Destined

by Heather D'Agostino

  “I hope you’re right,” I cringed.

  The mix of emotions that were swirling through me had all but killed my appetite. I knew the sooner I found Nick, and talked to him, the better. Putting it off was only going to hurt us more in the future. Maybe I could convince him to come with me. If he loved me as much as he said he did, wouldn’t he want to? “I gotta go!” I quickly stood up from the table. “I’ll see you later.”

  “All right, honey. See you later. We’ll call Coach Wilson together,” My mom lowered herself into the seat beside my dad.

  “Thanks,” I waved as I stuffed a piece of toast in my mouth and jogged out the door. After climbing into my car, I turned out of the driveway, and began heading toward the little rundown house that Nick had been so obsessed with over the last month.

  ooooooooo

  When I pulled up in front of the house, Nick was nowhere to be seen. His truck was there piled with lumber and tools, but not him.

  “Hello?” I called as I pushed open my door. “Nick?”

  “Hey!” He came around the corner drinking a bottle of water. “What are you doing here?” He grinned as he removed the hat he was wearing and ran his hands through his sweaty hair.

  “I just wanted to come see you,” I stalled. “I feel like we’ve been missing time together these last few weeks. What are you doing?” I scrutinized the house. It was a mess. When he bought the thing, it was a little more than a shack. Holes in the roof, a broken down front porch, whoever had owned it before had let it turn to shambles.

  “I’m trying to get a good roof over the thing,” he glanced up and placed his hat back on his head, “But I can take a break. Wanna sit?” He motioned to the porch.

  “Sure,” I chewed the inside of my mouth and took a few deep breaths. The hopeful look in his eyes was so heartbreaking. I was getting ready to pull the rug from under him, and he wasn’t even going to see it coming.

  “What’s up?” He sat on the steps and rested his elbows on his knees.

  “Why do you think something’s up?” I looked away and stared out at the empty road.

  “Leah,” he warned, “I know you. I know when something’s bothering you,” he gripped my chin and turned me to face him. “What is it? You can tell me anything.”

  “Not this,” I muttered. “You’re gonna hate me.”

  Nick released his grip, and his brow creased. “You’re scaring me, Leah. What is it?”

  I swallowed, glanced down at my hands, and then blurted it out. “A scout made me an offer.”

  “Ok,” Nick swallowed and shuffled his feet. “What did you tell them?”

  I sighed, “Nothing yet.”

  “What do you want to tell them?” he whispered.

  “I’m gonna tell them yes,” I looked up at him and watched his face contort. His eyes blinked a few times and his mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. “It’s not for college, Nick. It’s the Olympics. They want me,” I pointed to my chest, “to run in the next Olympic games.”

  “So that’s it? You’re leaving?” He rubbed his hands down his face as he shook his head. “What about me? Don’t I mean anything to you?” He rose to his feet.

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “I love you, Nick, but this has been my dream since I was little. I can’t let this opportunity pass me by.” I was angry now. I crossed my arms over my chest in defense.

  “You sound like your dad, Leah…this isn’t you talking,” it came out with a sarcastic bite, and I watched the man I loved morph into someone I’d never seen before.

  “This isn’t about my dad. He’s happy, yes, but this is about me. My dreams, what I want, and if you loved me as much as you say you do, then you’d see that,” I pointed at him as tears began to form in the corners of my eyes. “I thought you of all people would see how hard this is for me.”

  “For you?” he gaped. “Leah, I bought a fucking house for us,” he pointed behind him. “I’m doing this for us, our future.”

  “Come with me,” I begged as I moved in front of him. I fisted his shirt in my hands. “Come with me…to Atlanta…we can make a life there. We can be happy together, you and me.”

  “I don’t know,” he muttered as he removed my hands from where they were bunched in the cotton. “That’s a lot to think about.”

  “Please?” I begged again. “For me?”

  “I said, I’ll think about it,” he growled.

  “I’m sorry,” I mumbled as I leaned up on my tiptoes and brushed my lips across his. “I have to go…I love you.”

  “Uh huh,” he muttered as he stood motionless, not reacting to me at all. “I’ve got work to do,” he turned, and stepped out of my embrace, heading back in the direction he’d come from.

  I stood there for a minute playing our conversation over in my mind. He seemed almost lost when I’d told him my news. It was as if I was rewriting our story and he didn’t want to be a part of it anymore. Now, I wasn’t so sure I could do this, but the part of me that held out hope for us propelled me home. If there was a chance that Nick would come with me, I’d take it. I had to do this. I had to take the plunge. Nick would come around. If I could get him to see what we’d have, I knew he’d come. It was going to take time, and patience, but I knew I could convince him.

  Next weekend we had a big date planned. It was our one-year anniversary. We were going out, and then Nick was going to spend the night at my house. My parents were going out of town for a small business convention and I was going to have the house to myself. I could use that time to show him. Show him what it could be like if he came with me. There was no way he’d want to stay behind in boring old Pittsford if he could be in Atlanta with me. Right?

  Chapter 19

  Nick

  “I can’t believe she’s fucking doing this. What the hell happened to our plans?” I paced back and forth in the living as my brother watched me.

  “Bro…” he warned, “you need to calm down.”

  “I can’t,” I growled. “She’s leaving and she thinks that all she has to do is ask and I’ll come running. I’m so fucking tired of following her. Doesn’t she get it? I was pursued, too. I turned them down. Me,” I pointed at my chest as I turned to face him. “I fucking told them no. Why they hell won’t she?”

  “Have you stopped to think about this from her side?” Cam mumbled. “She’s wanted this for as long as I’ve known her. It’s always been her plan.”

  “What about me? Where do I fit into the plan?” I huffed.

  “Dude,” he shook his head. “You weren’t part of the plan in the beginning. You came in after she’d scripted it all out. She asked you to come with her; what more do you want?” He stood and placed his hands on my shoulders. “Talk to her.”

  “I can’t,” I sighed. “I can’t go.”

  “Why? Because of me?” Cam pointed at himself. “I’ll be fine. I’m not a little kid anymore.”

  “It’s more than that,” I muttered. “I’ve got a house, now, and Mom, and even though you think you don’t need me, I’ve got to look after your sorry ass. Sooner or later, Sarah’s gonna get you in trouble.”

  “Whatever, dude. I say, screw it all and go with her. She loves you,” he sat back down and stared up at me.

  “I can’t…” I trailed off.

  “Does she know that?” He cocked his head to the side.

  “No,” I blew out a breath. “We’re going out tonight. I’m going to tell her later. I want to have one more night with her before I make her choose.” I turned and headed toward my room, “She’s gonna have to choose what she wants more…me…or running.”

  “Not a good idea,” Cam shouted at my back. “You’re gonna loose her.”

  “I already have,” I yelled back.

  ooooooooo

  Leah

  “So you’re really leaving?” Avery rolled to her side on my bed as she watched me get ready for my date.

  “Yeah,” I bit my lip. “Next week. Coach said they were giving me a week
to say goodbye to everyone.”

  “Are you nervous?” Avery mumbled.

  “No, not really. More like, sad,” I turned to stare at her. “I don’t want to leave all of you. I’m gonna be in a strange city with no one.”

  “I thought you said you asked Nick to come?” she cocked her head to the side. “You’ll know him.”

  “Yeah,” I turned back to face the mirror. “If he says yes.”

  “He loves you. He’ll say yes,” she giggled.

  “You really think so?” I smacked my lips together as I tossed my lip-gloss back in the drawer.

  “I do. He’d be crazy to stay here,” she waved her arms around. “Who wants to live in Pittsford unless they have to? It’s boring here.”

  “You’re right. You could come too, you know? We could be roommates,” I sat down beside her on my bed and slipped my feet into my sandals.

  “Um, no. I have to stay and help my mom. My dad flaked on the child support check again. She hasn’t been able to hire anyone new because she can’t afford to pay them,” Avery sat up beside me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

  “I’m sorry,” I leaned into her embrace.

  “It’s ok. He’s setting a stellar example of the type of guy I shouldn’t date,” she grumbled. “I better go. Nick’s gonna be here any minute to pick you up, and I know that you don’t want me around for this,” she giggled as she stood. “You guys have fun night,” she wagged her brows suggestively. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

  “Avery!” I gasped. “You’re impossible.”

  “No,” she grinned. “You’re home alone…in a house…with a nice, soft bed…and your amazingly sexy boyfriend is coming over. What do think is going to happen? You invited him to stay the night. You planning to play cards or something?”

  “Avery!” I lifted a pillow from my bed and threw it at her. “I’m not talking about this with you.”

  “It’s ok,” she shrugged. “I’ll just interrogate you tomorrow. Have fun,” she winked, and then skipped out the door.

  ooooooooo

  When Nick arrived to pick me up, I could tell something was off. He wasn’t his usual cocky self and he refused to look me in the eyes all night. We’d spent most of dinner in silence. I’d picked at my food and he’d spent the evening staring across the restaurant. I knew he was hiding something; I just wasn’t sure what exactly. I hoped that once we got back to my house, he’d finally open up to me.

  “You all set?” he stared across the table as he paid the check.

  “Mm hmm,” I nodded as I wiped my napkin across my mouth.

  Nick stood and offered his hand, “Let’s go.”

  We drove through town in the much the same manner as dinner had passed, silently. Every once in a while, I’d glance over at him and try to get him to look at me, but he refused. I knew he was upset, but I had hoped that we’d have a nice evening that wouldn’t be riddled with tension. I guess I was wrong. I was beginning to wish that I hadn’t told him about Atlanta until after this date.

  “Are you ok?” I whispered timidly.

  “Yeah,” he bobbed his head as he turned the truck into my driveway. “Why would you think I’m not?”

  “You seem quiet…that’s all,” I murmured as I pushed open my door and began to climb out.

  “Leah…” he sighed as he rounded the front and stood beside me. “I’m sorry. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

  “Why don’t you let me distract you for a little bit, then? Hmmm?” I turned to face him and trailed my fingers down his chest. “We’ve got the whole place to ourselves,” I giggled as I rose up on my tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his lips.

  At first, he didn’t react. It was as if his body was at war with his brain, and at the moment, his brain was winning the battle. “Nick?” I mumbled against his lips. “Kiss me.” I pressed myself against him and deepened the kiss. Within seconds, he gave in. His arms banded around me as he rubbed his hips against mine. He groaned when I reached down and squeezed him through his jeans. “Inside…now,” I gasped as I broke the kiss.

  Without even pausing, Nick reached down and lifted me into his arms. I shrieked as he began carrying me up the front steps and fumbled with getting the door open. We burst through it and he raced up the stairs, heading straight for my bedroom without even a second thought.

  Once we were in my room, the playfulness that we’d always had began to surface, and he finally relaxed for the first time. “Is this what you wanted?” His eyes darkened with lust as he tossed me on the bed. “Huh? Is it?” He quickly climbed on after me and braced himself on his elbows over me.

  “Yes!” I gasped as I lifted my hips to rub against him. My eyes rolled as I felt him slide his hand up my bare thigh. He began bunching my dress up as fast as he could, and before I knew it, he’d slid my panties out of the way and plunged his finger in. “Oh god,” I groaned. “Nick!”

  “That’s right baby. I’m the only one that can make you feel like this. Me…only me,” his tongue trailed up my neck, and when he reached my ear, he nibbled lightly. “Tell me!” he commanded.

  “Yes! Only you!” I panted and began clawing at his back trying valiantly to remove his shirt. He must have sensed my frustration, because within seconds, he reared back and sat on heels as he pealed his shirt over his head, and tossed it somewhere behind him.

  I pushed myself up on my elbows and leaned forward, trying to make quick work of his belt. “Someone’s in a hurry,” he teased as he shimmied his jeans down his thighs.

  “Shut up and come here,” I reached for him again and pulled his mouth back down to mine all the while lifting my hips to rub against him again.

  “Shit, Leah! Slow down!” He scrambled to get a condom on, but paused over me before continuing. “You know I love you, right? You know I’d do almost anything for you?”

  I nodded as I watched his face contort. Something was hiding in the shadows of his expression. Something was torturing him, telling him he couldn’t have me. I could see it; I just didn’t know it at the time. Looking back…he was trying to tell me all night, I just wasn’t picking up the signals. “I know,” I cupped his jaw. “I know you do. I love you, too.”

  In one swift motion, his tongue plunged into my mouth as entered me. As our bodies melded together, a sense of peace floated around us. This was home. Each of our souls knew it. We’d been destined to be together our entire lives, and even though the universe was trying to tear us apart, I knew right then that we could make this work. Nick could come with me. We could be together. He was going to tell me yes. I could feel it. With every plunge of his body, every kiss, every touch, every soft spoken word…all of it. It was his way of saying yes.

  “I love you so much,” I continued to reaffirm my feelings. “We can do this, you and me. We can. I know we can,” I peppered his face with light kisses as he picked up the pace.

  “Leah?” His eyes squeezed shut as his entire body shuddered above me.

  “I know,” I whispered as he collapsed on top of me. I welcomed the weight. It made things real. Having him there, so vulnerable and open, only made me love him more.

  I don’t know how long we stayed cuddled together on my bed. Minutes? Hours? I could have stayed for days. I knew as soon as reality began to creep back into the corners of my mind that I needed to reassure myself. If we were really going to do this together, I needed to think about how I was going to broach the subject with my parents.

  I rolled closer to him and turned on my side. Our sweaty bodies pressed more firmly together as I reached over and began drawing slow circles with my fingertip on Nick’s abs. The muscles bunched and quivered under my touch, and I swallowed as I worked on my courage.

  “So did you decide?” I pushed myself up on my elbow and glanced down at Nick.

  He sighed and slid himself up against my headboard, sadness flitting across his face. It was a different expression, not the one that had filled me with hope. “Baby…I can’t just leave.”


  “Why not?” Tears welled in my eyes. “Don’t you love me?”

  “I can’t believe you’re asking me that?” Sadness morphed into anger as he pulled himself from the bed.

  Nick began pacing the room, working himself into a rage. Fear at what was going to fall from his lips began to consume me. Didn’t he love me? After what we’d just shared, I had thought he did. Sweat still glistened on my skin from the heat that we’d created. My sheets were still tangled around my legs.

  Nick quickly pulled his jeans on and began riffling through our clothes as he looked for his shirt. When he found it, he yanked over his head.

  “I can’t believe that you thought you could convince me to go because of that,” he pointed at the spot on the mattress that he’d just vacated. “I’d do anything for you, but I guess it’s not the same for you as it is for me.”

  “What are you saying?” My lip began to quiver as he turned toward my door. Reality came crashing back in as I watched my biggest fears unfold right before my eyes. He was going to leave.

  “I can’t just up and leave. I have a family here, one that needs me. I gave up so much for you, yet you’re going to walk away from all of it for this,” he ground out.

  “I didn’t ask you to give up football,” I jumped from the bed, wrapping the sheet around me. “You decided that all on your own.”

  “That’s the point,” he shook his head. “I gave it up for you without you asking me to. I love you, but I guess it isn’t enough.”

  “Isn’t?” my lower lip trembled.

  “Goodbye, Leah,” he sighed as he stepped through my door for the last time.

  “Nick! Please!” I begged as I watched him jog down the stairs and pause at the front door. “Don’t do this,” I cried.

  He placed his hand on the knob and waited. “I love you, but I always knew that one day you’d wake up and see I was never good enough. I guess I just hoped that I’d have a little longer before that happened.”

  “Nick! No!” I fell to my knees in my bedroom doorway and stared at his back.