Claiming His Forever (Battle Born MC Book 8)

by Scarlett Black

  I’m burying this away as if it were six feet under or never existed. He will never see that he has the power to hurt me. Spider will never know that he broke me, and neither will anyone else. My walls were up for a reason to begin with and Spider made them come crashing down. I was foolish to trust him. I won’t ever give him that again. This pain belongs to me and me alone, and I will endure. Now, I have to reconstruct these walls even stronger than before so this pain will be invisible to others. My strength and the love I have for my little peanut will get me through. No one nor nothing else matters.

  Chapter 10

  Jazzy

  It was the second day since I opened the shop, the morning after Spider’s porn-filled break-up phone call. It’s been nonstop activity. This was the weekend I wanted to ask Spider to come down. The excitement I had felt to start over died. I’ve chained myself to work to cope. Every available time slot I booked with hair or tattoo appointments. I did what I do best and avoided my feelings. I forced myself to not cry during the day, unless I could sneak away from everyone and do it alone.

  What Spider did was bitter and cold. It left me angry and confused. He knew he called me to deliver a message, and no doubt I got it loud and clear. He will be left alone. It was especially hard when Mom would text me and ask questions. I just asked her to give me time. She knows I won’t crack, not until I feel safe enough where I won’t crumble. It’s times like these the ache in my chest is the deepest. I want to run to my dad and ask him to kill both Spider and Kilo for me. If he were here, I know he would grant me my wish in a heartbeat. My eyes begin to well up and I blink rapidly, turning away from my client. Dipping my needle in for more ink, I suck it all back.

  No matter how hard I try, these thoughts keep crashing through my mind. The hardest part was I started to believe I could finally find the life I’d dreamed about. It was too soon to say love, but it could have been. Never did I think I would have a baby so early in my plans, but I’m happy with the outcome. Spider and I will need to figure out how to be around each other, then decide how we will take care of the surprise that has lit up the new desire I never knew I had—to be a mother. This baby keeps me moving when all I have thought about is caving and giving in. That was the easiest answer to all of this. Take care of her.

  I lose myself to planning how to ease it all to a bearable pain. The art of tattooing is my therapy and I get lost in the beautiful design and colors. These next few months will be hard. If I can get the shop set up and running with one more artist, then I can slow down. Maybe even live a little more than running from project-to-project. A few months after the baby is born, when Spider takes her for visits, I can book appointments to catch up. Spraying green soap on the client and wiping away the last traces of ink reveals a colorful jewel and lace tattoo design. My eyes devour the art needled into her skin. The beautiful piece creates a sense of pride and accomplishment for me. I made it. An unrestrained smile breaks itself free.

  As I spread ointment over her skin, I go over the aftercare instructions and tape a bandage over it. My new customer gives me a hug before making a follow-up appointment for the rest of the sleeve. That’s when the exhaustion hits. When my last customer was done, I gave in. Time to head out and make the call before I forget again.

  Abuela picks up on the first ring. “Niña, when I said I wanted to talk, I meant here, not on the phone. ¿Estas loca? Ven a la casa.” She hangs up on her end after she calls me crazy and demands I go to her house, which is on the property of the MC. Shit. At least she’ll have food for me.

  It doesn’t take me too long to get there at this time in the evening. The traffic was manageable. Taking a deep breath, I steel myself before I walk in. The wind chimes pick up almost like sounding my arrival with the wind. A small stray kitten sits by Abuela’s door, faithfully waiting for her to feed her. My whole life, my abuela has never had a pet out of desire, but circumstance. They come to her in need, like we all do. It’s Abuela’s calling to nurture us and take care of the earth.

  Her garden of fresh vegetables, fruits, and herbs is impeccable. Never does she sell food, rather she feeds us and always takes whatever is left to those who need it. The small black kitten with white socks meows and I bend to pick her up, cradling her to my chest while she purrs.

  I don’t knock but walk inside. “Abuela!” I holler and follow the noise of a busy woman in the kitchen. The smell of tamales and arroz con leche makes my mouth water.

  “Hola, mijita, come sit down.” When she turns with my plate, her old wrinkly skin lifts. “You found her, que bueno.”

  “The cat?”

  “Sí, she has been crying nonstop since this morning. It’s how I knew.”

  “Knew what?”

  “That she needed you and you needed her. Take her with you.” I choke on my words when she raises her hand.

  “Mija, we all have duties in this world. She was meant to be yours.” She leaves it at that. Abuela has taught us to serve others and an animal’s job is to comfort those who need it most. The flicker of a candle catches my attention. Just the one still burns in front of the photo of my father, her son. In the small parlor, she has pictures of all those who left this earth too soon. The room is often lit softly with white candles. It wouldn’t shock me if she could talk to those we miss dearly.

  She places the plate in front of me with my favorite, chicken and cheese tamales smothered in this creamy- white green chili sauce. “I had a dream, Jazmin.” The first bite I forked up falls and splats down in my lap. The kitten devours every bite while I swallow. “Mija, is it true? You are expecting a baby, sí?” I nod my head and the tears freely fall. She grips my hand and the strong determination in her eyes is unwavering. “Whatever happens, your father and your grandfather stand by you. They protect you always. You search for a man to love you when, mija, you already have it. Do you still talk with them? I think they are disappointed you forget. Don’t insult the strength of those men. Talk with them, mija. You can’t feel that kind of power surrounding you if you keep blocking it. Stop it,” she scolds and releases my hand.

  My head falls forward in disappointment. So much time I’ve spent avoiding my problems or feelings. But this baby has opened the rawest, purest parts of me. The real purpose of love, family. The crack that is there fractures a little more. “Tú entiendes, you understand the power of love from a parent to a child now, don’t you? You’ve opened up the parts of you that you guard. Love is not the cause of heartache, Jazmin—it is the cure. So, tell me, who is he?”

  Over the years, I’ve gotten used to her knowing things that don’t quite add up to how she knows the things she does. There is no use hiding from her, so I tell her most of it, and that Spider is the father. Her eye twinkles in delight. Lightly, she nods in approval, almost like she already knew. That does something to me, because maybe, just maybe, for once, I’m going in the right direction.

  Chapter 11

  Jazzy

  Every day is a new and exciting adventure. The cravings are a new twist to being pregnant. I wouldn’t call how tired I am a bonus, or the morning sickness. I can’t wait to feel the baby kick one day. Clearing my head, the raucous sounds of the brothers crowded into the shop break me free from my thoughts. Since my dad used to give the newly patched-in brothers the MC brand, I was more than happy to take over for him.

  My pride is etched into Gringo’s flesh. I wipe away the last remnants of ink from the wolf tattoo on his chest. Gringo is in his late twenties. He’s a hot white guy, hence the name. Gringo in English roughly translates to ‘white boy’. I continue to wipe away the ink from the letters above the wolf. My eyes devour every line to check that they’re perfect.

  Nausea starts to kick in and I swallow back the acid coating my throat. It’s been hard to work and keep up with the physical challenges. I quickly apply ointment and a bandage.

  “Are you coming out to the clubhouse to celebrate?” Gringo’s hopefulness is hard to let down.

  “No, but thank you. Y
ou will make some other girl very lucky tonight.” I try to push through the discomfort I’m feeling. My stomach cramps and I scold myself for not taking better care of myself.

  “What if it’s you I want to get lucky with?” His bright white square teeth and brilliant coaxing smile are beautiful. If only I was in a place to appreciate it.

  Out of time and patience, I need to be blunt. “Honey, I have more problems than you need, and I’m not in a place to be with anyone. I haven’t been in a long time. Time for you to use that witty banter on a girl who can appreciate it. I’m not feeling well. I’ll catch you around.”

  I’m up and out of my chair before the words are out of my mouth. I don’t wait for a response or even care what it could be. In the back room, I vomit into the toilet. It’s been hard, but the nausea has been worse.

  The door swings open and booted feet stomp in, then the lock slides into place. My hands shake and I’m left unprotected. Wiping my mouth with my sleeve, I stand and come face-to-face with my worst nightmare—Kilo.

  “¿Que esta pasando?”

  “Nothing is happening, Kilo. Just haven’t been feeling well. I’ll be okay. We better go make sure everyone has headed out of the shop.”

  “For what?” He blocks my path, and when the predator sees my weakness, he smells the fear. “Tell me, bella, are you pregnant?”

  “N-no, why would you even ask that?”

  “You're sick and working on people? Nah, I don’t think so. You wouldn’t fear me unless you're hiding something from me. You wouldn’t lie to me, would you?” Kilo, with a crazed look in his eyes, advances closer until my back hits the wall. He has me cornered.

  Tears hit my cheeks, and I can’t stop them, because he’s right. “Shhhh, it will be okay.”

  I shake my head back and forth, covering my stomach with my hands, and I plead, “Please, Kilo—”

  He pushes a finger against my lips. My eyes round and dart between his. I push back and try to yell for help. It’s no use. No one can hear us back here over the music playing in the main room. Did they all leave? My heart races with adrenaline and the will to survive.

  This time it’s much worse—he knows. He shushes me again and then I feel the pain. Kilo punches me in the stomach with all his strength three times while pinning me to the wall. The agony kills me and at the same time paralyzes me. I can’t breathe, choking on my own tears and snot. Every gasp for air isn’t enough.

  He lets me go and I crumble to the floor. I’m drowning in my own sobs of grief as I wrench on the tile floor.

  “I only ever wanted to love you, Jazz. It will all be okay. You’ll see. I’ll give you babies when you want them.” He sits on the toilet and tilts my face to look up at him. “Te amo, mi bella. I’m sorry I had to hurt you, but this had to be done. Don’t make me do this again. No more, okay?”

  He bends to kiss my cheek and holds me firmly in his grip. I start to heave again and he tosses me away. “I’ll check on you tomorrow.” The devil leaves me on the floor, battered and abused.

  Something is very wrong. My body trembles with increased pressure. Water fills my eyes as I clench them shut. No. With shaky hands, I crawl to the office and find my phone. I send Snake a text, ‘I need you’.

  Snake was hanging with the brothers in the shop and is immediately in my office, where he finds me pulling myself off the floor toward my desk. “Get everyone out. I need to go to the hospital,” I hastily demand.

  He doesn’t say a word and leaves to announce the party is moving to the clubhouse. Bikes rumble and I can faintly hear Kilo asking what’s going on. “Is everything okay? Does she need my help? I can take her home.” God, no, please, Snake, I plead silently from the office.

  “She needs to get some rest. Came down with the flu, I think. I’ll give her a ride home. Meet you at the clubhouse in a bit.” Snake practically has to shove him out the door and it makes me wonder what he will do if I did tell Snake what he just did to me. Would he kill me, Snake, or both of us? Sweat drips down my temple and I gag. The pain increases and I hunch over, holding my stomach. A hot flash of pain makes me want to pass out. I know what is happening—it’s over. My baby is not surviving this.

  Snake

  Fury makes my hands shake violently. Something happened between Jazz and Kilo back here. I was shocked when he walked in. He wasn’t supposed to be here for another two days. He must have come in through the back door, because he wasn’t here.

  Scenarios run through my head of what he must have done to her. I had a timeline to get rid of him, one that wouldn’t trace back to me. Desperation is a virus and the consequence of catching it is death.

  “Jazz,” I croak, from the inside of the car. “What did he do?” She doesn’t answer. She’s stuck in some other world. “Jazz? Where do I take you?” I call her name three times and she doesn’t answer. I hit the steering wheel with fear, frustration, and anger that I didn’t protect her. Jazz flinches and looks at me dead in the eyes.

  “He killed her. Just take me home.” Just those three words do something inside of me like I have never felt. But the lingering devastation of failure drives me to make it right. “There isn’t anything anyone can do now.”

  “Fuck that. I’m taking you to the doctor. Jazzy, you need to take care of your body.” I choke on the words. More than that, I need her to be okay, because I failed. She was hurt and I didn’t protect her. I was right there.

  “I said I don’t need to,” she snarls back.

  I get it. She’s in the worst place a woman can ever be and, fuck, it tears my guts up. For the first time in my life, I do not know what to do. I call her mom to get to Sacramento as fast as she can. She can be here in an hour. Then I call my dad to get the club doctor to her place. His deathly still tone sent a chill down my spine. He ordered me not to leave her side, that he was handling it. At her apartment, I hold her in my arms and take her upstairs to her bed. As softly as I can, I whisper, “I’ll be just outside the door. Your mom is coming.”

  In her living room, I pull out my burner phone and make a call. “Find Kilo, now. Make a scene and a fight. Get him arrested on assault charges. Call me when you find him.”

  It’s someone who will make this happen, for a price I’ll pay, and more blood will be spilled to cover my tracks and hers. I plan while waiting for Jazzy’s mom. Jazz is lost inside her shell, but I stay close and check in on her. Her anguish is all I can take as a man and not kill the son of a bitch who hurt her. I have work to do. A man to hunt and condemn. I take her car to the strip club Kilo frequents. I know what he’ll be doing—a girl he’s been seen with for weeks now.

  For an hour tops, I sit in the shadows until the man I called shows up. He yells at Kilo to pay him his money. They argue back and forth until a fight breaks out between them. I gotta hand it to the guy, he holds up for longer than I thought. The cops are called, and Kilo is cuffed and thrown into the back of a cruiser while my guy gets away, thanks to an inside deal where people were paid to look the other way.

  They won't hold Kilo forever, but revenge is coming, and he will pay as much as I can deliver.

  Jazzy

  Right when I knew what I wanted, God took my angel back to Heaven. By the time I’m awake, my mom is waiting for me. The ice-cold numbness inside doesn’t register how she knew I needed her here.

  “I called her, Jazz,” Snake whispers. “Someone needs to take better care of you than I can.” Sadness wraps around him. Why? I can’t think past my pain and leave it alone. I can’t. I have nothing left inside of me to fight at the moment. I just want to sleep.

  “Jazzy, it will be okay again.” My mom holds onto me, rubbing my back. “Talk to me.”

  I don’t. I allow the grief to take me back under.

  Chapter 12

  Jazzy

  A week away from an early prenatal check, I started taking vitamins and walking regularly when I figured out I was pregnant. Eating vegetables was huge for me. I wanted her to be healthy. But today, I’m startled awake w
ith stabbing abdominal pain. Three months pregnant was as far as I got. Every pad I change, I sob at the site of what is left. The blood of my baby was evidence that evil walks this earth.

  After my shower, it was crippling. I could barely stand on my own. Yelling out for my mom right away, she came running in to help me back to bed.

  My angel never made it to my arms.

  For hours, I cried into the comfort of her embrace. I was relieved that I never told Spider about our child. As horrible as that sounds, I just couldn’t add on more to what I was dealing with. For hours, I contemplated the why.

  Why didn’t I fight harder?

  Why didn’t I leave Kilo?

  Why didn’t I see what an animal he really is?

  Why would god take my baby?

  Just FUCKING why!

  “I believe it’s time to visit Abuela, Jazz.” Mom runs her fingers through my hair. My cat, Loca, has stayed by my side on the bed with me, watching the sun move since dawn. “She called for you, honey.”

  I can’t tell her no, but I can’t move. I feel dead. I do nothing at all.