He parks on the curb next to a two-story home with a SOLD sign in the front yard. A lady stands out front and waves ambitiously at us. “Who is that?” I croak and finally turn to face him.
“I bought this place for us. Jazzy, the place you live in isn’t secure enough. I don’t want anyone to get to you easily. This house will have a full security system I can monitor from anywhere, and you can too. I want you to be safe and this is how I am going to do it.”
I’m too choked up to get any reply out. What do I say or do? The change from meeting Spider the first time until now, is extremely conflicting with who I knew him to be. It has blown me apart where I don’t have the usual fight in me like I had before. Spider has disarmed me within two days. This and with how life has torn me apart and finding my way, putting the pieces back together feels like I have been reborn. What I understood as the truth is now false. My foundation has been shook. But here stands Spider at my door holding his hand out. His strength radiates from him as he waits for me to come to him. It’s so much more than a gesture. It is everything.
I vowed to take life on, and it seems that this man is testing me to rise to it. Grasping the inner strength, I demand it to be present and I stand. Spider’s arm glides around my hip and holds me close to him. Spider murmurs into my ear, “I don’t always have the words, and I don’t always do the right things. But I want you more than anything else in my life.” He presses his lips tenderly on my temple and leads me forward. I’m taken back by what he’s done. But I pull a mask over my emotions and hold on to them tightly. My shoulders back, I walk with purposeful strides to meet the real estate agent at the front door. “Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Scott. Enjoy your new home.” What the hell has he told her?
“Thank you, Bridget.” The gorgeous redhead hands him the keys while her cheeks blush. Jealousy clings in the air between us and I growl lowly at her. Shocked, I snap back and laugh when his fingers dig into my sides and he bites my neck playfully. “Come on Mrs. Scott, open your new house.”
“Knock it off.” Batting him away, I encourage him to open the door for me. He swings the door wide and waits for me to walk in. Inside it has these warm wood floors and tall windows. The open floor to kitchen and dining room are breathtaking with the sunset flooding in. The space feels warm and comfortable.
“The house is fully furnished. All it was missing is you, Jazzy. Just you.” He tosses the keys on the table and leads me to the backyard. Spider flips on the lights for the patio and it illuminates with a soft glow. On the picnic table rests boxes of takeout.
“This feels too good to be true.” I can’t believe where I stand. My life as an adult has been crowded in doubt and bad luck. It’s on the tip of my tongue to argue, if he was to leave, I can’t afford this place. It is too much for me. Beyond what I am capable of taking on.
“It’s not too good to be true. Give me a chance to show you Jazz. I don’t deserve another chance after what has happened. But I am asking anyway. I can’t leave you alone until I know that I did everything I could to make it work this time. Even if you decided this relationship wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t abandon you. That’s a promise.” Spider pulls out a chair and pushes me into the table. “A smarter man would have done this before.” He winks at me and pops off the top to a beer before handing it to me.
“You are downright domestic and romantic, Mr. Scott. But please, I’m no princess. Sit down with me and let me feed you, after all you have done today.”
Spider slides his chair next to mine. I unbox the food. The smell of Italian cuisine wafts up around me and my stomach growls in response. He has plates setting on the table, but I push those to the side. He picks ups the fork and twirls spaghetti around it, lifting it to my mouth. I groan in response, “Too good.”
Spider is startled this time when I hold his face in my palms, “I’m not any good at relationships. But this is perfect.” Placings a tentative kiss on his juicy lips, I steal a moment to capture this memory. A perfect first date, and a real chance at forever. If it doesn’t last, this memory will.
Together, we share our meal and drink a few beers, inhaling our food after a long day of work. My head rests on his shoulder. “Jazz, I know I didn’t say a lot last night. There was just too much to say and I didn’t want to take away from what was shared. I needed to get my head wrapped around it. I’m sorry for my part and what I did. I heard every word. I won’t let you down again, I won’t give you a reason to doubt me.”
“I won’t lie and say I didn’t wonder why you didn’t say more last night. I expected you to be long gone and back in Reno by the end of the day.” It did hurt, and it was hard not to hear more about what he was thinking. I also knew that I dropped a bomb in his lap.
Spider tugs me up and over to sit in his lap. His lips trail across my collar bone and up my neck to my ear. “It wasn’t easy to hear. I needed some time to calm down. Jazzy, I don’t blame you for what happened. You shouldn’t either, we all want to go back and do it differently. I don’t have that power, even though every fiber of my being wants to. I’m sorry for what you went through alone. I get it now, why you did what you did.”
“Why did you push me away? I have to know Spider. How could you be with another woman? I hated you. Hated that you got a free pass at the pain while I suffered. I wanted to tear your world apart, but I couldn’t do that. Even with how much I hated you, I didn't do it.”
“No you didn’t. But you did push me away in your own way. What I did was worse. I got even. What I thought was even. Jazz, my life has been complicated. My brother started dealing and doing drugs after my parents died. There was no helping him. I was prospecting for the MC when he was high and robbed a store, and I couldn’t stop him. Before that, I tried. I would pull him out of comas and get him to rehab. As soon as he got out, he was sticking a needle back into his arm. My life became his, until I couldn’t anymore, and I decided to choose me. I didn’t answer his call and he died that night because I was running an errand for the club. After, I kept on thinking over and over if I just would have picked up the phone or took him one more time, maybe that one would have worked. The passed just snuck up and wiped me out after Solo died. All over again, I felt like I could have saved him. After some time, I realized I’ve been spending my life trying to make up for the past. It’s made me obsessive and closed off. Some wounds change us for life. I wasn’t in the right place either, is what I am saying when I did what I did, and neither where you. To me it looked like you were playing me to get back at your man. I think if we would have held on, we would have dragged each other in the hell we were living and never came out alive. Some roads we have to travel alone.”
I think about his story and how much he has harbored alone. It does make sense with the message that was sent to him for Spider to believe I was using him. He paid me back because he was pissed. I was reckless with the way I pursued Spider just to piss off Kilo. I needed to get him off my back. Is what I did any different? That's a shuddering thought. We were impulsive and chaotic in our pursuit to get what we wanted and in return ruined it all. What does that mean for us in the future if we relapse into hard times that are bound to happen? “What about when we hit rock bottom though, Spider, are we going to kill the other on our way to destruction?”
“You want a guarantee I can’t give you. I can say I dealt with my past. I let go of what I can’t change. I let my brother and Solo go in peace knowing I did what I could. I’m not perfect Jazzy, but I’m working to be better. That’s all I got, a desire to make it work and the endurance to be there for you when you need me, I know I can do that.”
Holding Spider to my chest I wish to the stars above to make this one right. Tempt fate to right the wrongs and trust into the unknown. It’s not going to be easy to trust myself, let alone Spider again. A day at a time is all I can give, and then we will see. If I’ve learned anything, it’s to trust in actions. The real kind, the small gestures that we don’t notice. Spider has come in and made it blindingly
obvious that he wants us. I can’t help but let my hidden love seep from my heart and attach to him even more as the minutes pass by.
Chapter 31
Spider
Last night Jazzy started to doze off in my lap. We talked far into the night about what happened between us. I didn’t want to rehash the past, but it was important to her to lay it out there. I broke her trust in me, broke her heart, and it will take time to gain that trust back. I laid her in bed and took her clothes off and my own before I curled her into my side.
I woke up at the crack of dawn to get her office set up next to mine in the house. With my black coffee in hand, in just my boxers, I sit down in front of her new computer. Powering it on, I rest my black framed glasses over my eyes and pull up a program I designed for Vegas’s business. As the spreadsheet pops up, I hack into Jazz’s work computer at her office and pull up her expenses and income reports. Within an hour I have her month balanced and set up.
I hear her come to me before I can see her. “What are you doing?” Jazzy asks me hesitantly from behind.
“Come look.” Opening my arm, she slides into my body. “I took a program I made for Vegas and inputted some of your data into the fields so you can—”
She jumps back, scowls at me, and snarls, “Did you hack into my shit?”
“Yes.” I stand and cross my arms over my chest. “You were struggling to get your work done. This will make it easy. So, you can be home.”
“I didn’t ask you to touch that.” She points at the screen.
“Your computer at your shop is shit. It wasn’t even a challenge to break in. Anyone could funnel money to their bank account; it wasn’t secure as this is.”
“You can’t waltz in here and after two days and trap me into all of this. Have you ever heard of taking your damn time and smelling the roses! I want to smell fucking flowers for once. I’m going to work.” Jazzy storms out of the house as if her temper set her ass on fire. The tires of her car are squealing out of the driveway and down our neighborhood.
“Really nice. Real fucking classy, Jazz.” Then an evil idea pops up. I get online and order a lot of fucking red roses to be delivered to her shop so she can smell those fuckers all day long. Slamming the laptop down, I get ready and head out to another wonderful day. Then I remember my bike is parked at the club and make a call to Snake to give me a ride.
“What’s eating you?” he asks around a mouthful of humor rolling down his window while he parks his black truck in the driveway.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Jesus, our neighbors really don’t need to hear every detail about our lives. Slamming the door, I impatiently wait for him to leave.
“Hmm, looks like you could use the help.” He says absently and starts to drive. “But you probably know what you’re doing because you’ve known Jazz a long time. You’re right though, none of my business.”
“Fine, asshole.” I explained to him what happened between when I left yesterday to now. “Then I sent her dozens of red roses so she can smell her regret all day long.”
Snake barks out a laugh. “That actually is pretty funny. Did you send a card?”
“No.”
He snickers, “It may not get the response you are wanting then. What if when she sees them, then gets all ooey and gooey.” Snake’s voice shrills, “Spider loves me and sent me these beautiful flowers because he knows I’m right and he is wrong. And when I get home, I will be waiting for an apology.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah, fuck is right. I would say follow it up with a text, but I would wait this one out. Okay so first off, you two have some shit to let settle between you two. Quit making so many changes while the dust is settling, man. Don’t interfere with her business unless you ask and then she says yes. Even if you know she is dead wrong, let her do it. If it doesn’t hurt anything leave it alone.”
“Why?”
“Well it’s hard to say this because she is like a sister, but you know, stuff.”
“Are you talking about pussy and blow jobs?”
“Yep, that stuff, you need to talk to someone else about it. Not me, not ever. Call my bratty sister, she can help you out. Most of the guys around here you shouldn’t talk about Jazzy with.”
I hear that loud and clear for a lot of reasons.
“So, think about what you want to say, then send her a text. Be smart about it. Like I said, call Vegas. I used up all my good advice with what you got. It’s bad decisions from here on out.”
Jazzy
“This motherfucker.” I stare at what looks like hundreds of roses on the reception desk, lined across the wall. The delivery guy keeps coming in with more through the doorway.
Anthony works in a room next to mine and whistles loudly, “Wow, someone hit it last night. Good for you girl, you needed a good dicking.”
“Shut up. He’s being an ass.” I swipe my phone off the front counter and dial Vegas. “Come pick up and take Spider home ASAP. He can’t stay here anymore; I will kill him.”
“What did he do?” I explain what happened in the last two days since they left. She is rolling with laughter on the other end.
“Damn, I can’t even be mad at that. Me and Blade fought like that a lot at first, we still do, just not as much. Girl, you are in love. If he didn’t piss you off so much you wouldn’t care. Therefore, why does it bother you? Give me the cold hard truth.”
Shit, why did I call her? Vegas and I have a similar past and are a lot alike. Of course, she would see it how it is. “He walks in here like the king of the world when I was handling shit on my own for years, years. Bossing me around like the dick he is. What if I get used to it and then he takes off, or it doesn’t work out? He wants me to leave my place that I can afford. I can’t pay for his place. It’s his, not mine. That’s putting a lot of trust in someone if you ask me, and he’s pushy as hell. Gets on my last nerve with this shit. Seriously, I know he sent those flowers in spite of me. That’s not romantic at all.”
“But it is hilarious, and you kind of deserved it. Look, how do you think he felt? He chose to leave his brothers that he loves like family. Spider has put in his blood, sweat, and tears into helping Blade get this clubhouse stable again. Then he walks away to go be with you. Transfers clubs, buys a house. By the way that is not easily done, he’s been planning this. Putting his effort into you. Even putting a more secure lock on your apartment to keep you safe for even a night. This is ridiculous. You get a man that you have always wanted. Guess what, these men are controlling for a reason. Possessive and overbearing because they are driven to stack the odds not to fail. You got what you asked for, buckle in for the ride and enjoy.”
Rubbing my temples, I growl into the phone, “I thought you would be more supportive. Run down here and kick his ass. I really wanted to hold onto my anger for a little longer, pick a fight, and ignore reality for a while.”
“Kids make you go from crazy fun, to more conscious, to cut to the chase. I’m definitely planning a trip to bring the girls and check out this place! I’m so excited for you.”
“Funny, I feel like you haven’t heard a word I said.”
“Oh sweetie, I have. Relationships are a real compromise. Spider isn’t a man of words, but actions. He’s telling you he loves you and he doesn’t even know it yet. You two need time to learn to talk and set boundaries. Be patient with his ass because what he did was so sweet. He messed with your banking to keep you near him and help you have more free time. Don’t be mad at him, teach him to talk to you. Take a picture of those roses, I want to see. Now, this doesn’t mean that we can’t have a little fun right?”
“I’m listening…”
“I thought so. Don’t text him back. That will drive him wild. Then, leave work early so he has to go find you. Set an ambush at your apartment and tell him, for now you are keeping it. You probably signed a lease anyway right? Sublease it if you can and tuck your money away.”
“Ahh, there she is. That’s what I called for, that
right there. Genius. Okay, I can drive him wild for all the pain and suffering he has put me through.”
“Definitely bitch. Call me later, the twins are up from their nap.”
“Give my babies kisses. I’ll talk to you soon.” We hang up and I don’t have much time to stew on why Spider is an ass while I get back to work. He likes giving demonstrations and now I have time to plan my own.
Chapter 32
Spider
Snake and I roll up to his and Jazzy’s grandmother’s house. Confusion laces the situation. Fuego sent us on a run to pick up bricks, or so I thought. Each club runs their own and Fuego, old school as he is, runs cocaine.
Snake falls into step with me and then abruptly stops. “When Prez gives us an order followed by, que le vaya bien, I hope things go well, he really means he wants to meet here; it’s our family meeting place.”
“Who else knows about this?”
“Cuervo, Ghost, Vegas, Blade, and now you.”
Looking around I don’t see his bike, but follow Snake’s lead into Abuela’s home. It isn’t far but close to the clubhouse. Inside, Cuervo sits next to Ghost and Fuego. Up until now, I didn’t see the resemblance between the brothers Cuervo and Fuego. Abuela flips tortillas for her sons. “Hola, si tengo hambre? You hungry mijo?”
She doesn’t wait for an answer but quickly makes two more plates with huevos rancheros, beans and rice. The room to my right catches my attention and there is a picture of Jazz with her father. Abuela must sense my curiosity and she brings the frame to me. “Mi, Gabriel, known as Diablo Negro,” she sighs. “He was a strong man and loving father. He, like mi esposo, my husband, died earlier on in life than most. Here, hold this one.”
Jazzy is young, maybe ten in the photo. She looks just like her father with her olive skin, dark hair, but has the features of her mother. If I were to guess, this photo was taken right before he died. Abuela comes back with another framed picture of her husband. “This es mi amor, Diego. ¿Bien guapo, no?” Her eyes crinkle more around her deep wrinkles. Nodding my head, I agree and pass her back the photos.
Claiming His Forever (Battle Born MC Book 8) Page 17