My Tomorrow

by Megan Nugen Isbell

  “Do you wanna go then?”

  “I do. I want to see you enjoying yourself.”

  “It’ll be fun,” I encouraged, but he didn’t crack a smile.

  “I might have to work, but if I don’t, I’ll go and if I do, I still want you to go and have a real dinner.”

  “And the suit?”

  “If he offered, it’d be rude to turn him down and you can’t have me showing up in my overalls and straw hat.”

  He smiled then and I did too, but it did little to ease the pit that was growing increasingly larger in my stomach.

  Twenty-Eight

  The suit hung in the closet. It wouldn’t get worn after all. Drew had brought it in once I told him Ethan and I would be accepting his Thanksgiving invitation. It was dark gray, charcoal almost, and I knew as it hung there, Ethan would’ve looked amazing in it.

  I thought he was actually going to make it, but at the last minute, he was called in to cover a shift at Carmine’s. He couldn’t say no. He was already in hot water with his manager because he’d cut back on his shifts due to Jersey Boys. He took Drew’s address, just in case he managed a way out of it, but I wasn’t holding my breath and as I grabbed the homemade pecan pie I’d brought and stepped out of the cab in front of Drew’s building, I felt totally out of place. I’d splurged on the extra money it cost for cab fare because I felt a little foolish riding the subway in my dress. It wasn’t overly fancy, but I knew it would’ve garnered some looks on the subway and decided a taxi was the best choice. It was just a dress I’d picked up at Bloomingdale’s. At this point, what was another $200 on the credit card? It was a deep purple with a scoop neck and cap sleeves and a slit that ran up my thigh. Elegant, but simple. I clipped back my sides and left the rest of my hair down in lose waves and before I walked out the door, I’d put on the bracelet he gave me. As I looked down at it now, I knew it was worth more than I’d ever had in my checking account.

  The doorman opened the door and I buzzed up to Drew’s apartment.

  “It’s Natalie,” I said after he’d greeted me.

  “Come on up,” he said and I got in the elevator, fidgeting as I rode to the top. Once it stopped and the elevator opened, I walked nervously to the door. I knocked and a second later, it opened and Drew stood there, a wide smile on his face as his eyes spanned the length of my body. Then I noticed his eyes searching behind me. “Where’s Ethan?”

  “He had to work. He’ll come by later if he can.”

  “That’s too bad,” he said and I knew he was lying. “I’m glad you’re here though. You look amazing. Purple looks good on you. You were wearing purple the first day I met you.” He smiled at me and I tried not to blush.

  “Thank you,” I said, walking inside and holding out the pie to him.

  “What’s this?”

  “Pecan pie. It’s my grandma’s recipe. Should I not have brought anything?”

  “You didn’t need to, but that was really thoughtful of you. It looks delicious,” he said, setting it down on the table before coming back.

  “That was a total country bumpkin move on my part, wasn’t it?” I cringed. “My mom always told me never to show up to someone’s house empty handed when they’ve invited you for dinner. I guess that doesn’t count if you’re somewhere like here.”

  “Natalie, relax,” he said, reaching for my coat and helping me slide out of it. “Thank you. I can’t wait to try a piece later.”

  “You’re just being nice,” I laughed and he stepped away with my coat. I looked around the room when he was gone. All of his living room furniture had been rearranged so a large dining table stretched the length of the room. I didn’t recognize anyone who was snacking on hors d’oeuvres. I was surprised when a girl in black pants, a white blouse and tie came up to me, offering me some kind of pâté on a fancy looking cracker. I had no clue what it was, but I couldn’t be rude and I took one.

  “You look skeptical,” Drew said, returning to my side.

  “I didn’t expect servers.”

  “I’m just full of surprises,” he said, leading me away. “Let me introduce you to my family.”

  “Your family?”

  “It’s Thanksgiving. You didn’t think I wouldn’t have my family here, did you?”

  “Your whole family?”

  “Not my whole family. Just my parents and my younger sister. The others couldn’t make it. They’re in California.”

  “Who are the rest of these people?”

  “Friends.”

  “I didn’t realize you had so many friends.”

  “Of course I do. I’m very popular,” he said and I just laughed as we approached an older couple sipping on wine. “Mom, Dad,” Drew said and they turned to look at us. I could see where Drew got his good looks. His father seemed like an older version of him and his mom was attractive too. Tall and thin with pretty silver hair that she wore in a cute pixie cut. “I want you to meet Natalie.”

  “Hi,” I said, holding out my hand and they both smiled.

  “Nice to meet you, Natalie,” his mom said and I thought she looked between us suspiciously. “How do you two know each other?”

  “We work together,” I said.

  “Natalie’s one of my assistants. She moved out here recently from Iowa and I didn’t want her spending the holiday alone.”

  “That was sweet of you, son,” she said.

  “Iowa?” his father chimed in. “Hawkeye fan?”

  “Of course,” I laughed and he grinned warmly at me and I suddenly didn’t feel as nervous anymore.

  “How’s our son treating you?” his mother asked and I looked over, smiling at Drew for a moment before I looked back to his parents.

  “He’s been very welcoming and he’s great to work for,” I said and I hoped they didn’t see the flush I felt on my cheeks when I thought back to just how welcoming he’d been.

  “I hope so. I always tell him, it doesn’t matter that he’s achieved all of this,” his father said, gesturing around the luxury apartment. “He’d better not be an asshole.” We all started laughing and then a women who looked a little older than me approached us. She had hair as dark as Drew’s and eyes just as green. She was tall and rail thin in a pretty white dress and I immediately focused on the diamond necklace she was wearing.

  “Hello,” she said, stepping beside Drew and looking over to me. “I’m Christina, Andrew’s sister.” She held out her hand and I shook it for a moment, but I could tell she was eyeing me curiously, just as his mother had at first.

  “Natalie,” I answered.

  “Natalie’s one of my assistant’s, Chris,” he said and his sister smiled, but it wasn’t a warm one.

  “Where are your other assistants?” she asked, looking around.

  “At Thanksgiving with their families,” Drew answered. “Natalie wasn’t able to go home to Iowa so I invited her over.”

  “How nice of you,” Christina said, but I could tell she didn’t like me and I suddenly cursed Court and Anna Beth for having families within driving distance. If they were here, I’d have someone to talk to, instead of standing here with Drew’s sister who was obviously nowhere near as nice as her brother.

  “Can I get you something to drink?” Drew asked, turning to me.

  “White wine?” I asked and he nodded.

  “I’ll come with you, son,” his father said. “I could use a refill.”

  “And I could use some more of those crackers,” his mother said, heading towards the hors d’oeuvres table, leaving me alone with Christina and I could feel her icy stare on me. I decided to enlist my best Midwestern manners and kill her with kindness.

  “It’s really nice to meet Drew’s family. He’s told me nothing but good things about you,” I said, turning to her.

  “Funny,” she said, eyeing me. “He hasn’t told me anything about you.” She took a sip of the red wine in her hand and I wondered how long she’d been indulging. “Then again, he rarely divulges anything about his personal life.”


  “Well, I wouldn’t imagine he would. I just work for him,” I said and she snickered and laughed a little, taking another drink.

  “I’ve seen so many girls like you before.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “He may be my brother, but I’m also a woman and I know how women see Andrew. However, I assure you, Natalie, my brother is not stupid. He can see right through girls like you.”

  I was quiet for a few seconds, wondering how to respond. I actually wanted to laugh because it was so comical, but I didn’t.

  “I don’t know what kind of girl you think I am,” I began calmly. “But your brother is my boss and my friend and that’s all.” I wondered if she knew I was lying though. Probably.

  “I hope so,” she said quietly, taking another drink and her eyes drifted over my shoulder and I knew Drew was returning.

  “I hope this is to your liking,” he said, handing me a glass of wine. I took a sip and nodded.

  “Perfect.”

  “If you’ll excuse me,” Christina said with a fake smile directed at me. “I’m going to grab some more of those appetizers. Nice job with the catering this year, Andrew.”

  She was gone a second later and I wasn’t sad to see her go.

  “Is your sister always that hospitable?” I asked quietly.

  “Christina? What’d she say?”

  “Doesn’t matter. I take it she’s a little protective of you?”

  “Just a bit,” he said, but the smile he gave me told a different story. “Don’t let her get to you though. She’s a bitter divorcee with nothing better to do than butt into my life. She’s lucky I even invited her this year. Of all my sisters, she’s my least favorite,” he said with a light laugh and then placed his hand on my back, leading me towards a small group of men. “Now, c’mon. Let me introduce you to some of my friends before dinner.”

  I just nodded and I made my rounds with Drew as he introduced me to his circle of friends, including the stock broker who owned the vineyard in Napa Valley. I knew they were all of the same financial caliber as Drew, but they were all kind and inviting when he introduced me, so unlike his sister.

  “Do you mind if I use your restroom?” I asked after all the introductions. I knew we’d be sitting down to dinner soon and I wanted to wash up first.

  “Sure, it’s right over here.” I followed Drew, but then he stopped when we realized it was occupied. “You can use the one in my bedroom,” he said and I felt a twinge of excitement in my stomach knowing I’d get another glimpse into the life of Andrew Saben. I hadn’t really thought about what his bedroom looked like, but I had to admit my curiosity.

  “You don’t mind?” I asked.

  “Not at all,” he said and we walked down a hallway until he stopped and opened the door. It was dark until he turned on the light and then I found myself looking around the massive room. I swear it was nearly as big as my entire apartment. Clean and crisp just like everything else in his place. The walls were a light gray and the moldings and baseboards were bright white. A giant four poster bed was protruding into the middle of the room. It was perfectly made with a dark gray comforter and matching pillows. What surprised me the most though was the fireplace, made of smooth stones, a large flat screen TV hanging above it.

  “So, this is where you sleep?” I asked, stepping inside and looking around. He followed and when I heard the click, I knew he’d shut the door behind us and we were alone. My heart was pounding and I was too nervous to look at him. This was his bedroom and I stared at the bed, imagining what he could do to me in it.

  “This is where I sleep,” he said, walking past me. “The bathroom’s right here.”

  He walked a little ways and pointed towards a door.

  “Thank you,” I said, moving quickly past him and into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind me. I was afraid he’d follow me inside and I was afraid of what would happen if we were hidden so far away from everyone.

  The bathroom fit right in with the rest of the apartment. Gray granite countertops, sparkling nickel features, whirlpool tub and a large separate shower. “Everything okay?” his voice interrupted from outside the door and I was pulled back to the present.

  “Yes. Yes, I’m fine,” I said quickly, washing my hands and after drying them with the lush white hand towel, I opened the door. He was standing right there, waiting for me. “I just needed to wash my hands before dinner.”

  “You’re all set then?” he asked, his eyes staring hard at me and I knew I was breathing fast just having him so close and it was quiet for a few moments, neither of us saying or doing anything, except looking at each other.

  “Yeah,” I finally whispered. “All set.”

  We still didn’t move, not until he stepped towards me.

  “Dinner won’t be ready for another half an hour,” he said as he was backing me into the bathroom, shutting the door when we were both inside. I was cornered against the counter and he was pressing against me. “I’m glad you came tonight.” He reached up, running the backs of his fingertips against my cheek before planting his lips on my neck. It was as if a million electrical charges ran through me when his lips were on my skin. He began slowly, planting little kisses on my neck, but then he began to pull and tug so fiercely I was afraid he might leave a mark. I didn’t stop him though. I didn’t want him to stop and when his hands wrapped around my waist, lifting me onto counter, I didn’t stop him then either. He started inching the skirt of my dress up, higher and higher until it was bunched around my waist and when he slid off my panties, I didn’t protest. His hands were on me a second later and I winced, biting my lip hard, afraid to make any noise.

  “I want you, Natalie,” he groaned into my ear. “Ever since Tokyo, you’re all I think about it.”

  “You’re all I think about too,” I whispered breathlessly and with one quick motion, I heard the zip of his fly and before I knew what was happening I gasped at the feeling of him inside me again. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed it. He kept his eyes on mine, never blinking and I couldn’t look away either as I wrapped by legs around him, our hips moving together. We knew we had to be quiet. We were alone, but someone could hear. It was impossible to stay completely silent though and no matter how hard I tried, small whimpers escaped as he pulled me closer. I was certain I was going to scream as we moved together. I tried, but I couldn’t stop myself and I yelled out. Drew started laughing and one of his large hands cupped over my mouth, muffling the sounds until we were both done and we sat there, panting into each other, trying to get ourselves back under control.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered breathlessly. “I couldn’t help myself.”

  “Don’t be sorry. That was fuckin’ hot. You don’t know what you do to me, Natalie.”

  It was quiet for a few moments and he continued to stare into my eyes. I knew he wanted me again and I wanted him too, but then he pulled away and then zipped up his fly. He helped me off the counter and straightened my dress the best I could and searched for my panties. Then he turned to look at me and I didn’t know what to say.

  “Are you okay?” he asked and I nodded. I was more than okay. Being with him always made me feel okay, until the guilt crept in and I realized I was an unfaithful bitch. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

  “I think you did,” I smirked and he smiled a half-smile.

  “I won’t lie and say I didn’t want it. I did. I do. I always do.” He took my hand for a moment and then sighed. “I can’t do this anymore though. I can’t sneak around like this. I don’t want to keep you a secret. I don’t want to pretend anymore.”

  “Me neither,” I said quietly.

  “I love you, Natalie,” he said and I froze for a moment, startled by his words.

  “You don’t love me, Drew.”

  “Yes…I do.” He reached for me, taking my hand in his. “You know what I want. It’s up to you to come get it. Now, I need to get back. My guests will begin to wonder what’s become of me.”


  And with that, he kissed me on the cheek and turned and walked away.

  I couldn’t move. He’d just told me loved me and I couldn’t process that. It changed everything. It wasn’t just sex to him. It was so much more than that and I didn’t know what to do. I knew what I had to do, but I didn’t know how I was going to do it. I knew in my heart that I needed to let Ethan go. Regardless of what happened with Drew, it was over with Ethan and I knew that he knew it as well.

  I eventually took a deep breath, getting myself together and made my way out of his bedroom and down the hallway. I wasn’t prepared for what I saw when I got back to the party. Ethan. He had a glass of wine in hand and was chatting with Drew and Christina. I stopped in my tracks, but they all turned their heads towards me when I walked in. Drew smiled and our eyes connected knowingly. Christina was looking at me suspiciously and then I looked to Ethan and I thought I detected suspicion in his eyes as well, but I told myself it was probably just the guilt I was feeling.

  “Hey, Nat,” Ethan said a moment later and then I smiled, a forced smile because he’d know something was up otherwise.

  “Hey,” I said, walking over and kissing him on the cheek. “When’d you get here?”

  “Just a few minutes ago. Where were you?” I thought I caught accusation in his voice.

  “Yes,” Christina chimed in. “Where were you? Ethan came in and once I introduced myself, I tried finding you, but you’d disappeared.”

  “I was in the bathroom. I needed to wash my hands before dinner,” I said and I wondered if Ethan believed me. I could tell by Christina’s glare that she didn’t.

  “Well, now that you’ve been reunited, I’ll leave you all alone. It was nice meeting you, Ethan.”

  “Same here, Christina,” he answered and I didn’t like the way she was looking at him, but I was happy when she turned and left.

  “I didn’t think you were gonna make it,” I said to Ethan once she was gone.

  “Well, I did. Is that okay?”

  “Yeah! That’s great!” I said and I knew I sounded a little too jubilant. “I’m glad you’re here.”