Scars

by Avery Ford

  “Hello!” Henry called back. “Um, I’m here to make an inquiry. Whenever you’ve got a second.”

  “Just gimme one sec.” A young woman emerged from a door to the left, wrangling a kitten. The kitten had its claws sunk into her shirt and was climbing her like a tree. Every time the woman got a grip on him, he mewled and squirmed away. “Gotta get this little guy back to his friends. I found the little stinker rolling in his litter box. Had to give him a bath. I thought only dogs did things like that, but I guess this guy is taking some cues from his neighbors.” She darted into another room on the left-hand side and left Henry momentarily on his own.

  He set his duffle bag down and looked around. The shelter had seen better days. Between the old infrastructure and the outdated, dusty decor, it was in desperate need of an upgrade. Henry guessed that it wouldn’t be remodeled any time soon. As far as he knew, the shelter ran as a non-profit. There wasn’t a lot of money to go around.

  The young woman returned at last, kitten free. She joined him in the reception area and brushed a strand of brown hair behind her ear. “What can I help you with today?”

  “I came to check in on some dogs that were brought here the other day,” Henry said. Suddenly he felt unsure of himself. He wasn’t sure what else to tell her, and he knew he was going to look like a fool. “Um, the police probably brought them over. I know that the man who found them took them to the station first.”

  “Oh. Yeah, of course. Mama and babies.” The woman beamed. “Five puppies and a beautiful mama dog. I’d offer to let you see them, but it turns out that most of the puppies are sick. We have four of them in quarantine at the vet right now, but there’s one who has a clean bill of health. You can see him if you want.”

  “What about the mother dog?” Henry asked. “Is she pulling through?”

  “She’s doing fine. She had a microchip, and we’ve contacted her owner. He’s supposed to come by to pick her up this afternoon. Since she’s going out, we’re not holding viewings for her, but the puppy is unclaimed. The owner says she’s been a stray for so long she must have conceived while she was away, but somehow I doubt that. The puppies are pure Dalmatian. That’s not an accident.” She shrugged. “But what can you do, I guess? I’m glad she’s going back home. It’s a hard life in the shelter.”

  Henry bit down on his bottom lip. “Dalmatians?”

  “Mmhm. Not super common, but that’s definitely what they are. The babies are just starting to get their spots over the last few days. Come see.” She gestured for Henry to follow her, then headed down the hallway and stopped by a door locked with a keypad. She inputted a string of numbers and the door opened. The barking grew louder. Ahead of them stretched chained kettles, and Henry saw dogs of all shapes and sizes beyond. To their immediate left were a few smaller crates separated from the chaos of the kennels. The young woman stopped in front of one of the crates and opened the front grating.

  “Come see,” she bade Henry. “The vets say that he has hearing loss. It’s common in Dalmatians. Poor little guy.”

  Henry dropped to his knees beside her and looked into the crate. Inside was a tiny white puppy, the first black spots starting to darken in his fur. He was curled up on a towel, but when Henry dropped to his knees to look in, he lifted his tiny head and looked out at them. Beautiful brown eyes looked back at him. The puppy didn’t lift his ears.

  “He’s super cute, isn’t he?” she asked. Henry nodded. “He’s a little too young to go join the other dogs in the kennel, but it won’t be long until he’s bouncing around full of energy and getting in our hair.”

  “You mean he has to live in this tiny cage until he can go join the others?” Henry asked. “How long is that going to be?”

  “Mm, another month and we’ll be able to put him in with our small dogs. There aren’t many, but we want to make sure that he’s big enough to care for himself if there are any scuffles. Because he suffers from hearing loss, we don’t want to put him with other, stronger dogs when he’s still so young. Sometimes play gets rough.”

  “And he’s supposed to sleep here?” Henry asked in a soft voice. More than anything, he wanted to reach forward and pet the puppy. “All day?”

  “Well, they get out for exercise as often as we can take them, but it depends on volunteers. In the winter, it’s a bit harder to come by help.”

  A whole month living in a tiny cage. Henry couldn’t care the thought of it.

  “Can I touch him?” he asked.

  “Yeah! Here. Let me get him out for you. He’s a sleepy little guy right now, just weaned.” The woman plucked the puppy up from his blanket and held him up. He yawned, tongue stretching forward and his eyes closing. Henry’s heart melted. “Take him.”

  Henry gently accepted the puppy from the woman and held him against his chest. He was tiny and soft and didn’t squirm much.

  “How big is he going to get?” Henry asked.

  “Thirty to seventy pounds. A good medium-sized dog,” she replied. “Hard to imagine that a puppy like that’s going to grow up, right? Take a look at his paws.”

  Henry looked down at the puppy’s paws. They were larger than his body needed. With time, he’d grow into him.

  “So far, he’s a quiet, well-behaved boy. Part of that’s due to his age, but I have a feeling he’ll be mellow even when he gets older.”

  Henry smoothed his hand down the puppy’s body, knowing he was already head over heels. The puppy yawned again, then stretched and curled up in Henry’s arms.

  “And the owner doesn’t want him?” Henry asked. “Really?”

  “Really.” The woman nodded. “He’ll be living here until he finds a home.”

  “What do I need to do to take him home?” Henry asked, impulsively. “I want him.”

  He’d never owned a dog before. His mother loved them, but his father forbid animals in their house. Pritchard was much the same. But Henry’s life was changing. By the end of the day, he might be preparing to leave for good and start a new chapter of his life.

  Or preparing for a new start in Blue Mountain.

  “Oh, well.” The woman smiled. “Why don’t you take him back with me to the reception area? There are some forms we need to fill out, and there’s a small fee we ask all prospective owners pay to help us cover vet bills and keep our doors open.”

  “Of course.” The puppy was falling asleep, and Henry held him closer. “Let’s get things squared away.”

  The woman brought him back to the reception area, and he filled out the forms as he held the puppy with one arm. She charged Henry’s card, then handed him the papers he was supposed to keep.

  “When he’s old enough, he needs to get fixed. We need to keep him here until you can report back with a leash, collar, and appropriate tags. We’ll also take the time to submit the microchip information, so if your little guy gets out, someone will be able to help him find his way home.”

  “Of course.” Henry nodded. He ran his hand over the puppy’s small head, enjoying the feel of his velvet ears. “He’s going to have a really great life, I promise.”

  “I’m sure.” The woman reached out, and Henry handed her the puppy. “We’ll see you soon.”

  “Definitely. As soon as I can.”

  Henry left the shelter with his duffle bag back over his shoulder. He didn’t have a collar, or a leash, or even any dog food, but he knew that what he was doing was right. It was the first time in his adult life that he’d done something without worrying about the consequences, and the first time he’d done something that he wanted to do without input from anyone else.

  It was liberating.

  Henry stepped outside and lifted his chin to look at the sky. The sun was shining, causing the snow to sparkle. The air was crisp, and it filled his lungs and made him aware of his body inside and out.

  More than that, he knew now that he loved Caleb.

  Jobs would come and go. He could make a living doing anything he wanted, and he could even swallow his pride and w
ork for his father if it came down to it. But love? Love was rare.

  Henry wasn’t sure how the conversation would turn out, but what he did know was that there was no way in hell he was going to let someone else decide his destiny for him. If he could work things out with Caleb, and if Caleb actually wanted him back, maybe he’d stay.

  No matter what, inside the shelter, the little bundle of fur in his arms promised that nothing would be the same from here on out. The puppy was Henry’s commitment to change, and Henry wasn’t going to allow himself to forget it.

  It was time he stood up for his own happiness.

  Whether that happiness was in Blue Mountain or in Ashford, he’d have to decide for himself.

  Caleb

  Caleb opened the door to his house and let himself in, Mrs. Turner’s pep-talk still fresh on his mind. He needed to talk to Henry and set things straight between them, but Henry wasn’t home by the time he returned from lunch. He had to be working.

  Caleb walked through the house, and for the first time since he moved, he realized how dark it was. The curtains were drawn and the blinds were down. The door leading out to the back porch was closed, blocking out light. Window by window, Caleb pushed back the curtains and pulled up the blinds. Light shone through, and the house’s atmosphere changed instantly.

  The light coming in from the windows shined on a pair of Henry’s socks he’d missed during his sweep of the living room the other day. Caleb sighed and shook his head, but despite himself, he couldn’t help but smile. Some things would never change. While he always wanted Henry to keep growing and bettering himself, he hoped that the little quirks he adored about his lover would never fade away.

  If Henry would ever take him back.

  Caleb collected the socks and brought them back upstairs. He tossed them in his laundry bin, then eyed the stack and paused. Henry’s clothes were mixed in with his.

  “Guess we’ll do this, then,” he murmured to himself. Caleb opened the curtains and pulled up the blinds. Light flooded into the room. The small stuffed sparrow Henry left behind sat on his bedside table. He looked at it as he passed by and picked up the laundry basket, then headed from the room. He’d put on a load and get that out of the way while he waited for Henry to get back.

  On the way down the stairs, Caleb realized he wasn’t out of breath. In weeks past, climbing just one flight of stairs was too much for him. These days, he was climbing stairs with ease.

  Times were changing. Caleb’s health was steadily improving. The dark days would end soon, and he’d be independent again.

  The only part missing is Henry.

  Caleb loaded the washing machine with their clothes and set it to fill. On his way up the stairs, he tested himself, pushing to climb them quickly. By the time he reached the ground floor, he was panting, but nowhere near as winded as he’d been before.

  Caleb felt on top of the world despite his weakness. The possibilities felt limitless.

  Since Henry had left, Caleb had spent some time reflecting on his future. Henry was right. Caleb wanted to stay connected to the world of firefighting, but even if he could become a full-fledged firefighter again, he wouldn’t. He didn’t miss that life.

  Caleb had other things to live for now, and other goals he wanted to reach.

  He wanted to go back to school for arson investigation. Caleb would never put out another fire again, but he could still be involved in the process. With a little bit of time spent bettering his education, he could rise back up and get back on the horse.

  Only, after doing some research over the past couple of weeks, he discovered Blue Mountain didn’t offer the required courses.

  Caleb was still mulling it over as he moved into the hallway and started to dress to head outside. He was tired of waiting. The afternoon was pressing onward and still Henry wasn’t home. Caleb wondered if he planned to never come back to the house again.

  He headed outside and began the walk to Rustic Treasures. There was a chance Henry was working late, or that he was sticking around to talk to Norman. If he was still there, Caleb wanted to catch him before he had a chance to disappear. They needed to talk, and they needed to do it soon. Mrs. Turner was right.

  Caleb walked to the downtown area and made his way to Rustic Treasures. Norman was sitting at the cash register, a book open on the counter. When Caleb entered, he set the book aside and smiled. “Looking for Henry?”

  Caleb was taken by surprise. “I am.”

  “He’s not here,” Norman said simply. “His shift finished at two today. He’s been gone for a little while.”

  “Do you know where to?” Caleb asked. It was almost three, and the walk back to the house took no time at all. “I need to talk with him.”

  A look crossed Norman’s face. Caleb wasn’t sure how to read it, but he took it to mean that Henry didn’t want to see him. Caleb knew that Norman lived in the shop, and the long hours without much business meant that there was plenty of time to talk. Norman likely knew all about their problems.

  Caleb crossed an arm over his chest and rubbed at his opposite arm nervously.

  “He didn’t say what his plans were,” Norman admitted. There was no vitriol in his voice, and nothing to suggest that he thought poorly of Caleb. Still, Caleb was careful. The townsfolk were quick to gossip about him, and he was never sure who he could trust. “I’m sorry. I’d help you if I could.”

  “I understand,” Caleb said as he nodded. “I’ll go see if I can track him down. The town’s not all that big, after all. Thanks for your help.”

  On his way to the door, Caleb stopped. He turned to look over his shoulder. “And if he comes back here, can you let him know that I’m looking for him?”

  “Of course.” Norman said. “I’ll tell him to get in touch with you right away.”

  “Thanks.”

  Caleb headed back outside. He was no stranger to hard work, and if Henry wanted to hide from him, he’d have to give chase. It didn’t matter anymore what anyone in town thought, or how badly Henry never wanted to see him again.

  If Caleb gave up on Henry now, he’d regret it for the rest of his life.

  Henry

  Henry approached the house from one direction to find Caleb approaching it from the other. Caleb’s hands were shoved in his pockets and his breath puffed in the air. Henry’s heart fluttered when he saw him, and instinctively he dropped his gaze.

  “Henry,” Caleb called out as they drew closer. They stood on opposite ends of the driveway, facing one another. Henry kicked at the slushy snow clumped between the sidewalk and the road. “Henry, I need to talk with you, I need—”

  “No. I want you to listen before you say anything.” Henry lifted his head, determined not to chicken out this time. There was so much he wanted to say, and so much he wanted to sort out, that he wasn’t sure where to begin. But beginning at all was a great start. “I want to tell you that you’re an idiot, and you need to get over yourself, but that I’m not giving up on you. I know you didn’t mean the things you said. I know that you’re hurt, but I’m here for you.”

  Henry watched Caleb as he stood there, hands in his pockets, face a mask. His cheeks were red and the scarring on his face looked irritated. He’d been outside for a while in the cold, and despite his scarf, he was chilled.

  Henry’s cheeks felt just as red, but not because he was cold. His pulse raced, and his mouth felt clumsy as he tried to get to the point. No sentence he could string together was good enough. How was he supposed to tell Caleb how he felt when he couldn’t even find the words to describe it? The chills Caleb gave him and the pain Henry felt when they were apart were unlike anything he’d felt before. Not even from Pritchard.

  “And I want to tell you before anything else is said, before you can put your foot in your mouth all over again and decide what’s best for me, that I love you. I’m in love with you. You can push me around as much as you like, and badmouth me as much as you want, but that’s not going to change. I’m never going to l
et myself come to harm again, but I don’t want to give up on you just yet. I’m here for you. Please, please, hear me.” By the time he finished, he was breathing hard, shifting up and down on the balls of his feet.

  Was it enough? Was he enough?

  Caleb’s mouth opened, but he didn’t speak. They stood at a distance, too intensely locked in conversation to move. The wind bit at the nape of Henry’s neck and ruffled his hair. He tried to figure out what Caleb was thinking, but his expression was only surprised.

  “But…I heard your phone conversation. You said you wanted it to stop. Us.”

  Henry shook his head, his eyes widening. “I wanted the pretense to stop. Not us.”

  Finally, Caleb spoke. “Good.”

  Good? Henry barked out a laugh, unsure what else to do. After that long-winded, rambling confession, all Caleb had to say was good?

  “I came out here to find you because I needed to tell you the same thing.” Caleb’s eyes brightened, and his lips twisted upward just slightly at the corners into a subtle smile that made Henry’s knees weak. “I thought you were never coming home, and I couldn’t live with myself if you walked out of my life forever. What I said, I said because I didn’t think you deserved to be shackled to a man as hideous as me. You’re young, and vibrant, and damn gorgeous, and you deserve someone who’s every bit as wonderful as you are.” He paused. “I felt like that someone wasn’t me.”

  Henry took a hesitant step forward. Adrenaline rushed through his veins, and he couldn’t sit still. Every inch of his skin felt like it was vibrating. He was attuned to Caleb in ways he’d never dreamed were possible, and he loved every second of it.

  Love was everything he’d hoped it would be. Difficult, frustrating, infuriating, and yet somehow worth every second of the chase.

  “That’s ridiculous.”

  “I know.” Caleb breathed in deeply and held it. “I know that now. It took me longer than it should have for me to see it, but I know I was wrong. I should never have let myself make your decisions for you. What you want is your choice, and I shouldn’t have tried to influence it.”