The Ring

by Steel, Danielle

  Is that all it is to you? Her eyes narrowed and she looked both angry and hurt. But he was quick to take her hand and kiss it softly.

  No, and you know it. But what I'm trying to point out to you is that because you're so goddamn horny he grinned at her gently "you're not willing to sit it out at Harvard for the next two years while I commute.

  But that's silly. It's hard on you and on me. You're going to be having more briefs to write, more research to do, now that you're working. How much time do you think you'll be able to spend coming up to Cambridge? And with law school getting as tough as it has this year, I can hardly get away. If I'm here, then we can just both do what we're doing together. The huge eyes looked at him, pleading, and he had to fight himself not to beg her do what she said.

  Tammy, I just don't want to influence your decision. It's too important. You're talking about a major change that could affect your whole career.

  Oh, don't be such a snob, for chrissake, I'm talking about Columbia, not Backwater U.

  How do you know they'll accept you as a transfer? He was desperately trying to do his duty, but he equally desperately wanted her to make the switch.

  I already asked, and they said I could start next term. He looked at her pointedly without commenting. Well? She looked at him expectantly.

  He drew a long, slow breath. I think this is where I'm supposed to discourage you and be noble.

  Is that what you want to do? She searched his face and his eyes met hers squarely.

  No. I want to live with you. Right here. Right now. But that's awfully selfish. You should be aware of that. He moved closer to her and their bodies touched lightly as they stood side by side. I love you and I want you with me.

  Then let me do what I want to do. She smiled up at him and he smiled in return just as Max and Ariana approached them, watching them with appreciative smiles.

  They were so young and so good-looking, so happy and so free, one wanted just to stand near them, to be a part of what they had before them. It was like looking down a long, long stretch of open road.

  You remember Tammy, Mother?

  I do. , Ariana gazed warmly at the girl. She liked her. She liked her looks and spirit. She just wasn't so sure about that tender, earnest look in her son's eyes.

  Maybe I should renew the introductions. After all, my mother has a new name. This time it was Ariana who blushed gently, as Max stood proudly by and grinned. My mother, Mrs. Maximilian Thomas, my stepfather, Max Thomas, and my friend, Tamara Liebman.

  Liebman Ariana was taken by surprise but managed to rein in her emotions quickly. Are you related to Ruth and Samuel Liebman? She hadn't dared mention Paul's name. Tammy nodded quietly, her eyes puzzled by what she saw and did not understand in the other woman's face.

  They were my grandparents, but they died a long time ago. I never knew them.

  Oh. Ariana was struck mute for a while. Then you're '

  Paul and Marjorie Liebman's daughter. And my Aunt Julia lives in London. Maybe you knew her, too.

  Yes ' Ariana was almost choking and she was suddenly very pale.

  Tammy couldn't know what was behind Ariana's shock. She only knew the anguish of rejection as a few minutes later they spun slowly on the dance floor and tears rolled slowly down her face.

  Tammy? Are you crying? Noel looked down at her tenderly and she shook her head. But her denials were useless. Come on, let's get out of here for a minute. He took her downstairs to the lobby and slowly they walked the halls. What's the matter, baby?

  Your mother hates me. A little sob escaped her as she said it. And she had so wanted everything to be all right. She knew how close Noel was to his mother, and it was essential that she fit in from the start. She had known that. But now it was already over.

  Did you see her face when she heard my name? She almost fainted in her tracks because I was Jewish. Didn't you tell her before now?

  I didn't think I had to, for chrissake. Tammy, this is the Seventies. Being Jewish is no big thing.

  Maybe not to you, but it is to her. Just like your being German was a shock to my parents. But at least I warned them! How can you not understand that about your mother? She's anti-Semitic, for chrissake, and you didn't even know!

  No, she isn't! Next you'll be calling my mother a Nazi. That wasn't likely, but it was exactly what her father had called him.

  Noel, you don't understand anything. She stood shivering in the lobby, watching people hurry down the street.

  I do. I understand perfectly that you're buying into their bullshit and all their old games. It's not our fight, Tammy. It wasn't our war. We're people, black, white, brown, yellow, Jewish, Irish, Arab. We're Americans that's the whole beauty of this country. That other stuff doesn't matter anymore.

  It does to them. She looked heartbroken as once more she thought of his mother, but firmly he pulled her into his arms.

  But it doesn't matter to me, do you believe that? She nodded. And I'm going to talk to my mother tonight before she leaves for the airport to see if you're right.

  I know I'm right, Noel.

  Don't be so sure. But she refused to go back to the party. They went upstairs briefly so she could retrieve her coat, and after politely saying good-bye to his mother, Tammy went back downstairs and he put her into a cab.

  Your friend looked very pretty, Noel. Ariana said it stiffly as they sat down in her living room after they got back from the reception at the hotel. They had three hours until she and Max had to leave for the airport. They were going back to Europe for their honeymoon, but only to Geneva and Rome. She seems like a lovely girl. But there was an odd silence in the room after she said it. She had already discussed it with Max when they had a few moments alone.

  Noel stood facing her from where he stood near the fireplace with a look in his eyes that said he didn't understand her tone. She thinks you don't like her, Mother. There was no answer. Because she's Jewish. Is that true? It was a quiet accusation as he stood there, and slowly Ariana lowered her eyes.

  I'm sorry she thinks that, Noel. And then she looked up at her son again. But no, that isn't why.

  Then she's half right-you don't like her? He looked angry and hurt by what he was hearing and it killed Ariana to go on.

  I didn't say that. She seems like a very nice person. But, Noel ' She looked at him bluntly. You have to stop seeing that girl.

  What? Are you kidding? He left the fireplace and stalked the room.

  No, I'm not.

  Well, just exactly what is going on here? I'm twenty-six years old and you're telling me whom I can and can't see?

  I'm telling you for your own good. The excitement of the past few hours seemed to have faded, and suddenly Ariana looked tired and old. Max reached out and touched her hand gently, but even Max couldn't comfort her for having to hurt her own son now.

  It's none of your damn business.

  She winced slightly. I'm sorry to hear you say that. But the fact is that when her father learns all about you, you're going to be hurt, Noel. You might as well know that now.

  Why? It was an agonized wail. And what the hell do you know about her father anyway?

  There was a long silence in the room, which Max was going to interrupt to save Ariana, but she quietly held up a hand. I was married to him, Noel, when I first came to the States. This time it was her son who looked shocked. He sat down heavily on a chair.

  I don't understand.

  I know. Her voice was gentle. And I'm sorry. I just didn't think you'd ever need to know.

  But weren't you really married to my father?

  Yes, but when I got here, widowed and frightened, I was terribly sick. I had come over on a boat sponsored by the Women's Relief Organization here. I don't think they even exist now, but they were very important then. And I was befriended by a lovely woman she thought quietly of her for a moment, sorry that she had heard from Tammy that Ruth was dead "Ruth Liebman, She was Tammy's grandmother. And they decided to take me into their home. They were wonder
ful to me. They nursed me back to health, they gave me everything, and they loved me. But they also believed I was Jewish. And I was foolish enough not to correct that belief. She stopped for what seemed like a long time. And then she looked straight at her son.

  They had a son. He had come back from the Pacific because he was wounded, and he had a crush on me. I was twenty then and he was only twenty-two. And after your father, he seemed ' well, like a little boy. But he was sweet, and he had just been jilted by the girl he'd been engaged to during the war. And she swallowed hard I discovered that I was pregnant with you, Noel. I was just going to leave them and have you, but ' something ' I don't know what happened ' , Paul kept asking me to marry him, and it seemed so simple. I had nothing at all to give you, and if I married Paul Liebman, I could do everything for you. She wiped a tear from her cheek sadly. I thought that ' he'd give you everything I couldn't, and I would always be grateful to him. She wiped the tears away with one hand. But two weeks before you were born, he came home one afternoon and found me looking at the photographs of your father and it all came out. I couldn't lie to him anymore. I told him the truth. And then he knew that the baby was Manfred's and not his. Her voice seemed very distant as she stared into space. He left the house that day, and I never saw him again. He only communicated with me through his lawyers. Her voice grew softer still. I never saw any of them again. To them, I was a Nazi.

  Noel left his chair then and went to his mother, and he knelt beside her, softly stroking her hair. They can't do anything, Mama, not to me and not to Tammy. Times are different now.

  It doesn't matter.

  He pulled her chin up gently with one hand. Yes, it does. To me.

  I agree with you entirely, Noel. Max stood up and spoke for the first time in half an hour. And now, if you will forgive me for being selfish, I would like to have your mother to myself until we leave. He knew that Ariana had had enough.

  Of course, Max. Noel kissed them both and stood in the doorway for a long moment.

  You're not angry that I didn't tell you, Noel? She eyed him with regret as they stood in the door, but he shook his head slowly.

  Not angry, Mother, just surprised.

  He'll be all right, Max reassured her as he walked her back inside. You don't owe anyone any explanations, darling. Not even him. And with that he kissed her gently and she followed him inside.

  Noel had already gotten into a cab, and he was at his own apartment minutes later, the phone in his hand. She was on the line a moment later, sounding unusually subdued.

  Tammy? I have to see you.

  When?

  Now.

  Twenty minutes later she was there.

  I've got a few surprises for you, kiddo.

  Like what?

  He didn't know where to begin. So he decided to take a dive. Like your father was almost my father.

  What? She stared at him in confusion and slowly he began to explain. It took almost half an hour to sort it all out, after which they sat and stared at each other, I don't think anyone in the family knows he was married before.

  Well, his parents obviously did, and his sisters. I wonder if your mother does.

  Probably. She thought about it for a moment. He's so scrupulous about honesty and revealing everything, he probably told her when they met.

  It's no reflection on him really. It was my mother who tried to pull the wool over his eyes. But Noel said it kindly, he had nothing but tenderness and compassion for what she had tried to do. He imagined the twenty-year-old pregnant refugee, and his heart reached out to her.

  The tragedy that had belonged to another generation had once more become just another piece of history with the passage of time. It made no real difference to them now, it only mattered to those who had participated in the drama long before. Are you going to tell him about us, Tammy?

  I don't know. Maybe.

  I think you should tell him now. Let's not wait to unveil any secrets till later. I'd like to get all our cards out on the table now. Our parents have had enough surprises in their lives.

  Does that mean you want to live with me, Noel? Her deep green eyes were filled with hope, and he nodded solemnly.

  Yes. It does.

  Chapter 49

  When the winter term ended, Tammy had already made her decision. She had long since organized the paperwork for her transfer to Columbia Law School, and all that remained was for her to pack her bags and vacate the tiny apartment she had rented in Cambridge with four other girls. Noel appeared bright and early on a Saturday morning, and together they made the brief trip to New York.

  At his apartment he had made space for her in every cupboard, and there were flowers and balloons and a cooler of champagne waiting in the fridge. That had been three months earlier, and there had been no problems between them, except one. Neither her parents nor Ariana knew about the arrangement. Contrary to his usual principles of total honesty with his mother, Noel hadn't told his mother that he was living with Tammy. And Tammy had simply installed her own phone on the desk, and when it rang, Noel knew not to touch her line. It would be her father calling to see if she was in.

  But in late May the game halted abruptly one day when Ariana came by to drop off some mail that had come to her house by mistake. She had been about to leave it with the doorman when Tammy came flying out of the building, carrying their laundry and her law books, on her way to school.

  Oh ' oh ' hello, Mrs. Tripp I mean Mrs. Max ' Mrs' . Her face had been one bright red flame as Ariana greeted her coolly.

  Visiting Noel?

  I ' yes ' I had to check some things in his old law books ' research ' a paper ' ? She wanted to lie down on the spot and die. Noel had been right. They should have told them months before. Now Ariana looked disappointed and betrayed.

  I'm sure he's very helpful.

  Yes, yes ' , very ' and how've you been?

  Very well, thank you. And then with a polite greeting she was off to the nearest phone booth to call her son. In the end he was just as glad it had happened. It was high time they knew. And if Tamara didn't plan to tell her father, Noel had made up his mind that he would. With a steady hand he dialed Information and then called Paul Liebman's office and made an appointment for two forty-five.

  The building where the cab stopped was the same building where Sam Liebman had established his offices almost fifty years before, and the office where Paul Liebman ran the firm's investments was the same office in which Sam had sat for so long. It was the office where Ruth had visited her husband and begged him to take the tiny blond German girl into his home. It was the office that German girl's son walked into with his long, confident stride; he shook hands with Tamara's father and quietly sat down.

  Do we know each other, Mr. Tripp? , He had looked Noel over carefully and there was something familiar about the young man. His business card showed him to be associated with a very reputable law firm, and Paul Liebman was wondering if the young man was there on the firm's business or his own.

  We've met once, Mr. Liebman. Last year.

  Oh, I'm sorry. The older man smiled pleasantly. I'm afraid my memory is not quite at its peak these days.

  Noel smiled gently. With Tamara. I graduated from Harvard Law last year.

  Oh, I see. And then suddenly he remembered, and the smile began slowly to fade. I assume, however, Mr. Tripp, that you are not here to discuss my daughter. In what way may I assist you today? They had only given the boy the appointment on the strength of his law firm's name.

  I'm afraid that your assumption, sir, is not quite correct. I am indeed here to talk to you about Tamara. And myself. I'm afraid I have some difficult things to tell you, but I want to be forthright with you from the first.

  Is Tamara in some kind of trouble? The man blanched. He remembered who the boy was now. He remembered perfectly. And he already hated his guts.

  But Noel was quick to reassure him. No, sir. She is not in any kind of trouble, In fact, she's in something very nice. He smiled and tr
ied to look less nervous than he was. We've been in love with each other, Mr. Liebman, for quite some time.

  I find that difficult to believe, Mr. Tripp. She hasn't mentioned you in months.

  I think she hasn't because she's been afraid of your reaction. But before I go any further, there's something I must tell you, because if I don't, sooner or later it will come out. And we might as well get it out right now. He looked away from the older man for a moment and wondered if he'd been mad to come at all. This was crazy. And it was also the hardest thing he'd ever done. Twenty-seven years ago I believe your mother was involved in a refugee organization here in New York. Paul Liebman's face tightened and Noel pushed ahead. She befriended a young woman, a German girl, a refugee from Berlin. Whom, for whatever reasons, you married shortly thereafter, only to discover that she was pregnant by her husband who had died in the fall of Berlin. You left her, and divorced her, and he paused for only an instant I am her son. There was an electrifying moment of silence and then Paul Liebman stood up.

  Get out of my office! He pointed savagely toward the door, but Noel didn't move.

  Not until I tell you that I love your daughter, sir, and that she loves me. And that he rose to his full height, towering over even Paul Liebman "my intentions toward her are entirely honorable.

  Do you dare to tell me that you wish to marry my daughter?

  Yes, sir, I do.

  Never! Do you understand me? Never! Is your mother promoting this arrangement?

  Absolutely not, sir. For an instant Noel's eyes flashed, too, but then the fire left Paul's gaze. Whatever had passed between them, Liebman would not malign Ariana now. He let the matter of Ariana drop.

  I forbid you to see Tamara again. There was rage in his face, based on an old, old pain he had never quite been able to forget.

  But Noel spoke calmly. I'm telling you now, to your face, that neither she nor I will obey you. Your only choice is to make peace with what is. And then, without waiting to hear the remainder of Liebman's anger, Noel walked directly to the door and left. He heard a huge pounding on the desk behind him, but by then the door to the office was already closed.