A Broken World

by Andrew Lauck

  Hensley and Burke set about checking the bodies for anything useful. Before, people would check bodies for money or identification, but now those meant nothing. You were no longer your job, your house, or your past. You were a nameless survivor; the life you were creating in that moment. Schafer had it right, and he had learned to play the game of survival. One set of keys, a lighter, and one new pen for my journal later, we left the park.

  We went back to the town and continued to check buildings as we went, leaving dead bodies in our ruinous wake. The final building on the patrol was the Crown Point Theatre, the building’s shadow hanging over us. Schafer sent Hensley and Burke to cover the ground floor and then stand guard at the lobby while he and I checked the top floor. The scariest thing was the film listings, though.

  “I guess the best thing about all this is no more sparkling vampires.” I groaned, and Schafer looked up at the awning.

  “Yeah, I’m all about team McClane.” He laughed, and I couldn’t help but agree. We moved up the stairs to the top floor, stepping carefully over bodies as we went. Neither one of us wanted to have a misstep and alert any zombies of our presence. From the top step, I could see four rooms down the hallway. “When we clear a building like this, we close doors behind us, and mark them to avoid checking them again. As far as I know, zombies are still too stupid to open doors.”

  Keeping that in mind, I cautiously approached the first door. It was still closed, with baby powder across the top of the doorknob. Lacking phosphorescent paint, I guess Schafer and his team got creative. The next two doors’ powder was also intact, which left the last door in this hallway. Getting closer, I noticed trails in the baby powder left behind by someone’s handprint.

  Signaling back to Schafer, I moved to the opposite side of the door. He stepped up to the door and held up three fingers, counting down. On zero, he turned the knob and swung the door inward. I swung around and trained my rifle on the first movement I saw. Finger on the trigger, I was about to fire when the light from the hallway showed me that the target was human.

  Schafer came in behind me with his rifle up, but I slapped his gun to the side as he fired, sending a stray round into the wall just next to the man before us.

  “What the hell did you do that for, Eric?” Schafer yelled, bringing his gun back to center.

  “That’s not a zombie.” I nodded toward our mutual acquaintance and noted the machete in his hand. “Sir, I need you to put the weapon down, and then we can have a nice, calm conversation. Please, there doesn’t need to be any bloodshed here.” The man slowly crouched and set the machete on the floor, holding his hands up.

  “Are you alone?” Schafer asked, a look of suspicion forming in his eyes. The man’s eyes darted to the side, but then he focused back on us. “I said,” Schafer aimed the gun at him, “are you alone?”

  “Look,” I lowered my weapon and put myself between the man and Schafer, “No one’s going to hurt them. We just can’t trust that you’ll do the same until we can see everyone in the room.”

  A woman stood from behind a desk in the back of the room, followed shortly by a little girl that couldn’t have been more than five years old. The man noticed my gaze and turned, sighing at the sight of his family revealing themselves. It was a sigh almost as if he expected us to open fire. I looked back to Schafer, who still had his rifle trained on the man. Maybe they knew something I didn’t.

  “What are you doing? These are civilians, Schafer!”

  “Eric, I understand you’re new to this, but I can’t bring them back to the courthouse. We don’t have enough supplies to feed three more people every day.” I wondered how many times he had used that excuse, and how many times this had happened.

  “Okay, maybe that’s true, but you mentioned a compound earlier. They could go there, right?” I struggled for any other option that didn’t end with this family’s death, whether by Schafer’s hand or those of a zombie.

  “Yeah, but they’d never make it on foot, and I sure as hell won’t waste a car on a group of people I don’t know.”

  “What if I went, too? Escort them to the compound and then bring the car back?”

  “You’re not getting it, Eric.” Schafer shifted the M16 in his arms and pulled me aside. “Cars run on gas, and in case you haven’t noticed gas stations are out of commission for a while. Now, I’ve managed to get a few keys together and match them to the cars, but before the virus hit people didn’t apparently bother to fill their tanks. That drive to the compound would be a one-way trip.” There’s something very final about the phrase, “One-way trip.” I never noticed it before, but the words were covered in a thick fog of dread, especially coming from someone like Schafer.

  “Just give me some time to think it over. Let’s go back to the courthouse, and I’ll talk to Kat. Maybe it’s time we moved on anyway.”

  “And what do I do with them?” He nodded toward the family, inching his finger closer to the trigger of his weapon.

  “We explain the situation to them and leave them for now. There’s no reason to do anything today that we would regret.” Schafer thought for a moment, and I tensed up in case he made a move. After a few stressful seconds, his index finger slid back, and he slung his rifle.

  “You’re right. This can wait until tomorrow. I’ll give you the night to discuss it with Katherine, but I’ll need an answer in the morning.”

  “Believe me, I won’t need very long.” I couldn’t know what loomed ahead, or what I would find at this compound, but I had to check it out for myself.

  Chapter 45

  Day 187

  I cautiously made my way back to the courthouse, careful to avoid unnecessary contact with the zombies parading the town if I could help it while Schafer stayed at the theatre. He told me to signal him on the handheld radio he carried with our solution. I got the feeling that he was prepared to kill that family if I didn’t take them to the compound, which left me little choice. I couldn’t just walk away and let that family die so I could improve my living situation at the courthouse. The only factor I doubted was whether or not Kat would join me on the escort.

  Crouched in the brush behind the courthouse, a zombie wandered into the clearing between me and the back entrance. I drew the knife I carried and moved quickly, allowing it to momentarily see me before I plunged the blade deep into its skull. Brain matter accompanied my knife upon exit, but I ignored it and hurried into the courthouse, unsure how long Schafer’s patience would hold out.

  Ryan nodded to me when I came in, his hands continuing to clean each part of the rifle in his hands with a meticulous nature. I assumed that meant he was the one I had spotted in the tower on our way in, the resident sniper revealing his identity at last. While I wasn’t planning anything insane at the moment, I couldn’t help but clock each person’s location and position in the group as a mental footnote. As I jogged up the stairs two at a time, Ryan began to re-assemble his weapon.

  I knocked softly on Katherine’s door and waited impatiently until the sound of footsteps approached on the other side.

  “Kat, it’s me.” I announced, turning the knob and cautiously entering before closing the door behind me. I went over to my backpack to ensure everything was as I left it, zipping it back up and checking the pockets. It wasn’t that I had any mistrust toward Kat, but it had become routine to double-check anything I wasn’t absolutely positive of out here and I damn sure wasn’t about to start breaking my rules now knowing I was about to leave.

  “Eric, what’s going on? Is everything okay?” Kat asked nervously behind me. I stood up and walked past her to her bag, beginning to check it as well.

  “Everything is okay, except we found a family in the theatre, and I think Schafer might kill them if I don’t escort them to this compound everyone keeps mentioning. So, we’re gonna take them to the compound and leave Schafer to his courthouse survival.”

  “Wait, what? Eric, slow down! You found a family? And what compound? What the heck are you talking about?�
�� I didn’t want to take any more time than necessary to prepare for the trip, so I forgot to answer her. Big mistake, as I soon found out when her foot slammed against the floor. “Eric, stop acting like a crazy person, and talk to me!”

  “When I was out with Schafer, he mentioned a compound.” I sighed. “A military-run compound that was set up for civilians and survivors as a safe haven. Schafer’s men haven’t been back in months, but I doubt it went down that fast if they had nearly the force and firepower that it sounds like. We hit the theatre on patrol and found a family hiding out. Schafer said they can’t come back here, something about too many mouths to feed, so I’m going to take them to the compound. So, if you could help pack that would be great.”

  Kat was silent for a full minute before she voiced a quiet, “No.” I pivoted to look up at her and saw her eyes begin to tear up. “No, Eric, I’m not going. I can’t…I can’t keep moving around. Schafer’s right, Eric. You know I trust you, but Schafer has a point. That family would need supplies that we just don’t have here. Why can’t they go somewhere else like we did? What have they been through that makes them deserve to be welcomed with open arms? We deserve to stay here.”

  “Kat, I don’t have all the answers, but I do know I wouldn’t feel right staying here in safety while that family is forced to leave. I couldn’t live with that, making them go. Not out there.” I pointed past the walls of the courthouse. “I’ve been out there for too damn long, and I’ve seen what happens. Hell, we’ve been out there! You’ve seen what it does to people, Kat! People die, whether it’s zombies, disease, or other people, or they change. It takes good people and turns them into monsters. You think Dawes was a bad guy before all this? Or Matthew?”

  “Matthew wasn’t a bad guy, Eric, but that doesn’t change things. I need to stay. Please don’t ask me to go.”

  “But there’s a compound with—”

  “Who says there’s a compound, Eric?” She exploded, waving her hands desperately. “You keep talking about this place like it’s the best place on Earth, but you don’t know if it even exists! It could be gone, just like everything else swallowed up by the wasteland, and you’re banking your hope on it being there when you arrive. Eric,” she looked at me with pity in her eyes, “I understand more than anyone how bad you want to find a civilization, to be welcomed in with open arms and fireworks and a parade that says you don’t have to fight anymore, but I don’t even know if that place exists anymore. Face it, every day the chances of finding a place to call home are fewer and fewer, and I just can’t keep moving around expecting to find something that won’t be there. I don’t have enough hope for that anymore, Eric.” Her head fell into her hands as her shoulders heaved, her tears sifting through her fingers.

  Silence fell on the room, punctuated by her sniffling every few seconds. After a long time, I stood slowly and went to her.

  “I’m sorry, Katherine.” I wrapped my arms around her and felt her hug me, her wet cheek laying against my shirt. “I won’t make you come, and I can’t ask you to leave. It’s your choice. I can’t keep thinking of you as someone who needs protecting, because the truth is you can make you own choices whether I agree with them or not. You’re a lot stronger than you think. And you’re right.” She wiped her nose on her sleeve and looked up at me, a confused look on her face. “I don’t know if this compound is there anymore, but I have to try. If I get there, and it is gone, I won’t be surprised, but if I get there and there is a group of survivors like us…” The thought was overwhelming, so I drifted off for a moment to relish in the idea. “And if there’s even a tiny chance that it exists, that all of our struggles to survive haven’t been for nothing, I have to take it. Otherwise, everything I do, everything I’ve done, would be meaningless. Pointless actions toward an unreachable goal. And I can’t accept that, I refuse to accept that. And if getting there means I give a family a chance to survive in this hellhole, then all that we’ve lost hasn’t been for nothing either.” Again, silence hung.

  “When do you leave?” Katherine whimpered into my chest.

  “I’d hate to break the tradition. I’ll probably leave at dawn.”

  “Will you wake me up when you go?”

  “Of course.” I smiled, and when she pulled back I couldn’t help but laugh. “You know, before all this you would have been freaking out about your makeup smearing.” She gave me a look of incredible disdain that I didn’t think a woman of her age could muster.

  “Don’t even breathe the word makeup. It’s bad enough when I think of how long it’s been since I showered.”

  “Smells like at least a few days.” I sniffed the air, and she slapped my arm.

  “Jerk.”

  “Hey, the wasteland changes a man.” I winked and laughed again. I think both of us were trying to focus on the positives, because tomorrow the sadness would hit like a train. Given, ironically there were probably no more trains left to hit us, so I’ll have to come up with a better comparison.

  I went downstairs to get dinner and found Schafer talking to Ryan and Clarke, but Hensley and Burke were nowhere in sight. The conversation looked serious, but as soon as they saw me, Schafer cut it short. He must have gathered what my question would be based on my expression, because he pushed off of the table he sat on and said, “I left Burke and Hensley back at the theatre with orders to fire only if attacked. As long as that guy and his wife are good little boys and girls they’ll make it through the night. For what it’s worth, I wouldn’t seriously shoot a civilian without good reason. I’m not a bad guy, Eric.”

  “Well, I can’t say I’m completely relieved, but Kat must agree with you because she’s staying.” Schafer whistled and laughed.

  “Now that is a shocker! No shit? She’s cutting you loose?”

  “Yeah, something like that. Still, I will have the final say, and I need your word that you’ll keep her safe. By that, I mean I want your word that you’d be willing to sacrifice any or all of your men to keep her out of harm’s way.”

  “Look, Eric, I may not have been around her as long as you have, but I can tell she’s special. You can trust me. I’ll keep her safe.” He walked over and put a hand on my shoulder. “I promise.” Once again, he seemed genuine, but there was something just…off about him.

  “Alright, then. At dawn I’ll take that family and a car and go. Any chance you’ve got a map to the place, or am I on my own to find it?”

  “Actually, I think you might be in luck. Back before the shit really came down, we hit a gas station hard and came out with everything but the kitchen sink. We had to come back for that later.” He laughed. “But, yeah, we got some road maps.” Ryan had gone and returned by then, handing me a map of the area. “Just follow the signs to Cedar Lake, unless they’ve been destroyed since we came through there. Take the night and study the route.”

  “Thanks for this.” I slid the map into the back pocket of my jeans and gathered some food for me and Kat before heading back to the room. She and I sat down for a quiet dinner of laughter and reminiscing. Nothing of grave importance happened, and the rest of the night was uneventful, but I feel the need to write down on paper that for once in a very long while I enjoyed a nice, quiet evening. My last thoughts before I drifted to sleep were of Samantha—a welcome dream.

  The following morning I woke up bright and early to grab my things and arrange transport with Schafer. He had Ryan put my things in the car, and they chauffeured the family to the courthouse while I said goodbye to Kat. I knew that I’d miss her, but I held it together. She, on the other hand, was a total cry-fest. Half of what she said was incomprehensible, but I understood the basics. She was going to miss me a lot and wanted me to be safe, and she wondered how we would stay in touch without the Internet. I dug into my pack and withdrew something I had been holding onto.

  “Kat, this is a high power walkie-talkie. I have the other one, so any time you need me just open a channel on our frequency, and click the button. You didn’t honestly expect me to be a
ble to just walk away into the sunset, right?” I laughed halfheartedly, and she took the radio, hugging me. I hugged her back, and after some time, decided it was time to get on the road.

  “Wait,” she said, grabbing my arm and reaching into her back pocket. “I’ve had this for a while, and just thought you might like it to remember me by.” Her hand brought out a stainless steel drop point knife, and she set it in my palm. “Hopefully, you won’t need it.”

  “That makes two of us. Thanks.” I slid it into my front pocket and hugged her again before walking to the car.

  I got behind the wheel and made sure the family was buckled in before pulling out, looking into the rearview mirror. Schafer had his men lined up outside, but the only person I watched was Kat fading into the distance. I felt my heart sink as the realization hit that I was leaving behind the one thing I had left in this miserable place. Still, part of me wondered if she was better off without me. I mean, while I did save her from the fort, I hadn’t exactly kept her out of trouble. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I realized I might have gotten her into worse situations. I needed to get my mind off of things, so I turned to the man in the passenger’s seat.

  “So, how did you end up in the theatre?” He looked surprised that I was talking to him.

  “We’ve been moving around for the past few months, scavenging and surviving. We were hoping that Crown Point would be a good place to settle down, even if just for a little while. But the things we started seeing…”

  “What do you mean?” I kept my eyes on the road to dodge the various debris and zombies, but raised an eyebrow in inquiry.

  “Those men are brutal, man. I mean, I’ve had to kill, and I’m sure you have, too, if you’ve survived this long, but those guys did it with a smile, like it was fun. They would cripple a zombie by beating its knees in and then stand in a circle and let it crawl around. Antoinette, my wife, saw them hang a zombie from a tree and set it on fire. Other zombies came over and caught on fire, and it was just awful.”