by Rita Hestand
She stretched out on the bed and before she knew what was happening, she was asleep.
But sadly there were no dreams and when she woke up, she felt a disappointment she couldn't explain.
Perhaps he no longer desired her. He said it was impossible. She knew what he meant. Was he trying to scare her away? It sounded like it. Still, she'd seen desire in his eyes more than once. She still saw that spark of desire in his eyes, but he didn't speak of anything but business with her.
Maybe he didn't love her. Maybe it was just some kind of foolish notion that she had cooked up.
She hoped she hadn't ruined things. Perhaps she shouldn't have let him touch her, but in their dreams he had done much more so why was it wrong to let him touch her? She didn't know how he felt about things, except he seemed to think a relationship between them wouldn't work.
In reality, she knew he was right. And in some strange way she realized that he might just be protecting her from himself now. That made sense.
If that were so, why had he obviously enjoyed himself in their dreams. But was that all it was, enjoying each other, some kind of physical gratification? She couldn't believe that. It was more! So much more.
How could she convince him it was more? How could she make him understand she knew the risks?
For days she rehearsed and although Dakota was there, he made no move toward her. A restlessness came over her. Maybe it was just physical. Maybe she did need to back away from it and look at it differently.
However, the problem with backing away was once you were intimate with someone it was hard to just back off.
He had walked her home nearly every night, but he had stopped kissing her, probably not wanting to encourage their alliance. Would she have to resign herself to just being friends with him? She didn't know if she could.
But one night a drunk followed them. He had come out of the saloon, staggering about, and noticed them walking along. Dakota let her know someone was following. And when they rounded the corner, the drunk jumped out at her, tearing her dress at the shoulder.
Dakota jumped him from the darkness and knocked him to the ground. The man struggled to his feet and stared at them.
"Why you always around her. You never let up. You and this Injun got something going?"
"He's my bodyguard, here to protect me against men like you." She insisted.
"Bodyguard?"
"That's right Mr. Montgomery hired him." She protested.
The man seemed to study on it a minute. "Montgomery huh, well, I guess I was mistaken. Sorry, goodnight to you Miss Hilton. I'm sorry, I just had too much to drink I guess. But if you don't mind me sayin' so, you are a beauty. A real beauty. Any man would be proud to have you on his arm."
"Goodnight…" She murmured and watched him walk away.
Dakota stared at her, "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine…" She nodded.
"He tore your dress…"
"I can mend it."
"I appreciate you taking up for me." He grinned.
"It's the truth, you are my bodyguard, aren't you?"
"Is that all I am?" he asked his eyes darkening with the question.
"No!" She answered boldly. "I'm nearly home now." She looked at her dress.
But as he came close to the bushes he pulled her into the darkness and kissed her hotly. "Dammit," he murmured as he held her in his arms. "I wasn't going to do this, but I can't stand to see anyone hurt you."
And then he kissed her, hard and unyielding as though he couldn't get enough of her. He pulled her up hard against him and she felt his arousal. She swooned.
"Oh God no, it's not all you are to me," She cried between his breathless kisses.
It had been much too long, and the way he held her so protectively and possessively, she swooned in his arms and let him have his leave. The kiss went on and on and she gloried in it.
He pulled away and looked into her eyes. He saw her smile and he stared long and hard.
"This is no place to make love," he whispered hovering over her lips.
"No it isn't. Then take me to your place…" She cried realizing that she'd opened her heart and soul to this man and was committed.
He looked down into her eyes and touched his finger to her lips. "You are such a special person. If we are to be together, and I see now, we must, we must be very careful. You are white and the people here would not understand. I do not want to hurt you in any way. I only want to love you."
"I want the same, and I don't care, I want to be with you," she whispered. "Don't you want me?" She cried.
"With every breath I take, I would walk through fire to have you. But we have to be careful. Tomorrow night, after rehearsal, wait around, then, we will go upstairs if you still want to. For now, it is the best I can offer you. If I walk you back there tonight and someone sees us, it will cause us both heartaches."
"Do you think my feelings will change that quickly?" She asked.
"No, dear one, I do not. I have seen your heart in your eyes when you look at me. I've tried to ignore it, but I cannot any longer." He said and kissed her again, this time on the forehead. "I want you in my bed, always. Tomorrow then."
"Always?" She asked with a smile.
"Always," he repeated and kissed her on the tip of her nose.
"Promise me tomorrow?" She asked breathlessly.
"I promise." He grinned. "Now go…"
Chapter Eleven
The next day Maggie got up at dawn, feeling invigorated since she'd gotten a good ten hours sleep. She stretched and went downstairs for some of Ma's coffee and scrambled eggs and biscuits. She was so happy she was humming a tune.
"You're up early," Ma noted as she gave her a once over.
"Yes ma'am I am. Gotta busy day, gonna do my hand wash and clean the room and then go to rehearsal. But first, I'm gonna sit and have a cup of your coffee and breakfast and talk to you. How does that sound for a lovely day?"
Maggie chuckled and poured herself a cup of coffee and then began helping herself to the scrambled eggs and biscuits. Ma also had some bacon she just finished frying.
"So this is what woke me up, the smell of bacon frying." Maggie laughed. "That will do it every time. You're fantastic cook, Ma. But of course I'm not the first person to tell you that, I'm sure."
"All right sugar, what's up?" Ma turned to look at her with her spatula in her hand.
"He loves me Ma." Maggie smiled.
"Do tell!" Ma smiled and nodded. "I thought it might have something to do with that. You're absolutely bubbling over."
"He told me, last night as he walked me home."
"Well what brought it on?" Ma asked. "I mean a man don't usually just blurt it out without some provocation."
"Actually, something did sort of prompt it. A drunk came out of the saloon. I didn't recognize him or anything, but he followed us and when Dakota jumped into the bushes I guess he didn't see it and he started attacking me. Dakota jumped him and knocked him down and told him to go home. After I told him that Dakota was my bodyguard, he settled out and left."
"For ever more," Ma shook her head. "He attacked you."
"Well, he tore my dress at the shoulder," Maggie told her.
"He thought you was alone."
"Yeah, I guess he did."
"Then what happened?" Ma asked nibbling on a biscuit.
"Dakota kissed me because he was afraid the man had hurt me and was concerned. And he told me that he loved me. That he'd fought it a million times, but he loved me and he couldn't deny it any longer. He told me he'd never met a white woman who didn't see color."
"What did you do?" Ma asked coming toward her.
"I told him I loved him too." Maggie laughed.
"So now what's gonna happen?" Ma was breathless herself.
Maggie blushed, "He's got a room upstairs and well, we're gonna spend some time together. Oh, he'll have me home at a decent hour. No one will know but the three of us."
Ma nodded. "Honey, if it were any
other man, I'd be upset with you, but this is sort of one of them rock and hard places. Just make sure you don't let anyone see you."
"I promise. And if they ever do Ma, we'll go away from here and live together. That is if he'll have me."
"And have one of them chiefs or something marry you."
"Oh yes ma'am." Maggie smiled.
"But what about the marriage contract?"
"Well, I'll just have to wait and see about that part." Maggie shrugged. "We haven't got that far in figuring things out. Maybe I can arrange for the judge to let me just keep working at the Golden Slipper Opera House, it is a job."
"That would be good. We'll talk to him about that together, I know him pretty well."
"Oh Ma, that's so sweet of you to help. You know, Ma everyone does like Dakota, except maybe Richard. He doesn't like anyone that isn't white."
"Richard doesn't matter. Honey, I know you love Dakota. And I reckon he loves you. So, I want to help you all I can." Ma told her. "Because you need someone in your corner."
"Thanks Ma…" Maggie smiled. "I know that everyone that knows me thinks I can't cope with that kind of situation, but Ma, you can do a lot of things you didn't know you could when you love someone. I know we are gonna have troubles. But sometimes it's all worth it. It's more than physical Ma. He's a good person. He really is. A decent kind of man. I'd about given up finding one to tell the truth. He's self-educated himself. He wants to constantly improve. But he's still enough Indian to love the simple things in life, like listening to the mockingbird, watching the sun set, he believes in God too. We do have a lot in common Ma."
"You know Maggie, after you told me about what your Pa done to you. I can understand you falling for a man like Dakota. He's very protective of you and I think that's part of what made you fall so hard for him."
Maggie looked at her and tear fell on her cheek. "It is part of it. Ever since then, I've needed something to make me feel safe. I know my Pa can't hurt me anymore, but Ma, he did enough damage. No one knows about him but I think Dakota realizes it too. I never felt so safe in my life as I do in his arms. I know he would die to protect me. But Lord, I couldn't live if he died doing that."
"I can understand that. You've been through some hard times Maggie. Maybe God has sent you someone that can help take care of you. And I guess you need a very powerful kind of man to do it. Dakota sure fits that bill."
"Ma," Maggie stared at her a moment, "Is there something about me that makes men want to take the advantage. I mean am I doing something to cause it? I try to dress decently. I try to not to flirt with a man unless I'm really interested in them. I don't walk the streets or anything. But something in me encourages men to leer and come at me. What is it Ma? Please tell me."
Ma shook her head and looked out the window for a moment. "Child you are blessed as a beautiful woman, and some men are just born nasty. You have a body that men can't ignore. It doesn't matter how you dress, you could wear your clothes fastened under your chin and they would still look. But others, like your Dakota are there for you. You cling to him. I know your safe when you are with him. And he's been so good to you and respectful of you. That day you came home from the creek, crying. You said Dakota could have taken an advantage and didn't, but let you cry. Why, how many men would do that? Not many, I can tell you. He's a good man, Maggie."
"Oh God Ma, I'm nearly afraid to be this happy." Maggie cried.
"Yeah, I can understand that too. That's the way I felt when I was with Harry's daddy."
"Ma, you think you'll ever remarry?" Maggie asked with bright eyes.
"Not unless God wills it. I can't see what any man would want with an old gal like me. All I'd be good for is holding hands I would imagine."
"Don't sell yourself short Ma. You are quite a woman."
Ma chuckled.
They talked for a long time, then Maggie went upstairs and washed out some of her under clothes and hung them on the line her and the girls had strung across the room. She looked around at the place with new eyes.
She smiled at the recollection. Jo Ella had found Harry and was very happy, with a baby about to be born, Trish had run off with her gambling man and wrote regular letters to all the girls about how they finally found a place of their own and settled down. Her baby might have already been born. Nadine was now a very respected woman of her community and spent hours helping her husband and the black women of the community with starting a school for black children. She was pregnant again and Maggie hoped she'd have a big family. Sarah was one of the best minister's wives Maggie had ever seen and even helped with the ranching some. Although Sarah wasn't pregnant yet, Maggie was sure she would be in the near future. She'd prayed for her many times. They'd all found love and peace here in Vada. And now, Maggie was going to be happy.
She sighed and finished her wash.
After cleaning the room and helping Ma hang some heavy laundry out, she went to the theater to practice.
Simon was there playing a new tune he'd wrote, him and Dakota were talking and laughing as she came in.
She put her things down and joined them.
Mr. Montgomery came in that afternoon, "Glad to see you all here. Since Maggie has been so successful here, I've actually been able to hire on a couple of actors that will offer some side entertainment between your numbers Maggie. They'll be here in two weeks. Dakota you'll be their bodyguards too; can you handle that?"
"Of course," Dakota nodded.
"Simon you might actually have a few more numbers each performance so your pay will reflect that and Maggie, I'm raising your salary since you've brought in customers for the small towns around here. Dakota you've been so helpful with the stage, body guarding and all the things around here you do for me, I'm raising your salary too."
"Well, you are just full of good news, aren't you?" Maggie laughed.
"I'm giving you a raise because you've brought all this business into us. You are very valuable to me Maggie. To all of us."
Maggie blushed, "Thank you Mr. Montgomery. But, I'd like to make a suggestion to you."
"Sure, what's that?"
"Well, you may not know it, but Simon here plays a very mean piano. He's been practicing to play concerts. Why don't you give him a chance to play some tunes between my numbers?"
"I hadn't thought of that. Have you listened to him play?"
"Yes, many time I and Dakota have heard him practice tunes. He's very good."
"Alright, I'll do that. Would you play intermissions for us, Simon?"
Simon looked up and suddenly turned a bright red, "I'd love to, Mr. Montgomery."
"Wonderful. If I'd have known that before, I wouldn't have hired the magic act."
"Well, carry on, Saturday is another sellout day." He chuckled.
He left and the three of them talked and chuckled.
"I can't believe you told him that…" Simon came up to her.
"Well, it's the truth, and I don't mind sharing the spotlight with you at all." She smiled.
Dakota chuckled. "You play very well."
"I never dreamed…."
"You never know where it might lead, Simon."
"Thank you Miss Maggie, Dakota, you two are such sweet people." Simon seemed a bit emotional.
After a couple of hours Simon went home and only Maggie and Dakota were there alone.
Maggie was anxious. She sincerely hoped Dakota hadn't changed his mind.
But he waited about thirty minutes, making sure everyone was gone and all was well, then he came up to her.
"If you want to go upstairs…" He suggested.
She smiled and took his arm. "Yes…"
She was a little bashful, and she didn't know why. But she had feeling that this was going to be a real moment in her life and she didn't want to rush it, or miss a thing.
As he opened the door, she went inside. And he locked the door this time. She turned to look at him and smiled.
He had coffee warming on the stove for her and she wondered when
he managed that.
She sat on the edge of the bed and waited until he handed her a cup.
"You know when I first saw these cups hanging on the wall, I wondered who shared them with you. It wasn't my business, but I wondered…" she glanced up at him shyly.
"No one has until now." He said in a low voice.
She sipped her coffee, "Then why do you have two?" She asked curiously.
"In case I didn't wash one, I would have another." He smiled.
"Oh," she smiled. He stood in front of her and bent to kiss her lips.
She sighed. He took the cup from her hands put it on the night table and pulled her up to him.
"You didn't want the coffee anyhow, did you?"
"No-o," she stared into his eyes. His eyes glittered into hers now. "Neither did I. I didn't want to rush you. I wanted you to relax." The lamp was turned down low, giving the room a golden glow about it.
"Do you realize what this all means?"
She nodded shyly, "I think I do…"
"What we're about to do, will never be accepted by the people of this town. Most people. But not to love is out of the question. I have weighed it in my mind, but my heart searches for yours. I did try not to love you. I tried hard. It didn't take."
His lips swooped down on hers taking them with a fire that quickly consumed her. She kissed him back, he reached to undo her hair that was pulled up. He took the combs out as he let down her golden hair, his fingers running through it. It came tumbling down in a solid ribbon of golden curls. He ran his fingers through it as his lips continued to assuage the ache between them. "Your hair, is so beautiful, curly and shining." He murmured moments later when he could breathe again.
She looked at his and suddenly her fingers combed through his hair. He stared into her eyes.
"I wanted you at the creek, both times, but I could not allow it. It wasn't the right time. I wanted you to trust me, care for me."
She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck, "I'm glad you didn't take me there. You gave me exactly what I needed and I fell a little more in love with you for it."
"A little more in love," he tried to laugh, "that's how I've felt about you every day since I've known you."