Loving

by Henry Green

  'Wrong side of the window is his name for it. He should've grown up with us as children. Kate, my mother had every window open rain or shine and so they stayed all day.'

  'He writes to his,' Kate said, 'not like you you bad girl. When did she get word from you last?'

  'There's times I say that's the one thing keeps me here. I daresn't go back when I've kept silent such ages, while she's on every week writing for news.'

  'Why, listen to those birds,' Kate said.

  Edith looked out. A great distance beneath she saw Mrs Tennant and her daughter-in-law starting for a walk. The dogs raced about on the terrace yapping which made the six peacocks present scream. The two women set off negligent and well dressed behind their bounding pets to get an appetite for tea.

  'Was it the beginning or the end of June Jack wrote that he expected to get leave?'

  'Why I told you,' Mrs Jack answered sweet and low. 'Any time after the third week in May he said.'

  'I'm so glad for you both. It's been such a long time. I expect you'll go to London of course.'

  'Simply look at the daffodils,' her daughter-in-law exclaimed. There's masses of new ones out you know. Oh isn't it lovely. Yes it's a hopeless time of the year here isn't it? I mean there's no shooting or fishing yet. He'd get very restless poor dear.'

  'D'you know what I thought last night?' said Mrs Tennant. 'As I got into bed? I shall probably be down at Merlow all the time and you won't see anything of me but I half made up my mind I would come over with you.'

  'How lovely,' her daughter-in-law replied clear as a bell. 'Oh but then we must have an evening all together. Jack would be terribly disappointed.'

  'Darling you've seen so little of each other with this war coming directly after the wedding. I do feel for your generation you know. Of course I'd love it. Still I don't mean to butt in. I mean the leave is precious, you must have all of him.'

  There fell a silence.

  'Really,' she added, 'I'm not sure what I'm saying,' and dared to look full at her son's wife. This young woman was poised with an object, it may have been the dry white bone of a bird that she was about to throw. She flung it a short distance. The dog faced in the wrong direction, ears cocked, whining, while attendant peacocks keenly dashed forward a few paces.

  'Oh Badger,' she said and wiped her fingers on a frilled handkerchief, 'you are so dumb.'

  'We could do a play together,' Mrs Tennant proposed.

  'How lovely. The only thing is the children. I imagine it's all right leaving them. I mean nothing can happen can it?'

  'I'd thought of that. I don't think so. We did before.'

  'I know. Then that will be lovely.'

  'When d'you think he'll let you know dear?'

  Mrs Jack showed irritation. 'No Badger no,' she said. On being spoken to the dog made as if to leap up at her. 'Down damn you,' she said. 'Oh you know how it is,' she went on, 'the usual, three days notice at the most. On top of everything you've got to be looking your best as though you'd been in and out of the London shops all winter.'

  'You won't have to worry your head over that,' Mrs Tennant archly told her. 'Oh by the way did I ever mention about Mrs Welch's nephew coming over to stay?'

  'How old is he?'

  'Just the right age Violet, nine next March. I thought it would be nice for the children that's why I bought his ticket. His father's the chauffeur to old Lord Cheltenham.'

  'My dear have you broken it yet to nanny?'

  'No darling to tell you the truth I didn't dare.'

  'It is a bit of a facer isn't it?'

  'You see I couldn't very well refuse,' Mrs Tennant said, 'and it will be so good for the children.'

  'What's he like?'

  'Oh Mrs Welch is a most superior woman. I'm sure he'll be perfect. I wouldn't mind if there were any possible children down in the •village. But even Michael's eldest boy at the Lodge Gates is dressed as a girl.'

  'Do they really still believe the boys get carried off by fairies?'

  'Well if they do they could expect fairies to see through the skirts. But couldn't you say the little chap's been ill?' she asked her daughter-in-law.

  'Then she'd think she'll have to nurse him,' Mrs Jack objected.

  'But couldn't you promise her that Mrs Welch won't let him out of sight Violet?'

  'It is so difficult isn't it? And it's just what Evelyn and Moira have been wanting. Anyway bother nanny.' The two women smiled at one another, grew mischievous. 'I'll tell you what,' Mrs Jack went on, 'why don't we say it's Mrs Welch's illegitimate? Then she'll be so thrilled she'll look after him like one of her own.'

  Mrs Tennant tee hee'd.

  'Oh Violet you are naughty,' she said.

  'Well I don't know why not. After all the worry they bring it would be a score to give them something to really chatter about.'

  'And then we should have to find another cook and another nanny,' Mrs Tennant objected. 'It's quite bad enough having them die on one. Besides, Nanny Swift will think it out for herself. I shouldn't be a bit surprised if she didn't start throwing dark hints before the child has been here ten days.'

  'D'you think it's true then?'

  'My dear what do we know about the servants? Agatha took the trouble only this morning to let out some frightful double meanings in connection with Kate and Arthur. I must remember to call him Raunce.'

  'Kate? I'd've thought it would be Edith. I wish I had that girl's skin.'

  'Yes she's a lovely child isn't she? D'you inow Violet I don't think I care what they do so long as they stay.'

  'You poor dear,' Mrs Jack said. 'Why look,' she went on, 'there it is already.' And there it was close, on a low hill, surrounded by cypresses amongst which grew a palm tree, the marble pillars lying beside jagged cement topped walls against a blue sky with blue clouds. 'D'you think we have to go right up this time?' she asked.

  'I don't think we need to-day, do you?' her mother-in-law replied. Calling to the dogs they turned for home. They began a talk about underclothes.

  But Kate and Edith were not to get out of the Castle without difficulty. As they came down their passage ready dressed for the afternoon they were halted by a broken noise of sobbing.

  'Why listen,' Kate said, 'it must be the old girl herself. Now what do you say to that?'

  'You go on dear,' Edith answered, 'don't wait for me.'

  'Ah now come on Edie, half the day's gone already, you don't want to bother.'

  'Why the poor soul,' Edith said and went in, shutting the door after.

  Miss Burch lay on her bed wrapped in a huge blue crocheted shawl. She had taken off her wig and wore a lace mob cap which hung askew. With hands inside that shawl and face sideways on the pillow over a patch of wet Miss Burch seemed given over to despair and sobbed and shook and hiccuped.

  Edith took off her beret, sat on the bedside shaking her hair free.

  'Oh Burchie Burchie,' she said, 'why whatever's the matter?'

  She got no other answer than a wail. Then Miss Burch rolled over face to the wall. The cap twisted off her head. Edith gently put it back and because her shiny skull was sideways on that pillow she could only place the cap so that it sat at right angles to Miss Burch's pinched nose, as someone lying in the open puts their hat to protect their face and terrible eyes.

  'Now then,' Edith tried again, 'what's this?' She spoke soft.

  'Oh I can't bear it,' Miss Burch cried out, 'I can't bear it.'

  'Can't bear what dear?' But the sobbing started redoubled.

  'Now Burchie don't take on so, you shouldn't,' Edith went on, searching over this cocoon with her hand for Miss Burch's where it lay wrapped warm to her side, 'listen to me dear, it can't be so bad. You let me bring you a nice cup of tea.'

  'I can't bear it,' Miss Burch replied a trifle calmer.

  'It wouldn't take me more than a minute to run down. No one would ever know, the kettle was nicely on the boil in the hall when I just left it. You see now if that mightn't do you good."

  'Not
hing'11 ever be the same,' was all Miss Burch said.

  'Now don't talk so wild Burchie. You just go easy and let me fetch you a good cup of tea.'

  'You're a good child.'

  'Of course I am. There dear. Rest yourself.'

  Miss Burch began to sniff, to show signs of coming round.

  'It wouldn't take but a minute to nip down,' Edith went on but Miss Burch interrupted.

  'No don't leave me, Edith,' she said.

  'Then what is it now?' the girl asked, 'what's happened to upset you like you are?'

  Then it came out much interrupted and in a confused flow after she had adjusted her cap. What Miss Burch felt so she said was that nothing would ever be the same, that after thirty-five years in service she could not look forward to being in a respectable house again where your work was respected and in which you could do your best. Yet with the same breath she told Edith that Kate and her were lucky to be in a place like this. She went on that there were not many girls in their position able to learn the trade as she was able to teacrrit, to pass on all she had acquired about the cleaning and ordering of a house, particularly when over at home they were all being sent in the army to be leapt on so she honestly believed by drunken soldiers in darkness. She said they were never to leave the Castle, that they didn't know their luck. But at the same time, with another burst of sobs, she repeated that nothing would ever be the same, that it was to throw away a life time's labour for her to go on here. She made no mention of Mr Eldon. In the end a cup of tea had finally quietened Miss Burch so that the two girls were at last able to set off down the back way which joined the main drive not far from Michael's Lodge Gate, cut in the ruined wall which shut this demesne from tumble-down country outside.

  Another morning, as he had been warned that Captain Davenport and Mrs Tancy were coming over to luncheon, Charley went to his room, got out the red and black notebooks, consulted the index and looked these people up. He read: 'Davenport Captain Irish Rifles ret'd salmon trout Master Der-mot first term. Wife passed away flu' 1937. Digs after the old kings in his bog.' Then there was a long list of amounts with a date set against each. These possibly were tips. But Raunce noticed that Mr Eldon had touched the Captain for larger and larger amounts. At the last which was for a fiver Charley whistled. He said out loud, 'Now I wonder.'

  Then he turned to the woman's page. 'Mrs Tancy her old Morris,' he found set down and the word Morris had been crossed out. Mr Eldon had added above, 'her old pony male eleven years.' There came another long list of dates with unvaryingly small payments, not one larger than a shilling, the last in August.

  Mr Eldon had always seen to opening the door himself so that when the Captain rang it was the first time that Raunce had received him.

  'Well now if it isn't Arthur,' this man said hearty and also it appeared with distaste. He put up the cycle for himself. 'And what news of Eldon?'

  After Raunce told him and he had expressed regret he stood there awkward so to speak. Charley took his chance.

  'And how are the salmon trout running sir?' he asked.

  'Salmon trout? No fishin' yet. Close season.'

  'And Master Dermot sir?' Raunce enquired without a flicker.

  'Very fit thank you very fit. He's in the eleven. I'll find me own way thank you Arthur.'

  'Not a sausage, not a solitary sausage,' Raunce muttered at his back referring to the fact that he had not been tipped.

  He waited for Mrs Tancy behind the closed door, presumably so as to have nothing to do with Michael who stood outside to take over this lady's pony and trap.

  'I'm late,' she said when she did come. 'I'm late aren't I?' she said to them both. 'Could you?' she asked Michael handing him the reins. 'Oh Punch there now!'

  For the cob with lifted tail was evacuating onto the gravelled drive. One hundred donkey cart loads of washed gravel from Michael's brother's pit had been ordered at Michael's suggestion to freshen the rutted drive where this turned inward across the ha-ha. Gravel sold by Michael's brother Patrick and carted by Danny his mother's other son who had thought to stop at the seventy-ninth load the donkey being tired after it was understood that Mrs Ten-nant would be charged for the full hundred.

  Michael ran forward to catch Punch's droppings before these could fall on the gravel which he had raked over that very morning.

  'Asy,' he said as though in pain, 'asy.'

  The dear man he should not have bothered,' Mrs Tancy remarked in a momentary brogue.

  With a pyramid steaming on his hands Michael glared about at the daffodil sprouted lawn. Then he shambled off till he could scatter what he carried on the nearest border. Meantime Charley, looking his disgust, stood at the pony's hazy violet eyes. After a moment of withdrawal Punch began to nose about his pocket. 'The cob is looking well Madam,' he brought out. 'Isn't he, isn't he?' she said. 'Well thank you Arthur,' she said slipping a British threepenny bit into his hand and sailed past with not so much as a thank you for Michael.

  When there were guests to lunch the servants had theirs afterwards. So it was not until ten past two that Raunce sat down in Mr Eldon's chair. He carved savagely like a head-hunter. They ate what he gave them in haste, silent for a time. Then Charley thought to ask, 'That Captain Davenport? Now where would I have heard he seeks after treasure in a bog?' He got no answer.

  'Do they dig for it,' he went on, 'or pry long sticks into the ground or what?' he mused aloud.

  'Are you thinking you'll have a go?' Kate said.

  'Now there was no cause to be pert my girl,' he said. 'Why goodness gracious me,' he remarked to Edith, 'whatever are you blushing for?'

  She looked as though she was going to choke. If he had only known she was stricken by embarrassment. She knew very well that the last time the lady had been over to view the excavations Mrs Jack returned without her drawers. And it was with not a single word. They had vanished, there was not a trace. To turn it perhaps, she said to the lampman, 'What d'you know Paddy?'

  'Why here we are sitting and we never thought of him,' Kate said. 'Come on now. You'd know Clancarty.'

  He made no answer. But he laughed once, bent over his dish.

  'Clancarty Paddy,' Kate tried again, 'Mr Raunce is asking you?'

  Charley watched Edith. He said under his breath, 'it's funny the way she blushes but then she's only a kid.'

  'Are they makin' a search?' Kate went on and she fixed her small eyes unwavering on Edith. The lampman made no reply. He seldom did.

  Edith while she blushed hot was picturing that wet afternoon Mrs Jack had last been over to Clancarty. While Mrs T. and her daughter-in-law were on with their dinner Edith had been in the younger woman's room busily clearing up. She hung the thin coat and skirt of tweed which held the scent used, she put the folded web of shirt and stockings into drawers of rosewood. She laid the outdoor crocodile skin shoes ready to take down to Paddy. She tidied the towels then went to prepare that bed, boat-shaped black and gold with a gold oar at the foot. She moved softly gently as someone in devotion and handled the pink silk sheets like veils. The curtains were drawn. Then all that she had to do was done. Those oil lamps were lit. But she stuck a finger in her mouth, looked about as if she missed something. Then she searched, and faster. She had gone through everything that was put away faster and faster. When she was sure those drawers Mrs Jack had worn to go out were astray her great dark eyes had been hot to glowing.

  'I'll wager they had everything of gold,' Raunce said, still on about the excavations.

  'And wore silk on their legs,' said Edith, short of breath.

  'Don't talk so silly,' Miss Burch took her up. They never put silk next to themselves in those days my girl. It wasn't discovered.'

  'Did they have silk knickers then Paddy,' Kate asked giggling.

  'I never heard such a thing,' Miss Burch replied. 'You'll oblige me by dropping the subject. Isn't it bad enough to have dinner late as it is,' she said. 'You just leave the poor man alone. You let him be.'

  Bert spoke. The nurser
y never had much of theirs,' he said. 'I must've took back the better part of what I carried up."

  'Oh dear,' cried Raunce in the high falsetto he put on whenever he referred to Nanny Swift.

  'You should have seen 'er,' Bert added.

  Both girls giggled softly while Charley still in falsetto asked whose face, holy smoke.

  'Now that's quite enough of that,' Miss Burch said firm. There was a pause. 'I knew Mrs Welch had been upset,' she went on, 'and now I perceive why, not that I'm trying to excuse those potatoes she just gave us,' she said. All of them listened. She seemed almost to be in good humour. They were never cooked,' she added, 'and I do believe that's why they put salt on spuds,' looking at Paddy, 'but I'll say this, those precious peacocks of yours would have spurned 'em.'

  Right to the last meal Mr Eldon had taken in this room it had been his part to speak, to wind up as it were, almost to leave the impress of a bishop on his flock. This may have been what led Charley to echo in a serious tone, 'Miss Swift is a difficult woman whilst she's up in her nursery. But she can be nice as you please outside.'

  That's right,' Miss Burch said, 'and as I've often found, take someone out of their position in life and you find a different person altogether, yes.'

  The two girls looked at one another, a waste of giggling behind their eyes again.

  'But our potatoes this afternoon were not fit for the table,' Raunce said to Miss Burch.

  Thank you Mr Raunce,' she replied. In this way for the first time she seemed to recognize his place.

  'Well look sharp my lad,' he said to Bert. He appeared to ooze authority. 'Holy Moses see what time it is.'

  He hastened out like a man who does not know how long his new found luck will hold. Also he had to make his first entry in the red notebook, to record the first tip. He put the date under Mrs Tancy's name, and then '3d'. 'Wonder what happened in that six months gap,' he murmured to himself about Mr Eldon's last date, 'she's been over to lunch many a time since and he'll have had the old dropsy out of her. He was losing grip not entering it, that's what,' he added aloud. Then he laid the books aside.