We make it through dinner , but Sean is uncomfortable and the rain has stopped. I want to head out with my camera. I lean over to Jackie. “Can I make an excuse and get out of here?”
“Sure.”
She’s having a good time. She’d rather be alone with him at this point anyway. It’s not like our conversations have revolved around all four of us.
I look at Sean. “You have memory left in your camera? I’ve been waiting for a night like this for a while.”
“Like what?” he asks.
“Where everything’s wet, it’s dark, the stars aren’t out, and it isn’t raining.”
“Oh.” He looks confused.
“Thanks for dinner. You two enjoy dessert.” I stand and start walking out. If Sean doesn’t follow, I’ll just take a cab home and get my own camera. Fortunately, he does.
“So, this is your thing, huh?” he asks after I confiscate his camera.
“This is my thing.” I smile back at him. “Thank you.”
“Yeah, no problem. Maybe we could go and you could help me someday when it’s sunny and nice out.”
I laugh. The rain may be gone but it’s still wet out and still cold. “You do know this is Seattle, right?”
“Yeah, I know.” He laughs.
“I’d be happy to help, but clear it with your girlfriend first. I don’t want anyone mad at me,” I tease.
“Will do.”
And I know right now he’ll be an easy person to hang with if we ever bother to get together again. That’s good. I still need people.
~ ~ ~
I’m in Mandy’s office talk ing with a client a few days before her wedding. She’s brought in these fabulous photos, funky, interesting angles, and I’m so excited I’m having a hard time sitting still. I didn’t get much from the last wedding Mandy and I did together, but I know right now that I’ll nail this one.
My phone rings as soon as I leave the office.
“Hello?”
“Dani! It’s Sean.”
“Oh, hey there.”
“It’s a sunny day so I’m being let out of here early. Can you show me around so we can shoot some pictures? Maybe let me in on some of your mad skills?”
“Oh…I don’t know…”Jackie’s comment about me always with the boys still sits weird with me.
“Dani. I’m engaged. She knows that we took pictures together the other night and I called her today to see if she cared if we got together today.”
“I’m sorry I…have…well, it doesn’t really matter. I’ll meet you on Broadway in a half an hour?” What I want to say that is that I have issues with boys, and a kid, and a missionary, but it suddenly doesn’t seem important.
“Perfect.”
~ ~ ~
Sean has a good eye, but he’s not good with the technical stuff—forcing shutter speeds and things like that. I spend most of the day teaching him how to use his camera. We start up on Capitol Hill and make our way slowly toward the water. We hit the ferry docks as the sun’s going down. Timing is perfect.
“Thanks a lot, Dani. That was fun. You’re easy to be around.” He’s smiling wide, and even has a few freckles sticking out under the sun.
“No problem.” I can take pictures with anyone who wants to take pictures.
“Can I give you a ride back home?” he asks.
“Got my bus pass.” I wave and take off before anything has the potential to get too friendly or awkward. Maybe I’m just paranoid.
I realize as I get on the bus why I like Sean. He reminds me of my brother. Same build. Same smile.
I’m tired and walking through the gate when I hear Jackie and Chase on our front porch, or dock, or whatever.
“Hey there you two.” I wave.
“Oh!” Jackie turns toward me with this odd, surprised look on her face. “Hey, Chase was just leaving.”
It’s funny because they look pretty cozy to me—sitting together on one lounge chair.
“Right.” I wave again. “Goodnight.”
Guess their date went well.
~ ~ ~
My paycheck comes in from the wedding that I felt so excited to shoot. I can’t wait to see how well I did. I like a lot of my shots, and I don’t even love doing weddings. I’m disappointed. Mandy has it broken down for me. Of the photos the bride chose only twenty percent were from me. I wonder if I should be doing weddings at all.
~ ~ ~
It’s Mother’s Day. Jackie and I are headed to the Masons. I had dinner with the Wright’s last night because they begged for me to celebrate with them a little bit too. Jackie and I wander in the front door and her father’s standing there on his cell phone.
“Jackie wants to say hi.” Clint hands the phone to her.
“Hello?” she asks. “Oh hey there! How are you! Oh, you heard I finally found someone to date, huh? You remember Mr. Watson? At my dad’s law firm? It’s his oldest son… Thanks, me too… Oh yes, of course. Just one sec.” Jackie hands the phone to me.
I start shaking. There’s only one person it can be. I swallow, and they both leave the room. I’m searching for my voice, for words, for anything, I’m wasting precious seconds.
“Hello?” He sounds confused.
“Michael?”
“Dani…” His voice is full of love and relief and everything I want it to be full of. “You weren’t there yet, and I thought I’d miss the opportunity, and I’d be devastated.”
“It’s so good to hear your voice.” I sit down. Right on the marble floor in the entryway.
“Yours too. You have no idea.”
“I thought this would be too distracting.” I tease, still in shock.
“It is… I did ask for you on Christmas. You weren’t in your room.”
“Nobody said…” anything. Nobody talked about the call at all.
“I told them not to. You were right, Dani. I wanted to hear your voice.”
“Thanks for this.”
“Dani, I miss you...”
“So what you’re actually learning out there is how to bend the rules?” I try to tease again. I want to laugh and cry and throw my arms around him, but he’s not here—just his voice.
“No, just who I really love.” Wow. He pauses. “Only a few more months, Dani. Can you hold up for a few more months?”
“Definitely.” I smile. “Easy.”
“Well, I love you. I’ll see you soon.”
“Love you too. So much.”
As the line clicks I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
I have an email from him just a few days after our talk.
Dani –
I know I should feel bad for talking to you. My “supervisor” had stepped out of the room. I even went to my Mission President. I told him all about you, about me, and we had a nice long talk. He told me to be careful, and assured me I was doing good things here. Not just for the people I’m serving, but for my companions as well. He said I’m wise beyond my years. I guess that’s good, right? So I’m so close, I’m going to try to tone down my letters to you so I can focus, but you can tell me anything, Dani. I want to hear it all.
Elder Mason
Really it’s exactly the kind of letter to make a girl want to jump up and down and squeal. For the next few days I float on his words.
30
I’m in Mandy’s office picking up my paycheck when I see a girl knocking on the window.
I open the door. “Mandy’s not in right now.”
“I know. I just stopped by. She called to say my wedding photos were here.”
“And you’ve paid already?”
“Yes, of course, it should all be in the file. I’d like to at least look at them really quickly if you’re afraid to let me take them.”
I pull her file out and the receipt is right there on the outside.
“Just a sec.”
I find the packages easily. She has several folders and some large blowups. I have no idea what people do with a three-foot tall picture of them in their wedding
dress but…whatever.
She wants to look at them, and I’m anxious to get home, but I have time. She sits down and flips through. I remember taking a lot of these. I realize I’m holding the paycheck for this shoot. I check my paycheck, Mandy’s accounting, and then I start counting as the bride flips through. They’re nowhere near the same. I’m in shock.
“You continue to look, and let me know if there are any issues. I need to check on some paperwork.” I feel tingly numb. I’m definitely angry and feeling cheated? I’m not sure.
“Sure. No problem.” She has a giddy smile that’s also far away and distant, she’s reliving her big day.
I pull out the Anderson wedding file, the one with the request for edgy photos. Mandy has a few pages of proofs of the pictures that were ordered in the front of the file. I recognize almost all of them. I try to take deep breaths, but it doesn’t work. I want to put my fist through something. I wait until the bride is finished and leave Mandy a note:
I quit. You owe me money.
Dani
I take the bus home with tunnel vision. I’m not sure what to do with myself. I write Daniel an email. He’s moved and we can email now. I also write Michael. It makes me feel a little better but the school year is over, I’m not taking classes, and I don’t have a job.
I get an email from Daniel just before I shut down my computer. When I write him in the evenings, his response is usually pretty quick.
You’re smart Dani, just go it alone. You could call it Gemini something because we’re twins and because we both know how dad hates anything even slightly related to astrology. Good Luck Little Sis. I know you can do this.
Love, Daniel
I shut my computer down with a smile.
~ ~ ~
Jackie’s looking bleary eyed from another late night out with Chase as I walk into the living room.
“Hey Jackie? I need to talk to you about something.”
“Oh! Me first.” She doesn’t even wait. “I’m getting married!”
“What?”
“Check it.” She holds her hand out toward me. Even though she’s in the kitchen and I’m in the living room I can see the rock.
“Congratulations!” I go in and pull her into a tight hug.
“So, what’s up with you?”
“Don’t we need to talk about the fact that you’re getting married?” I ask. “It seems like it warrants a longer conversation that that.”
She shrugs. “I’m not planning yet, so nope, the fact that I’m getting married pretty much covers it.”
She makes me a bowl of cereal and we sit outside in the elusive sun.
“So, what’s going on with you?”
“Mandy’s been cheating me out of money.”
“Wow.”
“I know. She’s a member of the church and everything. I just never checked.”
“Well membership doesn’t require perfection.” Jackie raises an eyebrow and takes another bite of cereal.
She’s right.
“Daniel thinks I should go it alone.”
“You should.” She sits straight up. “Oh! Clint just got an in on a small apartment downtown, fairly close to where the Wrights are. It used to belong to a photographer. There’s some stuff left there. Nothing super useful, no camera equipment or anything, but there’s a bizarre collection of couches and chairs and stuff. I think there’s even a roll of backdrops. I’m not sure what condition it’s all in…”
“Jackie.” I look at her. “I don’t even have a job. “There’s no way I’ll be able to buy something right now.”
“Maybe Clint will buy it and you could rent it from him?” she suggests.
“Which would work if I knew I’d get some business.” There’s so much involved in doing something like that. I wouldn’t even know where to start.
“Well, let’s go check it out sometime this week or next.”
“Okay,” I agree even though I don’t see how it can lead anywhere.
~ ~ ~
Jackie and Chase decide to get married in August. August. Their date is a little over two months from now. They want to have their reception outside. It’s always a little risky going for an outdoor party here, but August is the month to do it. I can’t believe Jackie is trying to throw together a Jackie wedding in two months.
~ ~ ~
I’ve put the word out to people in the ward that I’m available for senior portraits, family portraits, weddings… I’ve collected the bare essentials for being out on my own, but I’ll need another camera for in the studio. If I ever get one.
Jackie and I pull up to the space she wants me to look at, and when we get out I realize that we’re very close to the Wrights house. Clint meets us with the keys to look at the apartment.
“How are my beautiful girls doing today?” He hugs us both. I laugh as we’re pulled together. “Come on up.”
“So, how much is this place?” I don’t want to know.
“Well, we picked it up for just under 200,000.”
“That’s it?” I look around. It’s in a cool building with tall windows. I’d imagine the ceilings are tall as well. I can’t believe you could get something like this for that little.
“Well, the condo is a bank repossession. It’s only kind of set up for living in. The space is wide open except for a really small bathroom through a really small room, which is underneath a loft that’s also so small it’s practically unusable. The place is still a mess—furniture and backdrop stuff everywhere.”
It sounds pretty perfect to me. And when he opens the door, it is.
It’s a mess, and it’s small, but the light is amazing. There’s some purposeful graffiti on the brick walls. The apartment is on the corner so there’s light from two sides. There are rolls of backdrops on the floor, but I can see the hooks for them on the walls of the small room. It’s dusty and looks like it’s been abandoned, but I know it’s perfect for what I need. I sigh. I shouldn’t have come.
Clint reads my reaction wrong.
“Told you it was a mess.” He shrugs in apology.
“No, it’s perfect,” I tell him. “I just don’t have the money.”
“Well, we might be able to work something out.” The way he’s looking at me says that he’d buy it for me and work some kind of deal.
“No.” I shake my head. “You have all done too much for me already.”
Clint starts to protest, but I walk out and Jackie follows.
~ ~ ~
When we walk in the door at Jackie’s place, I still don’t have a letter from Daniel. We’ve been going back and forth really well. I’m sure he must be busy. He is in a war zone. It’s to be expected that there will be periods where he can’t write.
Sean and Chase come over to go boating. Jackie maneuvers us out of the docks easily. Chase looks impressed and very much in love. I wonder how awkward the day will be for Sean and me.
It’s not awkward though. We boat slowly around the outside of the lake, looking at the houses and talking about school and work and life. Sean is a little quiet, but Chase makes up for it. He’s smart and warm and open and completely unashamed of how in love he is.
It’s a nice break for me and my current situation. I’ve been at Jackie’s house for over two years now, and I know the plan is for her and Chase to live there when they get married. Jackie hasn’t said anything , but Chase loves it, and I’m feeling like I need to find somewhere to be. Somewhere for my unemployed self to be.
“You okay Dani?” Sean asks.
“Yeah, just have a lot on my mind,” I respond. “My boss, or used to be boss Mandy cheated me out of a lot of money so I don’t have a job and I know these two are going to want some privacy when they get married so there’s just a lot going on.”
He nods.
“Dani, you can stay as long as you want, or as long as you need to,” Jackie says. Chase nods next to her. I roll my eyes.
My Forever (The Next Door Boys) Page 23