Summer on Firefly Lake

by Jen Gilroy

  “Do you want to get ice cream? Simard’s Creamery has a stand across the street from where we had dinner.” The intimate bistro with tables for two, where the muted candlelight had softened the planes of Nick’s face, and they’d bumped knees under the small table to send jolts of awareness through her.

  “You like your tiger tail ice cream, don’t you?” Although Nick’s voice held a teasing note, something hot and elemental sparked in his eyes. Then his expression changed again, and he was the Nick who’d helped her with her mom’s foundation on all those late-night phone calls last winter. The friend she called when she wanted to talk about anything and everything.

  Mia stopped in the middle of the rutted track in the field where they’d left the car. The long grass tickled her bare legs below her sundress, and she shivered in the cool night air. They’d go for ice cream and then Nick would take her home. They’d drive the familiar highway back to Firefly Lake and talk about the play and how well Charlie and Lexie were doing. Safe, easy topics.

  He’d drop her off at Harbor House, and she’d go upstairs and get into Georgia’s single bed beneath the tattered travel posters. Alone. Like all those other nights she’d spent alone, denying what she wanted and making excuses.

  “I changed my mind. I don’t want ice cream.” Her voice shook.

  “Mia, I—” He made a choked sound.

  “I thought about what you said.” If she didn’t go for this, she’d always regret it and wonder about what might have been. And maybe a fling with Nick was exactly what she needed to put the last ghosts of her marriage behind her. “You’re right. We’re both single and neither of us wants something the other one can’t give.”

  “Are you sure?”

  She tried to laugh. “We’d have to be discreet.”

  “Of course.” The raw desire on his face was replaced by a glimpse of what might have been vulnerability.

  “I like you, and I know you won’t hurt me.” Because she’d locked the part of her that could be hurt deep inside. “We both have needs.” She kicked the grass with her sandals and rubbed her bottom lip.

  “I like you, too. What Jay did was wrong, and I want to make sure you understand I’d never do anything like that.” A pulse fluttered in Nick’s throat. “We might not have a relationship, but I wouldn’t sleep with anybody else if I slept with you.”

  Mia looked at the night sky, where stars twinkled above the forested hills. When she was little, she’d wished on stars and believed in a happy-ever-after. But she was an adult, and life had made her wiser and destroyed her childish belief in magic and wishes. “Where do we go from here?”

  “I’ll take you back to Mom’s if you want me to.” Nick’s arm brushed the curve of her shoulder through her light sweater, and the tremble inside her kicked up. “If you’re not ready.”

  She was ready all right and had been even before he kissed her the first time. “I want this.” She lifted her face to his as a cloud scudded across the moon. “I want you.”

  Even if it could only be for tonight, she was Mia, not a mom, not a sister, and not a wife who’d been tossed aside for someone younger and curvier. For this one moment, she didn’t have any responsibilities except what she wanted and needed.

  “I want you, too.” He took her hand and led her toward the car. “A part of me has wanted you since I was fifteen and you hung out at the town beach in that green bikini with the white flowers.”

  Her heart lurched. He’d noticed her enough to remember the bikini she’d hidden from her mom. The one she’d bought because she’d heard Nick say he liked green. “You were always with the guys by the lifeguard station.”

  His fit body was encased in a pair of board shorts, and his eyes were hidden behind mirrored sunglasses. Everything about him was a lot sexy and a little bit dangerous.

  “I wanted to see you.” His smile was forced, like the admission cost him more than he wanted her to know.

  Mia curved her cold hand into his warm one. She’d guessed she’d hurt him the one time they’d gone out, but until tonight she hadn’t understood how much. She couldn’t regret the past, and she couldn’t predict the future, but she could do something about the present. “I want to be with you. Even though we’re not teenagers anymore and I don’t have that green bikini.”

  Nick’s gaze skimmed her body from head to toe and lingered at her breasts. Then he gave her a grin that was pure bad boy. “I was always a lot more interested in what was underneath that bikini anyway.”

  He opened the passenger door for her to slide in.

  She looked at him from under her lashes and flirted like she’d wanted to do all those years ago but had been too shy. “You were, were you?”

  “Oh yeah.” He shut the car door and, in the sudden silence, panic rolled over her again. Except, there was excitement too. She was going do what she’d hardly let herself think about, but she wouldn’t let herself fall for him or care about him as anything other than a friend.

  Want wasn’t love. Love needed commitment. And without love and commitment, there couldn’t be a forever.

  Nick stood on the log cabin’s front porch with Mia’s hand tucked in his. The leaves in the big trees near the house rustled in the wind, and night birds called to each other. Out back, beyond the old maple sugar shack, a creek gurgled, and the bass note of a bullfrog reverberated like a bow across the strings of a fiddle.

  “Who owns this place?” The innocence in Mia’s face tore at his heart. No relationship and no ties. Both of them were okay with that. It wasn’t like he’d take advantage of her or promise something he couldn’t give.

  “I do.” He unlocked and opened the door then flipped on a light switch.

  Soft light gleamed off the honey-colored oak boards dotted with colorful rag rugs. A sectional sofa sat in one corner near the bedroom door.

  Mia’s gaze darted around the room, and tension radiated off her. “You never mentioned you had a place at Fairlight Cove.”

  “It never seemed important.” He’d always kept people at arms’ length, and he didn’t share much of himself, even with the ones he cared about. He closed the door behind them to shut out the night.

  Mia slipped off her sandals and followed him into the living area, her bare feet a soft patter on the floor. “It’s gorgeous. If this cabin were mine, I’d be here every weekend.”

  “Mémère Brassard, Mom’s mother, left it to me in her will.” More than Harbor House, more than his apartment in New York, and way more than the place above the law office in town, it was the closest Nick came to having a home. “My grandfather built it for her when he came back from the Navy after the Second World War. It was their special place.”

  A smile curved Mia’s mouth as she perched on the edge of the sofa. The white sundress with the red flowers he liked so much billowed around her. “That’s sweet.”

  He sat beside her as unsure as he’d ever been. He liked sex, and he liked to think he was good at it, but with Mia, he didn’t know where to start. Or what to do so he wouldn’t scare her any more than she already was. “You’re so beautiful and—”

  She put her index finger on his lips to stop him. “My whole life, people have told me I’m beautiful. Maybe I am, but that’s not all I am. With you, I don’t need pretty words.” Her brown eyes were sad. “I want you to look at me and see who I am. All of me, not the girl I was, but who I am now.”

  “I don’t see that girl. I see the woman who’s my friend, who I respect and admire for the way she’s put her life back together.”

  “Good.” She let out a shuddery breath. “I don’t see Brian McGuire’s son or the kid you were. I see you.” She touched his jaw, and her fingers lingered on the faint triangular scar from the accident.

  For the first time, the weight of his dad’s legacy lessened. The expectations, the mistakes, and the regrets didn’t matter, at least for tonight. The fear of loving and losing didn’t matter either. He cupped her face in his hand and looked into her eyes. “Angel, you’
re sure about this, you and me, here?”

  She got to her feet and tugged him with her. “I already texted your mom and told her not to wait up for me.”

  “Did you tell her where you were?”

  “No and she didn’t ask. She’s so happy to have Cat and Amy staying, she can’t think of much else.” Mia gave him an impish grin. “Besides, I didn’t know where you planned to take me.”

  Nick chuckled as he eased Mia’s sweater off her shoulders. One of the straps of her sundress came along with it. “Mom’s smart. She knows we went to Fairlight Cove tonight. She’ll guess I brought you here.”

  She’d also guess why, and Nick’s throat thickened. All those hints about Mia his mom had dropped made it clear she wanted to see the two of them together. She’d never understand tonight was casual with no strings for either of them.

  Mia trembled as he eased the sweater and dress down her arm. “Did you…” She gasped as he licked the curve of her neck and his hand grazed the underside of her breast.

  “Did I what?” He breathed in the intoxicating scent of her floral perfume and eased her back toward the half-open bedroom door.

  “You and your ex-wife…” She stopped with her dress hanging off one shoulder.

  “I never brought Isobel here. Or any other woman, either.” He wrapped a strand of her hair around one finger. “Sean and I came here a few times last winter to go cross-country skiing, but those are guy weekends. Charlie stays home.”

  “This place isn’t anything like Harbor House.” Mia gestured to the room with its modern furniture accented by a few vintage pieces, like the oak Vermont blanket box he’d gotten at an auction and his grandfather’s snowshoes, which hung on the wall next to the woodburning stove. “You’ve even got accent pillows, and all the colors complement each other. Greens with touches of red and brown to pick up the tones of the wood.”

  “What?” Nick dragged his attention away from her mouth.

  Mia grabbed a sofa cushion. “You’re a guy. Don’t tell me you picked this out by yourself.” Although her eyes teased him, wariness lurked in their depths.

  “Okay, I lied.” He chuckled. “There’s been one woman here. The decorator I hired to update the place. I loved Mémère, but I didn’t love all the pink roses she had everywhere.” He moved toward Mia, and she backed even closer to the bedroom door.

  “You have a kitchen?” She hitched at her dress and exposed more creamy skin.

  “Top of the line.” He caught the neckline of her dress with one finger. Her skin was hot, and she hissed when he dipped his finger lower into her cleavage.

  “I can cook us breakfast tomorrow morning.” Her eyes widened as his finger snagged the lace of her bra. “I mean if…”

  “I don’t plan to drive back to Firefly Lake in the middle of the night.” Nick slid her sweater all the way off. As it dropped to the floor, the buttons bounced with staccato pings. “We’ll be discreet, but I don’t want to sneak around. I wouldn’t have brought you here if I didn’t want you to stay the night.” He pushed the bedroom door open and backed Mia through it toward the bed.

  “I don’t have any other clothes or—”

  “I have a spare toothbrush, and you can use one of my shirts if you get cold.” He slid her dress all the way down her arms and unbuttoned the tiny buttons at the front until the top half came away, and she stood naked from the waist up, apart from an ivory strapless bra. “I want to keep you real hot, though.” He found the switch for the bedside light and flipped it on.

  Mia’s face reddened as she covered her chest with her hands. “I’m small. I always was, but after having the girls, I got smaller. Charlie got the good breasts in the family.” Her laugh was high and tinny.

  “Your breasts are perfect.” Nick yanked his shirt off and pulled her against his chest. He dipped his head and kissed her neck, then her mouth as she trembled against him. “Your legs are perfect, too.” He scooped her up and sat her on the bed, then ran a hand under the hem of her dress.

  As Mia wiggled across the bed, her dress came off, and Nick sucked in a breath.

  “What?” She jackknifed upright and tried to cover her breasts and the panties that matched her bra.

  “You’re even better than you looked in that bikini.” He clasped her hands in his and held her gaze. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Not with me and not ever.” He moved beside her and shoved her dress onto the floor on top of his shirt.

  She took one of her hands out of his and traced the contours of his chest, then his back and the indentations of his spine, her touch light. He shivered.

  “I’m sorry.” Her hand stilled like she’d done something wrong.

  “Don’t stop.” He bent, kissed her mouth, and waited until she opened for him to deepen the kiss and taste the dark chocolate they’d shared at the play. Rolling onto his side, he pulled her toward him so they were face to face and heart to heart.

  Mia let out a soft sound and pulled him closer. She touched his back again, then her fingers dipped lower beneath the waistband of his jeans and boxers.

  He eased away and unbuckled his belt one-handed. “Help me, angel?”

  She fumbled with the button on his jeans, then the zipper, and brushed his erection before she pulled her hand away.

  Nick got rid of his pants and reached for her again. He lowered his head to kiss the curve of her jaw, her neck, and then her breasts. He found the clasp on her bra and opened it, those little breasts he’d wondered about within reach, and the nipples already hard for him to touch and taste.

  “Nick.” Mia breathed his name as he squeezed then sucked one of her nipples into his mouth.

  His free hand skimmed over the curve of her hip and under her panties. She arched her hips and he continued his intimate exploration, tugged her underwear down, and wrapped one leg around both of hers.

  She stiffened and twisted away. “I thought I could do this, but I…”

  Nick lifted his head. Her breath burst in and out, and her body shook.

  “What’s wrong? What did I do?”

  “Nothing. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Her eyes were too bright. “It’s me.”

  “Hey.” He grabbed the fleece blanket from the end of the bed and wrapped her in it. “It’s okay.”

  “I haven’t done this in a long time, and I’m scared.” She buried her face in the curve of his shoulder and curled into a fetal position.

  Nick rubbed her back through the soft blanket. “You were married. I don’t understand.”

  She tilted her head to look at him, and her eyes were enormous in her white face. “Yes, I was married, but Jay and I hadn’t had sex, not really, since before Emma was born.”

  Her younger daughter was eight. Nick’s heart ached. “Why not?”

  She shrugged like she didn’t care, but her eyes told another story, bleak and so sad that tenderness, as sharp as it was unexpected, welled inside him.

  “Emma’s birth was hard. Jay didn’t make it back in time because he was closing on a big sale in Germany. He couldn’t understand what it meant for me to go through that all alone, or how I felt, physically and emotionally. When I was ready to make love again, I tried.” Her voice cracked. “I bought lingerie, cooked romantic dinners, booked weekends away, and arranged for the girls to stay with a friend. Except, by then he always had an excuse, like work or he was tired.”

  “He was with other women?” Nick clenched a fist around the blanket and wished it were Jay’s face.

  “He didn’t want me anymore, and it turned out he hadn’t for a long time, even before I got pregnant with Emma.” She swallowed a sob. “He’s the only man I was ever with, so I panicked because, even though you said you wanted me, maybe you don’t. I’m like one of those born-again virgins you read about in the magazines at the supermarket checkout.”

  “I never read those magazines.” Nick cupped Mia’s chin to make her look at him and make sure she understood. “I want you, and if you give me a chance, I’ll show you
how much. I’ll do everything I can to make this good for you.”

  “You promise?” Her lashes were wet with unshed tears.

  “I promise.” He didn’t do promises, but this was different. This was Mia.

  He tapped down the spurt of anger at Jay and how he’d treated her and how she’d lived for years. Most of all, anger at how the girl he remembered had become a woman so unsure of her sexuality she could doubt what he wanted. And what she wanted, too.

  He kissed the tip of her nose. “Isn’t it about time you had some good sex?”

  “I don’t know if I can make it good for you.” Her eyes were wary.

  “Doesn’t this tell you anything?” Nick took her hand and wrapped it around his erection.

  She gave him a small smile, and he eased the blanket down her body. Her breathing sped up as he stroked her breasts. He found her nipple again and tweaked it between his thumb and forefinger. “Tell me what you want.”

  She leaned closer and whispered in his ear.

  “Oh yeah.” He flipped her onto her back in one quick move. “Don’t worry about getting it right the first time or making it good for me.” Nick trailed a hand across her midriff and she gasped as her body relaxed and melted into his. “You can bet I’ll want to try this again.”

  What Mia wanted was for Nick to keep touching her. She pulled his head lower and guided his mouth to her breast.

  He gave a soft chuckle then gave her what she wanted until she squirmed against him. “Take off my boxers.”

  Mia fingered the elastic waistband. Beneath it, black cotton covered an erection that left her in no doubt he wanted her. She slid her hand under the fabric and touched his skin. It was hot and a bit damp. “Nice.” She tugged the underwear down his muscular legs.

  “First the play and now me?”

  “Is impressive better?” He was big, hard, and all male, and her insides clenched with anticipation. She touched his knee then ran a hand across his thigh. His skin was smooth and unmarked, apart from the ridged scar tissue along his right side from the top of his ribcage to his hip.