After the Dust Settles (California Dreaming Book 3)

by Stacey Johnston

As the door creaks open, I spin around and freeze, watching as Sean makes his way to me. It’s the first time since I made contact that I have felt nervous in his presence.

  “Spill,” he flatly declares, his voice void of any emotion.

  I know I deserve this cold, hard version standing before me, but I hate that it’s come to this. Originally, I only wanted him for one night, to have a bit of fun and remove my obsession with him. I had every intention of fulfilling my padre’s wishes once I was done with him. What was the harm in a little fun before getting down to business? He was supposed to be nothing more than a job for me, a contract, a key figure my padre wanted eliminated. Only, once I was with him, and started talking to him, I couldn’t do it. There was an attraction between us that neither of us could deny.

  You’re probably wondering how I can be this callous. Considering I speak of taking another’s life as though it’s not that big a deal. What you don’t understand, is this is how I have been raised. I’ve pretty much had a gun thrust in my hand no sooner than I learnt to walk. I became my padre’s figlia.

  “It’s not a short story, Sean,” I counter, trying to hide the fear from my voice.

  I’ve never felt this way before; this is all new to me.

  “I’ve got time.” His glare troubles me.

  I really don’t like the idea of him being angry with me, even though I know I deserve it.

  Sighing, I delve into my story, pacing back and forth as I speak. Part of me needs to keep moving so I don’t have to see the disgust in his eyes, and the other part is trying to keep warm. I knew I should have grabbed my jacket before I left my apartment. Starting from the beginning, I tell Sean that my padre is Jason Alexandria and my madre is a whore. By that, I mean she works in one of his whore houses, a part of his prostitution ring. He once told me that he never saw the point of marrying because he didn’t want some needy bitch stealing his money.

  Imagine his surprise when I came along.

  My madre also gave him a figlio, who is a year younger than me, and one of his soldiers. Gerrick is working his way up to captain, in an attempt to make our padre happy. Once he had a figlio and figlia, he never touched my madre again. I believe his words were, that he put her out to pasture. He is such an ignorant fucker. Over the years, I have wished to end his life, to make him pay for the miserable quality of life he subjects my madre to. Although there have been many opportunities to stick a knife in his heart, I’ve always chickened out, because his death would only devastate both Gerrick and my madre.

  There was a time when I too loved him unconditionally, but not anymore.

  Finding courage, I swallow the lump in my throat and turn to look at Sean. He is by now seated in one of the outside chairs just watching me. His arms are crossed but there isn’t any malice in his stance.

  Just curiosity.

  It is like he is intrigued with my story, hanging on my every word.

  As I start to relax, I open up about my relationship with Silo and what happened to his figlia. I know her name, but tell him that I believed it to be disrespectful to speak it, as she is dead because my padre failed her. He allowed a madman to manipulate him, and because of that, an innocent girl suffered. That was the particular moment my eyes were opened to the way of life I had become accustomed to, and I didn’t like what I saw. I’ve killed, and watched others do the same, but not once had it affected me to the extent that this did.

  I admit to Sean that I know no other way of life; that both Gerrick and I grew up within this family structure, with very little outside influence. Killing became second nature to me, and I was fucking good at it. I learnt to shut off my feelings, and concentrate on the job, because that’s all it was … a job. During the whole time I spilled out my story, Sean never once interrupted. He sat quietly, listening to me ramble on, allowing me to continue. I feared that if I stopped, even momentarily, I would lose my courage and shut up.

  When I got to the part about him, I found it amusing to see his ears perk up. I smirked as he raised his brow slightly. As much as it was killing me to admit, I had to tell him that he was originally a job to me, only later becoming my obsession. The fact that I knew more about him than he obviously liked, was highlighted on his face, but he didn’t stop me. I loved the fact that he just let me talk.

  I loved him… There, I’ve admitted it to myself. I love him and have since I found him sitting alone on the waterfront. It’s why I chased him, asking him to come meet me here. I found the strength I needed in his silence, and with that strength, the weight holding me down was lifting. I suddenly felt lighter than I have in a long time.

  “Where are we supposed to go from here, Hadley?” he finally asks, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had fallen around us.

  His voice might have been small, but it was strong and determined. I know that makes no sense, but I expected so much more from him and yet, there was no anger in his tone. I think that’s what has surprised me the most.

  “You’re not angry?” I ask in return, my voice full of surprise.

  His eyes widen, but only briefly. Washing his hand over his face, he looks up at me with the cutest puppy dog eyes.

  “I want to be Hadley, everything in me tells me I should because I loved Sherlyn, but I just don’t feel it. Maybe it’s because I love you more.”

  If I was shocked before, it has nothing on what his admission has just evoked in me now.

  He loves me…

  The grin that spreads across my face is uncontrollable. When I asked him to meet me, I never thought I would hear those words spill out of his mouth. Especially after the story I had just spieled before him.

  “Say it again, Sean. Convince me that I didn’t just dream you said that,” I croak.

  My voice is sore from talking so much, but it matters not as I watch him stand. Cautiously, he takes tiny steps toward me, his eyes drinking in my body as he gets closer. The look in his eyes is heated, capable of melting me from the inside out, taking away the coldness from standing outside. Pulling me into his embrace, I place my cheek on his chest, closing my eyes to soak in his warmth.

  “I love you, Hadley,” he punctuates slowly and meaningfully.

  I could feel the sound of his voice reverberating throughout his chest before the noise and words escape his mouth.

  Now what do we do?

  “I love you too,” I reveal, not wanting him to leave me again.

  “Come with me,” he whispers into my hair.

  “Yes…” I breathe.

  Chapter Four

  Sean

  Never in my life have I ever been more serious about something than I am right now. Against my better judgement, I came back to Brooklyn for her, nothing else, just this girl in my arms. I wasn’t joking when I said she was my lifeline, and every poor judgement I make from this moment on, will be because of how much I love her. The voices in my fucking head are screaming at me to leave, run and never come back. To go and leave Hadley behind, because she will bring me nothing but trouble. I know it’s the right thing to do, but I don’t think I could leave her, even if I wanted to. The way her body feels crushed against mine has my cock straining behind the material of my boxers. It wants inside her even more than I do.

  Regardless of all that, it’s the feel of her heart against mine, beating rapidly, that has my blood pressure accelerating. We need to get out of here, both of us should get moving before her father finds us.

  “We need to leave, Hads, if your father finds us together, we will both wind up dead.”

  The sudden coldness that covers my body as we break our embrace sends a chill through me. Her face is beautiful, the soft glow of her cheeks only accentuates her beauty.

  “Not right now, lover boy, we need to plan. If I run now, my father will find me before I can safely escape. If that happens, he will have you killed and I can’t let that happen.”

  Fuck … that’s not what I wanted to hear. All I want is for the two of us to run away, somewhere that we can’t be fo
und, but I know she is right. Her father would track us before we could get out of the country.

  “We need a plan, Sean, money and a fool proof escape. I know my father better than anyone, he will not let me go easily. I’m in too deep.”

  Beautiful and smart… but I already knew that.

  Pulling her into me one last time, I breathe her in, taking in as much of her scent as my senses will allow. I don’t know when I will hold her in my arms again.

  “You need to leave now, Sean,” she murmurs into my chest. “Don’t come back here,” she scolds, pulling away from me once more.

  The tears in her eyes break me, I thought I could feel her body sobbing in my arms.

  “I will come to you. I will find you.”

  Why does this feel like goodbye?

  Kissing her forehead, murmuring I love you into her hair for the last time, I turn away from her and move toward the door. Her sobbing is loud enough for me to hear, but I can’t look back otherwise, I won’t be able to leave. Once again, I can feel my heart breaking, only this time, it’s being ripped from my chest and Hadley is stomping it into the ground. There are easier ways to be rid of someone, and in this moment, I would prefer that she had placed that bullet in my skull after all.

  *****

  “Sean, talk to me. You have been walking around here like someone broke that stupid Xbox of yours.”

  Huh! What the hell is Sophie on about?

  Glancing up, I give her a puzzled look to find her staring at me, her eyes are shadowed with worry and I’m starting to regret coming here. I’ve been home, or what was once home, for three days now and have taken to spending my time on our balcony overlooking the ocean. I’ve always loved it out here, apart from the peacefulness, the crashing of the waves below is tranquil and helps clear my head.

  “Soph, I haven’t used a gaming console in forever, what the hell are you talking about?” I sigh in resignation.

  I hadn’t realized I was that obvious. I had been daydreaming about Hadley, have been the whole time.

  “You, dumbass, have been moping around this house since you got here, what’s up your ass?”

  Screwing my face up, I take notice of what a fucking charmer that sister of mine has become. Living with Ben and the others hasn’t helped her vocabulary all.

  “Bottling up shit isn’t good for you, Sean. You will end up exploding and if you even think of directing any of that shit at me… don’t. I’m not yours or anyone else’s personal fucking punching bag.”

  Wait………. What?

  “Sort your shit out or go home, we’ve all worked too hard to move forward with our lives to have you bring us back down.”

  Nice! Real nice, even Sophie is on my fucking case.

  “I’m not bottling shit up, as you so charmingly put it, I said my goodbyes prior to flying out here.” I know my voice is harsh, I can hear it, but I’m tired of being treated like the charity case. “Maybe I have other shit on my mind and needed time away from the parentals.” The look she gives me is comical.

  Being the smartass my sister thinks she is, she would have thought she had me all worked out, yet she is wrong. There was a time when I felt freer, when I enjoyed hanging out with the guys. Unfortunately, I’m not the same person and don’t believe I ever will be again.

  “Then, what you need to do is open up to someone, Sean. I can see that whatever is going on is torturing you,” Soph counsels, her face still radiating the worry I know she is feeling for me.

  “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, Soph, my life has become more complicated than I ever imagined it could,” I start to admit. “I’ve met someone, actually I met someone months ago, someone that means a lot to me.”

  I stifle a smile, choosing to look away from Sophie instead. Her mouth is gaping and it’s fucking funny. It’s the first thing, since I arrived here, that’s actually made me smile.

  “I’m glad I amuse you asshole, but how, when?” she snarls back at me.

  That’s the one thing I’ve always loved about my sister, her fight and determination. She has always been the stronger of the two of us, even though she would disagree.

  “Sorry sis, but the look on your face is funny. How could I not smile at your reaction?”

  Her whole face brightens, the smile taking over, shining, relaxing me enough to tell her my story.

  Starting from the beginning, I admit that I met Hadley the day Sherlyn had died, when I was at my lowest. Her face made me smirk several times when I gave her more information than she was chasing, but it felt good to finally get it off my chest. The relief that flooded through my veins was exhilarating, and what I fucking needed. All of my grief and guilt over Sherlyn’s death flowed through my words and yet, Soph said nothing. She did for me what I did for Hadley, and that was allow me to finish, uninterrupted. I couldn’t have loved my sister more than what I did in that moment. When I was finally finished, I sighed in relief.

  “What stopped you from chasing her?” a sullen voice from behind me asks.

  In the chair beside me, I hear Soph gasp, and it probably should alarm me, yet it doesn’t. I may not have realized that Stephen was standing there, but I’m not disturbed by it either. If anything, I’m actually relieved. Pausing briefly, I take a moment to gather my wits before turning to get a good look at him. I shouldn’t be surprised that his face is much paler than I remember, really ashen in color. His stance against the wall is that of a tired man … a man broken.

  In the whole time I have been back, we haven’t said much more than a grunted hello in passing. None of that is on him, though, it’s all my doing. Don’t get me wrong, he has tried, but I’ve just felt the need to wallow in my own self-pity. I’m good at avoiding people, limiting my contact so that I don’t have to deal with anything I can’t control. Since arriving here, I hadn’t considered the effect my morbid state of mind would have on the others in the house.

  “A ghost,” I finally reply, holding his gaze.

  The words flow from my mouth in one shaky breath, a breath I didn’t realize I was holding onto. Nodding, he slowly pushes off the wall to take the seat in front of me. I wish I knew what words would help him, although I doubt Stephen would listen anyway. He prefers his life of misery as much as I do.

  “That ghost will be pissed that you let this girl go, you know that, right?” a steely voice, directly aimed at me speaks.

  He avoids the fact that Sophie is sitting beside me.

  “Shit, she will be just as pissed at me for moping around as well, but I get it. I really do,” he continues, stopping only to run his hand over his face, into his hair, in frustration.

  “About fucking time,” I hear my sister whisper quietly. I doubt Stephen heard her, which is probably a good thing. Knowing Sophie, she would have been on his case as well. I know that he has been spending a good amount of time locked up in this house.

  “From what you’ve just spilled, she had nothing to do with our girl’s death. That is her father’s doing and I have no doubt he will pay for that crime.”

  Damn right he will.

  When I spoke to my father after leaving Hadley that day, he promised me he would do everything in his power to eliminate Jason Alexandria. I listened as he expressed his disappointment in my actions and the subsequent hiccup I had now caused. I knew we were on their radar, but I never suspected that I had been made a target. My head hasn’t been right in months. Errors were bound to happen. I think what surprised me the most were his words before I hung up… What matters most is the lives of our children. What is important to you and Sophie is important to us. Bring Hadley home, Sean, let us meet the girl who has captured our son’s heart.

  Remembering where I am, I catch the end of what Stephen was saying. “Don’t punish his daughter for trying to prevent the inevitable. That fucker was never going to stop until he got what he wanted.”

  More words of encouragement, from the unlikeliest of sources and I know what I need to do. I need to head back to Hawke’s and pl
an what my next move will be. Stephen has caught me by surprise and I have tears in my eyes.

  “I don’t know what I was expecting, but this wasn’t it. I’ve missed you man, I’m sorry I disappeared on you.” The words just stumble out of my mouth as I ramble.

  My sister’s comforting hand on my back startles me, but no more than Stephen pulling me in for a suffocating bear like hug.

  “Missed you too brother,” was all I got in return.

  I don’t think any further words were needed as he slaps me on the back and backs away.

  Noise from the doorway brings me back. Looking up, Ben, Kyle, and Luke are standing by the glass cheering.

  “About time fucker,” Luke calls out over the noise. “Glad to have you back.”

  It’s good to be back.

  Chapter Five

  Hadley

  My padre knows something is up, but it’s nothing more than suspicions he has at the moment, which I am fucking grateful for. When I allowed Sean back into my bed, I royally fucked up, and my padre knows it. I can’t believe I was so stupid, but it’s what that boy does to me. He unintentionally rips my guard down, causing me to act carelessly.

  I, of all people, know that I need to be more conspicuous. I knew, the moment I let Sean into my apartment, how damning it would be, and then I had to go and allow him back into my bed. I knew he would have been watching, but at the time, I paid no thought to it. There has always been someone keeping tabs on me, running back to him to try and crush me. Since the Sean incident – his words, not mine ̶ he has been watching me even closer. I haven’t been able to go anywhere without one of his men shadowing me. Usually, it’s my fratello, but more often than not, it’s been that sleaze Luca. That asshole is one of my padre’s captain and has been trying to fuck me since I turned sixteen. Every time I turn him down, it pisses him off more.

  Unfortunately for me, that’s the one my padre wants to marry me off to.

  Yeah…. I don’t think so. It will be over my dead body that you will see me married off to some aging, sleazy old fuck to keep the family happy.