Behaving Badly

by Ursula Whistler

  Yvonne patted her and hung the gold and silver dresses in the closet. “Except you’ve got a sister you don’t trust.”

  Jess searched the boxes of shoes for the shiny ones to match the frocks. “That hurt, but what made me really mad was that Teresa would fuss at me if I were a day late making a payment to her. She did that for years.” Her voice rose and echoed off the floor of her apartment.

  “That wasn’t right.”

  “They did put out a lot of money, and I’ve tried to think about it in a positive way.”

  “Like?”

  “That if I weren’t paying them each month, then they would have been stealing more money from the church.”

  Yvonne shook her head. “That’s one way of thinking about it.”

  “Twisted.”

  “I wouldn’t say that.”

  “No, I meant our hair.” She swished the air in front of her. She wanted to be done with the poison of her sister and brother-in-law.

  They’d known each other long enough that Yvonne took the hint. “If you mean those victory curls, then yes. And, hats.”

  “Yep.” Jess left the bedroom at a knock on the door. “Looks like Deidre changed her mind. She probably thinks we’re going to make her wear the ugly dress.”

  “It would serve her right!”

  She opened the door. Drew stood where she thought Deidre would be. The fact that she’d thought about this moment didn’t help her remain calm. In one version, she’d opened her arms and forgiven him instantly, but that fit Jessica Oldham. She wouldn’t be that pushover any longer. Jessica Gold would stand up for herself and shove him away, which is exactly what she did with her words. “Oh, no, you don’t get to show up here. Get. Out.”

  He held out his hands. “You can give me two minutes.”

  She waggled a finger at him. “No means no. You abused my trust. I’m done with you.”

  “Jess.” His voice was ragged, raw. “I can’t forget you that easily, and I don’t think you can forget me, either.”

  He’d got that right. She’d gone to bed thinking of him too many nights. The dressing room flooded her with erotic images each time she changed into her costume. Even that bench made her heart flutter. But, he’d lost the right to be in her life. He’d have to make a huge gesture before she’d give him ground again. “I’m working on the forgetting part.”

  “Please, don’t. I had no idea in the beginning that you were related, and when I did, it was too late. I’d fallen for you.”

  She swallowed. Had she heard him right? “Fallen?”

  His eyes turned downward. “As in…”

  “No. Stop. I won’t hear it.” She knew he would fling out the love word, and no part of her wanted to listen to that. If it were a real feeling, he should have been more open with her and said something to her about the investigation. She forged her heart to hard steel. “Go, Drew. You’d have to give up a lot, show me something more than puppy dog eyes to win me back.”

  “Jess, please.”

  “No.” She slammed the door and refused to let any tears fall. Hard steel. That was her heart now.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Jess glowed as they finished their last song. The sun-drenched crowd clapped and cheered and asked for more. The festival goers loved them. They’d danced in the mud left from the morning rain and sang along with some of the more popular tunes.

  Yvonne nudged her. “Sing, ‘Surrender.’ People love that, and the ending note is perfect for this day. I’m done. That last one did me in. You’ve got the stronger voice, anyway.”

  “Okay. Tell the band.” Jess turned to the crowd and promised them one more song. She thanked the band again as they began the strains of a song unrelated to their new album. But, like Yvonne meant when she suggested this tune, the last note soared, much like her spirit.

  She sang with the microphone off the stand, swishing her hips with the salsa beat. As the end of the song drew near, she slunk to the front of the stage. She moved the microphone away from her mouth so she could belt out the final phrase. As she bowed her head at the music’s end, power surged through her. She felt that she could conquer anything. At this moment, she’d even let Drew near her so she could bowl him over with her inner strength.

  Back stage, the trio hugged the band and each other until their arms were as tired as their voices. No one wanted to leave, but the women had promised to sign albums and do movie promotion. Jess patted the sweat from her face as they walked around the puddles to the next event.

  When she got there, a basket covered in red velvet waited for her. Gilded writing on the card promised, “A Treat for Later.”

  She tapped one of the volunteers on the shoulder. “Who is this from?”

  The man mopped his forehead with a bandana. “I don’t know. One of the security guys delivered it here, and said it was cleared, whatever that means.”

  Yvonne bumped her with a hip. “Are you going to open it?”

  “Not here.” The only person who might send her something like this would be April, and she knew that you didn’t open April’s gifts in front of other people unless you were ready to die of embarrassment.

  “Aw, c’mon, just a peek. I wanna see. It might get me through the rest of this day.”

  Yvonne’s begging worked. Jess lifted up the velvet. Assorted lotions, condoms, two vibrators, and one thing she didn’t recognize jumbled together.

  “Ooo whee! Looks like yo’ man is trying to lure you back into his bed.”

  “We never did it in a bed.” Jess tucked the cover into the basket and took the card from the handle. If she read it before the promotional stuff, she’d have time to think. She had to sit, talk, and interact with the media. The contract with the studio required it. She unfolded the note as they waited in the wings for the audience to file into the tent.

  Yvonne read over her shoulder. “Are you going to do it?”

  She’d made the right choice. Making a decision about this on the fly wouldn’t be a good idea. “As a last hurrah? Maybe.”

  “You don’t think he apologized enough?”

  “It’s not that.” She didn’t know how to explain it to Yvonne, who only knew her as the lead singer in a trio. The ladies saw her as the one in control, but she had lost that when it came to everyone, including Drew. She’d given in to Teresa and Bill, who dictated the types of gigs she accepted and the clothes she wore. They’d demanded her agreement to their terms before they helped her pay off her debts.

  Drew hadn’t asked for control or traded it for something. He seemed willing to let her take the lead, but he’d used her to get what he wanted. That was the biggest reason for her not to return to Drew. Going back to him would mean she forgave him.

  The night he opened her mail, she would have tried being much more in control, more of being the one on top, making him wait as she teased him. She’d bought the outfit to seduce him her way, slowly, by doing a type of Burlesque as he watched. She wouldn’t let him touch until she said he could. She had a grand fantasy of him standing, dressed at the foot of the bed, waiting for her commands as to what he should take off next. Her next fantasy involved him restrained on a bed as she had her way with him. As a former cop, she doubted he’d ever consider it, but she had wanted to try.

  No, she wouldn’t make a decision yet. She’d wait until the day drained her of mental energy. Then, she’d give it a yes or no based on her heart. She set the note and basket under her chair as they sat before the small audience of Jazz Fest attendees. She plastered on a smile and nodded to Deidre and Yvonne. This moment belonged to them. Nothing Drew, Teresa, or Bill could do would take it away. That, more than anything else, filled her with power.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Drew paced the room in the thick, white robe emblazoned with the hotel’s logo. He had everything ready for her. Flowers, big ones, those crazy-colored Gerbera daisies that reminded him of her dresses. A playlist of jazz tunes set on repeat for her. He’d slid in some other sultry songs, too, inc
luding the one she sang the first night he met her. It’s what he intended to do tonight—surrender to her, give her the control.

  First, she had to show up, make that first step, and he had no way of knowing if she would. The desk clerk had orders to call so he’d be ready. He planned to ditch the robe and expose all of him, his symbolic gesture. He’d be laid bare before her, begging if it came to that.

  He rubbed his hands through his hair and down his face. She’d be surprised to feel a smooth face. He’d shaved every possible whisker. She had to come. If he’d broken her soul, she’d destroyed his heart when she slammed the door on him.

  The phone rang. He leaped across the room to answer it. A calm voice intoned, “She should arrive soon. She refused an escort.” Drew thanked him and tossed the robe over a chair. He checked his trump card in the nightstand drawer and sat in the middle of the bed. He breathed deeply to calm the jitters that took up residence in his gut.

  ****

  Jess rested her head against the hotel room door. She sucked in a breath. It did nothing to still the drumbeat of her heart. She set the basket beside the door. Going in would mean forgiveness. He’d been the instrument that ruined her life. She had no family in New Orleans any longer. All she had was three close friends and the band members. Nothing worked like it did. Nothing.

  She turned and walked toward the elevator.

  Except…

  Her sexier songs made the crowd roar with approval. She’d spent years performing without those tunes in her repertoire due to her position at the church. No one at the hotel cared if she sang about how much she wanted to spend all night with a man. Gone were the worries about how she dressed during the day. She’d donated half of her drab wardrobe and embraced the bright, candy colors of what her sister used to call ‘the costumes.’ She controlled her time. She still volunteered, but at an after-school music program. She’d even walked the runway at the local fashion week for her favorite lingerie store. She still saved her pennies, but no longer to repay her wayward family members. By destroying her life, she’d gained another one—a richer one. Bad people were in jail, and she had true freedom of expression. Perhaps she could forgive him.

  Her feet pointed back to the door that led to Drew. She pushed the key card in the lock and when it turned green, she shoved the door open. Her mouth dropped at the opulence of the room. This place had more space than her apartment. Since she didn’t see him in the sitting room with a TV, she followed the music. The voice of Ella Fitzgerald lured her to turn the corner.

  She found Drew, naked, on the bed. Her nerves turned to anger. All he wanted was sex. He’d probably planned how many times he’d take her and the exact words he would say. She didn’t mind being a fuck buddy, but she wanted—no, needed—more from Drew. She needed that muscled chest for comfort as well.

  “I made a mistake in coming. I thought you wanted time to figure this all out.”

  He scrambled off the bed. “I do. Please, stay.” He took a step toward her. “I’m offering myself to you. Use me how you will. Tell me what to do. I’m yours. All yours.”

  She crossed her arms. “You’ll do what I ask?”

  He nodded. “I’ll do what you tell me.”

  “How do I know you won’t take over?”

  He walked to the nightstand and opened the drawer. “I brought you insurance in case you didn’t think I could handle it.”

  She didn’t move. Too many thoughts, including ones of laying her head on his bare chest, played in her head. “What do you want from me?”

  “A chance. A life. And…” He looked at the bed.

  She turned her back on him. Just looking at his naked body had her yearning to touch the scars that made puckers on the left side of his torso. Her fingers itched, and her blood pooled low in her abdomen. But, she’d thought for hours about what she wanted from Drew or any man in her life. She’d sat in the sun and the breeze of Jazz Fest, picking at her crawfish beignets, cradling her mango freeze, and realized that her sister had something right. A man should want the same thing out of life that the woman wants. Drew did, at least when it came to sex and wanting her to perform in sexy clothes.

  She pulled the bobby pins from the hat she wore and set it on the table next to her. “You know, the bellhop and the desk clerk and the guy who opened the door to my taxi think I’m your hooker for the night.”

  “They’re wrong, but let them think it.”

  With deft fingers, she undid the stylized curls that framed her face. She shook her head to get her hair to fall. She still kept her back to him. “I’m prepared to forgive you, but you’ll have to do penance.”

  “Anything for you.”

  Since she couldn’t see his face, she didn’t know if he were worried or excited. Her heart pumped blood at a furious pace through her body. With this request, she’d be pushing her boundaries and possibly his. “What’s the insurance?” She heard him gulp.

  “Cuffs.” The bed squeaked as he sat on it.

  “Let me get them.” She turned and took her time to walk to the bed. “I’m not sure you can handle it.” She leaned over to whisper in his ear, “I’m going to tie you to the bed.”

  “I’ll let you.” He tilted his head to the bedside stand. “In the drawer. The padded cuffs are there. They were the only toy I took out of the basket.”

  She leaned across him, pulled the drawer open, and dangled the padded cuffs from her hand. She licked her lips. “I get to use these on you?”

  “Yep.”

  Every nerve in her body came to attention with his answer. Her nipples puckered beneath the bra of her teddy. Thinking of him at her mercy caused her mouth to water. “Lie back, and put your hands over your head.”

  “Aren’t you going to get undressed first?” He didn’t move.

  “No.” If he wanted her full forgiveness, he had to do this. Otherwise, she’d be the one doing all of the giving. He needed to let her be in charge. She needed that for confidence outside of the stage, and he was in for one hell of a performance. “My rules. You get to be the naked one, and I stay dressed.”

  “Do I get to touch you?”

  She picked up one of his arms and fastened the black leather band around his wrist. “Too many questions from you. I have some of my own, and if you answer them correctly, I’ll let you touch me. Lay back.”

  Drew rolled back on the pillows and stretched his arms above him. She threaded the silver chain behind the twirls of the iron headboard and clipped it onto the cuff. With one knee on the bed, she tightened the other cuff on his free wrist. She tested the bonds with a tug. She brushed her fingers across his lower abdomen as she returned to standing.

  She unzipped her dress and shrugged it from her shoulders and shimmied it over her hips. The red teddy had been an impulse buy, but she loved how it fit her. The top looked like a bra and fastened in the back like one. The shiny fabric covered her front completely with a high cut at the hips. The real surprise came from the back.

  “That’s tame lingerie for you.” From the look on Drew’s face, he expected something racier.

  “Don’t judge a teddy by its front.” She turned inch by inch, giving him a long look at the change from all red fabric to large swaths of her skin interrupted by the string of a thong and a thin bra strap. A deep, throaty moan alerted her that he liked what he saw. Just as slowly as she turned around, she bent at the waist and picked up the basket of toys. She swung it as she sang, her voice a contralto. “A tisket, a tasket, Jessie has a basket. It’s full of toys and sexy things, and Drew gets to enjoy it.”

  He licked his lips. “Are you going to sing to me, too?”

  “Maybe.” She dumped the contents beside him and examined each one before settling on a small red vibrator that fit on her finger. “Mostly I’m just going to tease you without mercy.”

  He lifted his hips. “I like the sound of that.”

  From the fullness of his cock, she knew he did. She sat beside him, her bare hip touching his. Her skin tingled wi
th the contact. His chest was as beautiful as she’d imagined, particularly with his arms stretched above his head. The cords of his muscles rippled as he adjusted his shoulders. She bent at the waist and pulled one of his nipples into her mouth and nipped with her teeth. He sucked in his breath.

  “More of that, please.”

  “Sure.” She licked her way across his chest to the other nipple. She hovered above it. “Tell me. Were you wrong?”

  He sighed. “To suspect you, yes. I knew from being around you and hearing about your life that you couldn’t be involved, but I didn’t trust myself.”

  Since she liked that answer, she nipped at the nipple puckering beneath her. With her other hand, she flicked on the finger vibrator and touched it to his other nipple. His whole back arched. She lifted the vibrator, sat up, and asked, “Why didn’t you trust yourself?”

  “These scars.”

  Before he could finish his explanation, she spread her fingers over his right side, covering the scars with her hand. With the other, she trailed the vibrator down his midline to just above where his cock sprang erect. “These?”

  “Yes,” he gulped out as the vibrator touched the tip of his cock.

  She removed her finger, wanting him to be able to answer her questions. “How did you get them?”

  He lifted his head and looked into her eyes. “They came from my last assignment. I trusted someone who ended up deceiving me. It nearly cost me my life. Once bitten. Twice shy. You were the twice. I’m sorry.”

  She’d forgiven him already, but that knowledge melted away any residual anger. He’d been her twice shy person, too. She’d been right not to trust him, but he was doing his job, not trying to ruin her life like the last creep. She leaned forward, one hand still pressed over his scars, and the other traced vibrating circles around one of his nipples. She touched her lips to his softly at first, but when he opened his mouth, she pressed hers onto his. Mine, her kiss said. With no warning, she pulled away. She wanted to play.