Dreaming of Christmas

by Dreaming of Christmas (retail) (epub)

  ‘Thanks for a wonderful evening, Max. I thought it was going to be awful, but then you came along.’

  ‘I had a great time, Lorna, and it’s all down to you.’ He hesitated. ‘Maybe we could do this again some time.’

  ‘I’d love that, Max. I really would.’

  Zoë saw her reach up and pull his face down until she could kiss him, chastely, on the cheeks. He beamed at her.

  ‘Could I call you tomorrow?’

  ‘I’ll be disappointed if you don’t. Goodnight, Max, and thanks again.’

  ‘Thank you, Lorna. Sleep tight.’

  Zoë was smiling to herself as Max stepped back into the lift and Lorna’s door closed. Maybe Lorna really had found her man. And the fact that she hadn’t hauled him into her room and ravaged him had to be a very positive sign.

  She was just about to get to her feet when, to her amazement, she heard the sound of yet another door. Natural curiosity made her stop and watch from her concealed position.

  It was Juliet’s door that had opened this time, and Zoë saw her emerge, also in her bathrobe. Presumably she too had forgotten about the presents. She smiled to herself and was about to get to her feet when she saw Juliet turn the other way and walk up the corridor, away from the lift and the lounge. Zoë hesitated, puzzled, wondering if her friend had lost her bearings. However, it soon emerged that there was nothing wrong with Juliet’s sense of direction. She went up to the last room on the right, Billy’s suite, and tapped softly on the door. It opened almost immediately, and Juliet disappeared inside, the door closing silently behind her.

  Zoë’s smile slipped from her face and the comfortable sense of amusement that had been built up by the little cameos she had observed disintegrated in a flash. She fell back to her knees, trying to come to terms with the ramifications of what she had just seen.

  Juliet and Billy!

  Suddenly the gold necklace made sense. Far from being naïve, Billy was revealed as the cheat he really was. Doubtless there had been other necklaces for other girls, and there would probably be more in the future. Poor Daniela. Married for barely a few months, and her husband already cheating on her. Alternatively, of course, Daniela might be happily involved with him in a ménage à trois. Either way, it was very distasteful. For a moment, Zoë found herself thinking about Ron and the swingers’ parties Lorna had mentioned, and she shuddered at the thought. At the same time, she felt a wave of sadness at the realisation that kind, generous, friendly Billy was no different from Grant. For a moment, she felt physically sick.

  And to make matters worse, the girl he had chosen for his infidelity tonight was none other than her best friend. It was so out of character for Juliet that Zoë even wondered if he had drugged her, before immediately dismissing the idea. After all, there had been no coercion involved in getting Juliet to walk up the corridor all by herself and knock on the door. She was clearly a willing partner in this adultery. This realisation only served to depress her further.

  Finally collecting herself, Zoë got up and made her way along to the lounge, where she added her presents to the hefty pile already lying around the base of the tree. Santa Claus had been busy and Bella was going to have her work cut out in the morning. Realising that it was already Christmas Day – but now feeling anything but Christmassy – she headed back to her room. In spite of her tiredness, it took her a good long while before she finally dropped off to sleep.

  Chapter 19

  Zoë woke up late on Christmas morning, but she still felt tired after a broken night. She looked at the time and saw that it was past nine. No doubt Bella had already been up for hours, opening presents. Somehow the idea of joining in with the celebrations didn’t appeal in the slightest, so she called room service and ordered breakfast in her room.

  As she ate her fruit salad and drank her cappuccino, she wondered what to do next. The one thing she was sure about was that she had to get Billy to take his bribe back – because that was no doubt what it was intended to be. Maybe she was being lined up as the next girl to knock at his door. Well, if that was his plan, he had another thing coming. In the end, although she really didn’t want to see him, she knew she had to speak to him alone before she could contemplate joining the other happy members of their group as they celebrated Christmas together. Consequently, after breakfast, she put on her skiing gear and went down to meet him in the lobby with a very heavy heart.

  She found him waiting for her with a bright, breezy smile on his face. Christmas carols were playing on the loudspeakers, and almost everybody she saw appeared to be wearing red and white Christmas hats. There were smiles all round. But not on her face.

  ‘Hi, Zoë, sleep well?’

  ‘No. Did you?’

  She saw surprise on his face at her tone, but she didn’t want to have a scene here in the middle of the hotel lobby, surrounded by people. She went out of the door and retrieved her skis from the rack where she had left them overnight, clipping herself into the bindings without comment. As soon as she heard the double click indicating that he too had put his skis on, she scooted off ahead of him across the garden towards the ski lift.

  She had every intention of getting onto a separate chair from him, but at the last moment, the lift man pushed him and a couple of other skiers on with her. Zoë at least had a solid barrier between her and Billy and was unable to speak to him, even if she had wanted to. She sat there listening to the young couple between them chatting about the presents they had given each other, while her fingers played with the necklace box in her jacket pocket.

  When they reached the top, she knew what she had to do. She skied to one side and stopped. It was a freezing morning, but there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. However, the same couldn’t be said for the way she felt.

  Billy skied up behind her and stopped alongside her.

  ‘Is something the matter, Zoë? What’s wrong?’

  He sounded worried and caring. The duplicity of it sickened her.

  ‘There’s a lot wrong, Billy, and you know damn well what it is. Anyway, let’s get this over with.’ She reached into her pocket for the jewellery box. ‘I’m surprised, and disappointed, at you. I thought you were different. It just shows how wrong you can be about people. Here. Here’s your present. I don’t want it. I don’t want any part of it. Is that clear?’

  She thrust the little box into his gloved hand and didn’t give him time to reply. Turning away, she sidestepped the few metres back up to the lift and, to the surprise of the lift attendant, climbed onto an empty chair and set off back down the hill. Halfway down, she glanced over her shoulder, but Billy wasn’t on the lift behind her and she felt a sense of relief. However, the thought crossed her mind that he might be skiing down to meet her at the bottom, so, when she got down there, she confused the other liftman by not getting off. She stayed on as the chair slowed and turned in a tight circle and other people queued up to climb on. She found herself sharing the lift with three young Austrian snowboarders, but she didn’t mind. Anybody but Billy – or Grant.

  At the top she looked about, but could see no trace of Billy. She didn’t feel like skiing, so she took off her skis, stuck them in the rack and went into the restaurant. It was still quiet at this time of the morning and she found a table to herself out on the terrace and ordered a coffee. The sun was already warm and the view was delightful, but she was so wrapped up in her thoughts, she barely noticed. In fact she was so distracted that she didn’t even see Juliet until she was standing right by the table.

  ‘Hi, Zo. Where were you this morning? I thought something had happened to you?’

  Zoë looked up. Juliet was smiling, but Zoë felt anything but smiley.

  ‘I just didn’t feel very sociable.’ Her tone was cold and she saw Juliet look surprised.

  ‘Can I join you?’ Juliet sounded hesitant.

  ‘It’s a free country.’

  ‘What’s the matter, Zo?’ Juliet sat down but kept staring at her, a look of acute concern on her face. Zoë dropped
her eyes to her coffee.

  ‘You tell me.’

  ‘Tell you what, Zo? You’re behaving very strangely. Zo, look at me. Are you all right? I’m worried about you. What’s wrong?’

  Zoë took a deep breath and looked up.

  ‘You want to know what’s wrong? Well, I’ll tell you what’s wrong, Jules. Last night I saw you going to join Billy in his suite. That’s what’s wrong.’

  ‘You saw what?’ Juliet looked stunned.

  ‘I saw you in your bathrobe knocking on Billy’s door, prior to spending the night with him. Or are you going to deny it?’

  There was no reply for a few moments and Zoë had time to finish her coffee. When Juliet finally spoke, her voice was muted and heavy with emotion.

  ‘Billy’s suite has got two bedrooms, Zo.’

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘It means I didn’t spend the night with Billy. All right?’

  Seeing stirrings of comprehension on Zoë’s face, Juliet continued.

  ‘I’ve been waiting for the best time to tell you, Zo. You know you thought I’d been looking happier lately? Well, there’s a reason for that. It’s taken me years, but I’ve finally worked out who I am – and who I want to be with.’

  ‘Are you telling me…?’ A light bulb spluttered into life inside Zoë’s head. Suddenly so much made sense. How could she have been so blind all these years? The fact that Juliet had never really had a boyfriend, her attitude to men in general, her tendency to be a bit shy, a bit of a loner, it all suddenly fell into place. Juliet was…

  ‘Yes, Zo. I didn’t spend the night with Billy. I spent the night with Danni. There, now you know. I’m gay, Zoë. I like girls. I finally worked it out at the age of thirty-two.’

  Zoë looked up and saw tears in her friend’s eyes. The implications of what she had just heard were still sinking in as she reached over the table and took both of Juliet’s hands in hers.

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me, Jules? I’m happy for you. Very happy for you, if that’s what you feel is right for you.’

  ‘I was going to talk to you, Zo, but you’ve been so preoccupied with all your problems, I thought I’d wait until you’d laid your demons to rest.’ Juliet glanced in the direction of the door and then, to Zoë’s surprise, stood up. ‘I texted Billy when I spotted you out here. I saw him down at the bottom of the lift. He’s really worried about you, Zo. He’s here now and I know he’s got something to say to you. I’ll leave you two alone. You and I can talk more later.’ She hesitated for a moment before adding, ‘And Zo, it’s all right about me and Danni. He knows.’

  He knows? Zoë’s head was spinning so much by now that she barely registered Juliet’s departure and the arrival of Billy.

  ‘Zoë, can I sit down? Please?’ He sounded very hesitant.

  ‘Yes, yes, of course.’ Her mind and her emotions were still in a whirl.

  ‘I brought some schnapps. I thought we could both do with one.’ He set the two shot glasses of colourless liquor on the table and pushed one across towards her.

  ‘Here, try not to spill it.’ She could hear the nervousness in his voice. ‘Listen, Zoë, we need to talk.’

  For a moment, Zoë remembered hearing these exact same words from Grant a year ago, and looked up in alarm. This time, she saw a smile – a nervous smile, but a smile all the same.

  ‘I owe you an apology and an explanation, Zo.’

  ‘You owe me an apology? Billy, I’m the one who should be apologising. I don’t know what to say. I’ve behaved awfully, I’ve misjudged you. Talk about jumping to the wrong conclusions… I’ve…’

  His hand reached across the table and caught hold of hers, squeezing it gently.

  ‘Shh, Zoë, it’s all right. Honestly. Just listen, will you?’ Their eyes met for a moment and she saw that he was looking anything but confident and self-assured.

  ‘Zoë, it’s like this. You know I told you there was only a thin veneer over the top of the old Billy? Well, I wasn’t joking.’ He reached for his shot glass and took a mouthful of schnapps. ‘There’s something I have to tell you. It’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for ten, eleven years, but I never had the nerve. You see, it’s quite simple really – I love you, Zoë.’

  ‘You love me?’

  ‘Heart and soul. I have done ever since I first saw you – and in case you don’t remember, it was a hot September afternoon. I was carting my bags up the stairs at number 23 and you appeared and offered to help. You were wearing a short denim skirt and a red tank top, and I thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world. I still do.’

  ‘But Billy…’ Zoë felt like a freshly landed fish, flapping about, gasping for air.

  ‘But you had Grant, so I said nothing. Of course, I know you would never have considered me. Even I recognise what a pathetic specimen I was back then. Maybe you think I still am, even though I’ve tried my hardest to change.’

  He swallowed the rest of his schnapps and Zoë absently pushed her own glass across the table to him.

  ‘Here, take mine, Billy. I’m fine.’ Of course, she was anything but fine. Here she was, listening to what sounded like a sincere outpouring of love from a married man – a married man whose wife had spent the night with another woman. What on earth…?

  ‘Thanks, Zo. Anyway, back in the summer I heard that you and Grant had split up and I knew I owed it to myself to tell you how I felt about you, even if you turned me down. I know I should just have jumped on a plane and come to London to see you.’ His eyes met hers for a moment and she saw him attempt to smile. ‘I actually got as far as Heathrow one day last August, but I lost my nerve and climbed straight back on another plane again. Then I hit on this plan.’

  ‘The plan being to invite us all over here for Christmas? But Billy, your wife, Daniela…?’ Zoë was floundering again.

  ‘She’s not my wife, Zoë. She really is my personal trainer. We’ve been working together for almost two years now and I probably know Danni better than any other girl. She told me very early on that she preferred girls – I suppose in her line of work she often finds guys hitting on her. That was fine with me because there was… is only one woman in the world for me.’

  He took a sip of Zoë’s schnapps.

  ‘With her help, I hatched up the plan. We’d pretend to be married. There are two bedrooms and two bathrooms in the suite, so she could be quite independent. I’d get you all over here – there’s safety in numbers – and then, when I saw whether you and I were getting on well together, I’d come clean and explain. I’ve been trying to summon up the courage to tell you for a couple of days now, but I always chickened out at the last minute.’

  ‘But why pretend to be married?’

  ‘To take the pressure off – off both of us. You’re a very bright girl and I knew I’d be unable to hide my attraction for you. I didn’t want to frighten you off until we’d had a chance to talk. We needed to get to know each other again, to rekindle our friendship. If you thought I was just a predatory rich boy on the prowl, you wouldn’t have come near me.’ He managed a little smile. ‘As I’ve been finding out over the last few years, some girls like that kind of thing, but you’re far too sensible – and principled.’

  The pieces were slowly starting to fall into place in Zoë’s head. But he hadn’t finished.

  ‘I thought I’d ballsed the whole thing up when Grant agreed to come too. You see, I waited until you’d said yes before contacting him, making it clear that you’d be here and giving him a let-out, saying I quite understood if he preferred not to come. But then, of course, he said yes all the same. And it was blindingly obvious from the moment he arrived that he’d come with the intention of trying to get you back. All this week I’ve been waiting anxiously to discover that my brilliant plan had just backfired in my face, but you really have dumped him now, haven’t you?’

  ‘Grant and I are history. That’s absolutely definite.’ She saw a look of relief on Billy’s face. ‘I just don’t know wh
at to say…’

  But then she remembered.

  ‘Listen, Billy, I’ve got some serious explaining to do as well. I made the mistake of telling a colleague at work where I was spending Christmas, and with whom. When my editor got wind that I was coming over here to see you, he did his best to bully me into writing an article for the magazine about you, the reclusive billionaire. I’ve been like a cat on a hot tin roof all week, wondering how and when I should speak to you about it, but I didn’t have the nerve. I almost told you up at the castle that marvellous morning, but like you, I chickened out. Anyway, just so you know, I sent him an email two days ago, telling him I wasn’t going to do it, and that’s why he sent that bloody photographer last night.’

  ‘Lorna told me all about her mistake in inviting him to the ball. It wasn’t her fault and I told her so. How was she to know he had a hidden agenda? I didn’t realise you were involved, though.’

  ‘I wasn’t. In fact, if she hadn’t called security, I would have done. Apparently I’m likely to lose my job as a result of all this, but I knew I couldn’t betray your trust.’

  ‘I wouldn’t worry about that. It doesn’t sound like a very nice company to work for anyway.’ He swallowed the last of the schnapps and stood up so suddenly, he startled her, and she overturned her coffee cup – fortunately already empty. He reached into his pocket and retrieved the box with the gold necklace and laid it on the table.

  ‘I hope you will accept my little gift now. I’d really like you to. Anyway, I’ve said what I’ve been waiting years to say. If you feel like thinking about it, I’d be very, very happy. Take your time. Take as long as you like. I’ll wait… another ten years if I have to.’

  Before she could make any kind of response, he turned, hurried back into the cafe and disappeared from sight. Zoë sat blankly, desperately trying to process everything she had heard that morning. She felt tears stinging in the corners of her eyes, but she didn’t really know why.