The Courtship of Julian St. Albans

by Crook, Amy

  Julian blinked. “What, no. Why? I mean, if I couldn’t get out of having one in the first place…” he trailed off, waiting for James to explain.

  “Your relationship with your fiancé, genuine though your affections may have been, has been shown by the Agency to have been magically manipulated,” said James gently.

  “And magical coercion can, if proven, be grounds for dissolution of a lot of otherwise legally binding situations,” said Alex. “That’s very clever.”

  Julian snuggled into Alex as he processed this idea, sipping the herbal tea Jacques had insisted they all switch to, another restorative tisane that seemed to be for the grieving Julian as much as Alex. “I shall consult my lawyer again,” said Julian, after a few minutes of silence. “You will all keep it in confidence?”

  “Cross my heart,” said Alex, kissing Julian’s hair. “After all, if I got a chance to ask you out without the threat of running your whole estate, I might even put out.”

  That made them all laugh, and the Guardians promised that Julian’s secrets were safe with them. Then Jacques and James cleared away the remains of the meal, leaving them all with tea, and James started the dishwasher while Jacques retrieved the cards they’d been using last night.

  “Gin?” he asked hopefully.

  Julian grinned, relaxing even more. “I’d love to.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Julian’s keepers came to get him before dinner, in the form of his driver and a few stern texts from Emmeline. They parted with a few extra kisses and a promise from Alex to make sure he was rested up for their date, which was coming up quite fast indeed. Once the door was closed, the two Guardians gave him a teasing applause.

  “You are so gone for him,” teased James.

  “And he for you,” said Jacques. “He seems very sweet.”

  “He’s shy, but he’s actually interesting once he relaxes and opens up,” said Alex, feeling a little exposed. “He’s been through a lot, anyone would be a bit thin after that.”

  “That they would,” agreed Jacques, giving Alex’s back a pat. “You’ve been cooped up all day, and resting very well like a good boy, do you want to go out for dinner or eat in?”

  Alex chuckled. “Can I drag you out to curry even though we had it last night?” he asked. “After I read Julian’s letter, though.” Julian had taken Horace, but left a letter for Alex to answer using more mundane means.

  “Of course,” said James. “We’ll clean up and get ready.”

  “I’m always up for curry,” said Jacques, and they left him to it.

  Julian’s letter was full of the sadness he’d not been able to express properly until he had his cry on Alex’s shoulder. It made the lines heavy and fretful, concerned not just for Alex but any of the other suitors as well. Alex knew their villain couldn’t risk using murder to thin the crowd too much more for fear of exposing himself, but he understood Julian’s concern, especially where Alex’s own tender and much-endangered skin was concerned.

  Alex took the time to write back, warm words full of comfort, and promises again that he was working very hard, at least when he was conscious. He told Julian with all sincerity how much his visit had meant, both that Julian had trusted him to share his grief, and also stayed to share his friendship with Alex as well. He admitted to a little bit of envy for Horace who got to snuggle up to Julian even when Alex could not.

  He signed it with affection and called Jones and a courier both when he was done.

  “About ready?” asked Alex, standing and stretching, then grabbing his cane before he tried to walk. His leg was slowly healing, but it still ached from yesterday’s long hours of work and neglect.

  “When you are,” replied James, who was back with his little puzzle on the couch.

  “I’ll just go freshen up while we wait for Jones, then,” said Alex. He vanished into his room and emerged with a jacket on, his usual pre-Courtship black and more black with the crisp white shirt that had fortunately escaped any embarrassing stains now that Julian’s tears had dried. Alex didn’t want to admit he’d kept it on because it still smelled faintly of Julian.

  Everyone was ready when Alex emerged, and they headed down to the car, James assuring him that the note for Julian had gone with the courier already. They went, not to the takeaway place that the Guardians had already found, but to a little restaurant that seemed like a hole in the wall until you went inside and saw that it was a beautifully decorated series of rooms, including some smaller private alcoves and a larger central room that held a buffet at lunch and on Sundays.

  “Alex!” said the proprietress, a cheerful older Indian woman who was the owner’s wife and mother to much of the staff. “You haven’t been by in a while.”

  “Sorry, Padma,” said Alex sheepishly. “This is James and Jacques, my temporary Guardians. Can we have a small room please?”

  She chuckled. “You’re lucky there’s one left, and it’s even the same one I have reserved for you on Friday so your Guardians can check it out.”

  “You’re a doll,” said Alex with a grin, gesturing for them to follow as she led them back through the maze of patterned metal screens and beautiful artwork to the back corner, where there was a room with no door and a table just big enough for four. A screen off to one side would cover the doorway once they were seated, angled so the servers could come in but the occupants were hidden from casual view.

  “So this is what you had planned,” said Jacques, looking around the little room appreciatively. The furnishings were a bit worn, but the art on the walls was traditional if not museum quality, and the whole place had an air of well-loved elegance about it.

  “Someone suggested to me I ought to show Julian a bit of my own life,” said Alex with a chuckle. “You will be pleased to know I’ve got something planned for back at the flat afterward, so you’ll only have to worry about us on the drive and while we’re here.”

  “Do you want us to stay outside?” asked James, quite seriously.

  Alex chuckled. “No, no, a third Courtship date isn’t meant to end in bed, you’ll be fine, though I will take over the living room so you’ll mostly be lurking in the kitchen, I expect.”

  “We lurk very well,” said James with a laugh.

  Their waiter showed up then, and they busied themselves with ordering, chatting familiarly and coming to an agreement on a nice, big family-style meal with a bit of everyone’s favourites and a lot of chai. Jacques made them all get mango lassis as well, which amused the waiter, but he declared that they needed the nutrients and they acquiesced readily enough. The meal passed like one between friends, and Alex had a pang when he thought that he might not ever see his two Guardians again, once the case was done and life had moved on.

  “Do you ever keep in touch with your previous charges?” asked Alex, nibbling on a pakora.

  “Sometimes,” said Jacques.

  “We will with you,” said James, giving Jacques a poke. “We only lose touch with the boring ones.”

  “Mostly the politicians, ugh,” added Jacques.

  The thought was derailed when more food arrived and they started eating in earnest, talking mostly about the food this time, since Alex would be expected to mostly do the ordering. They’d talked about food some with Julian last night, and so Alex had an idea already of what he might like, but it felt good to have someone to discuss his ideas with.

  “How’s the leg?” asked James, when they were sighing happily over sweets and yet more tea.

  Alex sighed. “I think it’s improving, yesterday was a bit too much so it aches today.”

  Jacques nodded. “You’ve been limping more and making that face, like you think it’s all very inconvenient.”

  That made them all laugh, and Alex shrugged. “It is all very inconvenient, but better inconvenienced than dead.”

  “So mote it be,” said James, and they all clinked their teacups in a toast to that very wise sentiment.

  ~ ~ ~

  Alex was grateful for the day of rest
, because the next day brought more PT in the morning and a crime scene in the afternoon, one that stank of old blood after two days. It had clearly been carnage much like the artificer, with poor Pembroke helpless against the construct, which the lab declared was probably something like an earwig.

  Alex shuddered at the thought.

  “Let’s see if we can find how it got in through the wards,” said Alex, proper latex gloves and tools at the ready. He struck his tuning fork, pacing around first the room and then outside, the Guardians following along, and Lapointe as well to be sure he didn’t wander in on anyone in the loo or anything.

  Though they did, in fact, find the ward-breach in a water closet, it was unoccupied at the time. A small leak had worn away both physical and magical structure, giving just enough space for the construct to wriggle in and go hunting for its prey.

  Alex spared a moment to be grateful for his freshly checked wards, then showed Lapointe and let the crime scene techs take over so he could go home.

  Home sounded wonderful, and very safe.

  ~ ~ ~

  Thursday Alex declared he was just damned tired, and if anyone wanted to talk to him they could come to the flat, which resulted in a small stream of people and Alex sulking about in his pyjamas and dressing gown anyway. Lapointe and Smedley spent the morning there together getting Alex’s various statements put together. Geoff came and claimed the couch for an hour after lunch now that his healing was nearly done and he’d been released from the hospital. Victor came by to make sure Alex wasn’t going to embarrass the family for his third date, and then Henry came by to make annoying comments about Alex’s wardrobe.

  Alex was in a deeply grumpy mood by the time he kicked Henry out, and so he flopped dramatically on the sofa and called out to his Guardians, “Pizza?”

  Jacques leaned against the kitchen door and grinned. “Pizza, and then you are going to go meditate or take a bath or masturbate yourself blind or something, because you are a very cranky man.”

  Alex laughed, wry but genuine. “Yeah, I am,” he agreed, pulling out his phone. “What d’you guys want on yours? I’ll get three and then we can have leftovers.”

  “Something with lots of meat,” said James, flopping into one of the chairs. “Is there one of those special things?”

  “Yeah, they’ve got something like that,” said Alex, “How about you?”

  Jacques had found the actual menu and was looking it over. “I’ll have the spinach one,” he said, pointing it out to Alex before showing James the meat one. When James nodded agreement, Alex dialled and ordered for all three of them, grateful for delivery service.

  Once Alex had hung up, James looked at him with a not-quite-serious expression and asked, “Will you masturbate yourself blind?”

  “Of course not,” said Alex, “I’d be even crankier if I was blind.”

  They made more juvenile jokes until the pizza showed up, and Jacques went to answer the door. Everything seemed to go fine until Jacques went to close the door and they all heard a small but distinct, “Oof.”

  Alex sprang up, whistling to activate the revealing-wards, and then laughed when he saw who had been caught in them. “Didn’t think I’d get to it so fast, I take it?” he asked with a grin.

  Con glared up at Alex, annoyed. “I’m back for m’whiskey, like you promised.”

  “Is that the only reason you’re back?” asked Alex, mostly for the benefit of the two Guardians who looked like they were about ready to see if pulverised earth sprite was any good on pizza.

  Con looked shifty, then sighed. “I might have some more information to bargain for yeh, if’n you keep them big brutes away from me tender hide.”

  Alex chuckled. “You may enter as a guest,” he said, “or not at all.”

  “Ooh, guest-rights for little ol’ me?” said Con, perking up. “I’ll take it!”

  “So mote it be,” said Jacques, turning to take the pizzas to the kitchen. Alex whistled the little sprite free of the wards, and escorted him to the sofa before heading to his lab for the last bottle of whiskey.

  “So,” he said, pleased to see the little sprite had been offered tea in his absence, “what do you want for your information?”

  Con took a long sip of his tea, making enough room for a bit of the whiskey Alex was holding, no doubt. “I ain’t decided yet,” yet said, holding out his hand for the bottle.

  Alex trusted he knew his own strength and handed it over, watching the little sprite do something that made his eyes ache a bit so that suddenly the cup was full and the bottle a bit more empty, and sitting on the table. “Not sure how valuable your info is, then,” said Alex, amused. “Thanks,” he added sheepishly, when Jacques came over to push him down into a seat and give him food and tea.

  “So, this is the earth sprite from the other night?” asked James. He was still giving Con the side-eye a bit, but they’d both relaxed since guest-rights were agreed upon.

  “Right,” said Alex, between bites of pizza. “He left the whiskey here in my trust, so I was expecting him back.”

  “I weren’t ‘specting to get caught in yon wards,” said Con with grudging admiration.

  Alex chuckled. “You had a little help last time, someone planted a ward-breaking device in my dry cleaning.”

  “Oooh, so they wasn’t all your fault, the holes I wriggled through,” said Con with a chuckle. “Well, it turned out all right for me, din’t it?”

  “For both of us,” said Alex, slowing down now that he had one slice in him. “What sort of thing are you wanting, a favour, a bauble, more whiskey?”

  Con chuckled. “You magic-types is too worried about this and that to relax and enjoy,” he said, having a nibble of the bread and honey Jacques had found for him in lieu of the pizza the men were eating. “Eat your food, Mage.”

  “Yes, yes,” said Alex, rolling his eyes. “But I want to strike this bargain before you leave and take your information elsewhere.”

  “As do I,” agreed Con.

  After that, the four of them concentrated on enjoying their individual portions, the silence punctuated by requests for refills of tea or a passed napkin. Once their plates were empty and cups filled enough times, Con cleared his throat.

  “I been thinkin’ I got two bits of info for you,” he said, swinging his feet over the edge of the sofa in a strangely childlike manner. “‘Cos I see you ain’t got your fridge fixed yet, neither.”

  “And you did say you knew a brownie who might help,” said Alex, nodding. “Yes, all right. So, I ask again, whiskey, favours or trinkets?”

  “Well, you see,” said Con, shifting a bit, “I got this lady-sprite I been tryin’ t’woo, an’ she likes me bits and bobs wot used to be magical,” he said, pointing to the various bits of rune-etched metal decorating his clothing, “So I was thinkin’ a properly magical somethin’ might win her.”

  “What sort of something?” asked Alex. If Con just wanted something that was magic without caring much what it did, it would be easy enough for Alex to create something for him.

  Con shifted again. “Well, you got lotsa cufflinks an’ tie pins, an’ I were thinkin’ of the ones you got that glow all special.”

  Alex chuckled. “What if I made you something else that glowed? It doesn’t take a lot of magic, and that way it can be made to your size, like a pendant or bracelet.”

  Con looked surprised, clearly having expected to be shot down. “You c’n do that?”

  Alex chuckled. “Of course I can, I am a mage,” he said. “If you promise not to touch anything, I’ll take you into my lab and you can choose a stone that’s not too valuable, and a metal for the setting, and I’ll do it in the next moon.”

  “For that, you ought to get three bits of information,” said Con thoughtfully, clearly wanting to be known for striking a fair bargain. “I can owe you one?”

  “Three bits of information for one glowing pendant,” said Alex, holding out his hand. “It’s a bargain.”

  Con shook on it, s
olemn as before, as oaths and deals were very serious business to the fae. “You’re a good ‘un, I’ll be sure it’s known,” he said, nodding. “Just let me finish my tea, and we’ll talk.”

  Alex smiled. “Of course,” he said, sitting back to savour his own cup. He had no worries that the sprite would leave without imparting his bits of wisdom, he’d shown himself to be a good-hearted creature, if a bit thieving, and honourable in the way of his kind.

  “So, you been havin’ trouble with yon nasties comin’ to life an’ goin’ after coppers, right?” said Con, once he’d set down his empty cup with a satisfied sigh.

  “That’s true,” said Alex, a bit surprised the sprite knew about it.

  “Well, I was thinkin’ about how I got into the first place, with the man who fixes magic bits and bobs, an’ I remembered him as what caught me before sayin’ that he’d fixed it so I could get in.” Con gave Alex an expectant look, as if willing him to connect the dots.

  “So, you’re saying there’s one of those ward-disruption devices among the evidence we collected?” asked Alex, just to be sure.

  “I reckon so, ‘specially if it were how he got me in here,” said Con, looking smug. “If it ain’t in one of them fancy boxes, it’d mess up everything just a little bit, ‘cos them boxes ain’t meant to keep stuff out.”

  “And you would know that because?” asked Alex, curiously.

  Con just smirked. “I got my ways,” he said. “Now, let’s look at yon baubles, an’ I’ll tell you how to call the brownie, he’s expectin’ ya so he won’t be mad.”

  “So not his true name, then,” said Alex with a chuckle. “That’s good, I wasn’t wanting to make a bauble that fancy while I’m still healing.”

  Con chuckled. “No, no, that ain’t mine to bargain away.” He hopped down from the couch, leaving empty cup, plate and bottle behind as he tottered over toward the door to the lab. “I admit I’m right curious ‘bout whatcha got in here.”