Apprehension and Desire
Page 26
“I cannot tell you; it is private.”
“Women.” Darcy muttered, as he got out of the bed, looking for his trousers.
She stepped behind him. “Do not be angry.”
“I am not, it is just...” He turned to her, buttoning his flap. “I can hardly believe that I nearly lost you because I supposedly separated those two, and now she refuses him.”
“Jane is not a person to take such things lightly,” Elizabeth spoke with feeling. “I know that she had given much thought and consideration to the matter before she made her decision. She would never harm anyone or toy with someone’s feelings, but it does not mean that she should allow the others to hurt her.”
Darcy stared at her incredibly, trying to grip her meaning. “Are you saying that Bingley would hurt her?”
She puffed an exasperated air. “I did not say that... but it is all much more complicated than you may think.”
He waved his arms in the gesture of surrender, before strolling to the fireplace. He added a log to the dying fire and sat in his favourite armchair.
Elizabeth quickly invited herself onto his lap.
His arms went around her automatically. “I suppose your mother is not delighted with such a turn of events.”
“Jane is very cautious writing about Mama’s reaction, but you are right, our mother is not very pleased.”
He snorted. “Not very pleased... I can imagine that,” he murmured dryly.
She snuggled closer. “I was thinking ... perhaps we could invite Jane here.” Before he managed to answer, she was talking again. “I remember how hard it was to deal with Mama’s displeasure after I rejected Mr. Collins.”
“You cannot compare those two situations,” he pointed out reasonably. “There is a vast difference between your saying no to that fool Collins and your sister rejecting Bingley.”
“Mr. Collins was a perfectly eligible match for me, according to Mama.”
He gave her a disgusted look. “Elizabeth, please, do not even suggest that before dinner. It makes me sick to my stomach, thinking you could accept him or even imagining him proposing to you.”
She buried her face into his neck, her hand stroking his flat stomach. “Jane will not be any trouble. Please. May I write the letter with the invitation?”
He sighed. “I shall send the carriage to Hertfordshire.”
“Thank you!” She kissed him on the lips. “You are too good.”
He had to smile at her enthusiasm. A small prize for making her happy. “Promise me one thing only,” he spoke gravely, maintaining her gaze. “You will never, ever, involve me in any matchmaking schemes in the future.”
Chapter Twenty- Four
Elizabeth expected the country house in which Colonel Fitzwilliam’s brother lived with the mother of his child to be rather small, similar in size to the average parsonage. William had referred to it as a modest one several times. What she saw though, looking curiously through the carriage’s window, was a manor slightly bigger than Longbourn. She was again struck with the realization of how wealthy her husband’s family was and how their perspective on such matters differed from hers.
The carriage stopped in front of the one storey, grey stone building. Darcy got out first, handing down first Georgiana and then his wife.
Although the December day was cold, with a touch of frost on the ground, Edward Fitzwilliam, Viscount Cranborne, awaited his guests in front of the house without proper outer wear.
“Welcome. At last! We have been waiting since midday,” he cried as he shook hands with Darcy, and they exchanged a short, manly hug. “We began to worry that something must have delayed you.”
“There was a fallen log on the road just outside Pemberley. We needed to stop to take care of it,” Darcy explained.
“A fallen log?” Edward questioned, his eyebrows raised. “This time of the year?” He frowned. “I do not like the sound of that. It is very unusual.”
Darcy nodded, understanding the other man’s point without further explanation. “My first thought also was that some highwaymen wanted to set the trap, but nothing like that happened. The spot was quiet and deserted as we removed the obstacle.”
“Nevertheless, I will give you some additional people for your return.”
“I would appreciate it, cousin.” Darcy’s voice was grateful. “My men are armed, but one can never take enough precaution when travelling with his family.” He looked at Elizabeth and Georgiana, who stood, huddled at his side, hands hidden in identical fur muffs, waiting patiently to be acknowledged.
Edward’s eyes spotted the women as well. “Georgiana, you are an adult, young lady!” he exclaimed, “Where is that little girl I remember?”
Georgiana answered his enquiry with a shy smile.
“How tall you are exactly?” Edward wanted to know.
“Almost five feet and eight inches.”
“Will you be as tall as your brother then?” he teased.
Georgiana shook her head, her expression distressed. “I hope not. I feel that I am already too tall for a lady.”
“I would wish to be tall as you are, dear.” Elizabeth mentioned kindly. “Imagine being as short as I and having such a tall husband. We must present quite an odd picture as we stand close together.”
“I believe that we are very well suited,” Darcy spoke grumpily, glaring at her.
Edward laughed as he glanced at his cousin. “No one dares to doubt that, Darcy.” His eyes moved to Elizabeth. “It is a great pleasure to meet you at last, Mrs. Darcy. I have heard so much about you.” he assured with a wide smile.
Elizabeth curtseyed. “Surely from Colonel Fitzwilliam,” she guessed, smiling back. This gentleman, looking like an older version of Colonel Fitzwilliam, did not give the impression of a sad, broken with life man, as she had imagined him to be.
“Not only, Mrs. Darcy, not only.” He shook his head, his eyes twinkling. “But let us go into the house.” He made a wide, inviting gesture with his arm. “My Lady will be displeased with me for keeping you in the cold for so long. She could not greet you here herself because the baby is fussy today.”
Once in the spacious foyer, the Darcys undressed, servants awaiting to take their warm outer clothes. At first, Elizabeth did not notice an elegant young woman, standing on the first steps of the staircase, with a robust looking child in her arms.
She felt Darcy touching her arm, and only then she glanced in the direction where their host strolled.
Her first thought was that she was seeing the illusion.
“Amy,” she whispered, staring with wide eyes at the woman. “Amy Parker, is that you?”
“Lizzy.” the pretty blonde smiled. “You did not expect me here, did you?”
Elizabeth walked slowly to the staircase. The other woman handed the baby into his father’s arms and stepped closer as well.
Edward Fitzwilliam did not seem surprised, but Georgiana and Darcy’s expression were puzzled, as they looked at the two women laughing, talking simultaneously, and holding hands.
“Let us go to the drawing room, Darcy.” Edward suggested, turning to his cousins. “I believe that our ladies require some time alone.”
Darcy frowned. “They know each other?”
Edward nodded. “From their earliest years, I understand.”
Darcy looked at his wife and the other woman who were now entirely oblivious to the others. “Why did you not tell me?”
“Amy wanted it to be a surprise.” Edward patted his son’s back. The baby was salivating steadily on the fine cloth of his father’s light brown coat, his round, blue eyes fixed on his mother over Edward’s shoulder. “Come, cousin, let us give them some privacy. I am sure that Georgiana would like some warm tea, or perhaps a hot chocolate, after travelling twenty miles on such a cold day.”
They were about to enter the room to the right when the baby uttered an indignant, dramatic cry, twisting in his father’s arms, his plump hands reaching in the direction of the stairs.
“He is so needy today,” she explained, as she rocked the boy and kissed his bald head. “He is teething, poor dear.”
She turned the boy to the company, and he stared for a moment at the faces of three strangers, of whom two, Georgiana and Elizabeth, smiled and cooed at him in soft voices, reaching to touch his perfect little fingers and tiny knit-booted foot. A mild scowl marked Darcy’s countenance as he looked at the red, swollen little face. The baby blinked at the tall, dark man, before erupting into a new cry, his mouth wide open, presenting a single, half grown upper tooth.
Elizabeth elbowed her husband’s not so gently. “You are scaring the baby. Smile at him.”
Darcy complied instantly, his face stretching into a toothy grin.
The boy chocked back his cry for a second at this display of merriness on Darcy’s part, before hiding his face into his mother’s neck, new sobs shaking him.
Darcy, perhaps even more scared than the boy, looked helplessly from his cousin to Elizabeth, and later to the mother of the child.
“He is simply tired.” Amy tried to calm the baby. “He had little sleep last night because of his emerging teeth.”
“You should not take this personally, Darcy.” Edward assured. “I was the same with the baby at the beginning. You will quickly learn to interact with the little ones when you have your own.”
***
Georgiana, Elizabeth and Amy spent the lovely afternoon in each other’s company, sitting by the fire in the drawing room. The two older ladies recalled their childhood memories and acquainted Georgiana with them. The baby allowed himself to be calmed down, but he refused to be taken away by his nanny. The boy clung to Amy the entire time and did not welcome being held by anyone else. It did not take long, however, till he dozed off in his mother’s embrace, clearly out of sheer exhaustion, the knowing smell coming from his nappy. He was carried upstairs by his father.
Darcy seemed to be quite astonished with such an attitude, such a small child staying among adults in the drawing room, instead of being closed up in the nursery. He was even more taken aback with his cousin’s behaviour, who left the guests to take care of his son.
The early dinner passed in a pleasant atmosphere and without interruptions. Georgiana was asked to play the pianoforte. Close to the end of the song, the maid entered, whispering something quietly to the mistress of the house.
“Excuse me.” Amy stood up when Georgiana finished. “I must see to little James.”
Elizabeth rose instantly. “May I accompany you?” she asked.
“Of course.” Amy nodded and looked over at Georgiana. “Miss Darcy, would you care to join us?”
Georgiana nodded shyly, leaving her place behind the instrument.
The cousins were left alone, Darcy a bit disoriented.
Edward laughed. “You seem rather surprised, cousin.”
“Well, yes.” Darcy said dryly, his eyebrow raised as he stared pointedly at the stain on the other man’s coat, left earlier by the baby. “Your son seems to be the centre of attention in here.”
“You do not approve of that?”
“I am not sure,” Darcy answered sincerely. “I am used to the situation when children are taken care of quietly, and they spend the day with nannies in the nursery. It was like that with Georgiana.”
“I do not want to bring up sad memories, but perhaps had your mother lived, it would have been different.” Edward suggested.
Darcy gave him a thoughtful look, “Perhaps. Father was not much of a parent after our mother died. It was especially unfair towards Georgiana. He gave an impression as if he could not even bear to look at his daughter.”
“Do you blame him?”
“Once I did. However, now when I have Elizabeth, I understand him better.” he hesitated, “I cannot imagine how I could manage to live, face every day, would she ever be taken away from me.”
“Let us not return to the old, sad times.” Edward said with energy. “Come to the library. I have excellent brandy and cigars.”
The men walked to the small, but comfortably furnished, room full of books, some of them still waiting to be arranged on the shelves. Darcy refused the cigar but accepted a glass of drink.
“I have not yet congratulated you personally on the birth of your son,” Darcy noted as they sank into the armchairs in front of the fire.
Pride and joy shone in Edward’s eyes. “Thank you, Darcy.”
Darcy lifted his glass. “A fine boy.”
“The finest in the world,” Edward agreed with a grin, and they clinked their glasses.
Darcy smiled at the other man’s enthusiasm. “I will not argue that.” He paused for a moment, as if trying to formulate the right words. “I know it must be a difficult matter for you to discuss, but have you thought about his future? I am asking because perhaps I could help in some way.”
Edward’s expression darkened, a deep line appearing between his eyebrows. “I do think about it, every single day, believe me,” he acknowledged with a heavy sigh. “Unfortunately, though James has our name, financially his future is secure, and he will be brought up as a gentleman, he has no right to Matlock and the title.”
“What about the earl? Is he reconciled?”
Edward’s face drew in a reluctant smile. “We are invited to spend Christmas at Matlock.”
“Good for you!” Darcy cheered.
“I know that I owe it to my mother, but I am glad that father is ready to meet his grandson. I was rather surprised that they attended your wedding, by the way. No matter how charming your wife is, I doubt that she was someone my father would wish for his only nephew.”
“I was surprised as well,” Darcy agreed. “When I gave more thought to it, I assumed that it was the uncle’s way to show that they wanted to rehabilitate for everything bad that happened in the recent years, your marriage included.”
Edward nodded.“Possibly. They wanted to prove that they were more tolerant than everyone thought they were, perhaps to show as well that they were not like Aunt Catherine.”
“Yes, that is possible. Your father must feel guilty that he pushed you into that marriage.” Darcy stared at the fire. “Have you heard from Lady Cranborne?”
“Lady!” Edward snorted, bolting from his place. “Lady is the last thing that woman should be called.” He raked his hand through his hair. “But, yes, I have heard from her brother. She is in good health, he writes. I do not know how it is possible. She should have died from venereal disease ten times by now. ”
“What about divorce?” Darcy prompted. “Did you give consideration to that? It is costly, but in these circumstances… You should not have any trouble, considering her infidelity. ”
Edward shook his head. “Not that easy, I am afraid... One of her brothers is a minister in the government now... and they will try everything not to reveal their sister’s past and her special interests. Besides, the scandal would kill my father.. I do not know what to do.”
“Perhaps when he sees the boy, uncle will change his mind on this matter.” Darcy suggested.
“You think? I hope so.” Edward gulped the last drop of his brandy.
Darcy played with the glass in his hands. “Are you not afraid that your wife will become with child?”
“She?” Edward laughed bitterly, giving him an incredible look. “She pretended to be pure and untouched till the wedding night, but I am sure she had got rid of several children before her twentieth birthday. I am certain that she cannot conceive anymore.”
“That is good. At least you will not be put in a situation when you give your name to someone’s else child.”
“I would not give my name anyway.” Edward cried angrily. “I do not intend to be a fool any more like I once was. I am convinced that even if something like that happens, she will get rid of it like all the others.”
Darcy shuddered. “Horrible.”
Edward shrugged. “I do not even give her a second thought now that I have Amy and my son. I am happy.”
“There must be some way...,” Darcy’s voice traced, his expression thoughtful. “My opinion is that you should discuss your situation with a good, trusted lawyer, and the, uncle of course, now when he is willing to see his grandson. There must be a way to make the things as they should be, the earldom and the title for your first born.”
“Could it be done?” Edward asked, new hope burning in his eyes.
“I do not know. Perhaps there is some solution that we are currently not aware of .”
The older man sighed. “It is my dearest wish. I will follow your advice, cousin. Amy and the baby deserve the best.”
***
“Does it hurt?” Georgiana asked in awe, as she observed James Fitzwilliam pulling greedily at his mother’s breast.
“Not really, sometimes it may be a bit uncomfortable,” Amy answered, looking down at the suckling baby.
Elizabeth was equally fascinated as Georgiana. “Do you not have a nursemaid?”
“I have one now, but just before the birth, we were forced to send away the woman that we initially found for this role because she turned out to be ... unreliable.” A shadow crossed Amy’s face for a moment, but it was enough that she looked down at the baby and her face smoothed in angelic smile. “When Jamie was born, we had no one, so naturally I started to nurse him on my own. Later Lady Matlock was so kind to send Mrs. Black to us, and she proved to be excellent, but for the first month or so, Jamie had only me. I still nurse him, though not during the nights. Edward insists upon it so I do not have my sleep interrupted.”
“That is rather usual,” Elizabeth said cautiously.
“I know, but I really do not care what the society thinks about it. It is a wonderful feeling, a great bonding with your child. I have heard as well that women who nurse do not fall with child again so soon. Do not think that I do not want more children.” Amy assured them quickly, “But I want to enjoy Jamie alone for a little while, before thinking about another one.”
The boy’s eyelids dropped, but even in his sleep, his tiny mouth was moving, still pulling. Very gently, Amy pulled him from her breasts and put him on her shoulder, patting his back gently. After a minute, the baby spit up on the white cloth that covered his mother’s shoulder and pronounced a deep, happy sigh in his sleep.