Clinging to Rapture

by Megan D. Martin

  No, I refuse to think like that, this is my fantasy! In my fantasy he wouldn’t feel sorry for me. He would love me. He would move mountains to be with me and we could conquer anything, Cole and I.

  But that image disappeared when he pulled his hand away. “You’re okay for now?” His words were tense like the air around us.

  Am I? I was considerably calmer than I had been just a little bit ago, my body heavy, relaxed by pure exhaustion.

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  He didn’t say anything as he stood, but I got the distinct impression he was disappointed. His feet were quiet against the carpet as he moved toward the door. He cracked it open, letting in a dim light from the hallway. A small orange body darted into the room and I was flooded with relief. Weasley. I must have forgotten to leave the door cracked for him. The mattress dipped as he hopped on the bed next to me and curled up against my side.

  “Julia.” I glanced back at the door where Cole’s shadowy figure was illuminated. My heart seized in my chest. The sight of him leaving did something to me that I couldn’t explain. “You’re safe. No one will hurt you here. I promise.”

  I bit down on my lips and stared at his silhouette. I realized he wasn’t wearing a shirt and his thickly muscled chest was bare. I could almost make out the dark ink on his arms.

  “Julia.” I glanced up to where his face was, though I couldn’t make out his expression. “From the moment I laid eyes on you all I saw was beauty. Complete and utter beauty. A scar isn’t going to change that for me, or anyone else.”

  I opened my mouth as my heart pounded wildly in my chest, but he left the room before I could say anything, closing the door quietly behind him.

  The tears that had never stopped came harder, drenching my pillow until sleep finally sucked me into its depths.

  FOURTEEN.

  One year ago

  “Just sign here and,”—Layla moved her highlighter down the page—“here.”

  She flicked her wrist quickly making a slash of yellow ink on the typed page. She slid the document across my wide desk, a coy smile on her middle-aged face. Layla had been my real estate agent for the last six months since I’d been putting down roots in Texas. She was one of the top agents in the state. She wanted to fuck me, I could tell, which meant she worked extra hard when it came to acquiring the property I wanted.

  “Are ya sure ya wanna to do this?” Randy stood patiently in the far corner of the make-shift office in my new condo. It was only a few blocks from where Julia lived and I wasn’t completely done unpacking yet.

  “As if you really need to ask.” I smiled at Layla, who returned it eagerly.

  “Do ya really want to spend that kinda dough on her? A woman ya haven’t talked to in the last year?”

  Layla’s face fell at the mention of another woman. I hadn’t made any passes at her; while she was beautiful, I only had eyes for one woman and I was intent upon having Julia.

  I shot an annoyed look at Randy. “Would you mind excusing us for a second, Layla? I need to speak with my associate in private.”

  Layla nodded adamantly and hurried out of the room.

  “What the fuck was that all about?” I narrowed my eyes at Randy.

  He moved across the room, his bulky, muscular body barely fitting into the chair across from me. A flat-billed white hat sat on top of his head and contrasted greatly with his dark skin. He wasn’t wearing a suit today, but of course I didn’t have him wear them much anymore. He had to be conspicuous while he watched Julia.

  “I wanted to say something for a long while. I’ve held my tongue for nearly a year, since that night in the parking garage, ya remember?”

  Of course I remembered. That was the night Julia hopped out of her car with those tight jean shorts. I would never forget. I didn’t tell Randy that, though. I gave a nonchalant shrug instead.

  “Yeah, man, I know ya remember. That dreamy-ass look on your face proves it.” He paused, leaned forward, and clasped his hands together in his lap. Something I’d seen him do many times. It was his signature move for when he was about to talk serious about something. “I just don’t get it. Ya attachment to this chick.”

  I looked away from him. I had to. Anger was already starting to pump through my veins. Randy was my friend, had been since one of the darkest times in my life; he understood me in ways no one else did. He had never questioned me before, not until Julia. “You don’t understand.”

  “You’re fucking right I don’t understand.” He laughed, revealing his straight, white teeth. It was the first thing he spent his money on after he started working for me when we got out of prison. His teeth had been bad, some missing, the ones he had were crooked. But now he had a full mouth of porcelain veneers. Perfectly straight and white. “I mean yeah, she’s fucking hot and she got an ass that only happens once a generation, but hell, you’ve got more money than most people on the planet. Ya could buy enough plastic surgery to make any woman ya want look like that.”

  “That’s not the point.” I steepled my fingers and took a deep breath, trying to cool my anger.

  “I know that’s not the fuckin’ point, but ya don’t even know the girl. Ya been stalking her for a year. A whole motherfucking year, man. And ya still haven’t talked to her. Ya haven’t tried nothing, done nothing. What’s the point in that? If ya want to fuck the bitch, then do it. Ya don’t need to live here and buy her apartment building to do that.”

  “Don’t call her a bitch!” I was standing before I realized what I was doing. My chest was heaving, my fists clenched. Randy smirked at me from his seat, his hands interlocked in his lap, completely relaxed. I was a big guy, but Randy could probably beat me in fight on account that he had about thirty pounds of muscle on me.

  “Somethin’ weird is going on with ya, man. Why don’t ya just try to fuck her and get it out of ya system?” He held his hands up. “I mean, I’m not sayin’ I ain’t glad ya dropped that Elaine bitch. She was a gold diggin’ cunt, but come on. Now ya buying her apartment complex.” He gestured to papers awaiting my signature. “What’s next?”

  Rapture. It was the only thing left that I wasn’t mine yet when it came to Julia’s life. I lived near her, I watched her fuck, I had men follow her day and night, I knew her schedule, her life, the fact she didn’t have a real boyfriend, that she didn’t have a relationship with her parents. I knew it all. Owning her building was only the beginning.

  “Ya want that strip club too, don’t ya?”

  “I do.” There was no use in denying it. Layla was already on the case, trying to get in touch with Luke Masterson, the owner of Rapture. I’d never met the millionaire personally, but he was proving to be quite difficult to get in touch with, to my annoyance.

  “So then what?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “What happens when ya own Rapture and her apartment building? What happens after that?”

  I didn’t know. I didn’t know what I would do once I owned everything. I’d been putting off meeting her again. Settling for watching her from afar, for pining, like the motherfucking creeper I was, from a distance. Absently, I rubbed my cheek, as confused about my actions as Randy seemed to be.

  “Do ya remember the first time we met?” Randy asked. I glanced up him, his hands still clasped in his lap. “I’d already been in the big house a good three years before ya came in, but I’d never seen anyone come in the way you did. Do ya remember?”

  I tried to go back to those days, about ten years ago when I was young, rich, and utterly lost. A sense of panic washed over me at the memories that threatened to spill. I shook my head.

  “I can’t.”

  “I didn’t think ya would remember. Ya were a zombie for weeks. Remember that?”

  I frowned and stared at him, puzzled. “What?” My memories of prison were few and far between; I didn’t think about them much, but when I did it was about the later times, when I came back to myself and had started healing from the horrors that had become part of my lif
e.

  “I didn’t figure ya did. That’s why I never said nothin’ about it.” He paused. “You don’t remember what ya told me.”

  He didn’t say it as a question, but a statement.

  “The guards brought ya into my room to be my new cell mate. First thing I noticed was the blood caked under ya nails. Ya were clean everywhere else, but ya nails, man. They were so caked with blood they were black.”

  I wracked my brain for recognition of any of this, but I didn’t have it.

  “When they left, I asked ya what you was in there for.” He smiled. “Ya said you was on vacation.”

  I snorted.

  “Of course that ain’t all ya said.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah, man. You told me ya loved somebody too much. That’s what put ya there in my cell on block C. The roughest block in the whole damn prison.”

  I blinked hard, trying to picture myself with blood caked under my nails spouting about love to a stranger.

  Randy scooted his chair closer to the desk and laid his clasped hands on the dark wood. “I don’t want that to happen to ya again. I don’t want ya to get caught up in something that puts ya over the edge. You can’t be killin’ nobody again. You ain’t gonna make it back out if ya do.”

  I cocked my head and made a shocked noise. “I don’t love her. Julia,” I clarified. “I don’t. I don’t even know her.”

  Randy studied me for a minute, his eyes blank of emotion. “I know, man. That’s the problem. You don’t know her, but what happens when ya do? What happens when ya love her? You’ll do all this”—he gestured to the paper before us—“without any other feelings beside lust and want, but what happens when there’s more? Whatchu gonna do then?”

  The implications of his point sunk in instantly, running down from my head to my toes like hot lava, boiling me in the truth. Fear followed it, making my insides squirm.

  What will I do?

  FIFTEEN.

  I stared at Cole with what was certainly wide-eyed shock as he sat across from me in the plush limo. It was the look I’d been wearing since I awoke several hours before to the sound of hushed whispers in my temporary bedroom. Two women had been inside, shuffling through drawers and packing clothes into a large suitcase. Before I’d had the chance to ask them what they were doing Cole had strolled in to inform me that we were going somewhere.

  “Here.” Cole reached into his pocket and pulled out a white iPhone.

  I took the phone and stared at it with confusion. “What is this for?”

  “It’s your new phone. Your other one broke, so I got you a new one. I meant to give it to you yesterday, but with your gran and Mandi over, I forgot.”

  I’d forgotten about needing a phone. Things had been so overwhelming and chaotic that a phone was the last thing on my mind.

  “Did I get any messages?”

  He eyed me. “I don’t know. I had the service provider set it up for you. I never turned it on.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “As surprising as it may be coming from me, I did not snoop through your phone.”

  I pressed the power button and stuck it in my purse.

  “Where are you taking me?” This was at least the third time this morning that I’d asked, though not with much vigor. Last night’s bout of crying had left me utterly exhausted, even after a night of sleep. I hadn’t put up much of a fight as my things were packed and loaded into the fancy car. I just watched. Disbelief swam somewhere inside me, but more than anything I felt numb. Nothing could surprise me anymore.

  “Away from Dallas. You need some space after everything that’s happened.”

  “And what about Elaine? Will she be joining us?” The petulance in my voice didn’t have to be faked.

  Cole studied me quietly for a moment. He looked stunning as always, adorned in khaki pants, a light blue button-up shirt, and a dark blue blazer. His shoulder length hair was wavy and loose, the brown locks framing his masculine face. My heart leapt in my chest before I internally smacked it for acting up.

  “She isn’t. She left to go visit her mother this morning.”

  “Of course that’s the reason.” I sighed and peered out the window.

  “What is that supposed to mean?” Cole leaned toward me, his large, tattooed hands sliding along his pants until they reached his knees. I remembered the way those hands had gripped my skin, while he shoved his rock hard cock into me, his blunt nails biting into my flesh. I shivered.

  “It means I was invited along on this trip because she was busy.” I let my own words sink in for a second, truly understanding what they meant. “Which means I don’t care to go. You’ve done enough for me. It’s time for me to go back home, return to my life.” The very thought of doing just that scared the hell out of me, but after what happened the night before, I realized this situation was far from one I wanted to be in. Him calling me beautiful physically altered my heart forever, but that didn’t mean anything. Cole was getting married. Married. To a woman who probably wanted me dead.

  A smile crooked his perfect lips, though revealed no teeth. “Sounds like someone is jealous.”

  “What?” My mouth gaped open. “I-I-no!” I fumbled over my words.

  “That’s what it sounds like.” There was a glint in Cole’s eyes that was so familiar I almost wanted to smile at its return. It was the calculated glint I’d seen so many times when I first met him at Rapture. Like he was planning something.

  I didn’t know what to say, so I just shook my head.

  “I’m right, aren’t I?” He leaned toward me. His big body engulfed the aisle space between us. His elbows rested on his knees and his hands hung limp between his legs.

  I eyed him warily, confused by his sudden change in attitude. Since I’d awoken from my coma he had treated me as if I were made of glass, catering to my every need. Now it seemed something had returned, something from before. A bitterness he’d kept hidden.

  “I’ve never been interested in being someone’s second choice,” I said at last.

  My words had immediate effect. Cole visibly flinched, his body jerking as if I’d slapped him. I tried to keep the bewilderment off my face, but I wasn’t sure I succeeded.

  He leaned back in his seat, vacating the aisle space. “Second choice, huh?” He ran a hand through his hair. “Only you would say something as ridiculous as that.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “What is it supposed to mean?” He shook his head at me, as if I was some sort of nitwit who just didn’t get it.

  “Don’t look at me like that, Cole. Don’t act like I’m stupid.”

  “Well, saying something like that to me is stupid, Julia.”

  The anger in his words confused me further. “Oh yeah? How is that stupid? You are getting married to Elaine, are you not?” My heart was pounding erratically in my chest. I knew we were going to have this conversation; I knew it would happen at some point as long as we were around each other, I just didn’t know it would be this soon.

  “It’s not that simple, Julia.” Cole clasped both fists tightly in his lap. The old English lettering of the words love and them on his knuckles seemed to expand.

  “Not that simple?” I threw my hands up in the air, exasperated by it all. “Then explain it to me.”

  “You wouldn’t understand.” He looked away, staring at the closed partition that separated us from the driver.

  “Try me.”

  He let out a deep breath, as if he had been holding it for hours. I fidgeted with the bottom of my knee-length sundress. Why am I nervous?

  “I am taking you on this trip. You. No one else. If you don’t want to go, so be it.” Cole’s dark blue eyes chilled me to the bone. “But you will be staying with me until we get to the bottom of this, until we figure out who did this to you, you will be with me and under my protection. It isn’t safe for you otherwise.” The authority in his voice made a rush of wet heat coat the tiny pant
ies I was wearing. “You need a break, a chance to get away from this place and clear your head. I want to give you that.” His expression had turned to one of pleading, as if he needed this trip more than I did.

  I eyed him, trying to make sense of everything, but knew I wouldn’t understand. There were no answers in the handsome contours of his face, only more questions.

  “I’ll go.”

  Cole didn’t smile at my admission. He didn’t look satisfied that I’d given in; instead he looked terrified, as if I had just signed his death warrant.

  “You okay?”

  I un-scrunched my eyes and peeked out from under my lashes. Cole sat across the aisle from me, buckled into a butter-like leather seat similar to my own. We’d only climbed onto Cole’s private jet a few minutes before. I’d been miffed when we pulled up to the airstrip. I knew he said we were going out of town, but I hadn’t considered we might be flying. I’d never been on a plane in my life and had always been a little terrified of the idea.

  I nodded my head and closed my eyes again, gripping both hand rests as tightly as I could. The jet engine rumbled and my heartbeat accelerated.

  “Are you sure?”

  Cole sounded concerned, but the plane started moving so I didn’t have time to consider him. I was too busy dealing with my fear. What if we fall out of the sky?

  “You haven’t flown before.” Cole’s voice was closer and I popped my eyes open to see him settle down in the seat to my right. “Don’t be scared.” The tips of his lips tilted up into a genuine smile. “You’re safe, I promise.”

  “I don’t think so.” I shook my head. “Only birds are supposed to fly.” I repeated the words I’d heard Gran say all my life. She’d never flown and never planned to.