A State of Grace

by Traci DePree

  Marissa held Patricia’s hand as Kate and a heavyset black nurse waited for mother and daughter to finish their conversation.

  “I’ll just be glad to have you home and in one piece,” Patricia said. She leaned over to kiss her daughter’s forehead, despite the green mask that covered her mouth.

  “I love you, Mom,” Marissa said. She put her arms around Patricia.

  “I love you too, honey.” They stayed like that for a few minutes until the nurse cleared her throat. Patricia sighed and pulled back. The nurse lifted a dark brow and said to Marissa, “All ready, missy?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Marissa answered as the nurse grabbed hold of the gurney and wheeled her through the swinging doors marked ICU.

  Patricia stared after her for a long moment, then turned to Kate.

  “She’s going to be fine,” Kate said, hoping her words sounded more reassuring than she felt. The very real possibility that the intense chemotherapy and radiation could kill Marissa loomed as a shadow over them.

  They walked toward the ICU waiting room down the hall. Inside, several Faith Briar members were already holding vigil, among them Eli Weston and Paul.

  LuAnne Matthews came over with a steaming cup of coffee in her hands. She smiled and held the cup out to Patricia, who took it and sipped gingerly at the hot liquid.

  Paul was seated in one of the orange vinyl chairs next to a blond-haired man whom Kate had never seen before. Paul stood when Kate and Patricia entered and made his way to them. “How is she?” he asked.

  “Braver than I am,” Patricia said with a laugh. “But that doesn’t take much!”

  The tall blond man who’d come up with Paul reached a hand toward Patricia. “I’m happy to meet you,” he began.

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” Paul said. “Kate, Patricia...this is Jack Wilson’s brother, Carl.”

  Patricia’s eyes focused on him, and she shook his hand. “I can’t tell you how much we appreciate your brother’s sacrifice,” she said.

  Carl’s face glowed at her words, and he shrugged. “Jack wanted to be here too, but he had work to finish up before...” His voice trailed off. “When he found out it was Marissa...Well, to be honest, he had the biggest crush on her in high school.”

  “Well, nonetheless,” Patricia went on, “we’re grateful.”

  They took their seats for what felt like an eternity, taking turns to get up and pace the hall or bring more coffees from the vending machine.

  Kate glanced at Patricia, who was fidgeting with her hands. She watched her pick up a magazine and page through it, though given the quick rate at which she flipped the pages, Kate was sure she wasn’t reading.

  “You okay?” Kate finally asked.

  Patricia sighed. “I’m a wreck.” She smiled despite her statement. Paul looked up and smiled back. “I wish Ray were here,” Patricia said, looking at Kate. “That’s what I keep thinking. He would have wanted to be here for this...for his daughter. Because, you know, he really was Marissa’s father in so many ways.”

  Kate squeezed her hand. “Of course he was.”

  Patricia turned slightly to face Kate. “You’ve been...the best friend I’ve ever had, other than him. You’ve shown me so much. I was wrong before...” She gazed at the large clock on the wall near the door, then back at Kate. “I’m glad you didn’t give up on me.”

  “That’s what friends do,” Kate said. “We nag each other.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  An hour later, a doctor appeared at the waiting room door. He was a small man with straight white teeth and a spark in his green eyes. He wore scrubs and a surgical mask, which he pulled from his face as he started to talk. Everyone in the room quieted to hear what he had to say. Patricia stood, as did Kate.

  “She’s sedated now, and we’ve started the chemotherapy,” he said. “She’s doing well, but we’ll need to keep an eye on her counts.” His gaze turned to Patricia. “She can’t have visitors, as she’s at major risk for infection, and she has no ability to fight it right now.”

  Patricia nodded her understanding.

  “There won’t be much you can do around here,” the doctor went on, looking around the room. “I suggest you all go home and get some rest. It’s going to be a long haul.”

  TWO DAYS PASSED, and Marissa was pronounced ready for the transplant. Kate drove to Chattanooga as soon as church was over, and made it in time to see Marissa before the transplant. After scrubbing and gowning, she walked into the gray room where Patricia had kept vigil.

  Kate had never seen a living person look more deathlike. Marissa had no color in her face, and her eyes were dull and filmy.

  Patricia moved to her bedside, and the girl did her best to smile. “I don’t feel so good, Mom.” By her tone, she’d said it as a joke, but Patricia merely sat, stroking her cheek. Kate took a seat in the padded chair by the window.

  “The hard part is over,” Patricia assured her. “At least that’s what the doctor says.”

  “I don’t think I could handle much harder,” Marissa said. Then she breathed as if the effort of speaking had taxed her energy.

  “Is Jack in surgery?” she finally asked.

  Patricia nodded. “He went in about half an hour ago. The doctor says it’ll only be an hour so...” Her words fell away.

  There wasn’t anything else for them to say, so Kate began to pray. She asked for God’s protection over Jack and Marissa, and she asked that Marissa’s body would accept the marrow and begin to heal. She prayed for patience and trust for those who could only sit and wait, and she asked that God’s grace and peace would cover them all. When she finished, Marissa smiled. Then they sat in silence. The March day was warm. The sun shone through the miniblinds, warming the room with its cheer.

  Forty-five minutes later, the chaplain came in with the doctor and a nurse carrying the life-giving marrow in a plastic bag. The chaplain said a prayer over Marissa, then the nurse attached the bag to the Hickman catheter in Marissa’s chest. The marrow would be infused into her body over the next four to six hours.

  The doctor placed a hand on Marissa’s shoulder and said, “You’ll be feeling good in no time.” Then he winked at her, and she smiled.

  Kate felt like crying at the relief that flooded her. “Is Jack doing okay?” she asked the doctor.

  “It’ll take him awhile to come out of anesthesia, but he did great.” He smiled. “He’ll be here a couple days, so you’ll get to see him, I’m sure.”

  Relieved, Kate let out a deep breath. She hadn’t realized she’d been holding it.

  THE LIGHTS IN THE ROOM were dim, with only side lights creating ambience. Marissa had fallen asleep, as had Patricia, no doubt from the tension of the day. Kate was resting in a side chair near the window as the sun set. Marissa was still attached to a heart-and-blood-pressure monitor, though the IV had finished doing its job.

  Her skin had already begun to take on a pinkish tone. Kate found herself staring at the girl. She really was a miracle.

  “Hey,” Marissa said groggily as she opened her eyes.

  Kate moved alongside her. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m ok,” Marissa said, smiling weakly.

  Patricia made a small noise, then lifted her head and stretched. When she saw that Marissa was awake, she quickly got up and moved to the other side of the bed to hold her daughter’s hand. She gazed at Marissa with a deep tenderness. “Look at you,” she said. “You’re going to be okay.”

  Kate had a sudden urge to talk to her own children and tell them how very much she loved them.

  THE NEXT DAY when Kate came to visit, Marissa was talking to Patricia about her future, when to pick up her schooling again and if she should stay in physical therapy or switch to something a little less demanding. Yet, she reasoned, once she was fully recovered, that wouldn’t be an issue.

  Her mother was clearly grinning at her through her mask, judging by the way her eyes were crinkling.

  “What are you smiling at?” Marissa compla
ined.

  “You’re certainly feeling better!” Patricia said. “It’s only been a day.”

  “Why, yes I am, ma’am!” She gave her mother such a cheesy grin that they both broke out in laughter. The sound was music to Kate’s ears.

  “Maybe I could start back to school when Valerie transfers to Chattanooga.” Marissa said. “We could go together.”

  “If Valerie comes,” Patricia reminded her.

  A knock sounded, and Kate recognized the blond man they’d met in the ICU waiting room. He wheeled in a younger man with dark hair and striking dark eyes. Both men wore surgical gowns and masks.

  “Hello...” Marissa said.

  The younger man’s head was hanging down, so Marissa lowered her own as if that would help her make eye contact with him. He awkwardly flicked his hair back out of his eyes and cleared his throat.

  Sensing his discomfort, Patricia was instantly on her feet, crossing the room to meet the younger brother. “You must be Jack,” she said.

  “Yes, I am,” he said.

  “Jack Wilson? I haven’t seen you in a long time,” Marissa said. He lifted the mask from his face for her to get a better look at him. She blushed and touched a hand to her head scarf. “Wow...You’ve...grown up!”

  “So have you,” Jack said. His smile was shy. He was an attractive man, his dark features a distinct contrast to his towheaded brother. But he was definitely the kind of man a young woman would look twice at. “Are you feeling okay?” he asked, his gaze firmly on Marissa.

  “Thanks to you, I feel like a new woman.” She shifted toward the edge of the bed as if to get down, then when her mother shook her head at her, sat back against her pillows.

  “Jack, I’m so glad you came to see me. I wanted to say thank you and tell you how much all of this means to me and my family.”

  Jack grinned sheepishly and said, “When I heard that you were sick, I couldn’t stay home...” His tentative gaze met hers. “They’re discharging me tomorrow,” he continued. “Though they’re telling me I can’t do much for a week or so.”

  “They want to make sure he doesn’t start bleeding,” Carl interjected.

  “Where did they...?” Marissa began to ask, then dropped the question, obviously embarrassed.

  “From my hip.” Jack leaned forward a bit and pointed to the ice pack that was wedged between him and the wheelchair.

  “Is it uncomfortable?”

  Jack shrugged. “Naw.”

  “I’m sorry you’re leaving so soon...” Marissa said. “I hoped we could...catch up.”

  “Well, would you mind if I came to visit? Once you’re feeling better, I mean?” He laughed uncomfortably. “Gotta make sure my marrow is doing okay.”

  “Definitely,” she said with a grin.

  HOME HAD NEVER LOOKED more beautiful than it did the day Marissa came home from the hospital. For three weeks she’d been in reverse isolation in the ICU. And when the marrow began to produce blood cells on its own, she’d moved to a “transplant house” near the hospital where she’d been close enough for regular checkups and frequent monitoring for four more weeks. The danger now lay in the possibility of rejection, though the doctors seemed pleased with her progress.

  With each day she became more and more her old self, regaining her strength as well as some of her hair. Kate and Patricia had driven to Chattanooga together to bring Marissa home. The leaves were greenish silver on the aspens in the Harrises’ front yard, and the grass was a lush coat. The late April winds blew gently across Kate’s cheeks as she came around the passenger’s side of Patricia’s Mercedes to open the door for Marissa.

  “I don’t need help, you know,” Marissa scolded with a teasing glint in her eye, though the rest of her face was hidden by a surgical mask.

  “I can help if I want to,” Kate defended.

  Marissa gasped in joy and pointed to a banner over the front door that read “Welcome Home, Marissa.”

  “Did you put that up?” She smiled at Kate.

  “I didn’t have a thing to do with that.” Kate smirked.

  “Are you two going to stop that banter and get in the house?” Patricia scolded.

  “Oh, all right.” Marissa grinned.

  They moved toward the house, and Kate could hear the sound of voices inside. “Something’s going on,” Marissa said. Her eyes were alight with expectation. Then the door mysteriously opened, and a chorus of voices shouted, “Welcome home!”

  The girl squealed in delight. “You guys!”

  Just inside the door were Valerie, Mary, Paul Hanlon, and Eli Weston, though Kate could tell there were more people in the back. The open kitchen was filled with flowers and helium balloons in a multitude of colors and shapes.

  “This looks amazing,” Marissa said. She leaned over to sniff a bouquet of red roses with delicate white baby’s breath tucked between the stems. The card read “Get well soon.—Jack.”

  “I love roses,” she whispered. Her gaze traveled to all those gathered around. Even Renee Lambert and Livvy Jenner were there. “You all...Thank you. I feel like I’m on one of those celebrity cruises!”

  “The ladies even cleaned the house for us,” Patricia said. Then she gestured to the lineup of foodstuffs that covered the counter. “And we have enough food for several parties.”

  “We’re going to get spoiled really fast,” Marissa said.

  The girl’s face was bright with joy. Kate glanced at Patricia, who was grinning at her daughter, and sent up a prayer of gratitude for all that God had accomplished in this woman’s life. Sure, Kate had had some part in that, but it was God who had done the work. On her own, Kate would still be looking at a slammed door.

  Paul stepped forward, and everyone hushed. “Marissa,” he began, “we want you to know that we’re all thrilled that you’re doing so well. And we’re still here for you, no matter what. We believe that this homecoming is simply the first step toward a long and healthy life.”

  The group applauded in agreement.

  “I feel good enough to run a marathon,” Marissa said.

  Valerie was the next to speak. She stepped forward and gazed at her newfound sister. “I’m glad to have found you.” Her eyes were locked with Marissa’s. “You’re a great person. Someone told me I’d think that.” She glanced at Kate and winked. “I’m grateful for the opportunity to find out for myself just how amazing you are.”

  “Okay, now,” LuAnne Matthews piped up. “This girl needs her rest, and we’re keeping her from it.” Her green eyes sparkled, and Marissa smiled at the woman she had recently learned was her great-aunt.

  “You’re all going to leave me?” Marissa whined.

  LuAnne bent to kiss her on the forehead. “We’ll be back, missy. Don’t worry, and don’t overdo it.” Then she grabbed Renee Lambert’s hand. “Come on, Renee.”

  “LuAnne Matthews, get your paws off me!” Renee pulled her hand back and batted at LuAnne with the other. Then she straightened and moved with a dignified air to Marissa. “I’m pleased that you’re home and well, dear,” she said. Kisses whined from her designer bag, and she petted his head. “Would you like to hold Kisses?”

  Marissa shook her head. “Thanks, but I guess I am feeling a bit tired.”

  Others began to file out, offering their good wishes and promising to return in the coming weeks.

  When Paul and Kate finally made it home, a wave of relief swept over her. She closed her eyes and reveled in the sensation.

  “Are you okay?” Paul asked.

  “I’m fine.”

  He reached an arm around her waist and held her close. She leaned into him, feeling his strength seep into her being.

  “I didn’t realize how much this was taking out of me,” she confessed.

  “I did,” Paul said. “But that’s who you are, Kate Hanlon. It’s the reason I married you.”

  Kate lifted her face and kissed her husband.

  KATE HAD FINISHED the surprise for the church during Marissa’s recovery, but she
’d put off unveiling it until Patricia and Marissa could be there for the event.

  Kate spent the week leading up to the unveiling working on various projects she’d started. Getting back into glasswork had made her realize that this hobby she so enjoyed was something she might like to spend more of her time doing. It gave her flexibility to do whatever she needed to do—like help a widow find her long-lost daughter—yet it was something she could always come back to without a boss’s expectations of a certain number of hours per week. She toyed with the idea. Perhaps she could start with a Web site. Her son-in-law, John, was a genius at all things connected to the Internet. She was sure he’d be willing to make a site for her. She could post photos of pieces she’d created in the past, and if an order came in, she could simply duplicate that art until she had time to come up with some new designs. She also decided to talk to a few of the businesses in town to see if they’d consider selling her pieces as well. As she put the finishing touches on a sun catcher, Kate realized that maybe the move to Copper Mill was a chance to start over in many ways.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  The next Sunday, the church was filled to capacity. Spring’s warmth filled the sanctuary as did bouquets of lilacs, their scent permeating the warm air of the buzzing sanctuary.

  Patricia was there with Marissa, Valerie, and Mary, sitting near the front. Even the Wilson brothers came.

  In the front pew, Kate felt a flutter of nerves as she sang the first hymn of the service. Paul’s rich tenor voice led the congregation in “Crown Him with Many Crowns.” It was one of Kate’s favorite hymns. When she sang it, she envisioned that final day when all the people of the world would be gathered, and Christ would receive the worship he so deserved. She concentrated on the words, trying not to think about what she was about to do.

  When the song ended, Paul waited for everyone to settle into their seats. He glanced at Kate and sent her a smile of encouragement.

  “It seems my wife has a little surprise for all of us,” he began, pointing to the white fabric that clung to the wall behind him.