Long for Me

by Stacey Lynn

  He grinned, wicked and delightful and my body spasmed. “I change my mind. Use the sir while you’re in the office. I like you thinking of yourself as my sub while you’re at that meeting with Jakobs.”

  He threw me into a whirlwind. If I continued this with Bennett, he’d have me so dizzy I wouldn’t remember which end was up.

  My phone rang. Needing a diversion from his deep brown eyes, I picked it up quickly.

  “Bennett Ashby’s office, this is Rebecca.”

  “Yes, this is The Chop House, calling to confirm Mr. Ashby’s reservation for two tomorrow night.”

  I hadn’t forgotten his reservation, the private dinner table, with the lack of a client’s name which told me it was a date. I’d just assumed he would have asked me to cancel it, now that we were...fucking? Under contract?

  “Chop House is confirming your reservation.” My voice was quiet, meek. I hated the sound as it rang in my ears. “Do you want me to cancel?”

  He tilted his head. “Why would I do that? Confirm it.” He glanced at the watch on his wrist. Thick, black leather band, the platinum face shone like it was brand new. “You need to get moving to get to Jakobs’s office in time.”

  He turned and left my office. I stood there, stunned at his sudden departure, my mouth gaping until the woman on the other end of the line grabbed my attention.

  “Um, miss? Can you confirm the reservation?”

  “Yes.” I blinked back tears as everything went blurry. “Two for tomorrow night at eight.”

  “See you then, thank you.”

  I hung up the phone and moved woodenly, gathered my things for the appointment.

  All while spending the time during the trip across town blinking back tears and trying to figure out Bennett’s motive. Why would he keep a date with someone else when he was with me? I always knew who his reservations were with, unless it was a date. But any client meeting, I kept a record of. This was twice now he’d mentioned this date, and the only time I wasn’t given a name was when it was with a woman he would neither see again, or need any recollection of.

  Damn it. I’d slept with him several times in the last three days. Been given more orgasms than I could count on one hand. I’d let him spank me. Bathe me, clean me. I’d let him care for me, thinking it meant something to him.

  And in that time, when I’d made myself more vulnerable to him than I had ever to anyone in my life, he’d still been planning to push me aside for someone else.

  That sexy, arrogant son of a bitch.

  Chapter Twenty

  Rebecca

  I’d nailed the meeting. My rage at Bennett had done wonders for my concentration. Every question the board tossed my way, I lobbed back the perfect answer. My anger quickly turned to the adrenaline rush of the victory of scoring the perfect designer shoes on clearance, in the exact right size, during a Black Friday shopping marathon.

  If it wouldn’t have killed my credibility, I would have thrown my hands in the air and waved them like I was rushing on the downward slope of a roller coaster. A large one.

  “Thank you,” I said instead, shaking the last board member’s hand as they filtered out of the conference room.

  Mr. Jakobs had been surprisingly quiet during most of my presentation. He’d come in, introduced me and taken a seat at the head of the table, clasped his hands together and let me do my thing.

  Throughout the presentation, he’d worn a thoughtful expression, less, it seemed interested in my proposal and more curious as to how I handled it. Perhaps it was because he’d already heard the whole thing once, but once the room was empty and he was still sitting in the same seat, I highly doubted it.

  Walking to the computer, I shut everything down and unplugged it from the projector. “I think that went well, don’t you?”

  I wouldn’t know their answer, but based on everyone’s responses and pleased expressions as they left, I figured Bennett would be getting a call soon.

  “You’re impressive,” Mr. Jakobs said. He pushed from the table and stood, grabbing a file as he walked toward me. “And while I was originally disappointed when Bennett said he couldn’t make the meeting, I’m even more thrilled he sent you.”

  “Why is that?”

  He handed me the file in his hand and nodded toward it. “Because I talked to the board last week about wanting to bring you on, and what position we could create for you.”

  I looked at the file, at Jakobs, at the file, back up. My eyes had become ping-pong balls. “I’m sorry, what? Did you just say—”

  “Create a position for you? I did. We want to bring you on as our new Executive Project Manager. You’ll have full control over all new developments we create as well as the budget to create your own team.”

  Oh. My. God. The file in my hand began to tremble and I dropped it on the laptop like I’d been burned. I felt like I’d been burned. My skin was tight and hot, itchy. My blood raced through my veins at insane speeds. The rollercoaster I was on crashed to an abrupt landing and I jolted, stumbling back two steps.

  “Mr. Jakobs—”

  He lifted a hand. “Anderson. And it’s just an offer, Rebecca. Take it home, look it over. Take all the time you need.”

  Take all the time I needed to decide to uproot my career? To leave Ashby Enterprises? I’d worked there since I was eighteen on a summer internship, working my way through a two-year business degree. It was the only company I’d worked for, and up until I went to work for Bennett, I’d never regretted that.

  I’d been loyal to his company, loyal to him, but after how he’d treated me today...

  I shook the thought out of my head. I’d worked too hard to make professional decisions based on emotions, but damn it. I was still hurting from the way he’d looked at me earlier, how he was going on a date when my ass was still sore from him.

  I picked up the file and my computer. “I’ll look at it and let you know as soon as I have a decision.”

  “Excellent,” Jakobs said. I shook his outstretched hand and gathered my things.

  Halfway back to my office, I made an abrupt left-hand turn down a side street, pulled my car into a CashWise liquor store.

  Then I took my two cheap bottles of white wine home, turned off my cell phone so no one from the office could call me, most especially Bennett, poured a glass of wine, tossed the job offer onto my kitchen table, and went to take a bath.

  I was only putting off the inevitable. When I didn’t return to work, when I didn’t let Bennett know how the meeting went, he’d come looking for me.

  My bath and my wine and my lack of cell phone were merely an avoidance.

  I slipped into the water, glass of wine in one hand, regret in the other, and hoped like hell by the time Bennett found me, the memory and feel and taste of him moving inside me and taking care of me would be washed away.

  Then I hoped it would give me clarity on what I was supposed to do next.

  Fat freaking chance of that happening.

  * * *

  The pounding vibrated against my door later than I expected. Dinnertime had come and gone and I hadn’t yet turned on my phone, but Bennett’s meeting would have been done hours ago.

  I was only halfway through my second glass of wine, deciding to forego getting drunk before I found the nerve to look through Jakobs’s job proposal.

  Dressed in flannel pajama pants, a tank top and a matching flannel buttoned top, thick socks covered my feet propped on my coffee table, while the fireplace roared in front of me, heating the small living room.

  “Shit,” I muttered and took another sip of my wine. I should have drunk more. I should have gotten drunk. Bennett didn’t play sexually when his sub was drunk.

  Staying sober wasn’t my first mistake, though. No, that had happened when I gave myself to him repeatedly through
the week, trusting he meant every word he said to me.

  Another knock hit my door, the sound of an angry fist and while he hadn’t shouted my name, Bennett’s furious presence still seeped through my thick, wood door. I had started this game, unintentionally, but I’d still done it. Hiding from him longer would only make things worse.

  Too bad that in the hours where I’d had my bath, lathered on lotion afterward and thrown my hair up, twisting it into a bun at the top of my head, and then suffered through a meager dinner of store-bought sushi I had in my fridge, I hadn’t come to any great conclusions on what to do.

  Stay with Bennett, stay employed under him and beneath him per the contract, or leave everything behind.

  My need for safety screamed at me to leave, to walk away and never look back. But somehow, my few times with Bennett had created in me a new need, one that was bubbling just below the anger and pain rolling through my blood: passion.

  As another knock reverberated against my door, I slipped to my feet and set down my glass of wine. I moved slowly, quickly creating a mental pro and con list on all the reasons to stay with Bennett but as I opened the door, swinging it wide open before he could crash his fist through the wood, I realized my mistake.

  In the hours we’d been apart, I’d forgotten how absolutely, undeniably beautiful the man was.

  “Good evening,” I breathed, already losing my voice and my brains in front of him. His hands were fists on his hips, unbuttoned suit coat flared behind his hands. His tie was knotted at the base of his throat, his shirt still perfectly pressed like he’d just thrown a fresh one on.

  Perhaps he had. Perhaps he’d been with another woman and gotten re-dressed before coming to scowl at his plaything.

  Because he was definitely scowling.

  “That’s what you have to say to me? ‘Good evening’?” He stepped into my house, his chest pushing against mine as he barreled both of us backward.

  The door slammed shut behind him and then his hands were back on his hips, fingertips gripping the fabric of his waistline in a way that told me he was trying not to wrap those fingers around my throat.

  Mental note: Bennett didn’t like it when I avoided him.

  I scraped whatever confidence I could find off the floor and tilted my chin defiantly. “What are you doing here?”

  He scanned my face. “Would you like to explain to me what in the hell happened to you today? And why you’re acting like this?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Bennett. I’m simply home after a busy day of work.”

  “And your phone? Do you know how worried I was when you didn’t answer any of my calls?”

  God, his voice. So deep and guttural like he actually meant it. Either the wine or he was giving me a headache. I rubbed my forehead. “Can we please not do this, Bennett? It’s late and I’m tired.”

  “Yeah, you’re tired. Tired because you were taking my cock all last night and half the morning and if you think you can give me that and then shut me out with whatever bullshit game this is, then you’re not thinking clearly, Rebecca. Now talk. You can’t give me what you’ve given me this week and then expect me not to wonder what in the fuck is up with you.”

  He was leaning forward as he spoke, bending down so his face was inches from mine but it wasn’t his beauty I was absorbing. It was the way he spoke, so deeply and emotionally. The way his veins popped on his throat and his jaw was so hard I thought it might snap. Which is why I stupidly asked, “What did I give you?”

  My body. My cunt. My attitude or my kisses was what I was expecting.

  One side of his lips hitched and he grinned, rocking me backward with the force of a boulder. “You, Rebecca. You gave me you, all of you. And you can’t give that to me and walk away from me.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Bennett

  This woman. This ridiculously, crazy, asinine woman was going to be the death of me. When she didn’t return my phone calls earlier, I figured her board meeting went later than it should have. Then the time clicked on, an emergency came up with another client, and it was hours before I realized that not only had she not returned to the office, but she still hadn’t returned my phone calls.

  From an employee, it was absolutely unacceptable.

  From Rebecca, my sub, my woman, mine, it made my head want to explode right off my body. If she thought for one single second she could hand me the beauty she did in my bed, and lock me out, she had some serious reevaluating to do.

  She licked her luscious, plump bottom lip and dark pink flooded her cheeks while her eyes roamed my face. Whatever the fuck she was searching for, she found it. “You, what? I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

  So fucking exasperating. The urge to pick her up, take her over my knee and spank the shit out of her for terrifying me earlier slammed into my chest and I sneered at her. “Don’t. Don’t act like what we’ve shared this week isn’t special. It fucking was, sub, and you know it. Don’t sully it now with whatever the fucked-up mess is in your mind. Tell me why you are hiding from me.”

  “Bennett.” Her palm, warm and soft pressed against my cheek. Just the touch, the soft hint of her flesh of her hand on mine soothed the caged beast inside me. Until she spoke again and with it, pain lashing across her so visible, it was like I’d slapped her. “I’m just your sub.”

  “Like fuck you are.” I pulled her to me. My hands gripped her trim waist and my mouth covered hers. My kiss wasn’t sweet, it wasn’t exploratory, it was commanding and owning. I parted her lips roughly, shoving my tongue inside and kissed her until she succumbed to the weight of me and the fact that I owned her. She needed a reminder? I’d give her one. I kissed her harshly, devouring her and taking everything from her until her gasp of shock turned into needy little whimpers, the ones that drove me wild and shot lust straight to my cock.

  It hardened against my suit pants and I rolled my hips, pulled her against me until there was no denying that with a simple, fucking kiss, I was hard as a rock. God, she undid me. And I’d get to the mess inside her head, whatever it was that caused her to slam down her walls until I reminded her exactly what she was to me.

  Mine.

  Whenever I wanted. Wherever I wanted. For as long as I wanted.

  I yanked away from her mouth and stared at her, waited until her desire-filled eyes flickered and met mine. “Go to the couch, bend over the arm rest, and yank down your pants, Rebecca. You want to be just my sub. You’ve got it.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  I gripped her harder on her hips. I could rip down her pants, discard her underwear and throw her over my knee, but damn it. She wanted to be just my sub? She had to give it to me.

  “I have a signed contract stating I can discipline you in the manner I see fit. One that also states you are to obey and serve me and fucking respect me, in the manner I see fit. And you avoiding me, running from me with whatever got into your head and muddled it, then turned off your phone so I couldn’t see to your damn safety is neither respectful nor obedient. I’ll say it again, sub. Strip off your clothes and bend over the couch.”

  Her nostrils flared, and fuck I wanted to find out what made her so damn angry. I’d left her secure in knowing she was going to nail the meeting with Jakobs and since I’d already gotten a phone call from him saying they were thrilled with her proposal and were ready to move forward, she’d done exactly as I’d suspected she would.

  I also knew she was more amendable, easily pliable once sated from a good spanking and orgasm. “You can red if you want, sub. But I can already smell how wet you are for me. You’re pissed, and we’ll get to that, but you don’t want to end this yet. You might hate it, but you want what I give you. Every delay adds to how many spankings you’re going to get. Now move.”

  She huffed, her breasts heaved aga
inst my chest and in a move I had almost come to miss, she sneered. “You’re an asshole. And if you want me to obey, you have to let go of me.”

  I dropped my hands from her and slowly arched a brow as she continued glaring at me. If daggers could shoot out of eyes, I’d be a fried pile of ash. Luckily for me, the fire in her eyes only turned me on more. Made my palm burn with the excitement of reddening her ass until she was mindless and bathed of all her anger.

  She moved, spun on her heels and stomped to the couch. With quick, angry jerks of her hands, she yanked down her pants and stepped out of them. Glaring at me over her shoulder, she hissed, “You’re an asshole.”

  She bent over the armrest and I didn’t bother hiding my grin.

  Fuck, this woman. She made me want to laugh and rage all at the same time. I’d never had a woman that threw me into the tailspin at the same time making me feel like I was soaring. She was excruciatingly delicious.

  And I loved every single damn minute of her defiance and angry obedience.

  I stepped up behind her, close enough I could see her back rising and falling with her quickened breaths. Close enough I could see her thighs glistening with her moisture. Hell, yeah, she liked this shit.

  I ran my thumb up her inner thigh, caught her shiver from my gentle, and most likely surprisingly soft touch and then pressed it to her mouth. “Suck the taste of you off me, sub. You’re fucking drenched.”

  She opened her mouth, took my thumb like I told her to, like she’d done the other night and hummed with satisfaction.

  “You’re pissed at me, but you want me. Sucks, doesn’t it? To want someone who pisses you off so much?”

  The edge of her teeth scraped against my fingers and I laughed. “Yeah, bite me and I’ll become more creative with you tonight. Perhaps I’ll cover you in my cum without letting you finish. Would you like that?”

  She made a noise, a groan of dissatisfaction and widening her eyes, glared at me. “Yeah. That’s what I thought.”