Whispers and the Roars

by K. Webster

  I’m dying to call Kady. We’ve spoken a handful of times over the last twelve years. Sometimes Mom checks in on her for me. Mostly I’ve kept up with her by Facebook messaging Agatha about her. And on occasion when I try and call, I have to talk to him.

  Bones.

  Arrogant. Ballsy. Doesn’t give a damn about rules or logic or reason.

  And my best friend.

  It’s always him I end up speaking to when I call since she won’t answer. If I can hold out until I get back to Morgantown, though, I can find a way to talk to her. It’s been hell all these years with her avoiding my calls and hiding anytime I’m in town to visit. I know she’s not seeing anyone, but she’s still impossible to reach.

  But now that I’m moving back, she can’t hide any longer.

  I’m coming for my girl once and for all.

  Whether she likes it or not.

  And Bones can fuck right off if he thinks he’s going to keep her from me. As soon as that thought enters my mind, guilt threatens to suffocate me. It’s not his fault. At least he answers. The only person keeping me away from Kady is Kady.

  With a sigh, I speed dial her house. I always hope she’ll answer. Just this once.

  “Yo!”

  I cringe at hearing his voice. “Where’s Kady?”

  “Nunya.”

  Gripping the steering wheel, I swallow down my irritation. “What?”

  “Nunya business.” He laughs and I want to throttle him.

  “Come on, man. Just get her for me. I need to ask her something,” I say, my voice tight in my attempt to control myself from getting angry with him. Losing my temper with Bones just gives him the upper hand. I know this from experience. And I won’t let him win.

  “We’ll play Telephone. You tell me and then I’ll tell her. Then,” he says with a chuckle, “I’ll tell you she said to fuck off.” Despite the humor in his voice, I can read between the lines. He’s still pissed over our last encounter. Once again, guilt surges through me.

  The line goes dead and I pull the phone away from my ear. Dammit. When he’s angry with me, he always plays these stupid games. Games I don’t know how to play. Games I could care less to play. But games I nonetheless have to play.

  “I’m done playing Telephone,” I grumble aloud. “Because I’m about to play Knock, Knock…and that’s a game where I always win.”

  I emerge from Mom’s house with a bounce in my step and determination moving me forward. For lunch, she fattened this hardworking boy up with a heaping plate of samgyeopsal and a side of kimchi. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed Mom’s cooking until after my second plateful. If it were up to me, she’d be making my welcome home dinner rather than LeBlanc’s. I can get steak anywhere, but good South Korean home cooking is hard to come by on the east coast.

  The walk to Kady’s is a short one. I remember riding my bike to her house hundreds of times back when life was simpler. Back when we were friends. Back when we were filled with beginnings of more. Back when I thought I’d die if I couldn’t breathe her in every second of every day.

  But life caught up to us.

  Reality became something I had to deal with.

  Luckily for us, I’m a problem solver. Our hurdle was just that. A hurdle. And now I’m ready to swoop her in my arms, apply a salve to her battered heart, and finally make her mine. Every broken piece of her. Mine.

  As I near her house, the first thing I notice is the paint chipping away. The porch seems to be sagging on one side. The grass is overgrown. My heart aches in my chest. A sense of responsibility washes over me, and I want to beat the shit out of myself for letting this happen.

  Not anymore.

  Not ever again.

  When I hear Row Row Row Your Boat being played on the piano, I slow my steps. My intention had been to barge in there, find my girl, grovel at her feet, and fix this shit. But, if she’s working, I can’t do that. At least not yet.

  I wait patiently on the bottom step until a young girl with a long black braid down the middle of her back eventually emerges. She bounds down the steps right past me, locates her bike laying on its side in the driveway, and then takes off. Without hesitating, I rise to my feet and stride up the stairs to the front door. After all this time, I should knock. But with Kady, it’s best to catch her by surprise.

  “Kady?” I call out as I push through the door. The first thing I notice is how damn hot it is and wonder why the air conditioner isn’t on. It’ll be unbearable by summer. The unit is either on the fritz or Suzy is trying one of her money saving techniques. Either way, I’m going to deal with it.

  I’m met with silence. The piano has been abandoned. Kady’s flip-flops have been left under the bench and a cold bottle of water sits on a coaster nearby. I open my mouth to call out to her again when I hear the creak of a floorboard. Lifting my gaze, a smile plays at my lips until I meet the bored gaze of fucking Bones.

  His shoulder is leaned up against the wall and his shirt is gone as usual. It irritates me that he walks around half naked every time I see him. Especially since kids are in and out of this house for lessons all the time.

  “Where’s Kady?”

  He shrugs and saunters over to the sofa, ignoring my question. I grit my teeth when he sits down and shoves his hand into his pocket only to pull out a wooden dugout used to hold his marijuana paraphernalia. He twists the top and slides out a pinch hitter in which he smokes it from. I watch with irritation as he uses his pinky to smash the weed into the end before locating his Zippo. With a flick of the metal lid, he brings the flame to the end of his pinch hitter and takes a deep hit.

  Kady would be furious if she knew he was toking it up in her living room.

  “You should quit that shit, man,” I say with a growl and stride over to the armchair. Once I sit, I lean forward, place my elbows on my knees and meet his bloodshot eyes. “I want to see her. Where the hell is she?”

  He takes another hit before answering me. “She doesn’t want to see you. Obviously. Besides, you fucking broke her goddamned heart when you left. You think she ever wants to see you again?” His words sting and his eyes flicker with regret. I can read Bones just as easily as I can read Kady. We were The Terrible Three back in the day. Now, we’re nothing.

  I run my fingers through my now sweaty hair and I can feel it sticking up in every which direction. I’ll need a shower before dinner tonight. Bones watches my action with a narrowed gaze and his eyes flash with anger. “We both know she pushed me away, Bones. She pushed and pushed and pushed. But guess what? I’m done being pushed. I know what I want. I want her. And I don’t care if I have to drag her out of this hell hole and into my arms to do it.”

  He sneers. “Cue the fucking singing clowns. Let’s all bow down to the great Dr. Anderson. He’s finally decided he wants his girlfriend back.”

  I take a deep, calming breath. “She and I can fix what we have. I just need to see her.”

  “She’s seeing someone else,” he taunts. “Someone better looking. Someone who fucks like a champ. Someone like me.”

  At this I laugh, but it’s a bitter sound. “We both know you’re not seeing her. Your communication skills leave something to be desired.”

  He stiffens at my words. “Fuuuuuuuuuck.”

  I lift an eyebrow. “What?”

  “I told her I’d find someone to fix the damn air conditioner. Hell if I didn’t forget,” he grumbles. “I’d been on my way to see my buddy Davey to buy a half ounce. I was supposed to ask his neighbor if he’d come take a look. But damn if Davey’s sister wasn’t all up on my nuts with her tongue in my ear whispering all the shit she wanted to do to me. I fucking got distracted by her big tits and those pepperoni-sized nipples that taste like heaven.”

  Closing my eyes, I inhale a deep breath and clench my fists. When I finally reopen my eyes, he’s watching me with interest.

  “You got a thing for Davey’s sister too? I’d share her with you, pretty boy. Bitch probably likes double penetration or some s
hit. I can tell that gets your dick hard, Yeo.” He licks his lips suggestively. “Want a hit?”

  He holds out his pinch hitter to me and I shake my head. “I want to take her to dinner tonight. Can you pass on the message?”

  “Yep.” His eyes flicker with dishonesty and I shake my head.

  “Actually, I’ll leave her a note instead.”

  I stand and stride from the room into the kitchen. Agatha keeps the kitchen immaculate. It always smells of bleach and oranges. Beside the phone on the countertop is a pink sticky note pad with a big A at the top. I rip off a page and then find a pink Sharpie.

  Kady,

  I know you’re avoiding me, beautiful, but time’s up. No more running. I promised I’d be back for you and you know I keep my promises to you…in this case, whether you like it or not. I have to attend a celebratory dinner with my family that I’d love for you to come to and then afterward it would just be us. We can talk and catch up. Kiss like we used to. I want to see your sweet smile and pretty eyes. I want to run my fingers through your soft hair. I want to hear about what’s upsetting you and what makes you happy.

  I just want…you.

  I miss you and I love you. Always have, always will.

  Yeo

  Once I’m done, I leave the note on the counter and start out of the kitchen only to slam right into Bones. I’m taller and bulkier than him, so I end up knocking his bony ass to the floor.

  “Fucking brute,” he complains from on his ass on the squeaky clean linoleum.

  Smirking at him, I reach down, holding my palm out to him. He waves me away and climbs to his feet without my help. I try not to inspect the new tattoos on his chest since I last saw him. It’ll only irritate me more.

  His gaze inspects my frame like he’s sizing me up. “You stink.” His lip curls up in disgust. “Fucking kimchi.”

  I laugh and ruffle his sweaty hair. “Says the asshole who smells like a dog. Tell Kady I’ll call a repairman. I’m coming for her later whether you approve or not. And for the love of all that’s holy, take a shower, man.”

  He flips me off, but I don’t miss the smile on his face. As much as I hate to admit it, I missed this house and all the weird people in it. I missed Bones too.

  I’m almost back to Mom’s when a car engine rattles from behind me. As soon as my gaze meets that of Kady’s aunt Suzy, I nearly leap in front of the car to stop it.

  “Suzy!” I shout at her.

  She stops the car and leans her head out of the window. A floral print scarf is wrapped around her head and she’s wearing a godawful pair of ugly, oversized gold sunglasses. “Yeo, sweetheart!”

  I trot after her and climb into the passenger seat. As soon as I’m inside, she yanks me to her in a fierce hug. When she pulls away, her smile is broad. God, it feels good to be back home.

  “Would you look at you, boy? You done turned out to be one handsome fella! Are you seeing anyone? Because I tell you, I’m not too old to take a young lover. I tell you what, I know a few tricks—tricks only old ladies know—and I could really make you happy, sweetie.”

  When I laugh, she cackles. Only Suzy cackles loud enough to wake the dead. Most people cringe when she laughs, but I can’t help laughing with her. “You know I only have eyes for one girl.”

  She pretends to pout as she puts the car into drive. “Fine, but I’m kidnapping you. We’re going to Walmart. Kady left me a list a mile long of stuff we need. I tell you, if Bones doesn’t stop eating us out of house and home, I don’t know what we’re going to do. That boy loves his Cheetos,” she confides. “You know, they don’t let you double up on coupons anymore. Did you know that? About three years ago, those nincompoops grew some brains and realized they were paying us to shop. It was a fun run while it lasted, huh? I still have enough toilet paper in our basement to keep our behinds wiped through the apocalypse if need be. Does Gyeong need any extra? We have loads extra. And you better believe we’ll have the cleanest teeth during the end of days. The Two Dollar Store once paid me forty-seven dollars to take a hundred and sixteen tubes of toothpaste off their hands. Coupons were the bees’ knees back in my day. Now, they’re almost not even worth all the trouble.”

  I flick my gaze down to the bulging wallet full of coupons that sits between us. I’m glad some things never change. Aunt Suzy makes sure Kady eats, and for that I am grateful.

  “How’s Kady doing? Bones plays games with me. Won’t let her talk to me. I thought if I could just see her… That if I could just touch her…” I trail off and turn my hardened gaze out the window.

  Suzy’s warm hand envelops mine and she squeezes it. “Give her some time. You’ve barely just gotten back. You know how she gets. Always worries over the tiniest things. She always loved you but her heart was broken. It’ll take some time to mend it. If I know my girl, she’ll be warming back up to you in no time.”

  I let out a breath of relieved air. “Thank God. I’m not letting her go this time, Suze. I went off and got my education like she insisted. Not just any education, but one that will ensure we have a great future. I’m going to do whatever it takes to get her by my side. Once she’s back where she belongs, I won’t let her leave.”

  She turns up the dial on the radio and Otis Redding’s voice blasts through the speakers. It helps ease away the last of the aches in my chest. This song, Stand by Me, is my sign. We’re going to fix this. And Suzy is going to help me. Hell, I may even have to ask Bones for a little helping hand.

  But I will get Kadence Marshall back.

  “I need a favor, Suzy Q.”

  She blushes and grins. “Anything for you, sweetheart.”

  “Help me pick out a dress.”

  * * *

  Kady

  I towel dry my hair after a much needed shower and then swipe away the steam in the mirror. I’m tired these days. So tired. Oftentimes I wonder if I could just leave. Swallow a bunch of pills and drift off quietly into nothingness.

  It’s always guilt that stops me though.

  I couldn’t do that to Agatha or Aunt Suzy. Even Bones doesn’t deserve that. And my poor cat would be homeless. Where is that damn cat anyway?

  “Whiskers?” I call out as I drop the towel to the floor. Completely naked, I make my way into my bedroom on a hunt for my cat that’s older than dirt. When he passes on, I’m not sure how I’ll cope with the loss.

  Dropping to my knees, I peer under the bed to see if the orange tabby cat is hiding underneath. When I realize he’s not, I groan and stand back up. It’s then I notice what’s on top of the bed.

  “What in the world?” I mutter to myself as I snatch up the black dress. “Aunt Suzy? Did you buy me a dress?”

  She’s doesn’t appear to be nearby. If she were, I’d gripe at her for buying me such a nice garment. It’s certainly not in the budget, not to mention I have nowhere to wear it to.

  I frown when I see a chunky white necklace and a pair of black ballet flats. Both brand new. My heart rattles in my chest with worry over how much she spent this afternoon. I’m still flustered over her extravagant purchases when I see the pink note on the bed.

  Yeo.

  His messy scrawl on the paper scribbles its way all over my heart, marring it with his perfection. A heated blush prickles over my skin—part desire and part embarrassment. We’ve not seen each other in so long and now…now he wants to take me to dinner. My heart is already doing backflips with excitement. But my brain is putting on the brakes and screaming at anyone who’ll listen.

  Twelve years and then what?

  He’s back?

  For good?

  And he thinks we can pick right back up where we left off?

  I storm away from the clothes and head toward my dresser. I’m not going to dinner with him. There’s no way I can see him after all this time. My heart isn’t ready. I’d probably make a fool out of myself. Turn into a blubbering mess and beg him to make love to me. Ew, no.

  I’m about to open my top drawer when I find another note. This o
ne is from Bones, his Zippo with a skull etched on top, holding it flat. His note is written on a paper towel. So Bones.

  Kady Baby,

  The Karate Kid is back and he wants to be your baby daddy. My advice is to stay in your room. Stay far, far away from the quack doctor.

  Or…

  You could go to dinner with him and let him fuck you all the way into next week. If you go that route, take pictures. I need details to whack off to later.

  Either way, be careful. I love you, Kady Baby.

  Bones aka Badass Motherfucker aka Your Secret Boyfriend aka Big Dick

  I let out a laugh and shake my head. Bones keeps me sane. If it weren’t for him, I’d have lost my mind twelve years ago when I watched Mr. Anderson drive away with the love of my life.

  For months I did nothing but cry.

  Nobody visited me. No one dared to.

  Aunt Suzy and Agatha both begged me to eat. Officer Joe even stopped by, wanting me to seek counseling. But it was Bones who made me drag my ass out of that bed. Told me I had a vagina. Vaginas were tough, he’d said. He even quoted Betty White. Where he comes up with this stuff, I’ll never know.

  I find some black panties and a matching bra. Despite my fear of seeing Yeo again, I’m absolutely craving everything that is him. Truth be told, I miss him terribly. By the time I finish dressing and have applied some makeup, my hair has dried into messy waves. I make quick work of braiding it into a loose side braid.

  I’m beginning to panic, my thoughts drifting to Kenneth and how he copes when he panics, when a loud knock on the door resounds downstairs.

  “Someone gonna get that?” I yell out.

  When nobody answers, I huff and then bound down the steps. I reach the front door and take a deep breath. What if it’s Norman? I should get a gun. What if it’s one of Pascale’s friends? Those drug addicted thugs sometimes show up on my lawn at the weirdest times. I definitely should get a gun.

  “Kadence?”

  All worrying thoughts about thugs and child molesters fizzle away as heat floods through me. Just the way he says my name has my heart threatening to pound right through my chest. I press my lips together into a firm line and twist the knob. When I finally see him, my heart ceases to beat.