by Zoe Adams
Indiana did not want Richard’s old car. It would seriously distract her. Limited options and time amounted to unaccountable hurdles yet to be overcome. She circled the car. The salesman tried to reassure her of its value.
They were joined by a laughing and cajoling voice. “Indy, is that you?”
Indiana jumped back. Richard looked like a god as he strode toward her in his white flame retardant suit.
“Hi, Richard.” Her brown eyes started feeding on his masculinity.
“Hi, Indy.” Richard leaned in for a soft greeting on her blushing cheek.
He whispered very softly in her ear, but she wondered when he stepped back if he had said my Indy, or hi, Indy. That was a big gap, but she forgot her question. He kissed her cheek a little too long.
“Wow, it’s nice of you to stop by. I wish I had time to entertain you. Do you want to go to the race with me?”
Indiana nodded dumbly. He led her by the hand toward the door.
“So, how are you?” Richard spoiled her with attention and slowed his steps to accommodate her.
“I’m good.” She blinked up at him. “How are you?”
“I’m doing very well.” Richard’s eyes flickered between her ear and the pale mole on her cheek. He parked his eyes on the double black lines crossing her shoulders.
Indiana gave a big smile to the vibrant man. The few men in the weekend shop watched Richard look excitedly at her.
“Here.” Richard handed over a fat computer chip key. “I want you to drive me.”
Merl interrupted their close conversation. “Uh, Richard? I ain’t never seen a girl drive ya. You know. To a race. Are ya sure that’s such a good idea?”
Richard grinned over his shoulder with a swagger, and made a loud proclamation. “This moment will go down in history as the first time I’ve let a girl drive me. But don’t worry. I know this girl. She has driven me before. I know for certain she won’t be playing games on her phone while she escorts me.”
His light teasing changed into a low growl. “This girl’s different. She was born to drive me crazy.”
The shop workers heckled and laughed at the pair. Indiana grinned and slid inside the smooth seat. The orange classic car offered some privacy. Both front seats slid into more comfortable lengths, and their elbows brushed. The spark of electricity between them could have started the car.
Their eyes locked. They didn’t need words to understand each other. They wanted what the other had.
Indiana received the most proper kiss. The kiss she needed so long ago. The kiss she swore to get before showing him any more of herself. The embrace scorched their bodies together, trapping her in its fullness. Richard’s hands kept her in place. Indiana received his mark. The kiss every lady wanted.
The windows fogged. Indiana needed breath, and their seal broke. She checked herself in a mirror. Her face looked as red as it felt.
Richard dropped his arms and commanded, “Drive me. Go right.”
Indiana didn’t race out of the parking lot, or test the veritable depth of the gas pedal. She drove the most precious cargo. Richard weighed his worth in gold. She concentrated on being smooth, and controlled her lurching reactions.
“Turn here,” Richard said between songs.
Indiana appreciated her copilot. A console barely sat lowly between them. It was a mere child restraint to the arm that reached across it. His big hand petted her little hand that never left the knobby shift.
“I like it when you surprise me at the shop.” Richard opened and closed his hand and brushed her fingertips in both directions.
“Actually, you surprised me.” Indiana kept her eyes to the road.
She tried to focus on the sure to turn red beacon, rather than the green fire bestowing heat on her cheek.
“Turn here.”
Indiana could let him direct her all day. His hand passed her shifting hand. He started playing with dangling fringes hanging from her shorts.
Indiana constantly lived in a state of cottonmouth when near Richard. She finally gave him her tortured eyes. She was relieved to see pain in her partner too. He stopped playing lightly and started groping heavily. A very deep breath almost restored her to the road. She tried to share her attention. He directed her expertly. She shut off the car and looked at him softly.
“Thanks for letting me drive your new car.” She handed over the fat key.
His hand closed over it and he grasped her intensely. “Why don’t you just hold onto this for a while?”
Indiana would rather keep the hand than the gouging key. She swallowed heavily. Her salivary glands were out of commission.
“Come on,” he said, and pulled her onboard an airplane.
“This is yours?” Indiana asked.
Richard nodded obliquely.
Onboard there were three other people. The amazing burst of intimacy went away with the landing gear.
Richard introduced Indiana as the daughter of the legend and idol, Clarence Bernstein. Indiana heard stories about her dad she never would’ve heard otherwise. They were brave and goofy exploits and glimpses of a man she’d never see again.
“So, do you have the same racing genes as your father?” one of the business suits asked.
Richard saw pain in her eyes and deflected it for her. “Yes, she does.”
“Now that’s something I would like to see,” a different face said as he adjusted his tie.
“Me too,” Indiana agreed with them and continued to shock them with her list of accomplishments. Indiana neared the current state of dilemmas about shopping for her own race car. Landing gear touching the ground interrupted the story of her life.
The flight ended a few minutes later. Everyone departed with loud hopes of good luck for Indiana instead of Richard. Everyone wanted her to shock them on and off the track. In theory, only a dinner or two and a few well-placed phone calls stood between Indiana and the racetrack. As long as she could drive with the fury of lightning, have the surprise of the wind, and still take the glaring heat of jealousy.
Richard accepted Indiana’s good luck hug loosely, and left for business. The forward thinking man left slightly distracted, or perhaps more focused on other things. The change in him was uncanny.
Indiana watched the race from his private room. The box seats kept the roar of race cars to a lower decibel. Mirrored glass masked the room’s plushness. It flattered the beautiful people gathered. Indiana was surrounded by Richard’s best and closest fans. She jumped up and cheered with the rest of them.
The intensity of the track hadn’t dulled in the last few years. It felt more in tune with Indiana’s pounding heart than anything else she could remember.
Except, of course, that didn’t count kissing Richard. Which was so hard not to think of when she had been streamed into his headset all day. His resonating voice buzzed straight to her toes. He sounded even better and fuller of confidence on the air waves. He had no reserve for petty information and lashed out gruffly without remorse. Laps spun round and around. Richard was pronounced the leader by points, but unfortunately not in placement.
The last lap ended. All the excitement in the room turned into relieved exhilaration. Indiana sat down in a chair. Her exhaustion could only be attributed to spiritual matters.
Richard Sand undeniably had her heart. Her soul, body, and mind also belonged to him. Some parts of her had been on the track with Richard the whole time even though she sat in a high rise booth.
Being so close, yet so far played tricks on her physicality. Everyone in the booth was wired in to his headset. They listened and watched his every move via technology.
Richards’s voice came clearly over a personal, sometimes for sale, public announcement system. He talked and laughed with his crew. But mostly he whispered under his breath. It sounded like he breathed fire from his nostrils. Indiana could hear him, and he sounded like a dragon.
But Richard couldn’t hear her. It felt like a one-sided connection or a one-sided conversation
. Yet she didn’t know what else to expect from him. This had to be good enough for now.
His precise voice and precise car placement had raised him through the ranks. He could certainly move. Driving with his idea of correctness led to the team’s many two-second debates. With a made decision, the airwaves would clear again. They would all listen to his heavy breathing. Sometimes he would take the turn but always remain on course.
His breathing took Indiana by surprise. Sometimes it sounded heavy and anxious. Then later it could hardly be heard. Indiana’s heart stopped at numerous times. Listening to a loved one beyond reach parked her near the glass. Every whisper, turn, and comment gripped her hard.
He asked to talk to nearly every other person in the room. But Indiana was on a freeze.
She gave him everything but her body. Even that much exhausted her. The gravity of love stunned her. She had been with him mentally, but cushions and comfort separated them.
Indiana had mentally taken every turn and pit stop with him. It exhausted her, but the day wasn’t over yet. Indiana wanted to return the favor and make him proud. Then reality hit. She wanted to congratulate him in private instead of getting ignored in public. She stayed in the box seats.
For the hundredth time she watched Richard give himself to the media. He slid out of the car and took off his gloves. He held two conversations at once. He smiled and looked around widely.
Indiana stayed glued to her chair. She wanted him to receive honors without any added pressures. The rest of the world sat riveted by him. For the best odds of a happy celebration, a young non-family girl shouldn’t stand beside him.
Indiana wanted to be in the winner’s circle. She imagined taking his attention away from jockeying meatheads or parrying newscasters.
Then she imagined getting there in her own right. She could get there by using her own hard work and racing skill. She still wanted to race cars. Being his arm candy came with the territory. Indiana already had his thoughtful friendship. Now she wanted respect as his peer.
Her needs muddled clear vision. Richard stood by his car, nearly alone.
Indiana wanted to reward him. Richard deserved and needed to kiss something. He struggled giving his attention to the camera.
“What was that, Sara?” He looked for someone. “What?”
“I said, how does it feel to be ranked second place in the standings?” The beautiful newscaster spoke loudly and carried a broad smile for thousands of miles.
“Well, I’m going to celebrate real hard and work real light. Wait, I said that backwards.”
Richard smiled and played up to the crowds. His green eyes widened to large shiny gems and he gave a charming smile.
Indiana could read him like a book. They both knew Indiana stared at him through the TV. Richard pointed in the face of the camera right in front him.
“I’m coming for you. Only first place is good enough for a man of my stature.” He swaggered after using big words.
Richard walked away and talked to his crew.
“You heard it here first folks.” The newscaster smiled. “Richard Sand is after the title of racing. This racing circuit just wouldn’t be the same without him.”
Indiana knew he’d been pointing at her. It stopped her breath all over again. The room cleared out. Indiana silenced the newscasters on TV. She couldn’t remain hidden forever.
Indiana walked down to see Richard’s car rolled away. The team hustled with packing and she went down to the lane. She walked through the hesitant dusk. Her steps faltered when she saw Richard.
“Did you fall asleep up there?” His eyes glinted stonily in still air.
“Of course not.” Indiana’s eyes widened as the sun set.
Richard gave a curt nod and struggled for professionalism. “Come on, I’ve been waiting for you.”
He grabbed her arm and hid it close to his side. He opened the driver side door of a parked pickup truck.
“Drive me.” Richard handed her up into the seat.
He slammed the door and it shook the cab. He sat down beside her with a tired force. Richard began to relax. His eyes drooped shut. Their magnetism had finally placed them together.
A calm peacefulness fell between them. Indiana drove slowly from the racing arena. The smell of dust, oil, and confetti finally fell into the past.
Indiana’s eyes went to Richard’s face. He had been looking at her for many miles.
Indiana smiled ruefully. “I thought you were sleeping.”
“No. I could, but I can’t.”
“Yeah.” Indiana always knew what he meant. “Anywhere you want to go before the airport?”
“I’m hungry, let’s go eat.” Richard leaned forward.
He started to remove his shoes and socks. Indiana looked down at his broad boned foot, and smiled.
“You like my big feet?” he asked. “Well, you are going to love this.”
He unzipped his suit, and slid out.
Indiana laughed, but kept her very curious eyes straight ahead.
He slid jeans up his hips, a t-shirt over his shoulders, and slippers on his feet.
Indiana found a local microbrewery on Main Street. They walked into the busiest dinner rush and sat at the bar. Indiana always felt like an outsider because of her age, but Richard didn’t deflect attention. The choice of supplemental nutrition turned into a mistake within five minutes of ordering food.
Richard turned away from the last onlooker requesting an autograph on a napkin. He had politely struggled to make a legible signature on the disposable paper.
“Ahh, Indy,” he said, and faced her.
His legs were on either side of her chair. Indiana’s gaze remained demurely down. He ran a single finger up her leg to her hip. His hand ran out of momentum so it slowly went back down.
“Yes?” Indiana barely recognized her dreamy whisper.
“Let’s leave.” Richard’s fabulous idea had Indiana ready to jump off of her barstool.
They were so close Indiana’s breath blew back his hair. “Uh huh.”
Richard set out a Benjamin to take a rest by the unused silver. They were holding hands when Indiana was led expertly out the door. The truck offered a mediocre safe zone for the hot set of kissers.
The dome light wouldn’t shut off, and the doors locked before the ignition twisted. The truck beeped with enough insistence to cool the couple’s willing receptors.
The drive was short and very sweet. Richard moved the middle console up and out of the way. He put his head between her legs.
“Um, I don’t think…” Her refusal didn’t get any further.
“I’m tired and hungry, and you’re driving me crazy.” Richard put his head back down.
Arriving at any destination, unharmed, required skills Indiana didn’t know she possessed. They stepped from the rental truck and Indiana met him beside the large side mirror.
He stole a very heavy kiss. “Do you taste that, Indy?”
Her only answer came in the form of caressing his lips.
He continued a rhythmic licking. “Doesn’t it taste good?”
“Yes.” She moaned.
“Today I had the best race. Every time I took off my glove, I could smell you. It was so good.”
Indiana began to lean into him and it broke his giving hold. Her shoulders drooped with the change in energy. She adjusted the balance of her head and leaned back to meet his smoky eyes.
“Thanks.” She smiled. “I’m still having a good day.”
Richard groaned and gave her the rest of his energy. The token of appreciation was soon returned. Indiana made dust angels on the truck. She never questioned the depths of her joy. She didn’t think about how completely out of touch the rest of her life was without him in her proximity. Their stolen moment ended with no breath and a lot of sweat. Indiana relished holding him up with her body. She felt his gorgeous weight sear her begging flesh.
Leaving their passionate cocoon, they barely pulled apart. They quit hiding behind
the quad cab and boarded the airplane. Two other chaperones were waiting busily, and doing stuff on mobile offices. The business associates were completely unconcerned with the distracted couple and kept talking business and speculations. Richard’s eyes drooped as he sagged in the plush recliner. The businessmen took their cue. Conversations veered away from the racing genius and continued quietly once the airplane established its route.
They landed not much later.
“Come on, you’ve got to drive me home.” Richard pulled her away from the rest.
“Why are you so tired?”
They were back inside the high pitched whining motor of a car.
“I eat two good meals before racing. So I’ve been awake all night and day.” Richards’s voice sounded close and small.
“Who usually drives you to the race?” Indiana asked the question plaguing her.
“Ben does, but his wife’s having a baby girl.” Richard’s tone of voice didn’t change. “Turn at the next left.”
They arrived at Richard’s adobe mansion. Indiana remembered the last time here. She had crawled into Richards’s bed and slept with him fully clothed.
This time she had different plans. And so did Richard. He started on her face, and slowly kissed his way south. They reached a crescendo, then he sat back for a moment.
“What are you doing?” Indiana whined.
“I’m putting on a condom.” He shuffled around.
Indiana looked up hesitantly. “This is my first time.”
“Yeah, I know.” Richard turned to face her somberly. “I have HIV.”
All of the wind was knocked out of Indiana’s lungs. She couldn’t hide the shock.
“What do you mean? How could you do it? I thought you were careful.”
“It only takes one time, Indiana.” He held up his hands in a defenseless gesture. “Almost everyone famous has it.”
“You’re more careful with cars than with your body.” Indiana rolled over.
“Don’t be mad,” Richard said.
“What? How am I supposed to feel? I mean, I’ve always been in a hurry to get old. Not live as a sick person or die young. How could you do this?”
Indiana’s whole life changed on those three words. They were the worst three words she could ever imagine. All of her anticipation and feelings for him changed.