Clinging to Rapture

by Megan D. Martin

  “What, dear?” my mom said after swallowing a sip of tea.

  “This!” I walked over and thrust the picture in her face. “Why is this in the house? I had you burn them all a decade ago.” With each word my anger multiplied. “Or this.” I darted back over and grabbed the picture of Richard and I as kids. “Why are these up, Mother? Why are there pictures of him in this house?”

  She took another sip of her tea calmly, acting as though I wasn’t standing over her, breathing hard, ready to rip something apart.

  “It’s been nearly a decade, Cole. You need to let your old grudges go. I have forgiven you for your mistakes even though you don’t deserve it.” She set her tea down on the table. “It’s time you accepted you were wrong about everything.”

  I ignored her. “There were to be no pictures of him. NONE!” I shouted the last word. “That was our agreement! I would continue to pay for your ridiculous house. I would pay for your servants, your gardeners. I would do all of that, and all you had to fucking do was get rid of these goddamn pictures!” I threw the frames at the ground, shattering them into a million pieces.

  “There’s no need to get angry. That’s not why I called you here,” my mother huffed, staring at the shattered glass.

  “Let me handle this, Jennifer.” Elaine stood. “Cole, honey. It’s okay.” She tried to touch me, but I jerked away from her. She frowned, her face pinching in an unattractive way. “So that’s how it’s going to be?” She lifted her chin.

  “Why are you here?” I leveled my gaze at her. She shrunk away, taking a step back. I fought to keep calm, lest I do or say something I would regret.

  “She’s here because I want her to be. She’s as much a part of this family as you are and you’re going to marry her.” My mother was now standing next to Elaine.

  “Marry her?” I balked at the idea.

  “Yes. I’m disappointed in you for breaking things off with her. But you’re a man and I know sometimes you need to have your fun. I’m sure you’ve gotten it out of your system now, yes? So, it’s time to marry the love of your life, Elaine.” The two women smiled at each other as if they could already hear the wedding bells.

  “No.”

  “No?” they said in unison.

  “Did I stutter?” I stepped around them, my feet crunching on the broken glass.

  “Where are you going?” Elaine asked from behind me.

  “I’m leaving.” I glanced around, double-checking I hadn’t left anything lying around.

  “You can’t just leave!” Elaine pleaded. “You just got here!”

  “I can and I am. I didn’t come here for some bullshit reunion with you, Elaine. I broke things off with you for a reason.”

  “And what reason is that?”

  I turned to her, looking into her dark eyes. I could remember when I was enthralled by her beauty, so long ago. “I don’t love you anymore. I haven’t loved you in years.” I turned away before I could see her reaction and started heading toward the door. I dug in my pocket for my cell phone. I would be scheduling myself on the first flight out of this hell hole.

  “You think you can love her?” Elaine’s words made me pause. I looked over my shoulder.

  “What?”

  “The stripper. You think you could love someone like her? Do you really think she could be as devoted to you as I am? Do you really want to shame your family by being with someone like her?”

  How does she know about her? I clenched my fist at my side, letting the anger bubble.

  “What? You thought I didn’t know? You think I’m just some dumb bimbo, don’t you?”

  I glanced back and forth between her and my mom. Both products of the best that money could buy, and yet they were both despicable, miserable people who only served to remind me that I wasn’t good enough. No matter what I did, it was never enough for them. They would always want more.

  Funny. They never wanted anything from me when I was just a poor high school boy. I’d once thought I could buy the world and happiness would follow. But here I was, nearly fifteen years into my fortune and I had yet find happiness.

  “I think you’re both dumb bimbos.” I turned away just as my mother gasped.

  “Don’t you dare talk to me like that, Cole Maddon! I am your mother.”

  “Cole!” Elaine yelled.

  But I didn’t stop walking. I let my feet carry me right back out the door. I could hear the scuffle and click of heels on expensive flooring, but I didn’t glance back as I climbed into the limo.

  “Hey man.” I tapped on the partition. The black glass slid open. “Get me the fuck out of here.”

  The older man acted startled with my demand. I could see my mother and Elaine stumbling out the front door, yelling something unintelligible.

  “Um, Mr. Maddon, Ms. Jennifer and Elaine seem to want you to stay.”

  “Well, I want to go, and I pay your salary, so if you would like to keep your job, I suggest you stomp on it.”

  To my satisfaction, he did.

  TWELVE.

  I woke to beautiful silence. The lack of noise jolted me from sleep. The hospital had been too loud, people coming in and out. The tension was thick between my dad and Cole. And somebody wanted me dead. It was suffocating, surrounding me, preventing me from getting any good rest. But now the silence engulfed me and I stretched my body, reveling at the soft, silky sheets against my bare skin.

  Wait, why is it so quiet?

  My eyes popped open, sucking me right out of my soft, comfortable state. A dimly lit room met my gaze. It was quite large, with big windows covered in lavender curtains. Daylight peeked out beneath them, sending a smattering of light across four, bare white walls. Aside from a large LCD wall-mounted TV and a dresser, there was nothing else in the room other than the massive bed I found myself in.

  I glanced down at the purple sheets covering my body. I brushed my fingers against the smooth fabric. Where the hell am I? I sat up and pushed the covers away only to realize I was completely naked. Where the fuck are my clothes? A sense of panic overwhelmed me. When did I leave the hospital? I rushed over to the dresser and jerked the top drawer open. Happy to find clothes inside I started throwing them on, not caring what they looked like.

  I glanced around for something that could be used as a weapon and found nothing.

  Fuck. My heart pounded erratically in my chest as I approached the cracked door and glanced out into the hallway. It was bare, like the room I’d woken up in, though it had dark wood floors instead of carpet that led to a staircase.

  I crept out, my bare feet making no sound on the floor.

  “Meow!”

  I jumped in the air and whirled around to see Weasley plodding up the stairs toward me. Relief flooded my body and I sagged back against the wall as my orange tabby wound his way around my legs.

  “I missed you, little guy,” I whispered and rubbed the top of his head. He purred in response and my heart swelled, tears threatening to spill over onto my cheeks. It seemed like a year had passed since I’d seen him.

  “This is bullshit, Cole. Total and utter bullshit!”

  A voice from down the hall, away from the stairs, startled me, making me jump again. Weasley reacted similarly and hissed in the direction of the noise as he took off down the stairs.

  Cole? Relief swamped me, though fear prickled along my skin at the sound of Elaine’s voice.

  I should have followed Weasley, but the disappearance of some of my trepidation was replaced with another emotion, curiosity.

  “I don’t want to argue with you, Elaine. This is the way things are, this is how they’re going to be. For now.” Cole’s strong voice wafted through the door at the end of the hall as I crept closer.

  “She shouldn’t be here. I’ve tolerated enough from you for the last couple of years. You leaving me for…for…that fucking whore and now you have her in my house!”

  Is she talking about me? I knew she was. I didn’t have to be a genius. I wanted to be offended that sh
e called me a whore, but that’s not what struck me. He left her for me? The concept seemed foreign. Why would he do that? Why would he stalk me if he already had her? I wracked my brain again, trying to remember the story Cole had relayed about the first time he’d met me. I could remember nothing of the encounter, as if it had never happened.

  “She. Is. Not. A. Whore.” Cole’s voice was clipped and hard with anger. My heart thudded hard, but not from fear.

  “Is that what you tell yourself so you feel better at night?”

  “Don’t push me, Elaine. Don’t fucking do it. You know what I’m capable of,” Cole growled.

  “Oh yeah, what are you going to do, Cole? Hurt me?” She paused and I couldn’t see her face, but I could imagine it. Her olive skin spread across her petite features, her red lips smiling sarcastically. “Ruin my life? Murder me like you did all your siblings?”

  Something loud crashed to the floor just as the door swung open, revealing a very angry Cole. His massive body slammed into mine before I could dart out of the way.

  “What the—Julia?” His big hands steadied me before I could fall on my butt. “Fuck, I’m sorry. Are you okay?” I stared up into his face and watched as his gaze softened. For me. Something delicate and fragile swam in my chest, until his eyes dipped down. Something else burned bright in his irises and I followed his gaze. The top I had thrown on in haste was a flimsy, practically see-through tank top that hugged my braless chest like an extra-tight glove. Unbidden, my nipples tightened under his hot gaze.

  For a moment I thought he would ravish me, dip his perfect head of dark hair down to my chest and suckle one of those throbbing tips. Yes, do it! I arched my back, making my breasts jut toward him.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” His gruff voice startled me, sending a thick wave of heat through my body and wetness coating the little shorts I’d thrown on.

  “Fine. So fine.” I wanted to lean my head back and let his greedy gaze consume me.

  “Well, look what we have here.” The sound of Elaine’s voice made me jump. Cole let go of my shoulders and took a step back.

  I fidgeted with the bottom of my shirt, trying to get control of my emotions, before crossing my arms over my chest and meeting her gaze. I looked her up and down. And I couldn’t help feeling accomplished.

  His eyes softened for me. His eyes burned for me. Not for you, you stupid bitch. It was a foolish thought, I know that, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted to rub it in her face that he cared about me. He cares about me! The thought struck me hard in the chest. His presence at the hospital proved that. All of his actions indicated it. He cared about me, and he was afraid. Very much afraid of those feelings. So why did you go back to her?

  “How did I get here?” Instead of snarling at Elaine like I wanted to, I directed the question to Cole.

  He ran a hand over the scruff of his beard. “I brought you here.”

  “Yes, but how…without waking me up?”

  “Oh yes, Cole. Regale her of how you heroically whisked her away from the hospital!” Elaine threw her hands up in the air, exasperated, and brushed past me, her heels clicking on the wood floor. “Our conversation isn’t over,” she added from behind me.

  Instead of looking back at her, I eyed him. He seemed disconcerted, annoyed, and fed up with her presence.

  “You were sleeping soundly when the doctor signed your release papers this morning around three. I didn’t want to wake you, so I had an ambulance bring you here.” He slipped his hands into his pockets and for the first time, I realized he was wearing a full-on suit. The black material hugged his muscular body.

  “And my dad just went along with this?” I considered Dad’s behavior, knowing he never would have gone for it.

  “He didn’t like it, but I can be persuasive.” He crossed his arms, taking on a stance similar to mine, only he looked tougher.

  “What is that supposed to mean? Did you hurt him?”

  “What? No.” He looked offended.

  “You gave him money, then?” Hurt enveloped me. Would my dad just give me up when he’d finally come back into my life?

  “No.” He shook his head, his dark hair brushing against his shoulders. “I gave him assurance.” His dark blue eyes flitted up and down my body.

  “Assurance of what?” I shuffled my feet self-consciously.

  “That nothing and no one would hurt you while you were in my care.” He seemed so certain, so sure of his words that I wanted to believe him, that I really would be safe with him. Have I ever been safe with him? My heart or otherwise?

  “I didn’t want to go home with you.”

  His brows creased for a moment, as if I had wounded him before he covered it up. “You aren’t safe anywhere else.”

  “Oh, yeah? Doesn’t seem like I’m too safe here.” I threw a gaze over my shoulder. Elaine was no longer there; the clicking of her heels had faded.

  When I looked back, a smile had spread across his lips, an utterly life shattering smile that took me back to the day I stood in front of the coffee shop with Cole. He’d told me I was beautiful, demanding I go on a date with him. I was back there with that overwhelming emotion, his eyes crinkling in the corners just like I remembered.

  “You think Elaine had something to do with it?” He chuckled.

  I tightened my arms against my chest. “Why is that funny?” A hint of unease settled in my stomach.

  He took a step toward me, putting his hard body only inches away. The smile vanished as he dipped his head down until his lips were only inches away from mine. “Because she knows not to mess with what’s mine.”

  A shiver, mingling with both unease and arousal, slithered down my spine.

  “But—”

  “Come. There’s something I want you to see.” He straightened and held his hand out to me.

  And I took it.

  “Gran!” I ran forward and wrapped my arms around my eighty-year-old grandmother.

  “What? Oh, baby girl. You scared me.”

  I pulled back and looked down at Gran. “I’m sorry. I feel like I haven’t seen you in a hundred years.”

  She sat in a wheelchair in Cole’s spacious kitchen with her oxygen tank strapped to the back. Small clear tubes encircled her head and snaked into her nose. She clutched a pack of cigarettes in her gnarled hands.

  “A hundred years, good lord Julia, don’t be aging me. I’m still sitting pretty at good ol’ eighty.”

  I giggled and pulled out a chair next to her.

  “They won’t let me smoke these.” She jiggled the pack of cigarettes.

  “Oh, Gran, you don’t need those.” I tried to admonish her, but I couldn’t keep the happiness out of my voice. I leaned in and wrapped my arms around her again, taking in her flowery scent mixed with cigarette smoke. It was the scent of my childhood, and I let it envelop me. Tears sprang to my eyes. “I can’t believe you’re really here.”

  I glanced up at Cole who leaned casually against the kitchen counter. My mouth dropped open at the sight of Weasley, who was now curled up in Cole’s arms and purring so loudly I could hear it across the kitchen.

  “Did you bring her here?”

  “Of course he did, baby girl. How the hell else do you think I got here? I couldna rolled my damn wheelchair all the way over.”

  Cole nodded his head slowly while she spoke, stroking the top of Weasley’s head, and eyeing me carefully, almost as if he was nervous about my reaction.

  “Thank you,” I said, trying to hold the tears back. He cares.

  Gran reached out suddenly and grabbed my chin with surprisingly strong fingers, then leaned in, squinting her blue eyes. “They really did hurt you, didn’t they, baby?”

  I took a deep breath and bit down on my lip before nodding.

  “That motherfucker.”

  Gran’s curse made me giggle in spite of the quiet tears that rolled down my cheeks. “I’m okay.”

  “Yes you are, Julia. You’re tough. Tougher than anyone your age should be.
” She smiled sadly and let go of my chin. I wrapped my arms back around her, letting her love seep into me. She didn’t have to say it for me to know.

  But then a moment of panic seized me and I leaned back. “You aren’t supposed to leave the house without your nurse Lara.” The thought of Gran riding here without the care of a professional made me feel queasy. Gran had always been a self-sufficient strong woman, but in her old age she had a lot of trouble getting around and doing basic tasks for herself. Her dementia had been getting worse over the last five years, and she needed more help remembering to do basic tasks.

  “I gave her the day off.” Cole, his expression stoic, motioned toward the glass doors that led outside. “And rented an ambulance along with a paramedic and an EMT for the day.”

  I could see two women seated at an outdoor table talking to one another. Both wore medical uniforms.

  “And don’t forget about me!” I glanced over in shock when I saw Mandi stroll into the kitchen. Her black hair was up in a ponytail, the colorful tattoos standing out against her pale skin and white shirt.

  “Mandi?” I popped up out of my chair. “You’re here too?”

  “You bet!” She wrapped her arms around me. “I came to the hospital a few times before you woke up.”

  “But how did you—” I leaned back and looked at Cole who hadn’t moved.

  “Girl, when I went up to the hospital today to see you and you weren’t there, I demanded to know where you had been taken.” Mandi smiled brightly, the diamonds sparkling against her teeth. “They looked at me suspiciously and of course that’s when I realized I sounded like a bit of a psycho.”

  I giggled.

  “She’s damn lucky Randy was there. That’s the only reason she didn’t become a suspect.” Cole smiled.

  “Oh yeah, your boyfriend’s hot body guard came to my rescue!”

  “He’s not my boyfriend,” I said quickly, not looking at Cole.

  “Oh, yeah.” She glanced at Cole and back at me. “I forgot about that mess.” She gave Cole a look so dirty I couldn’t help but snicker at the obtuseness of it.