Finding Joy (Love's Compass Book 5)

by Melanie D. Snitker

  She withdrew her hand and immediately wished she hadn’t. “Thank you.” She finished cleaning up her spilled coffee.

  “For what it’s worth, I think you’d be a great mom. The way you dote on your nephew and your determination to be a better parent than what you grew up with.” Parker’s voice trailed off. He appeared wistful for a moment before a sparkle came to his eye. “I’ve got a dock that needs staining on Monday. If you’re in need of a little Mr. Miyagi-style therapy.”

  Chelsea laughed loudly at that, and it felt good. “You know, I may have to take you up on that.” The memory of their kiss there made her neck hot. Going back probably wasn’t the best idea. The thoughtful look on Parker’s face suggested he was remembering the same thing. The air was heavy with what neither of them were willing to voice.

  ~

  Parker hated that Chelsea seemed to be uncomfortable as they waited for their meal. He shouldn’t have mentioned the dock. Now, conversation was forced. He wanted to address the kiss directly, but Daisy came by the table once to refill their drinks. When she wasn’t doing that, she was hovering nearby.

  If he could find a moment to speak to her privately… Just the thought had his stomach doing somersaults. What if his interest in her was completely one-sided?

  Daisy returned then with their food. The chicken fried chicken he’d ordered nearly covered the large plate. A generous helping of mashed potatoes with gravy and corn completed the meal. It smelled delicious.

  Chelsea thanked Daisy and immediately sipped at a spoonful of broth. She released a contented sigh and relaxed against her seat. “Now that’s what I needed right there. Daisy’s soup reminds me of one of my favorite nannies. She made the best soup I’d ever eaten. When I was sick, she always brought me a bowl. It never failed to make me feel better.”

  Parker smiled at her, relieved to have a change in topic. He was also thankful for these little insights into Chelsea and how it had been for her growing up.

  He forced his attention from her face and took the first bite of his meal, confirming he’d be eating the entire thing. It just goes to show you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. He’d normally never come into this diner based on its location. But obviously, he’d been missing out on some good food.

  They kept the conversation light. Mostly centered around the cold weather and the cattle. By the time they finished their meal, he was glad to find Chelsea had returned to her happy self. Daisy tried to convince them they should have dessert but they both declined.

  “I should probably get home.” Chelsea’s voice held a hint of regret.

  Parker could certainly relate. He didn’t want to say goodbye. “I’ll walk you back to your car.” He paid for their meal, despite Chelsea’s offer to pay for her own. Then he followed her out of the little diner. “You’re right, the food there was great. I’ll have to remember that.” It didn’t hurt that it was only a few doors down from where Chelsea lived.

  She’d put her coat back on and was fiddling with the sleeve. “I appreciate dinner. Thank you. I’m sorry if I wasn’t good company.”

  “You were fine.” He walked beside her back to her car. “At least you don’t have far to drive.”

  Chelsea chuckled. “It’d probably be faster to walk, but I can’t keep it parked in front of Daisy’s.” She shrugged. The awkwardness had returned. She was kicking at something invisible on the sidewalk.

  Parker swallowed hard. “Look, about the other day at the pond. I hadn’t planned to kiss you, but…”

  “I know.” She sighed, her breath morphed into a cloud of fog in front of her. “It was a mistake. I work for you, Parker. We can’t…”

  The kiss probably was a lapse in judgment, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t regret it for a second. Chelsea’s gaze remained on her feet and Parker hooked a finger under her chin to raise her eyes to his. “It wasn’t a mistake.”

  Her breath hitched, and she nervously ran her tongue across her bottom lip, which only drew Parker’s attention to her mouth. The need to kiss her again — to hold her in his arms — was overwhelming. “Chelsea, I…”

  Daisy burst through the door of her diner waving something in her hand. “Chelsea! Honey, you forgot your scarf.”

  Chelsea met his eyes and took a step backwards, away from his hand. Away from him. “Thanks, Daisy.” She gave the older woman a hug and took her scarf. “I’m going to need this.”

  Daisy gave them a happy wave before going back inside.

  Parker peered at the darkening sky above them and forced back a groan of frustration. When he looked at Chelsea’s face again, he could tell that the moment had passed. She was clutching the scarf like a lifeline. He steeled himself for what she was about to say.

  “I can’t do this.” Her voice was so quiet, it was barely audible. Yet the words still managed to hit his heart with the force of a bullet.

  “I’ve made some less than stellar choices lately. But when I’m around you, I want to be a better person.” How could he get her to understand what was in his heart when he wasn’t even sure of it himself?

  Chelsea shook her head and moved a hand toward his cheek. Just before touching him, she pulled it back down again. “It’s not that. Please believe me. I can’t jeopardize this job. There’s too much at stake right now with my parents here and Laurie needing my help.” She pressed a finger to her temple. “I’m sorry.” Her eyes begged him to understand.

  He wanted to argue with her. Ask for clarification. Did that mean she felt something for him, too? If he weren’t her employer, would she be responding differently? Every insecurity he’d experienced in the last year crashed into him like a tidal wave. He could almost feel the searing pain along his right side as his scars reminded him of who he was now.

  Parker forced himself to give her a nod and then watched her get into her car for the short drive to her place. He waited until she was safely inside, casting one last look his way, before he got into his SUV.

  The day had been packed with revelations, more than Parker could process. His mind and heart were full of confusing thoughts and emotions, completely overwhelming him. He let his forehead fall against the top of his steering wheel. “Okay, God. You brought Chelsea to the ranch for a reason. Knowing her has given me some direction in my life. And now this.” He paused, grasping onto the one thing that echoed in his heart more than anything else. He was falling in love with Chelsea and the realization was both scary and exhilarating. “Please tell me you didn’t bring her into my life only to have her leave again.”

  Patience.

  Parker jolted upright. He hadn’t heard the word so much as felt it, but it may as well have come from the seat next to him.

  He’d been going through life on his own for a long time now and didn’t have a lot to show for it. Maybe it was time to trust that God knew what He was doing.

  Peace flooded Parker. He prayed for Chelsea and her family as he drove past the studio and headed home.

  Chapter Fourteen

  When Chelsea’s alarm woke her up on Monday morning, she had a hard time getting her eyes to focus. After all the crying she did last night, they were puffy and heavy. Just when she thought she’d cried herself out, Laurie had called to ask how she was doing and the waterworks started all over again.

  She sat up and then let herself flop back down onto her bed, snuggling under the covers. Forget work. Forget the ranch. Maybe the whole thing was more trouble than it was worth. She closed her eyes and tried to fall back to sleep. Merely five minutes passed by before she heaved a sigh and sat up again.

  Chelsea was too responsible for that. No matter how awkward it might be at work today, she had to go. She’d never simply not shown up for work in the past, and she wasn’t about to start now.

  Parker’s face drifted to mind. Goosebumps peppered her arms like they had last night outside the diner. If Daisy hadn’t interrupted them…

  She’d wanted him to kiss her so badly, despite every alarm going off in her head t
o the contrary. If he’d gotten the chance, she had no doubt she’d have kissed him back.

  Telling him she needed some distance had been one of the hardest things she’d ever had to do. The hurt in his eyes had only compounded the pain in her heart. How was she going to face him today?

  There were no tears left, otherwise she’d be crying again.

  Laurie had assured her everything would be fine. That she shouldn’t let their parents drive her to this extreme. Deep down, Chelsea knew she was right. But it was impossible for her to push that aside. Especially when she wasn’t sure whether what Parker felt for her was more than a fleeting interest. She couldn’t afford to lose her job right now and then have it not work out between them. One way or another, she would prove to her parents she could be just as successful and independent as Laurie.

  By the time she arrived at the ranch, she’d decided to eat lunch at her desk for the time being and try to focus on her work. When her cell phone pinged, Chelsea pulled it out of her pocket and read the text from Laurie.

  “The pediatrician stopped by, and Nicholas is coming home with us this afternoon. Oh, Chelsea. This is the best day. God is so good!”

  That was the kind of news Chelsea needed to turn her day around. Instead of focusing on her own issues, she planned on what she’d drop off at their house for dinner the following day. Tuck’s whole family was coordinating to make sure the new family of three wouldn’t have to cook for a week. Chelsea was thankful to be an extended part of the Chandler clan.

  She managed to get through the week, which included another awkward dinner with her parents. The topic of her life and what she was doing with it never came up again. But Chelsea swore the temperature of the room dropped fifteen degrees while they were all together. It was fine by her. She’d take their stony silence over anything they might say.

  Other than the notes waiting for her when she arrived at work, she didn’t hear a thing from Parker. Truthfully, her days were long, lonely, and depressing. Even though her brain kept assuring her this was the right thing to do, it still hurt. She missed seeing him and spending time with him.

  Chelsea had to finish a few things Friday evening and she was a little late leaving work. She’d just gathered her things and gone downstairs when she turned a corner and ran smack into a solid chest. “Oh!” Strong arms came out to steady her.

  “You okay?”

  Parker’s voice did strange things to her heart. It was racing a mile a minute while simultaneously, she felt more at peace than she had all week.

  She blinked as she looked up at him. “I’m sorry about that. I wasn’t paying enough attention.”

  His hands lingered on her shoulders before letting them drop to his sides, his hazel eyes conflicted. “Well, I’m back sooner than I would normally be.” Parker took his cell phone out. “I got a call from the hospital. One of the boys who’s been there for weeks has gotten worse. He was asking to see Happy and they called me. I’m heading over there.”

  The poor guy seemed nervous. Before she could think things through and second guess herself, she trusted her initial reaction. “Would you like some company?”

  His eyes widened before relief crossed his face. “I would. You want to follow me, that way you don’t have to come back here afterwards?”

  “Sure.”

  “I need to run and change clothes. Can I meet you in front of the house in ten minutes?”

  She nodded and he left at a jog, Happy on his heels.

  They made their way back to town and the hospital. Chelsea pulled into the parking spot next to Parker and got out. As they walked side by side to the entrance, Chelsea noticed that he was holding the handle of Happy’s leash tightly enough to turn his knuckles white. He hadn’t said a word, either.

  “I hope the little boy’s going to be okay.”

  He only nodded, his jaw clenched.

  With no idea what to expect when they got to the pediatric ward, Chelsea prayed the entire way there. Lord, I don’t know how sick this little boy is. But I pray You give the doctors and nurses the knowledge they need to treat him. She looked over at Parker as they rode the elevator to the second floor. And give Parker peace and the words he needs when he goes in there.

  The elevator doors opened and a nurse waved them over. Parker reached for Happy and picked him up. “Thank you for coming, Parker. Kay left a note about you earlier.” The nurse, with the name Camille on her badge, lowered her voice. “Norman’s got double pneumonia. With his lowered immune system, this is dangerous. But he kept asking about Happy and wondering if you were coming back soon. His parents asked if there was any way to get you here early. They thought it might cheer him up a little.”

  Parker breathed deeply and gave a firm nod. “Certainly. Happy and I are glad to be here.” He put a hand against Chelsea’s lower back and introduced her.

  Camille smiled at her. “I’m glad you could come as well. Let me show you to Norman’s room.”

  Parker continued to hold Happy, and he seemed okay. But Chelsea could tell by the tightness in his jaw and the way he kept his eyes straight ahead that he was nervous.

  The moment they stepped into the boy’s room, all of that faded away.

  A five-year-old boy was lying on the bed, numerous wires and tubes running from his body. He opened his eyes, saw Parker and Happy, and perked up.

  A man and woman in the room, who Chelsea assumed were the boy’s parents, lit up when their son did. The three were bystanders as Parker placed Happy on the bed. As if he understood the situation, Happy carefully lay down next to Norman, his tail wagging and his tongue going a mile a minute as he licked the boy’s hand and face.

  Parker sat down on the chair next to the bed. “You know what? Happy wanted to bring you one of his favorite bones. I had to tell him that boys don’t like to chew on bones like dogs do.”

  Norman chuckled. He looked delighted, but the paleness of his skin, the dark circles under his eyes, and the sound of his coughs revealed how sick he was.

  His mother came over to Chelsea, her hands clasped at her chest. “Norman always talks about Happy’s visits. Parker’s great with the kids. That he makes a point of coming here to visit them matters a lot.”

  Chelsea’s heart welled with pride as Parker joked and managed to get several good laughs out of Norman before the boy began to yawn. That’s when he took his cue. “We’d better go and let you get some sleep, buddy. But we’ll be back Monday night. I’m hoping, though, that you’ll be feeling so much better you’ll be home instead of here.”

  At that comment, Norman’s face fell. “Then I won’t get to see you and Happy again.”

  “Are you kidding? I’m giving your mom and dad my phone number. And when you’re home, all they have to do is call me and I’ll come visit.”

  “Happy, too?” Norman’s eyes were hopeful.

  Parker laughed. “Yes, Happy, too.”

  Norman gave him a thumbs up and yawned again. Parker ruffled his hair before picking Happy back up and stepping outside.

  The boy’s parents followed and the men shook hands. “Thanks for coming. It was important to Norman. To us.”

  Parker shuffled his feet. “I meant what I said about calling me when he’s well and home again.” He took a card out of his wallet and handed it to them. “You’ve got a special boy in there. We’re praying for him.”

  “Thank you again.” The couple put arms around each other and gave them watery smiles before going back in with their son.

  ~

  Parker let out a relieved breath and strode for the elevator. When they got inside, he let himself lean against the wall. Every ounce of courage he had drained right out of him. He’d had no idea what he was going to say to Norman when he walked in there. The moment he saw how fragile the boy appeared, he’d almost lost it. But that wasn’t what Norman needed. No matter how worried Parker was about Norman, seeing the boy smile and laugh made it all worthwhile.

  “You were amazing in there,” Chelsea said fro
m a couple feet away as the elevator carried them back downstairs. “You made a big difference in Norman’s life tonight.” She reached over and rubbed Happy’s ear. “You both did.”

  “Seeing him like that…” Parker shook his head. “No kid should have to be that sick.” The elevator doors opened and he made a beeline for the exit. He needed the fresh air and sucked in a lungful once outside. Happy squirmed, and Parker set him back down on the pavement. For the first time since they’d left Norman’s room, Parker let himself relax a little and turned to face Chelsea. “Thank you for coming with me. I needed that moral support.”

  She offered him a little smile. “You’re welcome. I wouldn’t have wanted to come alone, either.” She shivered as a breeze blew through. It was getting dark now and the temperature was falling. “I’ll be praying he recovers quickly. Will you do me a favor?”

  Her request piqued his interest. “What’s that?”

  “If you get any kind of status updates on him, will you let me know? I’m going to be wondering and praying this weekend.”

  “Yeah. I’ll text you.” They walked in silence back to their vehicles. Parker opened his SUV door, and Happy jumped in.

  He and Chelsea stood there, studying each other, for several breaths. He ought to say goodbye and let her get out of the cold. But after not seeing her for six excruciatingly long days, being with her now felt like a little slice of paradise. It’d been torture keeping his distance all week. He’d caught sight of her a handful of times, and with each, it was like fighting the current to go in the opposite direction.

  Now that they were in the same place and talking, he didn’t want to give that up. “Is there any chance I could buy you a hot chocolate?” He tipped his head toward a small coffee shop across the street. Please say yes.