"Wow."
I wiped my eyes.
"I'm sorry," she said and placed her hand on top of mine.
"'S okay. I'm good. It comes and goes. One day I'm fine and the next I'm not. I guess it's my new normal."
"It's going to get better."
"It already has." I gave her a half-hearted smile and then said, "Oh, and I gave her a Barbie Doll with its head missing. Told her it needed help. Pretty sure the doll is supposed to be you."
"Me? How'd you figure that?"
"Well, it wasn't the big boobs or the blond hair, but since I told her it needed help and you have the Nick thing going on, I just assume it was supposed to be you."
"Barbie isn't Asian."
"Figuratively speaking."
"I know." She laughed. "What did Fran say?"
"That she had it covered."
Mel's lips curled and her eyes lit up. "The flat tire."
"That's what I'm thinking."
"God, I love your mother."
"I know." I got up and grabbed the Ouija Board from the top of the refrigerator.
"You sure you're up for this?" she asked.
I nodded. "I'm worried about you though."
"Me, too." She made the sign of the cross. "Lord, help me."
"I'm pretty sure you're beyond help." I giggled.
"Thanks for your support."
"Anytime."
I told Josh we were going to the basement to watch chick flicks. He curled his lip and wrinkled his nose. "Better you than me."
"He's becoming his dad," Mel said.
"Stop depressing me."
"Hey, at least his dad isn't Nick."
I held my index finger up and nodded once. "Good point."
***
We walked into the basement and stopped dead in our tracks. My eyes widened and my mouth dropped. "What the hell?" Then I dropped the f-bomb. Twice.
"Oh, boy," Mel said, her hand covering her mouth. "You said the f-word. Someone's gonna get a big ol' can of Angela whoop-ass."
The basement looked like a Chuck E Cheese party room someone forgot to clean. Empty bags of chips, soda cans, and two pizza boxes with leftover pizza from God knows when littered the floor. Opened DVD cases and DVDs were lying everywhere. The couch pillows sat propped up against the front of the couch with piles of blankets near them. I smelled pee. I inhaled through my nose twice just to make sure and almost gagged. The stench was so strong it overrode the skunk. My heart raced and I started to sweat. The vein in my forehead pulsed. Messiness to an anal-retentive and slightly obsessive-compulsive person like me could cause a heart attack. I dropped to my knees and breathed in deep breaths. "Cheese and rice, we've got rats now, I know it."
"Which one?" Mel asked.
"Guess," I said between deep breaths.
"How many girls?"
"Four. Over a week ago."
She walked over to a pizza box and picked up a piece of molded, pepperoni pizza. It was disgusting but was probably even nasty before it molded. "Over a week ago? Pizza sure molds fast. Who knew?"
I stood and walked over to the pizza box and closed it. "I cannot believe she thought it was okay to leave the basement like this. I hope one day she has two daughters."
"Twins," Mel said.
"Then when she's forty-five, I hope she has another one."
"Now that's just cruel."
I picked up the garbage and put it all on the mahogany coffee table. Mel folded the blankets and picked up the pillows and put them all on the couch. We moved the DVDs and their cases into one big pile. I didn't worry about scratching them and would probably regret that later. "Do you smell pee?" I asked.
She rubbed the back of her neck. "I was afraid to mention that."
I got on my hands and knees and sniffed around the floor for pee. I couldn't find any but I knew it was there, somewhere. My nose never lied. It had superpowers ever since being pregnant with Josh. "I know there's pee here somewhere," I said. "Come sniff with me."
"Heck no," Mel said. "And darn it, I left my phone upstairs. This is a prime Kodak moment right now."
"Har. Har," I said and sniffed another section of the floor. "It's the only way to tell for sure."
She pushed garbage off the couch and sat. "Add that to my list of reasons for not having a pet."
"I didn't say the pee was Gracie's," I said, only half kidding.
"No way."
"You never know."
"I'm glad my kids are younger," she said.
"Your time is coming, and trust me, I'll be the first one to laugh my butt off when you're down on the ground sniffing for pee."
"Idea," she said. "Let's skip the demon-rousing and Google boarding schools."
"Nice try."
We sat on the floor in front of the table. Mel ran her finger across the small space not covered with trash and blew the dust my direction. "Clean down here lately?"
"About thirty seconds ago."
"You missed."
"If you want, I'll go grab a dust cloth and you can dust until your heart's fulfilled."
She smirked. "I'd much rather do that than conjure up demons."
I lifted my eyes toward the ceiling and sang, "Ma, Mel keeps calling you a demon."
Mel swatted my arm. "I did not. Fran, don't listen to her." She made the sign of the cross again.
"Stop that. You're not really Catholic anyway."
"Am so."
"Yeah? Maybe by birth, but not in practice."
"Once a Catholic, always a Catholic."
"Really?"
"Yup. It never goes away, ever."
I raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Uh huh. So, tell me, when'd you last go to confession?"
Her forehead wrinkled and she tilted her head like a dog. "Um."
"Tick tock. Tick tock." I tapped my wrist where a watch would have been if I wore one.
She held up her hand and said, "Gimme a minute. I'll remember."
I laughed. "I don't think you've been since we met, Mel. Imagine how long it would take you to confess now."
"I'd be there for months."
"Years."
She sighed. "You're right. I'm screwed."
"Not lately."
"Touché."
I pulled the Ouija Board out of the box. Mel shivered. I laughed.
"So what do we do?” she asked.
I flipped the box over. "Not sure. There aren't any directions. What'd you do when you did it?"
"Uh, I was twelve, remember?"
"Yeah, probably that's too far back in the past for you to recall."
"Funny."
She picked up the pointer and examined it. "What's this thing called again?"
"Pointer thingy?"
"You're a wealth of knowledge."
I held up the box and pretended to dump out the empty contents. "Not much to work with."
"Great. So what should we do? I say just forget the whole thing. Without directions, we have no idea what can happen."
I shook my head. "You're not getting out of this that easily."
Her shoulders slumped. "Was worth a try."
I placed the pointer thing on the board. "I guess we just put our hands on it and start talking."
"We should say a prayer first, you know, for protection," Mel said.
"Go ahead."
"Why me? It's your Ouija Board."
"Because you're the practicing Catholic. Duh."
"That was a cheap shot."
"But true."
"Fine." She closed her eyes. "Heavenly Father, please keep us safe from harm and protect us from evil. Oh, and I'm sorry for all of the recent inappropriate thoughts about Ryan Reynolds. I'll get to the rest of my sins later. Amen."
I gave her the stink eye. "You're having X-rated thoughts about Ryan Reynolds? You know he's my imaginary boyfriend."
"Not in my imagination, he's not."
"So rude." I put the pointer on the board. "You ready?"
She sat on her hands. "Nope. My hands are cold
. Gotta warm them up first."
"Too bad. Put your hands on the pointer."
"I gotta pee."
"Now?"
She shrugged. "Fine, I'll wait. But you know this could end badly. What if it curses me and I can't have another orgasm or something?"
"Good Lord." I rubbed my hand over my face. "Can we just do this?"
She nodded. "But if something happens, I'm blaming you."
I had no idea what to do, so I just started talking. "We're trying to contact my mother, Fran Richter. Are you there, Ma? It's me, Angela."
Mel laughed.
"What?"
Are you trying to contact your mom or Judy Blume, because I think she's still alive."
It took me a second but I figured it out. "Oh geez."
We tried again. "Hello, this is Angela Panther. I'm trying to contact my mother, Fran Richter."
Nothing happened.
"Fran Richter. Hello? Come on, Ma."
The pointer moved.
I raised my eyes to Mel, but kept my hands on the pointer. "Is that you moving it?"
Her eyes widened. "Oh God. Oh God. Oh God."
Obviously not. "Keep your hands on the pointer, Mel."
"Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. We're gonna die."
"Hush, drama queen."
"I'm about to die or be rendered orgasm-less. I'm allowed to scream."
The pointer stopped on the word yes.
"Is this Fran? We don't want to talk to anyone but Fran, unless you're my dad. We'll talk to him, too. And my Auntie Rita, but no one else."
"Geesh, Ang, pick one."
"Shush." I focused on the pointer. "Ma, if it's you, what kind of candy did I steal from you as a teen?"
The pointer moved.
"Are you pushing it?" Mel asked.
I shook my head.
"It's a ghost. Frick. It's a ghost." Her body shook.
"Don't wet yourself," I said, holding in a laugh.
"I told you I had to pee."
"Oh geez."
The pointer moved to the letter H.
"H," she said.
It moved to the E.
"E."
"Yes, I can see that, Mel."
"Oh, sorry."
It spelled out Hershey and Mel squealed. "It's Fran!"
"Hold on, I need to verify. I don't wanna be duped."
"Yeah, demons do that," she said.
I ignored her. "Okay, Ma, if it's you, then tell me how many people in our family almost drowned."
Mel mouthed, "How many?"
I held my finger to my mouth. "Shush."
The pointer moved all the way around in a full circle and then down to the number zero.
"Zero, Ang. It's on zero. Is that right?"
I shook my head.
"Holy crap. It's a demon." Mel's hands flew off the pointer thingy and she backed away from the table.
"Put your hands back. I don't wanna lose the connection."
The pointer moved and spelled out the name Lisa.
Mel's mouth formed the shape of an O. "Who's Lisa? Is she a demon?"
I shrugged. "How should I know?"
"You know dead people."
"I knew a few dead people, briefly."
"Did you know a Lisa?"
"Not that I recall, no."
"Crap."
I turned my attention back to the Ouija Board. "Lisa. Hi Lisa," I said.
The pointer didn't move.
"Way to be polite," Mel said.
"I know, right?"
"Lisa, I'm trying to contact my mother, do you think you can help me?"
The pointer shot up to the word no.
Mel pulled her head back. "How rude."
I nodded. "Okay, then, why are you here?"
The pointer moved back to the middle and then landed on the W.
"W," Mel said.
"I can read, Mel."
"Oh, sorry."
It moved to the A.
"What do you think it's gonna spell?" Mel asked.
"Heck if I know. I'm not psychic."
"Well you sort of were."
"I could talk to dead people, I couldn't read their minds."
"Did they really have minds anyway? I mean, technically speaking."
"I don't know. I couldn't see inside of them."
"But you saw through them, so..."
"Are we really having this conversation? Right now?"
She shrugged. "I was just asking."
"I know but we need to focus."
She nodded, and the pointer moved to the R. "R."
"N," I said.
"I."
"N."
"G." Mel's hands shot off the pointer like it was on fire, and her eyes grew as wide as Asian eyes could. Which, by the way, wasn't much. "Holy crap. It's a warning."
"No, it spelled warning."
"Same thing in my book."
I placed my hands back on the pointer. "Put your hands back on it, too."
She shook her head and sat on her hands. "No way. I'm done."
"Do you want to find out about Nick?"
She shook her head. "No thanks, I'm good."
"Oh geez. Just one more time, it'll be quick."
She huffed, but did it, and her hands trembled on the pointer.
I laughed, and then focused all of my energy on the pointer. "Lisa, can you find my mother for me?"
The pointer shot across the Ouija Board from one letter to another. I looked at Mel and she shook her head as if to say she wasn't moving it. I mouthed, me neither, and then watched as it spelled out the word penis.
"Seriously?" I asked.
"Maybe Lisa's horny? She wouldn't be the only one," Mel said.
I shook my head, and the pointer moved to the word no and stayed there.
Mel's chin trembled and she pulled her hands away from the pointer. "That's it. I'm done now. We tried. Too bad, so sad." She stood up and bolted upstairs and the basement door slammed shut.
"Bwok! Bwok!" I yelled.
"Bite me!" She yelled back.
I said goodbye to Lisa and told her to vamoose, just in case. I wasn't worried about her warning, figuring it was only nonsense or a ghost joke I didn't get. I put the board back in the box and shoved it under the couch for the time being. I surveyed the mess Emily and her friends made and scowled. "She's so grounded for this," I said out loud. I flipped off the basement light and scurried to the stairs. On the first step something pierced my foot so I flipped the stair light on to see what it was. There, smack in the middle of the stair, sat a rock. "You've got to be kidding." I grabbed the rock and huffed my way up the stairs.
"Interesting," Mel said when I showed her the rock.
"Uh huh."
"What do you think it means?"
"Heck if I know, that's why I'm showing it to you."
She shrugged. "She's not my dead mother."
"Good point."
We sat at the kitchen table and picked at cupcakes. This time I picked at a vanilla one and Mel, confetti. I licked the frosting off the entire cupcake and then took a bite of the top. "Ohmygosh," I mumbled with the cupcake top stuffed in my mouth. "Thisissogood."
She pursed her lips, picked up her cupcake and then tossed it back onto the table. "You're having a cupcake-gasm." She picked her cupcake up again and gave it the once-over. "And this cupcake is doing nothing for me. Oh my God! I'm not even gonna have cupcake-gasms anymore either." She dropped her head onto the table and banged it twice. "Ouch," she said, sitting upright again and rubbing her head.
I laughed so hard I spit cupcake juice in her face. She picked a piece out of her eye. I flicked a piece off of her chin. "My bad."
"This is serious. Nick and I haven't had sex since the cell phone was invented. What if that's the last time?"
"It's not."
"How do you know?"
"Because I know. You're a beautiful, funny, amazing woman, and some guy is going to want to make you happy in every way possible."
"But what if
that can't happen? What if I'm not able to, you know?"
I put my elbows on the table and rested my head on them. I knew Mel was getting to something so instead of trying to pull it out of her, I cut to the chase. "Tell me."
She pulled her hair back into a ponytail. "What if I'm alone the rest of my life?"
I placed my hand on hers and squeezed. "You won't be. I may not be psychic but like I said, I can absolutely promise you that. You'll find love again and have the best sex of your life, too."
"Screw love. It's too complicated. I'll stick to just sex."
I mimicked my mother. "Ah Madone."
"It's true."
I took a sip of my coffee. "Coffee's cold. Want yours reheated?"
She handed me her cup. "Sure."
I took the lids off and put them in the microwave. I knew people said not to reheat coffee with cream but it hadn't killed me yet. "Do you want fresh cream?"
"Yes, please."
I grabbed the cream from the refrigerator and something behind me made a loud popping sound. I jumped and the cream container slipped from my hands and crashed to the floor. "What was that?"
Mel pointed to the microwave. "Uh, it's on fire."
"Shoot." I grabbed the paper towel roll and used it to poke the button to open the microwave. It stopped sparking. The inside was brown. "What the hell was that?"
"Looks like your microwave blew up," Mel said.
I furrowed my brow, and frowned. "Thanks. I couldn't tell."
I took out the coffees and poured them down the sink. "I think it's time for homemade coffee."
She nodded. "Me, too."
I turned on the light above the coffee pot and it went pop, like the microwave. "Seriously?"
"Maybe you have a blown circuit?"
I picked up the creamer container and set it on the counter. Mel got up and grabbed the paper towels and wiped up the floor.
"The box is in the basement," I said.
"Ain't no way in hell I'm going back down there. Lisa could be down there with some ghost penis or something."
I shook my head and muttered, "Good grief." I went to the basement and checked the breaker box but nothing was flipped.
Back upstairs, I whined to Mel. "That microwave was practically brand new."
"I'll go shopping with you if you'd like."
"Shopping sucks."
She hated that I hated shopping. "I don't know why we're best friends."
"Yin and yang," I said and then grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from the kitchen desk and wrote out of order on it and taped it to the microwave.
"Who do you think will try it first?"
Unbreakable Bonds (An Angela Panther Mystery Book 2) Page 6