My Tomorrow

by Megan Nugen Isbell

  “Why aren’t you at lunch with Court and Anna Beth?” he asked.

  “I was gone for forty-five minutes this morning. I need to make up that time.”

  “I told you I didn’t care about the time.”

  “I know and I appreciate that, but I care about it.”

  “You have to eat though.”

  “I’ll get something from the vending machine later.”

  “I was thinking about getting a slice of pizza. Want me to bring you some back?”

  “No. Thank you though,” I said and it grew quiet for a few moments.

  “Did you guys work it out?” he asked in a low, serious voice.

  “Not that it’s your business, but yes, we did.”

  “So, you bought whatever he was selling?” Drew asked, his question oozing with sarcasm.

  “He wasn’t selling anything. He made a mistake. I’m not going to let one mistake ruin what we’ve built,” I returned and his lips curled up into a sly smile.

  “Your loyalty intrigues me.”

  “There’s nothing intriguing about it. It’s what people do when they love each other. They forgive mistakes. They look past each other’s faults. They don’t give up when things get a little rough. They work through it. That’s what I believe in and that’s why I forgave him,” I said, keeping my voice quiet, not wanting anyone to overhear. “And in case your memory is a little foggy from all that wine last night, he’s not the only one who messed up. The only difference is that he thinks he is and I’m too much of a coward to tell him he’s not the only one who’s got something to be sorry for.”

  “You’re sorry about last night then?” he said softly, peering down at me.

  “I am. I have a boyfriend. I love Ethan.”

  “Then why’d you agree to come to my apartment?” he whispered, leaning in closer to me, his hands pressing down on my desk and I told myself I wasn’t breathing any harder by having him so close.

  “Because I was lonely and sad and you’re my friend and I needed someone. I didn’t expect anything else to happen.”

  “Believe it or not, neither did I,” he said, his voice deep and serious. “I had no ulterior motives, but something happened.”

  “It did, but it won’t again,” I said and then mustering all my courage, I straightened myself up in my seat and looked at him. “I hope this won’t be a problem in regards to our working relationship, Mr. Saben.”

  “Don’t worry, Miss Vasser. It won’t affect it one iota. Have a pleasant afternoon.”

  And with that, he turned and walked away, but as he did, my heart started pounding harder with every step he took.

  Sixteen

  Drew was right. Our working relationship wasn’t affected. It was more professional than ever. His professionalism was almost irritating. There was no warmth anymore, no jokes, no friendly smiles. I missed the Drew who had become my friend. Now it was all business. It’s what I’d wanted…or what I’d said I’d wanted. I’d wanted our indiscretion to go away, but not at the expense of one of my few budding friendships in New York City.

  Things with Ethan were better, but it was still different between us. He still worked late at Carmine’s and we rarely saw each other. I knew it was our life now, but Ethan continued to reassure me it was only temporary. I knew he was right. It wouldn’t always be this way. Mixed up conflicting schedules and Ramen noodles were only momentary.

  At work, I stayed busy and Drew stayed in his office more than he usually did. We were nearly finished with the Tashawa account and we all couldn’t wait until it was finished and closed out. It’d been a source of serious tension in the office and we’d all breathe a sigh of relief when Mr. Tashawa accepted the final proposal and the ground breaking could begin.

  I wanted a clean slate with Drew though. I had to pay him back for the coat. It’d been too long. I’d planned to pay him back after my first pay check, but we’d needed every bit of it to pay the bills, so I’d waited until we could spare the $100. We still couldn’t spare it, but I didn’t care. I needed to get it off my chest. I didn’t like having it hang over my head.

  Court and I had been working on a graph when we decided to take a break. He headed to the vending machine and I went to my wallet, taking out the five twenty dollar bills I’d pulled out of the ATM on my way to work. Drew’s office door was open, but I knocked anyway and he looked up from his desk.

  “Come in,” he said and I stepped inside, walking nervously towards him, holding out the money. “What’s that for?”

  “I need to pay you back for buying me the coat.”

  “Put your money away, Natalie,” he said seriously, looking away from it and back down on whatever it was he was working on.

  “No. I insist. We agreed on $100 so here’s $100.”

  He finally looked up and sighed.

  “I appreciate that, but save your money for Japan.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked, obvious confusion spreading on my face and he stood up, making his way around the desk, taking me gently by the elbow and leading me out to Anna Beth and Court.

  “I need to talk to you all for a moment,” he began as we focused on him. “You know we’re almost finished with the Tashawa account, but something’s come up,” Drew began.

  “What’s come up?” Anna Beth asked, stating the question I was thinking. I rarely asked questions anymore though, not since the incident. I stuck to doing my work and answering instead of asking questions.

  “We need to go to Tokyo,” Drew stated.

  “We?” Court asked, his mouth practically hanging to the floor.

  “Yes, we,” Drew answered, looking around at each of us.

  “Are you serious?” Court gaped.

  “Completely,” Drew replied.

  “Why?” Anna Beth chimed in.

  “Tashawa wants to meet face to face. He wants the presentation done in Tokyo. He doesn’t want to make the trip to New York. We need to leave on Friday.”

  “Friday? That’s in three days,” Court said.

  “I know. I’m sorry for the short notice. I’ve bought the tickets. Do you all have passports?” he asked, obviously realizing it as an afterthought.

  I saw Anna Beth and Court nodding their heads and I did likewise, thankful for the ski trip to Vancouver I’d taken in college. It was the one and only time I’d ever left the country, but it had given me a reason to get a passport and now because of it, I was going to Japan.

  “Great,” he said, rubbing his hands together nervously. “Finish up what you’re working on today and then take tomorrow off to get ready for the trip. We’ll be gone five days. We’ll finish up the proposal on Thursday and tie up any loose ends at the hotel. Any questions?” We all shook our heads and he walked back into his office, shutting the door behind him.

  “Holy shit!” Court shrieked in a whisper once Drew was out of earshot. “Japan? He’s seriously taking us to Japan to help with the proposal. This is insane!”

  “I can’t go to Japan. Is he crazy?” Anna Beth said quietly, rolling her eyes while I just sat there open mouthed, trying to take it all in.

  “What do you mean you can’t go? Of course you can go. It’s a once in a life time opportunity. An all-expenses paid trip to Japan. You can’t turn that down!” Court exclaimed.

  Anna Beth sighed and rolled her eyes again.

  “I know I have to go, but seriously? Three day’s notice?” she complained.

  “It’s gonna be awesome,” Court said, giddiness exuding him.

  “Settle down there, cowboy,” Anna Beth said. “It’s a business trip, not a vacation.”

  “I know, but we do the presentation, then we sightsee! It’s gonna be fabulous,” Court said and then looked over to me. “You’re awfully quiet, Natalie.”

  “I’m just trying to take this all in,” I said quietly. “I’ve just left Iowa and now I’m going to Tokyo.”

  “I know! Isn’t it great?” Court continued. “Now, let’s get back to work so we can
start packing.”

  Court turned back to his desk and started hammering away on the computer. He was anxious to get done and start getting ready. Anna Beth seemed annoyed by the whole thing, but started plugging away as well. I wasn’t quite sure how to feel. Part of me was thrilled at the opportunity and part of me was scared as hell. A week in a foreign country with Drew. A week apart from Ethan. Anything could happen.

  ~~~

  Court and I finished up early and I left work around three o’clock. I had so much to do if I was going to leave for Tokyo on Friday and one of those things was explaining to Ethan that I’d be leaving the country.

  I’d gone straight home and gathered up my dirty clothes. After two hours at the laundry mat, my clothes were clean and packed. I’d made a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup and was now waiting for Ethan to get home so I could tell him about my unexpected trip.

  It was nearly ten o’clock when I heard the doorknob turn and Ethan walked in. He looked tired, but when he saw me sitting on the couch waiting for him, he smiled.

  “I thought you might be in bed,” he said, shutting the door behind him.

  “I need to talk to you.”

  “Is everything okay?” he asked and there was a change in his face and he looked concerned.

  “Yeah, I just need to talk to you about something.”

  “Okay,” he said nervously and sat down beside me. He always smelled like garlic bread when he got home and it made me hungry. “What’s up?”

  “Well,” I began hesitantly. “Something interesting happened at work today.”

  “What was that?”

  “I’m going to Japan,” I spat out, smiling at him.

  “What?”

  “I’m leaving for Tokyo on Friday.”

  “Excuse me?” he asked again, shaking his head. “Are you serious?”

  “Yes. I’m totally serious.”

  “This isn’t a joke?”

  “No. It’s not a joke.”

  “Why are you going to Japan? I thought you were an office assistant.”

  “I am, but Drew has to go do some big presentation and he wants Anna Beth, Court and me to go with him to help.”

  Ethan froze in his seat and stared at the ground for a moment before looking up.

  “That’s really cool, Nat,” he said softly with a smile. I wasn’t sure how he’d react to my news, but he seemed happy for me.

  “You’re okay with this?”

  “Of course I am.”

  “I thought you might be upset.”

  “Why would you think that?” he asked, taking my hand.

  “I don’t know.”

  “I would never be upset about something like this. What an amazing opportunity for you,” he said, taking the back of my hand and kissing it. “How long will you be gone?”

  “Till next Thursday.”

  “Five days? I’m not gonna lie. That’s gonna suck, but you’re going to have such a good time.”

  “If only you could come with me,” I said, turning to face him.

  “Well, I can’t. I’m a lowly waiter and you’re a high-class executive,” he grinned.

  “Hardly. I just got lucky,” I laughed and then leaned my head on his shoulder. “I’m gonna miss you. I can’t remember the last time we’ve been apart this long.”

  “It’ll go by quick. You won’t even think of me while you’re gone.” My mouth formed into a frown and then I grabbed his face and kissed him hard.

  “I’ll think of you every second I’m gone,” I said, pulling away and staring into his eyes before kissing him again, praying I would.

  Seventeen

  The next two days flew by and before I knew it, my alarm was going off at four a.m. In just a few hours, I’d be on a plane on my way to Japan. My parents had practically freaked out when I told them I was going, but I assured them I’d be fine and would bring them back something nice. That didn’t do anything to quell their worry, but I reminded them I was an adult and that I couldn’t pass up this opportunity.

  I got up and showered and changed into a pair of black yoga pants and an Iowa State hoodie for the fifteen hour flight. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, put some makeup on and then went to the kitchen to grab some toast. My stomach was in knots from nerves. I wasn’t hungry, but I knew I needed to eat something. I hated flying and the thought of being trapped in a plane for over half a day was not setting well with me.

  Just as the toast popped up, the bedroom door opened and a sleepy looking Ethan came stumbling out. He was rubbing his eyes and his hair was sticking up.

  “What are you doing up?” I asked.

  “I need to get in the shower.”

  “It’s 4:30 in the morning.”

  “Yeah, but I’ve gotta get you to the airport,” he said in his raspy, morning voice.

  “I told you last night you don’t have to do that.”

  “Yes, I do. I won’t see you for almost a week. I’m going to spend every possible moment with you,” he said, walking over and wrapping his arms around me and kissing me sweetly. “Let me take you.”

  He held me tightly and I nestled into his chest. A week seemed like so long, especially with everything going on with our relationship at the moment. It was fragile and I didn’t want anything else to happen to cause us anymore stress. Perhaps a week apart would actually do us some good.

  “I’m gonna miss you,” I whispered.

  “I’m gonna miss you too,” he replied, kissing the top of my head. “It’ll go by fast and we’ll Skype. You’re taking your laptop, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah, but it’s going to be hard with the time difference.”

  “We’ll figure it out,” he assured me. “Now, I’m gonna go take a quick shower. We’ll take off as soon as I’m done.”

  “Okay,” I said, releasing him. He smiled and I watched as he walked into the bathroom. I ate my toast and then finished packing my carry-on bag, loading it up with enough stuff to hopefully keep me occupied for nearly fifteen hours. Once I’d double-checked I had everything, I set my luggage by the door and waited.

  ~~~

  JFK was bustling with activity and it was only six a.m. I walked with Ethan into the American Airlines terminal and looked around. Drew had told us to meet in the check-in area by 6:15. I looked around for any sign of him or my co-workers, but didn’t see them.

  “Do you have your ticket?” Ethan asked.

  “No. Drew’s got them, so I guess we just have to wait till he gets here.”

  We didn’t have to wait long because a few minutes later I saw him, along with Anna Beth and Court, walking towards us. Anna Beth looked comfortable in a pair of jeans and a purple sweater. Her hair was pulled into a bun and she was carrying a back pack and a big duffel bag. Court looked stylish as usual. I wouldn’t expect anything less than perfection from him, even so early in the morning. He was wearing dark jeans and a cream sweater with a brown scarf. There was a fedora on his head and he was carrying a leather satchel over his shoulder, while dragging a large suitcase behind him. Then my eyes found Drew and I tried to ignore the pounding in my chest. He looked ever the GQ model in faded jeans, black t-shirt and black leather jacket, his hair gelled in an orderly mess with a few strands falling onto his forehead. He brushed it back with his free hand while the other pulled a black suitcase that I was sure cost a small fortune. I looked down at my own outfit and suddenly felt extremely underdressed.

  Court waved enthusiastically when he saw me. Drew looked up and our eyes met. He smiled momentarily and I swear I felt my cheeks blush. I quickly turned and took Ethan’s hand.

  “Hey!” Court sang.

  “Good morning,” I replied, doing my best not to look at Drew.

  “Have you been waiting long?” Drew asked, forcing me to turn to him.

  “No, not long,” I said shortly.

  “I told you, I could’ve sent a car to pick you up,” Drew said and I shook my head.

  “I know. That wasn’t necessary. Thanks
though,” I said and then I noticed Drew looking at Ethan. I turned to Ethan and saw he was eyeing Drew as well.

  “It’s good to see you again, Ethan,” Drew said, extending a hand.

  Ethan took Drew’s hand and shook it and I couldn’t help but notice how firmly Ethan seemed to grip it.

  “Likewise.”

  “Well,” Drew said. “We should probably check in.”

  “Let’s get this party started!” Court said excitedly and Anna Beth rolled her eyes.

  “You are entirely too enthusiastic for this early in the morning,” she groaned, but he just smiled at her and turned towards the check-in lines. Anna Beth adjusted her duffle bag and followed him.

  “You ready, Natalie?” Drew asked.

  “Let me just say goodbye to Ethan,” I said and Drew nodded, then turned and left us alone.

  I faced a somber looking Ethan and my nerves started to kick in.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, cupping my face with his hands. “You look like you’re about to cry.”

  “I’m just scared.”

  “There’s nothing to be scared of,” he said, hugging me in the tender way he did when I was upset. “You’ll be fine. Flying is way safer than driving.” I didn’t say anything as he held me. I couldn’t tell him that only about one percent of my fear was from the flight. The rest was from the guilt I felt. I held him tightly for another moment and then pulled back. Ethan gazed down at me and I reached up and kissed him, slowly at first and then deeper. I wanted a kiss that would last the entire trip.

  “C’mon, Natalie!” Court shouted from the line. “Either get a room or get over here!”

  My face flushed and Ethan was laughing. I looked over to Court who was smirking at me and then I saw Drew, eyeing me discreetly, but his expression revealed nothing.