of nuts dangling down from the cherry blossom tree which she had placed there the day before, totally oblivious he was being watched. How she envied the robin with his simplistic and uncomplicated life and the freedom in which he flew from branch to branch. If only life could be like that, if only.

  Lake Windermere felt like home to Angelina in a way nowhere else ever had before. She would drive the seven miles often and take regular runs along the vast beautiful lake during the summer; on Sunday mornings, she would swim alone before the rest of the world began to rise and the many tourists swamped the lake with their boats, as they do every summer. Running was her saviour, it allowed her to think and de-stress. Her move to the marketing town of Kendal had been a wise one as she had finally felt at peace and was able to let go of her past.

  She kept herself to herself and had just a handful of friends that she trusted with her life, specifically Lucy who she loved dearly. Lucy had gone above and beyond the call of friendship during her difficult time three years before and sometimes she wondered what she would have done without her. Always there, just a phone call away whenever she needed her. Angelina was not close to her parents at all; any connection she once had was long since severed. This saddened her a great deal, but what
could she do? They weren’t willing to make the effort and she had given up on them just as they had given up on her way before she'd left home at the tender age of eighteen. There was only so much effort you could put into a relationship and if it was not reciprocated then it would inevitably fail. Both parties had to be wanting. Her mother was addicted to antidepressants and could not function without them, popping Fluoextine capsules daily and occasionally one or two more than was subscribed. This would catapult her into an almost zombie-like state.

  She wondered what it would have been like to have loving parents, like Lucy’s. Parents that doted on you and would always put you first. Angelina thought back to those hard years growing up; her mother and father always fighting, never agreeing on anything, least of all her. She would never forget the day her father walked out on them when she was only nine years old. This had been a very traumatic time in her life. Her thoughts drifted to her devastated mother, an image of her desperate face flashing through her mind. Things had never been the same again. Her father was not interested in visiting rights of any kind, being far too eager to start his new life with potential wife number two.

  Her mother had slipped into a dark place filled with depression. Barely noticing Angelina from one day to the next, leaving her to fend for herself most days. Her home life had become a place she dreamed of escaping one day; her mother seemed to almost blame her for her own demise as the years passed by and the tension between them became even more unbearable as she grew older. When Angelina was old enough to leave home, she did not hesitate for one single moment. Her mother made no effort to encourage her to stay and said goodbye with very little emotion. The image of her mother walking back through her front door before Angelina had even made it through the garden gate remained with her for a very long time.