And the jester stood alone.
Chapter 14
By waking up at five, Ro hoped to catch Ben before he left for his marathon hike. It was pitch-black outside, and as she wended her way to his house, she felt her heart beating in her chest because she knew he’d be angry.
She had come prepared, dressing in layers with a warm coat, warm socks, gloves, a hat, a parka, and a fresh set of clothing. She had brought loads of food, a flashlight, and a GPS that she didn’t know how to use but Ben could figure it out.
Having looked the hike up on the Internet, she was nervous. It was rigorous, it was at a very high altitude, and it was going to be freezing. Ben was crazy. And she was crazy for going with him. She was especially crazy for going with him when he didn’t want her. But she couldn’t help it. There was something about the boy that kept sucking her in: his spirit, his sadness, his passion. It was ridiculous. They weren’t even a couple. They fought as much as they got along. They were totally ill-suited for one another. But Ro needed him. She also needed him to need her.
She parked in front of his house and was relieved to see that both of his parents’ cars were in the driveway, which meant he was still home. She blew out air, walked up to the front door, and knocked softly. It was twenty to six. The door swung open. She steeled herself for the onslaught. “Hi.”
Angry eyes looked at hers. “Are you nuts?”
“Happy to see you too. Can I come in?” She didn’t wait for an answer, walking past him and into the kitchen, where his mother was preparing sandwiches. “Hi, Mrs. Vicksburg. How are you?”
His mom looked shocked. “Ben, you can’t seriously think of taking Ro hiking on Mount Baldy.”
“Of course not—”
“It’ll be fine!” Ro showed off her multiple sweaters and her hiking shoes. “All dressed and ready to go.” She sneaked a glance at Ben. Then she looked away and grimaced. He was furious but working hard at maintaining calm because they both knew there was no sense in getting his mother upset. She said, “I’ve come prepared.”
He said, “I appreciate you wanting to come, but like I told you in school, it’s a tough hike.”
“Then would it kill you to do a simpler hike?”
His mom said, “Amen to that.”
Ben took in a deep breath and let it out. “Okay. This is what we’ll do. We’ll start out, and when you start to flag, we’ll turn around.”
“Now that sounds like a plan.” Ro held up her rucksack. “I’ve got everything I need in one neat package.” When she grinned, it enraged him. No matter. She’d calm him down once they were alone.
His mother said, “Are you sure you have everything you need, Ro?”
“I made a list and checked it twice. I have sandwiches and water and a poncho because I know it gets wet. I’ve got gloves and a scarf and a change of clothes.” She smiled at Ben, who didn’t smile back. She threw him the keys. “You drive. You know the way.”
He caught them with one hand. “I’ll be right back.”
“Where are you—” But he was out the door. A minute later he came back, holding his knapsack by the strap. He gave his mom a set of keys. “At least you’ll have your car.”
“This is a foolhardy idea, Ben.”
“I’ll be home by six.” He was clenching his jaw. It was giving him a headache. “Let’s go.”
Silently they walked into the frigid darkness and climbed into Ro’s car. Ben stowed both backpacks in the rear seat. As soon as he put the key into the ignition and turned on the motor, Ro cranked up the heat. “Wow, it’s cold.”
Ben slowly eased the car into the street. The first few minutes were agonizingly silent. She finally said, “You’re mad.”
“Give me a few moments, okay?”
The intensity in his voice told her she had gone too far. “Look, I promise I’ll keep up. And I won’t kvetch. I’m a lot stronger than I make myself out to be. I can do this.”
“Ro, I’m not mad. I just need to think, okay?”
She looked down. “I just wanted to see you.”
“A few minutes? Please?”
She said nothing. They drove through the gravel streets until he merged onto the asphalt of Sierra Road. Ten minutes later he accelerated onto I-25 south.
Ro said, “Is this the right way? I thought Baldy was north.”
“I know where I’m going, okay.”
“Sorry. Can I turn on the radio?”
“It’s your car.”
“What kind of music do you like?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
She turned on rock, then thought better of it and turned on easy listening. “A little intense for heavy metal.”
Ben was silent. He turned down the heat so he could be heard. “Uh, let me get a couple of thoughts out, okay?”
“Sure.” Her voice was timid.
“Dorothy, I know it’s been hard for you being here. But it’s been a real boon for me. I want to thank you for making the effort to be nice to me.” He glanced at her. “I’m glad you came to River Remez. And by the looks of your popularity, so is everyone here . . . glad you came. It certainly was good for Haley. She and Griffen . . . they’re really cute together.”
Her smile was heartfelt. “Those two really are a pair.” A grin. “Ah, young love.”
“Yeah, it’s sweet.” His voice grew soft. “Ro, you’ve given me a lot of insight and you’ve also given me the push to say something to Shanks.”
Ro got excited. “You set up an appointment with him?”
“I’m going to do it this week, as promised.”
“Can I come?”
“No.”
“Why not? I want to meet him.” She punched his shoulder lightly. “We’re a team.”
“We’re not a team, but you’ve helped me tremendously. Thank you.”
“Vicks, there is no one on this planet that I admire as much as you.”
“Thanks, but let me finish, okay?” A protracted silence. “Next semester I’m changing my schedule. I’m not going to be around much. I mean, I’ll be around if like you need help in math—”
“Stop it already.” Ro felt her heart beat a little faster. “What’s going on?”
“I’m taking some upper-division classes at UNM. They’re scheduled Tuesday and Thursday. On Wednesdays and Fridays, I’m going to be interning at Circuitchip.”
“The computer chip maker?”
“Yeah, they are the largest business in Albuquerque—Rio Rancho actually. It’s a big opportunity for me. Like working for Google or Amazon, but closer to home. That means I’ll be down south Tuesday through Friday. That’s what I was doing yesterday. Working it out with the school.”
Ro felt her eyes go moist. “You’re done with high school?”
“No, I’ve got government and an English class. I’ve talked to Mr. Gomez and a couple of the teachers. They’ve agreed to give me independent study. I’ll be there all day Monday, but I’m not doing any more TA-ing or stuff like that.”
Panic hit her and she had no idea why. She barely saw Ben at school. But in the back of her mind, she always knew he was there. “How long have you known about this?”
“Like I said, most of this happened yesterday, but I’ve been thinking about it for a while.”
“You never said anything.”
“I wasn’t sure. You know, doing the adult thing . . .” He gave her a forced smile. “If I lived in River Remez, I’d need a car. I didn’t want my dad to fork out the money. It’s a car, it’s gas, it’s insurance. I won’t be living at home. In Albuquerque, they’ve got buses to Circuitchip and my grandparents don’t live too far from the university. I’ll be staying with them.”
Ro stared out the windshield. “Will you be here over the weekend?”
“Yeah, my grandparents have a spare car that’s not great for a daily driver but it’s fine for the weekends. I’ll have to come home on Sunday to go to school on Monday. So I’ll be here a couple of days.” He touched her arm and she jum
ped. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
He said, “Take care of my sister for me, okay? I’m serious about this. She’ll be fifteen this summer. She looks even older. I’m worried.” Panicked, actually. “I’ll see what Shanks says, but regardless, I won’t rest until this monster is caught. Take care of her, take care of Lilly too. They’re much more likely to listen to you than to me anyway.”
“Of course I’ll watch over them. They’re my buds.” Ro looked down. “Are you going to attend graduation?”
“I’m planning on it. Anyway, you know how twelfth grade is. Everyone’s just about checked out. I’m just doing it a little early.”
“That’s good, Vicks. Sounds like you’ve got it figured out.”
“I’m trying my best.” A pause. “And I’m sincere about helping you raise your SAT math score. Any of the Ivies would be lucky to have you.”
She didn’t answer.
He said, “Ro, I know this guy. Grant Statler. He’s really wealthy. His family used to be in the hotel business.” No response. “Uh, his dad works for a hedge fund in L.A. He just finished his first semester at Ha-vard, of course.”
Still no response.
“His grandparents have a summer home in Santa Fe. We used to go to camp together. He’s probably the closest friend I have, and that’s not because of me. He’s a great guy. If you go back east, I’ll give him a call. I’m sure he’d love to take you around.” When she didn’t say anything, Ben tapped the wheel again. “I’ve got something else to tell you.”
“What? You’re gay?”
“No, I’m not gay.” Ben was taken aback. “I’m a little nerdy, but why would you think I’m gay?”
“I dunno. The car’s beginning to feel like a confessional.”
Not far from the truth. “I lied to you on Friday. I never had any intention of hiking Mount Baldy today. I made up something to tell my mom because I didn’t want to tell her the truth. I am going hiking, but my plan is to look for Katie Doogan. Give it one last shot before I go to Shanks. I didn’t want her to know. And I didn’t want you to know. This is not something that I want you to be a part of.”
“Well, Vicks, I’m here and unless you intend to turn the car around, it looks like you’re stuck with me.”
“Ever been to Albuquerque?”
“Not really.”
“It’s an interesting city. It’s got some good art museums—”
“No, no, no,” Ro said. “I’m coming with you.”
“You’ll distract me.”
“So I won’t talk, okay? I’ll stay ten feet behind you like a good squaw. Or is that politically incorrect to call a Native American a squaw?”
Ben didn’t answer anything.
“This is all a mess!” Ro shook her head but refused to cry. “It’s because of JD, right?”
“That I’m looking for Katie Doogan?”
“That you’re leaving the school.”
“It has nothing to do with JD or you or high school. It’s about me doing what I need to do to jump-start my life.”
“Would you stay in Remez High if I broke up with JD?”
“Absolutely not.”
She crossed her arms. “Then it doesn’t matter to you one way or the other?”
“What matters to me doesn’t count. It’s what you want.” Silence. “Do me a favor, okay?”
“I’m not doing anything for you. I’m pissed at you.”
“Why? Because for once I didn’t follow your script?” She didn’t answer. “If you ever do break up with JD, let me come with you.”
“I don’t need you. I can handle my own affairs.”
“I’m asking you this one thing, okay. Let me come with you.”
“I’m not breaking up with him.”
“Then there’s no issue.”
“At least not until after the winter dance.” A pause. “I already bought the dress.”
Ben laughed. “Well, there’s a reason to stay with a guy.”
“Shut up.”
“JD’s a big guy, and with a big temper to match. I just want to make sure nothing bad happens.”
“All guys have tempers.” She turned to him. “If I decide to break up with JD, you can come with me, but only if I come with you to look for Katie Doogan.”
“You don’t want to do this.”
“Excuse me, but I do.” A beat. “Where are you searching? In the mountains?”
“Yes.”
“I’m dressed for that. And what’s the likelihood that we’ll find her?”
“The null set.”
“So basically, we’re taking an all-day walk in the woods. Do you even know where you’re going?”
“That’s insulting.”
“I’m just curious if it’s like a random thing or—”
“Of course I know where I’m going.” He sounded aggravated. “Something like this, you don’t just pick random spots. I’ve been doing this for a while. I’ve charted it all out—where they’ve previously searched, where they haven’t searched, where the riverbanks are, where the lakes are. It’s anything but random. I carefully plotted out these pathways yesterday.”
“When you weren’t planning on ditching me next semester.”
“Stop taking it personally. It’s not like I’m going to Timbuktu. I’ll be an hour away.”
“I’ll never see you in school.”
“You don’t anyway.” When she huffed, he said, “Can we stop bickering?”
Ro turned up the volume of the music. Then she turned it down. “How much longer to get there?”
“Around an hour.”
“Will you miss me?”
“I’ll miss seeing you the two minutes we talk every day.” Ben tapped the steering wheel. “How about if I tutor you on Sundays so I get a chance to see you.” When she didn’t answer, he said, “When’s the next time you’re taking the SATs?”
“Mid-January.”
“We’ve only got a month. You’re quick. A little bit of tutoring and you’ll rock it.”
She gave him a smile that was tinged with sadness. She sighed. “Thanks. And I’ll pay you.”
“Not a chance. This is my way of giving something to you. So when all those college boys are chasing you, you’ll think fondly of me.”
Her eyes watered up. Ben handed her a tissue and she dried her eyes. She sat up and stared out the window. “Tell me about Grant Statler.”
“That was a quick change of heart,” Ben noted.
“That’s me, Vicks, in a nutshell. I may get down, but I’m never out.”
Chapter 15
The sky began to lighten, changing from charcoal to deep, evanescent pinks and intense lavenders right before the brilliant golds of sunrise. As they headed toward downtown Albuquerque, the highway was empty, the horizon obscured by the multistoried buildings of a real city. With its steady growth and a population topping the half-million mark, Albuquerque had pushed New Mexico into the twenty-first century. In many ways, Ben thought of it as a small town from the Wild West. If crime rate was any indication of lawlessness, the image fit perfectly. Because of the wide-open space, New Mexico was always a perfect hiding place for fugitives, drug dealers, and transients making their way across the continent.
Ben drove deep into the preserves of the Sandias, keeping a close watch on time because daylight was short. He parked at the trailhead, but kept the motor idling for heat. “We should eat before we go.”
“Nothing like baloney and cheese first thing in the morning.”
“Is that what you packed?”
“Excuse me. No one was up to fix my Niçoise salad.”
Reaching around to the backseat, he opened his knapsack. “I have egg salad. That’s kinda like breakfast.”
“Sure.”
“Coffee? It’s black.”
“Yeah, motor oil is fine.”
He poured two cups and gave one to her. She wore a blue Cornell sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. Her complexion was alabaste
r white except for rosy cheeks enhanced by the cold. Without makeup, she had a sprinkling of freckles over her nose that he’d never noticed. Her hair was tied back into a ponytail. The November air was cold and parched and had been that way for a while. Her lips, though rubbed with something greasy, were chapped. Her eyes were moody blue.
They ate quickly and in silence. After a quick bathroom run, Ben handed Ro a walking stick and adjusted it for her height. The trail he had mapped out contained several estuaries that emptied into the Rio Grande. Though rescue parties had searched the area many times, Ben just had a feeling that Katie’s resting place was near water.
The sky was pale and there was a cold breeze as they started up the trail. No talk, which was good. He could focus, hearing the burbling of the water, the rush of wind, the other noises of nature—scampering, cracking, and birdcalls. The trail was compacted dirt—hard under the foot—whereas the ground beside it was filled with brown and gold organic material, all of it sodden. Whiffs of wet paper and pine wafted through the air. After a half hour of hiking, Ro decided to talk.
“Why’d you pick this spot to search?”
“Soil is looser around water, so you can dig a deeper grave. But also . . . when you do this long enough, you have to start thinking like the killer. It’s real easy to get lost off-trail. Everything starts to look alike especially in the dark and in this terrain. It’s impossible to navigate without tools. Unless you have compasses or GPS, which doesn’t work too well here, you need some kind of guide to get back to where you parked your car. The shores of a riverbank are a natural conduit. If you’re burying bodies, you’re probably doing it at night, so it helps if you’re following natural landmarks.”
“What are you looking for?”
He stopped walking and glanced around. “I look at the topography. I’m looking for sunken ground. You have to look really carefully because at this time of year everything is covered in leaves.”
It was weird—explaining what he did. He took out his compass and marked the location in a notebook. “Okay.” He used his walking stick as a pointer. “We can cut through here to the creek and follow it north. If you go up the trail, the rise is pretty quick. If you’re carrying a body in the dark, you’re going to choose a route that’s direct. Let’s go. Use your stick. There are tree roots you’re not going to see.”
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