Duncan and Carol exchanged a look. I hated it when people did that. It was especially unsettling coming from them. They were supposed to be supporting me. I wanted to throw my temper at them. But I bit back my anger.
I spoke deliberately to Duncan, trying to sound more rational than I was. “You and I need to search for 105. Today, if possible,” I added, repeating what Abby had said to me.
He pushed away his pancakes. My aunt had stopped eating, too. I went back to picking at mine, mostly because I needed to keep busy. I was terribly anxious.
“Where are we supposed to look?” Duncan asked. “I don’t have a clue where to get started.”
“I do. The Mission Inn Hotel. I think it’s there, inside room 105.”
Carol fussed with the napkin on her lap. She looked as if she’d barely slept last night, even though she’d been exhausted when she’d gone to bed.
She said to me, “You should call and make a reservation to rent that room.” She seemed eager for me and Duncan to get it over with.
“I hope it’s there,” he said. He seemed eager, as well. He obviously didn’t want the search to be more difficult than necessary.
Neither did I. I wanted for it to happen just as quickly.
“Remember what we talked about,” Carol said to him.
Damn it, I thought. She was harping on the doctor/9-1-1 thing. Did she have to belabor the point?
Duncan, of course, was all ears for her.
Annoyed, I reached for my meds and scooped them into my hand. Then I realized that I shouldn’t take them. Wouldn’t it be easier for the 105 door to appear if I wasn’t medicated?
While they were engaged in conversation, I stuffed the pills into my jeans pocket. Then I picked up my orange juice and took a big gulp, making a show of it, as if I’d just swallowed my pills. Later, I would flush them in the toilet.
Carol glanced at me just as I put my glass down. The ruse had worked. Neither she nor Duncan would be the wiser.
My cell phone sounded. A text was coming in. Was it Abby? I checked and saw that it was Lori.
I looked up and noticed that both Carol and Duncan were watching me. I could tell by their expressions that they’d heard the text. I almost told them it was Abby, just to freak them out. But I doubted that my twisted sense of humor would appeal to them this morning.
So I said, “It’s Lori.” She was reminding me that I hadn’t given her the details of my night with Duncan. But by now, I’d had two nights with him.
I wrote back, He’s here with me. Talk later. I wasn’t sure how long it would be before I talked to her. I couldn’t tell her that Duncan and I would be going to a hotel today and searching for the door to another dimension.
That wasn’t the sort of thing you told your one and only friend, a girl who had no idea that you were bat-shit crazy.
***
At three p.m., Duncan and I arrived at The Mission Inn. I’d called ahead and made the reservation and requested room 105. This hotel was used to people requesting specific rooms. Most likely, the reservations operator thought we would be ghost hunting in 105. As far as I knew, it wasn’t one of the rooms rumored to have paranormal activity, but that didn’t mean strange things hadn’t occurred there. Of course, nothing was as strange as what we had planned.
Duncan was armed with my doctor’s name and number. I understood that this was uncomfortable for him. He was doing it, nonetheless. I would be eternally grateful. But for now, I was scared of what I’d gotten myself into.
Was it possible that my hallucination would go too far and he would have to seek medical help for me?
Yes, I supposed it was. But it was also possible that I would search frantically for the door and wouldn’t find it. To me, that actually seemed worse. I didn’t know what not finding the door would do to me. If it would send me over an even deeper edge.
We approached the front desk, and Duncan smiled at the woman behind the counter. As friendly and calm as he appeared, putting on a face for the outside world, I knew he was as anxious as I was. No doubt about it, I’d put him in a precarious situation. I stood beside my lover, clutching the handle of my suitcase. I’d brought the modern kind with wheels.
The lobby loomed over me with its grand elegance, making me feel small but not insignificant. Regardless of how scared I was, I was here for a purpose.
We checked in and proceeded to our room.
Duncan unlocked the door, and we went in and set our bags aside. It was a deluxe room, with a queen-sized bed draped in white. The rest of the furniture boasted polished woods and natural tones. The carpet was a soft, mottled print. I had no idea where to begin.
Duncan started by opening the drapes and letting a flood of light inside. Then he asked, “Is that okay?”
“Yes,” I replied.
After that, silence.
Already, I was feeling like a caged animal. It was going to be my job to perform, to make something happen.
Duncan resorted to small talk. “This is really nice. The bed looks comfortable.”
“Yes, it does. Soft and fluffy.” To me all that whiteness seemed virginal. But the loss of my virginity was no longer an issue. It had already come and gone.
Neither of us considered turning on the TV. That would have been too much of a distraction.
Duncan sat on the edge of the bed, and I recalled that he’d never stayed at a hotel before. This would be his first experience. It hardly seemed to fair to him.
“Do you want to order something from room service?” I asked, trying to make it better for him.
“Do you?” he replied.
“Sure. Why not?” We’d had a hearty breakfast, but we’d gotten so busy preparing to come here, we’d skipped lunch. “A snack would be nice.”
He picked up the menu and checked out the selections. “How about the large fruit platter? We can share. Maybe a cheese platter, too? Oh, man, this looks good. They have cupcakes.”
I smiled at his boyish enthusiasm. “Go ahead and order.”
“The cupcakes, too?”
“Definitely.” If sweets were going to help him get through this, then I was all for it.
He returned my smile. He was so kind and beautiful. He deserved better than what I could give him. He deserved to have a normal girlfriend who would be taking in the sights with him or lounging by the pool. Thankfully, he was happy about the room service.
We both removed our shoes and tried to get comfy. I was glad I’d skipped my medication this morning. I didn’t know if one day was enough to make a difference, but at least I’d planted a seed within my own mind, hopefully increasing the chance of a hallucination. Still, I was nervous.
Time inched by. I wished the food would hurry up. It probably wasn’t taking that long. But in my state of anxiety, it certainly seemed like it.
Finally, a knock sounded on the door. Duncan answered the summons. He didn’t let the waiter into the room. Instead, he signed the tab and brought the cart inside himself.
What an elegant display it was. The fruit platter presented apples, oranges, peaches, bananas, strawberries, and grapes. The other platter offered an assortment of cheese served with fancy toast, cracker bread, and peppered honey. The frothily-iced cupcakes were decorated with chocolate sprinkles.
Duncan made a pot of coffee. Clearly, he intended to stay up all night and watch me. I went over to the fridge and poked around.
He said, “There isn’t any liquor in there, if that’s what you’re looking for. They told me when we checked in that the mini-bar wouldn’t be available to us unless one of us was of age.”
“I wasn’t looking for a drink.” Actually, I was, but I wasn’t about to admit it. Alcohol sounded dangerously good. I settled on coffee instead.
Duncan went right for a cupcake and looked damned sexy eating it. If I wasn’t so nervous, I would have climbed onto his lap and kissed the living hell out of him.
I nibbled on the crackers, cheese, and fruit, making the most of it. I scooped some ic
ing off of the extra cupcake, too, and savored its sweetness.
“When are you going to search?” he asked.
“Soon. After we eat.” I didn’t want to drag it out.
“How are you going to search?” he then asked.
How, indeed? I didn’t rightly know. But I replied, “By looking around the room, I guess, and touching things.”
When the time came, I scanned the walls, the curtains, the carpet, every piece of furniture. I opened the closet. I scoped out the bathroom. I even checked under the bed and felt like an idiot.
What was I doing here? What in heaven’s name was I thinking? I wanted to drop to my knees and cry about how crazy I was. But I wanted to bawl for Abby and Duncan, too. For all of us who were caught up in this.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s just lie down a while.”
“But I have to find the door.”
“It won’t hurt for you to relax.”
Maybe I should take his advice, I thought. Maybe it would help. We got in bed, and I nuzzled against him, clutching him for warmth. He stroked my hair and told me to try to sleep.
Sleep? That definitely wasn’t possible.
“I can’t,” I said.
“Just try.”
“I’m wired from the coffee.”
“I drank nearly the whole pot, Vanessa. You only had one cup. You’re more exhausted than wired. Sometimes it feels like the same thing.”
He was right. I was frazzled. And scared. And confused.
“What if I screwed up by coming here?” I said. “What if Room 105 is somewhere else? What if it’s at the cemetery where my parents are buried? Where the number originated?”
Duncan gently asked, “Do you want it to be here? Or would you rather have it be there?”
“Definitely here.” I didn’t want to walk amongst the dead. Being in a haunted hotel was one thing. But being in a cemetery and searching amid the graves was way too creepy.
“Then it’ll be here, Vanessa. It’ll present itself to you when the time is right. But try to sleep first.”
He was doing whatever he could to keep me calm, to make this okay. He was holding me, too. He seemed almost afraid to let go.
“I’m sorry I’m putting you through this,” I said.
“No apologies. Just close your eyes. Everything will be all right.”
I did as he asked. I burrowed deeper against him and drifted off to sleep.
***
When I awakened, nighttime had fallen. Duncan had left a lamp burning, so the room wasn’t pitch dark. Plus the blinds were still open, with lights from the outside world filtering in.
Although I remained in Duncan’s arms, I felt as if I was on the fringes of floating into space. Was the door going to appear? Was this the onset of my hallucination?
“Duncan?” I said in a panic, praying that he was awake.
“I’m right here,” he responded.
“Don’t leave me.”
“I won’t.”
“I think it’s going to happen.”
“Right now?”
“Yes.”
He tightened his hold on me. “Remember, it’ll be okay.”
And if it wasn’t, he was going to have me hauled off to the hospital. Unfortunately, that wasn’t a comforting thought.
I sat up. “Do you see it?” Suddenly it was there, directly in front of me, only it was more like a window than a door. A sheet of glass with a multi-colored target in the center.
Duncan sat up, too. “No, baby. I don’t see anything.”
My heart hit my throat. The target was beginning to spin, the colors turning in a clockwise motion.
I gripped his arm, digging my nails into his skin. “It’s inviting us inside.”
The target jumped off the glass and twirled around my body. But it wasn’t moving around Duncan. He was being rejected. It wasn’t going to take him.
“Oh, God,” I said. OhGodOhGodOhGod…
“What’s wrong?”
“It wants me to go alone.” My hallucination wasn’t cooperating. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to make the spinning colors go away, but I could still see them through the back of my eyelids.
Duncan circled his arms around my waist and held tight. “Stay here. Don’t let it take you. Stay with me.”
I couldn’t stop it. A force was pulling me away from him. I couldn’t feel Duncan holding me anymore. I was losing him. He was losing me.
Whoosh!
I tumbled into a vortex, with beams of light speeding past me. Was this like those tunnels the dead took to heaven? Or was I on my way to hell?
I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound emerged. Had I gone into a catatonic state? Sometimes that happened to schizophrenics. Was that how the real me looked to Duncan? Was I bone-chillingly still in his arms, while the hallucinatory me was traveling full force?
Boom!
I landed with a thud, the impact nearly knocking the wind out of me. I opened my eyes, but my vision was blurred. I was heaped in a ball in an unfamiliar place, with a haze coating my eyes.
I prayed that I hadn’t been dumped at the border, where the monsters could get me.
Slowly, my vision recovered. Steadying myself, I sat forward. I didn’t see any monsters. I didn’t see anyone at all. I was in a mesa, a desert-type setting with clay-colored earth and rock formations. Was I on top of one of those rocks?
I stood up, and someone reached out from behind me, grabbing me before I fell. I was just inches from the edge of a cliff.
Duncan, I thought, my breath rushing from my lungs. Had he fought his way into the tunnel, jumping in after me? I turned gratefully in his arms, holding on for dear life.
But it wasn’t him.
Instead I stared into the face of a stranger: a tall, messy-haired, hazel-eyed, ridiculously handsome scoundrel with a half-cocked smile.
I blinked at him as if he were a poltergeist. Yet somehow I knew who he was. “Seven?”
He guided me farther from the cliff. “Yep, it’s me.”
He looked exactly the way Abby had described him. He was dressed in skinny jeans and a black tank top, with full-sleeve tattoos on both leanly-muscled arms. Around his neck he wore jewelry that had been fashioned from strips of leather. His shoes were Doc Martens. He definitely had an eighties vibe, but he exhibited a modern style, too, especially with the sexy scruff on his chin.
He snapped his fingers in front of my face, forcing me to focus. “Hasn’t anyone ever told you it’s rude to stare?”
“Excuse me for being curious.” Already I could tell that he and I weren’t going to get along. I wasn’t Abby. Nor was I one of his puppy-eyed groupies.
“We need to find that warrior of yours.”
I caught my breath. All I wanted was Duncan. “He’s here?”
“Yeah, but he’s not going to be the same guy you left behind. He’s one tough son of a gun on this realm, or so I’ve heard. I’ve never actually met him.”
“What are you saying?” That the warrior wasn’t my Duncan? My lover? My protector? “Will he recognize me? Will he know me?”
“No, he won’t.” Seven tugged a hand through his charmingly wicked hair. It didn’t look as if it been combed in years. “You’re just going to have to figure out a way to get reacquainted with him. But it’s not going to be easy. He doesn’t take to outsiders.”
“You could have warned me ahead of time that Duncan wouldn’t be the same. You could have told Abby.”
“I didn’t know how it was going to turn out. This is your hallucination, not mine.”
“And you’re supposed to be the damned psychic.”
“Quit bitching. We need to go. We’re a long way from where the warrior lives.”
I trudged beside him in my bare feet, taking a path that led us down the hill. I shouldn’t have taken off my shoes at the hotel. Tiny stones and little burrs were attacking my soles.
When I stubbed my big toe, Seven chuckled.
He laughed again. But much to my surprise, he removed his tank top, tore it in half and wrapped the pieces around my feet, tying them off with two of his necklaces.
“Thank you,” I mumbled.
“No problem.” He grinned, then added, “Oh, and before I forget, it’s nice to finally meet you. And welcome you to the freak show called 105.”
End of Book One
(If you’re curious to know more about Room 105 and what inspired the series,
please continue reading for a note from author Sheri Whitefeather.)
Author’s Note
Thank you for reading BEAUTIFUL CONFUSION and for taking further interest in my work. As for the inspiration behind the series, I didn’t choose the number 105. Oddly enough, it chose me, and in the form of three separate rooms.
In December 2009 I visited my sister, Lanie, in Oregon, as that’s where she has lived for the past thirty-some years. She is a Twilight fan and we’d agreed to see New Moon together. Before we climbed into her car, she remarked that it felt cold enough to snow. She even went back inside to check the TV weather report, but everything was supposed to be fine.
Off to the movie we went. After it was over, we discovered that a huge snowstorm had blown in.
Lanie tackled a few freeway miles and took the first exit that came into view, knowing we’d never make it to her house. Already roads were being closed and cars were skidding and getting stuck in the snow. Much to our surprise, the exit led straight to a Motel 6. Grateful for its presence, we checked in for the night.
The thing that struck Lanie, though, was that we’d been given room 105. Normally that wouldn’t have meant anything. Except in this case, the movie had started at 1:05. That number had been firmly planted in her mind when we’d begun our New Moon, post-snow journey.
Nearly a year later, in August 2010, the room number reappeared. I was in Oregon again, during another trip that included Eclipse, the next Twilight movie. Everything went fine at the theater. The entire vacation was spectacular. On my final night, I decided to stay at a hotel because I had an early-morning flight and was taking a shuttle to the airport. Lanie drove me to a Marriott Courtyard. I checked in and was given room 105.
Beautiful Confusion (New Adult Romance) Room 105 Page 15