Jake doesn’t say anything else to me for the rest of the game. We sit in silence as we watch Gabe’s team win. When the three whistles ring at the end, I see Kaleigh roll up her mat and walk over to us.
Jake kisses both kids and promises to see them next weekend. It’s his weekend, which means I get very familiar with my wine glass, my Kindle, and my couch. Netflix is also on deck for a big ol’ marathon!
I’m so excited to do absolutely nothing that whole weekend, I almost skip to the car.
By the time the baths are over and everyone is tucked in, I turn my phone on to set the alarm. I have five messages, all from Asshat.
Hello???
Did you get my messages?
Why aren’t you answering me?
Your professionalism is laughable. I don’t even know why I still have you as my PA. Do you even know what PA stands for?
Unbelievable! Just get my clothes.
I want to write him back to go fuck himself, him and his pencil dick, if he can even find it.
I whip the covers off and march to the hall closet, where I take out Gabe’s practical joke box he got for his birthday last year.
I open it, tossing aside the mustache glasses, Chinese finger traps, whoopee cushion, squirting ring, nail through finger, and electric shock buzzer, coming up with the itching powder. I take it out and close the box, replacing it on the top shelf.
I’ll show that asshat professionalism!
The next day, I get up, shower, and dress in a gorgeous royal blue wrap dress that I pair with a slim-fitting, tailored white blazer, since the dress is sleeveless. I quickly tuck the itching powder into my purse before the kids see it.
I make my way over to his dry cleaners, which is on the other side of town. Once I walk in, I give them his name and phone number, and collect his clothes.
There are about five suit jackets, ten pants, and twenty-five shirts. I have to walk to the car twice.
Once I’m inside the car, I open my purse and climb into the backseat.
I grab all his pants, taking one at a time, unfolding them neatly, and opening and sprinkling some powder in the crotch area, then pressing the legs together to rub it in a bit. I repeat this until all his pants are done.
I smile to myself, but then my phone rings, startling me as the sound fills the car, causing me to jump as I bobble the bottle. It goes flying, landing on the floor near my foot. I let out a little yelp as I kick it away.
I peek at my phone and see that it’s him.
“Hello?”
“Where are you? Why aren’t you here?”
“Where am I? Did you not tell me to go get your clothes from the cleaners this morning? The cleaners that, mind you, is half way to Guatemala,” I return tartly while climbing back into the front seat and starting up the car. “I’m on my way. What do I do with your clothes?” I ask him as I start making my way to work.
“What do you think you do with them? You bring them up!” he replies smartly.
“Bring them up? It took me two trips to get them all in the car. Are you even dressed?” I ask, merging on the highway. “What do you need for the meeting? I can bring up what you need, and then when I leave later, you can come down and get them from my car.”
“Ugh,” I hear him groan. “Okay, fine. Bring me up my black suit,” he says and hangs up. He doesn’t have to say anything, because the car lets me know, “Phone call disconnected.”
Asshole.
Once I get to work, I slide open the back door and look for his black suit, except almost all the suits are some shade of black. Fuck. Grabbing what I hope is a matching jacket and pants, I walk into my office building.
Looking at my watch, I see that it’s already nine a.m. Once I get to the floor and the door opens, I see Steven at the reception desk talking to Carmen.
“Good morning, guys,” I say, smiling to them while I fold Asshat’s suit over my arm.
Steven smiles at me shyly. “Morning. You’re late this morning. Is everything okay?” he asks.
“Oh yeah.” I point to the dry cleaning. “Had to get his laundry.”
“Right. Are you staying in for lunch?” Steven asks. I shake my head no.
“I’m actually thinking of going to this restaurant around the corner. They have little tables outside. And it’s beautiful today,” I say.
“That sounds delightful,” Steven says “What time are you going?”
“Probably around noonish.”
“Would you like some company?” He puts his hands in his pockets. It’s the same move that Austin uses, except with Steven it doesn’t fit.
“I would love some company. I’ll call you when I’m ready,” I say to him and then walk down the hall to my desk, dumping my purse on it before I walk to his office.
Seeing that the door is closed, I knock and wait for him to tell me to come in.
I open the door and see him behind his desk, eyes on the computer while he types away.
“Here is your dry cleaning. Where do you want it?” I ask him.
“Just put it over the back of the couch and check your email. There are a couple of things that need scheduling; also, we have the grand opening for the club in three weeks. You need to attend with me.”
“Which day?” I ask, trying to pull up my calendar in my head, hoping that I don’t have anything.
“You have all of that in your emails. Now, if you’re done asking me insignificant questions, you can go,” he dismisses me, not once looking at me. “And because you were late today, you are going to have to eat lunch here.”
“I wasn’t late. I was running an errand for you. Besides, I have plans at lunch.”
“Don’t care. Change them.” I’m about to tell him to suck a dick when Barbara knocks on the door and walks in.
“Good morning, you two. Austin, we are ready for you,” she says, and he gets up and walks out.
I’m stuck watching his back while he walks away. He never once makes eye contact with me.
I take in the jeans he’s wearing today. They hang low on his hips but are tight on his ass. And what an ass it is. The kind that makes you want to grab it and bite it.
Wait, what?! What the hell was that? I don’t like him. I really don’t like him! Not at all. Not even a little bit. In my head, he’s my sworn enemy. Now, if only someone would send that memo to the rest of my body!
Chapter Ten
AUSTIN
All night, I tossed and turned. The fact that I texted her and she didn’t answer me pissed me off. Again and again, I waited for her answer but got nothing. The thought of her with someone else irked me. I tossed, I turned, I got up, I looked outside.
I kept my phone near me all night, just in case she answered. Finally, around two a.m., I fell asleep, and when my alarm rang, I rushed, thinking the phone was ringing.
So here I am, still pissed off that she didn’t answer, mingling with the fact that I’m grumpy because I’m tired. And to top it all off, I have to go into a marketing meeting with Dani about the club that is opening in three weeks.
I also have to talk to John about the Christmas party that is coming up. I walk into the meeting with John and Steven, pissed off, because not only did Lauren just walk in, but she also looks hotter than she ever has. That dress wrapped around her catches every curve she has, and when she walks, you get a glimpse of her inner thighs.
So, now I’m sitting in this meeting with a hard-on. “Are we disturbing you, Austin?” I hear John ask.
I shake my head, leaning back in my chair, rocking. “Nope, I’m all ears.” He looks over at me, eyes narrowed speculatively as if he’s trying to figure me out.
“I think that’s all for now, Steven. You’re good to go,” John says while still looking at me.
“Perfect. If you guys need me, I’m headed out to lunch with Lauren, so I’ll be back after that,” he says, gathering his things and getting up from the table.
“No, you’re not,” I almost shout, and he stops picking his things up
to look at me. “She needs to set up for my meeting with Dani.” I grab my phone, sending her a message, telling her that I need her to set up for my meeting with Dani.
“Oh, okay,” he says, turning and walking out of the room.
“Want to tell me how she’s going to set up for your meeting with Dani when Dani is the one bringing everything for the meeting?”
I shrug my shoulders. “She needs to make sure we have water and shit.”
He slaps his hand down on the table and bursts out laughing. “You have it so bad for her, and you don’t even know it yet.”
“I don’t have anything bad. She almost killed me! I have to make her life a living hell.” But he doesn’t say anything; he just continues laughing. “She fucking put something in my Coke, and I thought I was shitting out my organs.”
He wipes the tears from the corners of his eyes. But just then the door is thrown open, and Noah saunters in. “What are you guys laughing about?” he asks, plopping himself down in the chair that Steven just vacated.
“Austin’s PA put something in his Coke, and he had the shits all night long,” John says between fits of laughter.
“It wasn’t all night long; it was till there was nothing left inside of me,” I correct him while Noah chuckles.
“Wow. I thought my PA hated me,” Noah says.
“She caught you fucking her mother on your desk,” I remind him.
“She didn’t knock. It wasn’t my fault.” He points at me.
“You had sex with her the day before,” I also point out.
He shrugs his shoulders, thinking nothing more of it. “At least she didn’t try to kill me.”
“She put your face on a billboard with your home address and open invitation for free lodging for the homeless,” John comments, still laughing.
“We don’t know if it was her,” I tell him. “I know that Lauren gave me something, that’s the difference here.”
“And didn’t you infect her computer with porn viruses?” John asks. “Barbara says you’re paying JP for that visit yourself, by the way.”
“You got her computer infected with porn? Oh, my fuck, you like her!” Noah accuses.
“How can I like someone who almost killed me? She also hates the fact of my very existence on this earth. Not to mention that she didn’t even answer my texts last night.”
“You texted her after hours?” Noah asks, confused.
“I needed her to pick up my dry cleaning.” I’m making excuses right now that are so lame not even I’m buying them. “Besides, you text your PA at night.”
“Yes,” Noah confirms. “For sex.”
I throw my hands up when they both laugh at me, then I look at my watch. “I’m not doing this. I have to get ready for Dani’s meeting.”
“Oh, yes, that’s right. The meeting Lauren has to ‘prepare’ for.” John even uses his hands to make air quotations. Noah continues laughing. Those bastards.
“Fuck off, the both of you.” I storm out of the conference room and run straight into Lauren. I wrap my arms around her so she doesn’t fall; one arm wraps around her waist easily, while the other brings her closer to me.
Her body fits mine perfectly. Her head tilts back, and I look into her eyes. They are startled at first, but then they turn softer. “Sorry,” she says, and I get a whiff of her berry scent. If I bent just a bit, my lips would touch hers. I would be able to find out if that shiny, pink lip gloss of hers tastes like strawberries. I’d find out how those plump lips feel against mine and if I could get her to light up for me. Maybe then I’d finally figure out how she really feels.
All these thoughts are running through my mind, and I decide I’m going to go for it, to finally scratch this itch that has been taunting me since the moment she got out of her car on the side of that road. Before I can do it, though, the conference room door opens and Noah and John both come walking out. Their laughter stops the second they take in the scene before them.
“Hey,” John says. Lauren pushes herself away from me.
“Hi, John. I wasn’t watching where I was going and slammed into Austin. He caught me before I fell.” She’s babbling so fast and nervously, I don’t think she realizes that it just makes us look even guiltier. “I’ve got to set up for the meeting. Excuse me,” She rushes out, walking past them.
“Dude, cover that shit up.” Noah points to my crotch, where it’s plain to see that I’m, once again, at full mast. They both start laughing at me.
I walk away from them, shaking my head while I attempt to cover my hard-on.
Walking into my office, I slam the door. Fuck me, I can still feel her full tits pressed to my chest. I rub my hands on my face. Shit!
I stay in my office and out of sight until I change into my black suit. I tuck my white shirt in and thread my black leather belt through the belt loops of my pants.
I grab the file and walk to the conference room where I hear Lauren’s laughter.
I open the door and see that she is talking to Dani. “Well, I’m glad I could help,” she says then looks at me. “If you need me, you can call me.” She gets ready to leave.
“Why don’t you stay and take notes?” I ask while I go to the head of the table and take a seat.
“Sure,” she replies and takes the seat to my left, leaving Dani to sit on my right.
Dani opens the plans for the restaurant first. “Now, if you look here, you can see that we added some booths upstairs that can be used for lunch or supper.”
I look at the plans, but then I feel a prickle in my balls. So I adjust myself in the seat while she continues. “One thing I was thinking was that for supper, we can do a Tapas menu upstairs and at the bar, and stop serving at eleven. Which is good, since we won’t have to move anything. We can also use the booths for a VIP section.” She continues talking, but I’m having trouble focusing on her words, because my balls are starting to burn.
So, I pull my pants away from them, thinking that they are squeezing them.
“That sounds like a good plan. Can we also do some couples’ booths?” I ask her right before I feel another prickle and then another. Fuck, is there a mosquito stuck in my pants?
“That’s a great idea! I’ll look into that right away and get back to you with specifics,” Dani says.
“I’d love to go out to a club with my friends and not have to deal with drunk, aggressive guys all night,” Lauren puts in.
“I hear you. I’d love to do a girls’ section,” Dani says. “With booths all the way around the perimeter and comfy seating clusters, so you can sit down when your feet hurt.”
“Yes! That’s a really great idea. I love that!” Lauren answers enthusiastically.
I’m trying to concentrate, but my pants are starting to suffocate my balls. Jesus, did the cleaners shrink my fucking pants? What the hell?
“Excuse me.” I get up and walk quickly to the bathroom in my office.
The minute I pull my pants down, I start scratching. It feels like my balls are on fire. I yank down my boxers and gasp out loud.
My balls have ballooned to three times their normal size. Well, one looks like it’s twice its normal size, while the other is even bigger than that. Oh my god! What the hell?! I start to panic and pull my phone out of my pocket to call John.
“You need to come to my office right now,” I demand and then hang up. I take a picture of my balls with my phone to inspect them closer.
I grimace at what I see. Holy fuck, they are huge and red, and are those bumps?
I hear John call my name. I open the door just enough to pop my head out. “Come here!”
“Ummm, no way. What the fuck, man? I thought you were in trouble,” he says and turns to walk out.
“John! Get the fuck in here,” I whisper-yell angrily through my clenched teeth.
He walks in, and I close the door as he looks down and gasps, taking in the state of my balls. “What the fuck, dude?!”
“I don’t know what’s going on! I was sitting in
the meeting when I felt a prickling sensation. I thought my pants were just tight. Dude.” I look down. “My balls.”
I look up again to see that John is standing there, a hand over his mouth, his eyes wide. “You need to go to the doctor. Jesus, do you think they’ll explode?” he wonders as he crouches down—a little too close considering our relationship—to get a better look.
“Get the fuck away from my balls, please,” I snap while I take my phone out and call Noah. “If anyone knows anything about this kind of thing, it’s Noah. Didn’t he get crabs from some chick in the Hamptons once?”
He answers on the first ring, “Yo,” and I put him on speaker.
“When you got crabs, did your balls swell?” I ask, closing my eyes. I haven’t had sex in about a month, so I have no idea if this is some sort of a delayed reaction.
“You have crabs?” he asks instead of answering my question.
“I have no idea. My balls are on fire and have swelled up to the size of a baseball,” I explain while I continue to scratch them.
“Don’t touch them,” John says from his side on the phone. “I’m Googling this. Can I take a picture?” he asks right before he looks up and sees the glare on my face.
“Oh, send me a picture, too,” Noah says while John continues to mess with his phone.
“It says something might have ruptured or you could have a hernia. Did you lift something heavy?” he asks while continuing to read.
“I was in a fucking meeting! I lifted a goddamn water bottle!” I look down at my balls, which seem to have gotten even bigger. “Oh my god, I think they’re getting bigger.”
“Can someone please send me a picture?” Noah begs through his laughing.
“I’m not sending you a picture of my balls, man,” I say.
“You really need to get that checked out,” John says. “I’ll call Phil, maybe he’s on duty.”
“What color are they?” Noah is still chuckling.
“Fuck you.” The itch is so bad I can’t stop scratching.
Tempt The Boss Page 7