Tricky Wisdom: Year I

by Camryn Eyde

  Charli put a hand on Taylor’s arm. “It’s okay.”

  “You sure?” Taylor asked.

  Charli nodded. “You must be Darcy?” she said to me. “It’s lovely to finally meet the woman my girlfriend won’t shut up about.”

  I gaped a little. What was that supposed to mean? Taylor talked about me a lot? I looked at her to find her blushing. “Umm…hi,” I said to Charli. Despite knowing what this woman’s hair and eye color were, I didn’t know much beyond the fact she was managing Taylor’s store. Charli was gorgeous. With deep bronze skin, her eyes were like chocolate and she was very curvy. Very. I could see why Taylor was attracted to her. I didn’t stand a chance. “I, uh…better go clean up.” With a tight smile, I pushed between the couple and gave Olivia a glance on my way out of the kitchen. She was frowning at me. Probably deciding my manners were appalling, I’d guess.

  Clean, grease-free and clothed in something that wasn’t a decade old, I made my way back downstairs. Charli and Taylor were curled up on the couch together watching the pre-game show and looking very cozy. Charli’s arm was around Taylor’s shoulders, and after spotting me walking in, Taylor cuddled against her further. I had to look away. Seeing her nuzzling against someone that could have been me was heartbreaking.

  A hand slipped around my waist and I yelped a little.

  “Boo,” Olivia said, chuckling silently to herself at my reaction.

  A glance told me Taylor had looked our way, and wanting to capitalize on the opportunity and see if my inkling was correct, I leaned up and kissed Olivia on the cheek as I wrapped my arm around her. “Hi,” I whispered, trying to sound sultry and alluring. I missed the mark spectacularly and Olivia raised an eyebrow at me in amusement.

  “Hi,” she said, purring into my ear and showing me exactly how it was done. I shivered and leaned into her. Remembering suddenly that I started this to see what Taylor would do, I looked back to the sofa. She wasn’t looking at me, but she’d pulled away from Charli and looked stiff.

  I had no idea what that meant. Was she jealous? Had Charli annoyed her? Did she have cramps?

  “Dinner will be ready in twenty, everyone,” Mom called from the kitchen. I barely listened as I tried to plan my next move.

  Tugging at Olivia’s waist, I took her to the relative privacy of the upstairs landing.

  “I want you to kiss me,” I whispered to her questioning glare at being led around like a dog.

  Her eyebrows shot up. “Kiss you?”

  I nodded. “I can’t quite tell if Taylor is interested.”

  “Trust me, she is.”

  My eyes lit up. “Really?”

  “She was interrogating me when we came back inside, and then practically wrapped herself all over her girlfriend a little too enthusiastically.”

  I bit my lip in thought. “I don’t know if that means she wants me, though. She could just be doing the best friend interrogation thing.”

  Olivia shrugged.

  “Maybe…” I said, rubbing my chin in thought. “Maybe, if she saw us kissing, then I’ll try to get her alone and see what she thinks of it.”

  Olivia sighed. “I don’t recall agreeing to any sort of affectionate touching, let alone kissing.”

  “Hey, you’re the one that held my hand first, and you kissed me on the cheek. I never asked you to do that.”

  “I was trying to sell the relationship for you. You should be thanking me.”

  “What do you want from me for you to kiss me?”

  “I want you to sleep on the floor tonight.”

  That was going to be horrible. “Okay,” I said, nodding in quick agreement. “Let’s practice,” I said, leaning up to kiss her.

  “Wait. Now?”

  “She can’t very well see our first kiss. It’s going to be awkward. Let’s get it out of the way.”

  Huffing, Olivia said, “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”

  Smiling, I leaned in and did what I’d witnessed in the movies. I tilted my head, stuck out my tongue and opened and shut my mouth. Olivia pulled away with a yelp.

  “What the heck was that?”

  “A kiss.”

  Olivia burst out laughing. “That was more like a dying fish gasping for air than a kiss.”

  I stepped back and crossed my arms to pout at her. “Yeah, well, maybe we’re just not compatible. It’s hardly a surprise.”

  Olivia settled into chuckling and shook her head. “No one would be compatible with that.” Cocking her head, she studied me for a moment. “Have you ever kissed anyone before? Apart from my neck?”

  I sniffed and looked down the stairs. “No.”

  “And you’re how old?”

  “Twenty-three.”

  “How is it you’ve never kissed anyone?”

  “I’m gay, remember. With a crush on my straight best friend. I didn’t want to kiss anyone but her, no matter how many spin-the-bottle games Taylor tried to make me play with the guys from school.”

  Olivia raised her hands in surrender. “Hey, I didn’t mean to judge.”

  “You always mean to judge.”

  Olivia huffed. “Not this time.”

  “Yeah, well, it hardly matters anyway. I’ll strike the kissing thing off. Maybe we can snuggle or something instead.”

  “Or maybe, I can teach you how to kiss.”

  I eyed her warily.

  “Consider it a public service. If you ever do get together with Taylor, trust me, you’re going to want to know what to do.”

  I unhooked my arms from my chest and rolled my shoulders. “Okay.”

  “Good.” Olivia stepped over to me, involuntarily forcing me to step backward against the wall. She smirked and stepped flush against me. “Give me your hand.” I held one up, and she placed it on her cheek, resting my thumb against her lips. They were seriously soft.

  I licked my own.

  “Now…kissing is soft and gentle. At least to start with. Usually. Sometimes it’s rough and needy.”

  “That’s confusing.”

  She smiled. “It depends on the situation. For Taylor, you’ll need to go slow and tender. Like this.” My thumb that had been resting against her lips as she spoke became the center of attention. Opening her lips slightly, she placed gentle kisses against the pad.

  I swallowed thickly. As much as I hated to admit it, this was kind of turning me on.

  She opened her eyes and looked into mine. “Understand?”

  I nodded.

  “When you’re ready, you tentatively explore with your tongue.” She kissed my thumb again, this time, however, she let her tongue slide out and skim across my thumb.

  God damn!

  “Have you got it?” she asked, ceasing her kisses and opening her eyes again.

  I nodded and licked my lips again.

  “Show me.”

  Swallowing hard, I took a deep breath and leaned forward, closing the six-inch gap between us. I did like she showed me and carefully took her bottom lip between mine in a soft kiss. I repeated the action, moving my lips in time with hers. Ready to try the tongue thing, I let it slide out on my next kiss and embarrassed myself with an involuntary moan. She didn’t seem to mind, because the next thing I knew, I was being pushed against the wall as she began to stroke my mouth with her tongue. My graduation from soft and tender to rough and needy escalated as I followed her lead and my instincts and set myself free in my first ever kiss.

  It wasn’t until we heard a gasp that we broke apart. Discovering I’d grasped Olivia’s backside with one hand while tangling the other in her dark locks, I quickly let go, expecting Olivia to fly off me in offense. She didn’t move. Leaving her hands where they were, she tilted her head slightly and we both saw Taylor at the top of the stairs staring at us intently.

  “It wasn’t me!” I blurted out. God, why did I say that? Blushing from head to toe, I blamed the surge of lust that had traveled my body forcing random neurons to fire in my brain.

  Taylor, predictably, looked at me oddly.


  Clearing my throat, I said, “Never mind.”

  “Oh…okay. Umm, sorry for interrupting. Carry on.” She ran back downstairs.

  Only when she was out of sight, that Olivia let go of my neck and waist. Wait, was her hand under my top? Clearing her throat, she said, “I think it’s safe to say that worked.”

  I nodded. “That’s…” I cleared my husky throat. “That’s good. Umm…thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Straightening out our clothes, we awkwardly started to descend the stairs. “So, umm…” I said before we reached the bottom. “Did I pass?” I asked, referring to my kissing lesson.

  Olivia stopped and looked at me. “I believe you did.”

  “Great.”

  Olivia gave me a tight-lipped smile and headed for the dining room. I watched her go and was pretty sure I had fallen a little in lust with her. Damn she could kiss.

  Chapter Five

  Lunch was a conglomeration of noise, over-consumption of food, and football updates. Charli, I soon discovered, was kind of nice. The fact she had tea and grease on her shirt took the edge off my jealousy at any rate. Taylor and I chatted as we always do, but from time to time, I found her staring at me. I smiled at her each time and we continued eating or conversing.

  Dessert was being served, Taylor’s mother’s famous pumpkin pie, and that was when Olivia rested her hand on my upper thigh, making me jerk and bump the table.

  “Pass the cream, please,” she whispered into my ear.

  “O-okay.” I did as requested and she gave my thigh a squeeze. Looking over at Taylor, I saw her scowling as she stabbed at her pie. Olivia was a genius. Dropping my hand below the table, I rested it over Olivia’s and squeezed. Our fingers intertwined, and that’s how we remained for the rest of the meal and post-dinner beverages.

  “You guys really do make sweet couples,” my mother said as dinner wound up, looking to Olivia and I and then Taylor and Charli.

  Taylor smiled and wrapped her arm around Charli’s. “Thank you.”

  I smiled at Mom.

  “How did you two meet?” Charli asked me and Olivia. I gave her a look of surprise.

  “Taylor didn’t tell you?”

  Charli shrugged. “All I know is that you’re living in Boston doing med school and living with a nightmare.” She looked at Taylor. “What was it you call her? Dr. Crazy?”

  I felt Olivia’s hand clench mine. Her fierce grip was crushing the bones in my hand. I tried not to scream in pain.

  At least Taylor looked contrite when she whispered to Charli, “Ah, honey that was Olivia.”

  “Olivia is the nightmare roommate?”

  I bowed my head and stifled a groan.

  “Yes, I am,” Olivia spoke up and relaxed her grip. “Darcy has the manners and behavior of a teenager on summer break. Domestication has been difficult for her.”

  “Hey!” I said, looking up to Olivia. Her eyes were twinkling. She was having fun. I glared and she smiled.

  “Am I right, sweetheart?” she asked me.

  “I guess,” I said with a mumble.

  “She taught her how to cook. Anyone that can achieve that feat with my daughter is a keeper in my book,” Mom said proudly.

  “I taught her how to do her makeup,” Taylor said softly from the other side of the table.

  “She cleans as well,” Olivia said directly at Taylor, obviously hearing her muttered words.

  “That’s it! You’re staying,” Mom said on a laugh. “Imagine that, two doctors in the family.”

  “She only wanted to become a doctor because of me,” Taylor said glumly, earning a frown from her girlfriend.

  Mom beamed at her. “Yes, she did, dear. I can’t thank you enough for it. I haven’t seen Darcy so happy.”

  “Happy? All they do is bicker.”

  Mom smiled and nodded merrily. “Exactly.”

  The table was silent for a moment as that was digested along with the dessert.

  “Well, as…lovely as this conversation is, I need to walk off my pie,” I said, choosing the fastest route to escape.

  “Me too,” Taylor said, standing up abruptly. “We need to catch up.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Bring in some more wood when you come back,” Dad said. “The old stuff at the back of the pile please.”

  “Sure,” I said. Releasing Olivia’s hand, I gave her an awkward smile. “Here goes nothing,” I whispered.

  She didn’t answer and instead, looked away from me.

  That was awkward.

  “I’ll be back soon to help clean up,” I called out to Mom on my way out. A few seconds later, I was alone with Taylor. Finally.

  “Down the lake?” she asked, referring to a track that wound around the water.

  “Yeah. Sounds good.”

  Walking silently, we reached the water and began our trek to the northwest.

  “I can’t believe you have a girlfriend,” Taylor said, breaking the silence that had kept us company for ten minutes.

  “I can’t believe you have one.”

  “You never told me you were a lesbian. I had to figure it out. Why?”

  I stopped. “I didn’t know what you’d say. Your friendship was more important.”

  Taylor smiled and took my hands in hers. “It’s because of that I would have understood. I don’t care what you are, you’re my best friend and I love you.”

  I smiled thinly. “I love you.”

  She let out a long breath and stared at me. “Do you?”

  Here it was. Here was the perfect moment. “I do.”

  “In what way?”

  “I…” I sighed and looked down at my hands through the steam coming from my mouth. “I don’t know how to say it.”

  “You should have said something, Darce.”

  “I never knew how. You had Jack, and…well…the other guys. Besides, you were straight. I didn’t want you to think I was coming on to you all the time or anything. It would have been weird.”

  Taylor remained silent for a while. “How did you know?”

  “Know what?”

  “That you were into girls?”

  I shrugged. “I guess I just noticed them more. Guys never did anything for me.”

  “Did you have a crush on anyone?”

  Yeah, you. “Not really.”

  “What about Nancy. She was pretty.”

  She also wasn’t Taylor. “I suppose.”

  We continued walking and Taylor said, “I’m not straight anymore. I’m bi.”

  That confession made me think of Olivia.

  Taylor looked down to our feet and sighed. “When Charli arrived, she reminded me so much of you.”

  “So you decided to fall for her?”

  Taylor bit her lip. “I guess.” She looked back into my eyes. “But she’s not you.”

  I nearly fainted. “Me?”

  “I have a confession. When I found out about Olivia, I was…” She rubbed her neck. “I felt jealous.”

  “You did?”

  Taylor nodded and stepped closer as her hand reached up to caress my cheek. I was suddenly very thankful to Olivia for teaching me how to kiss. Taylor’s lips were just there and if I was bold enough, I could leap across and kiss her. I recalled my lesson. Soft lips, gentle tongue, and then all that heady urgency that had Olivia’s hand snaking up my top. I blinked and quickly straightened up. Olivia was my girlfriend, pretend as she was, but Taylor had a legitimate one. It was one thing to try and find out if Taylor was interested in me, it was another to be the other woman.

  “What is it?” Taylor asked me.

  “Olivia.”

  “Olivia?”

  “Umm, she’ll be expecting me back soon.”

  “Mmm,” Taylor said, sounding a little annoyed. “Is she one of those clingy, controlling types?”

  “Controlling, yes. Clingy, no.”

  Taylor and I headed back toward the house. “She’s not the kind of girl I expected you to fall for, y
ou know?”

  “Oh?” I said, keen to hear more. “And what’s my type?”

  “Someone fun, carefree, relaxed. Someone you have things in common with, like NFL teams.”

  I smiled. “Olivia is a Packers fan.”

  “Figures.”

  I shrugged. “I like it. It gives me something to rile her up about.”

  “Except the Packers beat us last time.”

  I pouted. “Yeah.”

  “My point is, how did she win you over? She’s…” Taylor stopped and faced me. “Not like me.”

  “You?” I said, hearing the gasp in my voice.

  “Yeah. I’m fun. I know all your secrets.”

  “But…Charli?”

  Taylor averted her eyes. “She’s…really great.”

  A knife twisted in my chest. Of course she was great.

  “But, she’s not you either.”

  “What?”

  Taylor rubbed a hand through her blonde up-do. “Ugh.”

  “Taylor, what are you saying?” And why did I sound desperate?

  “I’m saying that I miss you, that’s all. We’ve been inseparable since pre-school and now…” She waved her hand with a sudden heated flourish toward the house. “Now all I hear is Olivia this and Olivia that. You didn’t even tell me you were dating her. That’s something best friends do, Darcy.”

  She was right and I felt suitably chagrined. About to apologize, Taylor said, “She’s no good for you.”

  “What?” I said in a half-whisper.

  “She’s a bully, Darce.”

  “She is not.”

  “Really? Then why did she throw out your food?” she asked, referring to the incident with the pizza.

  “Because she wants me to eat healthier.”

  “And you can’t watch TV.”

  “I don’t have time to do that anyway.”

  Taylor looked flustered and her eyes seem to search for more ammunition. “She’s stuck up, controlling, and she’s all over you.”

  “What?” I swayed back a little taking in this new side of Taylor. Jealous as she clearly was, it didn’t suit her. Something about her behavior made me step in and defend Olivia. Using my finger as my stand-in knightly sword, I pointed it at her. “Olivia is dedicated not controlling or stuck up. She’s focused, and she’s going to be a brilliant doctor.” I let my hand fall back to my side. “I didn’t tell you about her because…” It was a giant lie, I filled in silently. “Because I’ve never done this before.” True. I can say with certainty I’ve never bribed someone into dating me before. “I’ve never had feelings like this before.” Another truth. Olivia made me marginally homicidal with some of her rules. “But I like her. I respect her, and she’s important to me.” I shocked myself to find my nose didn’t feel like growing. I genuinely did feel those things for her. I think the kiss helped somewhat, because damn. I cleared my throat as my mind veered. “I’m sorry.”