It’s then that she finds Gringo watching us and puts together what I did. Jazzy scowls briefly at me over her shoulder and continues until her foot touches the wood on the patio. She gives me a good shove with all her strength but doesn’t move me an inch. “Spider, what the fuck is wrong with you?” she tries to demand, wanting to hold to me at arm’s length.
I could give a damn about the scene she’s making. Good, they can all know that we’re lovers and Jazzy is mine. Pushing her up against the wall, I take her jaw into my hand and pin her with my hips. My other hand is next to her head, holding me just a whisper away. “You won’t push me away until I’ve had my way with you. At least give me that much.” I take her lips, stealing any words she wants to spew at me and stealing the kiss I wanted at first sight earlier.
Heat ignites up my spine. The same chemistry we always share igniting and coming back to life. Her body and soul are a slave for mine. She needs me just as much as I need her. There is nothing here in this life for us without this; without each other. We are a match.
Jazzy fights against my body as her palms shove at my shoulders. Her teeth sink into my flesh, biting until she draws blood. The coppery tang of blood explodes in our mouths. Jazzy calms down when I loosen my hold and touch her with reverence. Her tongue sneaking out to lick over the wound. I moan and her hands pull me closer this time. She craves devotion and intimacy and it all clicks, how she needs to be loved. How much she has changed, how we both have. The destruction and chaos is gone. In its place is the calm and endearing lover seeking a match.
It can’t happen here and not now, and I pull us apart. “Take me home, Jazz.” Voicing my intention to be clear. Take me with her, my home. My hand takes hers, and I gently tug her along after me whether she was ready for this or not. It’s happening. She shattered my resolve to be alone and all that was left in me was her. Jazzy, one way or another, will come to understand it’s easier to give me what we both need then for me to take it. We did that before and I nearly killed us both.
Jazzy
On the back of Spider’s bike, it’s as close to Heaven on Earth an old school biker girl like me could get. My dreams were made on the back of one of these. From the time I was little and would ride with my dad and uncles, it seemed possible. I dreamed of a man who would claim me as his. It’s very tempting to open myself up to Spider. The craving to do right by myself is greater. I try to convince myself I can keep him at a distance until he goes back to Reno. That way, I can move on when he’s gone. Him coming here is playing dirty and we both know it. Each mile that passes, with each inhale of his aftershave, makes it even harder to not want to claim him for myself.
In my mind, I think of the reasons I should hate him. All of them, including him fucking other women and that helps to sour the hormones lighting up my libido for him. Every turn, I remember being alone, him not giving a shit to talk to me, and just casting me away. I remember it all because now he wants us, and I am going to remind him why it didn’t work.
He pulls over and I push off as quickly as possible. His touch is a searing reminder of who else has touched his body. He may not have been mine, but it still stung, nonetheless. Jamming my keys into the lock, I let us in, throw my bag to the table, and whip around.
“What do you want from me?” I demand, and hell yes, I’m picking a fight on purpose. Getting myself caught in Spider’s web again will only break me a second time. I’m not giving myself away anymore. I’m not a thirsty bitch for just any man’s attention or time.
“That’s how you want this to go?” A small smirk plays at his lips as he advances on me.
“Yes! You’ve been ordering me around like I’m yours, Spider, and I’m not. Not after everything. I thought we made that clear in Reno. Then you transfer clubs? Not a heads up, nothing.”
He shakes his head, “No. You tried to say something along those lines in Reno. We never had it all out, and tonight that’s happening. We can’t figure out what this is between us unless we are in the same goddamn state!” Spider relaxes his shoulders after shouting and thinks before the next words leave his throat. “You’re pissed off because you wanted me to run after you. Make a show of it for everyone to see. You’re mad because you wish you didn’t want me.”
“Fuck you, Spider. I’m sure there is club pussy you can go fuck. If your kink is a three-way I’m sure you can make that happen without giving me a call. I like my man focused on my pleasure, and I don’t share. What happened? Can’t get it up for some bitches unless you hear the gasp leave my mouth?” I spit at him, hoping it hits him hard in his nuts.
Spider
My cock turns to steel, ready to show her how wrong she is. “You sure about that? That I want just any bitch in my bed?” I question, deathly calm. Jazzy clues in and backs up slowly. I stalk her as she steps away from the predator, the same one she just taunted to come out and play. “I thought you wanted a hard man. You, my beautiful girl, are a liar. You may want that, but you want more of a sweet savage between your legs and in your heart.”
She shakes her head but doesn’t deny it. Not out loud anyway. “You see, Jazzy, you want to put up a fight for what I did to protect your pride. The problem is, you forgave me already, didn’t you?”
Her chest heaves and she stands stunned. Not wanting to give in, but stuck with the truth separating us. Holding the back of her head, I confess my truth first. “I regretted it the moment after I did it.” She wants to argue, but I don’t allow it, shaking my head this time. Her gaze is held captive in mine. The pain, desire, and need is all there, the exact same in mine is reflected. “I was wrong. The games we played back and forth weren't worth it. I know about lost time. I was so lost in my head and made mistakes, a lot of mistakes I can never take back.” I put it all out there, the calm, cold, hard truth. I need her to feel it, to believe it.
Jazzy’s chest inflates and shakes out a breath. “What do you mean?” I can see the walls start to crumble, but she’s not quite convinced yet.
“My life is dedicated to protecting those around me. I was lost in doubt with all the problems we had at the club. I didn’t protect you, and I’ll regret that most of all.”
Jazzy shakes her head again, and turns away from me, hiding her pain. She doesn’t trust me, and I can’t blame her. Slowly, I touch her shoulder, sliding my arm around her and then the other. She is firmly in my embrace. “I walked away when I should have ran to you.” Lightly, I kiss her head and inhale her. My arms tighten more around her. “I’m not walking away from you again. I’m staying here for you.”
Jazzy’s fingers dig into my skin. Her broken pieces are still lingering between us. Ones that I will fight to repair that I destroyed. She looks up and her lips tremble. So many thoughts are at war within her. I can see the uncertainty there.
Pressing my lips gently to hers, I stamp my devotion with my own heart on the line. “I’m all yours, and you're all mine. We’ll work it out, I promise. But not in one night. We have time.”
Her hands loosen from my cut and travel up to my neck. Jazzy’s fingers roam through my hair. It’s probably too soon, but I can’t stop the hunger in my body that wants to consume her. She stands on her tiptoes to seal our promise with a tender kiss. There will be no goodbyes. She may not be able to say the words, but she is giving me her body. One I will die before I misuse again.
My fingers dig into her ass and I press us together. Her hips are held against mine as my dick stiffens. She’s the kind of tough that comes from the inside, she loves hard. Jazzy pushes my cut back and I toss it into the direction of her couch.
Between kisses and moans. Our clothes are scattered around the house while she leads us to her bed. There’s a moment when her back hits the mattress naked before me, and her face shows how truly vulnerable she is to me. The truth is a beautiful disaster.
Instead of using words, I use my hands and mouth. I worship her body with kisses over her face, neck and chest. I leave not an inch uncovered. My hands glide over her flesh, nee
ding and massaging her tired muscles. Devoting my strength to her, every touch a promise. “I’ll never fail you again,” I rasp, my lips trailing down to her belly button and further. “Give me all of you, Jazz.” Caressing her pussy, I growl, “I’ve never been a man to love, but I’m going to try, Jazz. For you, for us.” Only she can stop this, when she gives me her body, her submission to us and the truth, she fully became mine.
Jazzy
Each connection with his caresses to my body, rips away a shred of the wall around me. The hidden pain I have lingering just for him. The comfort is bittersweet, and it takes me to a place only he can find. The place where I haven’t allowed myself to cry for him and the things we did to hurt each other. Spider’s tongue is teasing my clit and he begins to move faster with more intensity. The craving to explore our bodies is anew. Two different people but at the same time, the same. And maybe, finally, it is the right time.
His words, all of them sting, but the last ones ‘I’ve never been a man to love, but I’m going to try Jazz, for you, for us’. It shreds my insides and I cry my heart out when he strokes my swollen clit so full of need and hurt, wanting to be freed from my body. The freedom that can only be released by Spider. A tidal wave of pent up emotions wash over me with this orgasm. My body purging the darkness around the depths of my heart. The sudden burst of my muscles makes my entire body clench before it expels the truth.
With the last wave I start to crumble my body, exhausted from it all. Spider crawls over me and my legs cradle him like the most natural response, as it always does. His thumbs wipe away the lingering tears and kisses my eyes, cheeks, and lips. “I’m so fucking sorry I did that to you, to us.” His apologies creep down my body, inside my soul, and requests for forgiveness. “I didn’t know,” he rasps, the words raw and driven like a dagger.
My hand grips his hair at the top of his head as my shoulders shake and more tears leave my body. “It wasn’t your fault.” And it wasn’t.
“I swear, I won't ever do it again.” He crawls back up my body and I touch his face.
“There’s more… but can we talk about it later?” I want to tell him the rest, just not today. “We have time to share it all. It wasn’t your fault. What happened to her, it wasn’t your fault.”
Spider’s eyes narrow, not ready to give up, but allows me this concession. He’s giving me time, and that I am thankful for as he dips his chin once. The tips of my fingers run over his jaw; his hair is pricking at my fingers. Leaning in, his lips seek mine. Pulling them in for a strong intense kiss, our tongues taking over and exploring. His cock nudges into my folds and I pull him into my body. I need him to heal. I need to feel complete and his body offers me salvation, we needed this, together.
Spider groans as I trap him in my heat. A web that we can never leave but should never be caught in. A beautiful disaster of betrayal, lust, and the past.
Chapter 25
Spider
I’ve been awake for a while now in the early morning. Jazzy is going to flip her shit any moment with me curled up in our bed. Yes, our bed. I’m coming home to her every fucking night. She’s waiting for me to put distance between us, and that’s not going to happen. We need to find another place though. I don’t like parking my bike on the street. I need room for my computers and shit. This small apartment feels like a closet, especially as I glance around.
Jazzy is a slob. She has clothes tossed at the laundry hamper halfway hanging out. Another one that I assume is clean but not put away. Clothes are tossed across the room and on chairs. Wrappers and few take out boxes also litter the space. We are hiring a maid or she’s having another come to Jesus moment with me.
Kissing her shoulder, she starts to turn toward me, her leg wrapping over mine. Her bare waxed pussy grazing my morning wood. One thrust and I could be inside her. I wait for it though, the freak out first. She needs to be awake for this part.
Jazzy’s eyes flutter open and then flare when she realizes that I’m still here. Kissing the corner of her mouth, “Mornin’, baby.”
“You stayed.” She gasps.
“I did. I didn’t want to leave you hanging this morning.”
“Leave me hanging?”
“Yes. Your pussy needs me to take care of it.” To prove my point, I run the crown of my cock through her folds, then to her clit. “You want dick and I’m going to give you mine every day.”
“Every day,” she responds on a breathless moan. Good, she is too distracted to get wound up.
One thrust forward and it’s my turn. “Me and you, every day and night. Fucking and getting to know each other. I’m not leaving.” Rolling on my back I bring her with me to ride my dick. “Fucking, every morning.” My fingers roll her nipples between them and she tosses her messy ratty black hair back and I smile at how beautiful she looks. My eyes take in all the tattoos over her body. Every single one.
Our hips roll in sync, seeking pure desire from the other. Chasing our blazing passion in the other. Jazzy’s fingers glide down to her stomach and she rolls her little nub. My balls draw up and I hammer her from underneath until our cum mixes, coaxing the other along. It’s not enough and I hold her hips in place and gently rock her over me. Jazzy falls forward, her hands landing on my chest. Her dark hair is fanning out around us.
Our chests heave together. I need her more than I need the air to breathe. As simple as that. Her lips leave a light kiss over my heart. Unintentional, but she shows me without words her hesitation to give me more. With ease, she rolls out of bed and leaves for the bathroom. Jazzy needs time to believe the truth. She can put a door between us, but that will in no way stop me from proving to her what we will be. I’ll give her the space she needs at the moment to weed through the changes and her mind.
I get why Tank and Axl are such cocky fuckers. After I subdued my woman with my cock, I left to work feeling like I’m the king of the world. It’s all about the dick. It totally makes more sense than it ever has, and a twinge of regret hits me that I can’t rub it into their faces today. For her though, it is all worth it. Jazzy doesn’t believe me yet, but I’ll chip away at her until she does.
Swinging my leg over my bike, I take my ass to the clubhouse. We have church this morning and a vote. Placing me as an official member of the Sacramento chapter. The parking lot is barren, except Snake waits off to the side of the porch. He tilts his head back and I make my way over to him.
“Kilo got out early. Fuck, I had hoped we would have more time.”
“More time for what? What’s going on?”
Snake face falls ashen. “Look, you gotta ask Jazz for the details. But he was away on a long vacation while I worked some shit out for her. You being here complicates the shit I had going on. I don’t have time now, but watch your back.” This cryptic message irritates the hell out of me. The last three years was all cloak and dagger shit, and apparently I just jumped right into the next round of it. Snake looks around, “He got out the day before last from being locked up. You remember how Pawn landed where he was?” His eyes round and stare until the meaning streams into clarity.
“Why?” It’s the simplest, yet most complicated word. Why would he find a way to throw one of his brothers in jail, and need me to hear the reason from Jazzy? Jazzy. Now it makes sense, he did something so unforgivable that Snake would betray his brotherhood for his cousin.
“Talk to Jazz. You and I need to talk later.” Snake slaps my shoulder and plasters a greeting across his otherwise worried face and brings me in for a half hug. Other bikes roll into the parking lot and it feels an awful lot like the beginning of when we moved to Reno. My instincts hit the roof and my muscles clench. Anger takes over my morning high and reminds me to protect the people I care for. Only this time, it could get Snake and myself killed if anyone finds out his secret of betrayal. One I am going to help solve. I don’t know what this asshole Kilo did, but I will finish it.
Chapter 26
Jazzy
I ran and shut the bathroom door on our
moment. In the light of the morning, I wasn’t brave enough to see the look on his face after what we shared last night. It tore everything away that I believed to be true. Shredding my heart open again. After the last few years, all I have been doing is strengthening the bond with myself. Adding another person to trust with the barest parts of you feels like falling with no safety net. Jumping off a cliff and hoping they will catch you before you hit the bottom.
There was nothing left of my armor, it’s been demolished. Spider ripped it all from me in one night. One night, he had my heart back in his hands, and that’s what scares me. What if I get attached to him and then our world blows up again? Will I be strong enough to stand alone, and walk away if I need to? The fear I harbor is a reminder of what I have to lose. I trust myself enough to walk away because I feel that fear is healthy. A scar of what I want more than love, and that is me. I love myself and my happiness. Right at this moment, I make a pact with myself to see it through with eyes wide open and ready to walk if I need. I also promise to give him a real chance, or it all would be a damn waste of time and I don't want that either.
Pulling into the shop's parking lot, I head inside and tremble looking around. An eerie feeling of being watched races up my spine like a bolt of electricity. I try to fight against the urge to run back to my car and drive away. I will not be scared into not living. I tell myself it’s the timing with Kilo showing up last night after being locked away for how long? I didn’t have time to ask Snake what was going on. Now Spider is here, and Kilo. It feels like a lethal cocktail is being stirred. I absently think, one of us is going to end up taking that shot.
Claiming His Forever (Battle Born MC Book 8) Page 14