by Natalie Ann
But add in the fact he hadn’t been with a woman in almost a year, and it was enough for him to wish he didn’t have jeans on.
It was only eleven, not really late for a Friday night, but since he couldn’t sleep he took a risk and sent Jill a text. Thanks for the company tonight.
A few minutes went by with no response and he figured she was sleeping, so he put his phone down and rolled over, hoping to fall asleep himself.
The minute he shut his eyes, he heard his phone go off, then reached over to grab it quick. It could be his mother regarding Luke.
But it wasn’t. It was Jill. Thanks for the kiss...and for keeping me awake with thoughts of it.
Now that sounded really promising.
You aren’t the only one wide awake right now, he typed back quickly.
I’d ask if there was anything I could do to help, but unfortunately, it might make matters worse.
She had a point. Then I’ll just say goodnight and see you on Monday.
Night, Owen.
He put his phone on the bedside table and rolled back over with a smile on his face, hoping to fall asleep this time and ignore the throbbing in his boxers from their simple little text exchange.
He had it bad.
Made a Production
By Monday morning Owen couldn’t wait to see Jill again. He’d wanted to text her on Saturday and even Sunday, but didn’t. He’d all but said they were going to go slow, or that was his plan, so texting her over the weekend would be just the opposite and might make things more difficult in the long run.
That thought sounded good to him at least, making him wonder if he was making up excuses in his head because he was afraid to venture out again when he’d always looked forward to dating before.
Times had changed and things were different. Now he had to worry about Luke and his reaction to Owen having a woman in his life.
And he had to worry about a woman not wanting a kid interfering in a relationship.
He was sitting at his desk before they opened for the day like he always did. Opening at seven in the morning helped him beat the morning commuter traffic, but it also meant he didn’t get to see Luke before school.
Since Luke started school at nine, Owen didn’t have the heart to wake Luke before he left each morning around six-fifteen.
Instead, his mother, who was an early riser and lived on the same street, came down and stayed in the house with Luke, then got him up and ready for school, dropped him off and picked him up at the end of the day. He’d be lost without his parents.
He heard some voices outside of his door—female voices—and glanced up to see Jill walking down the hall with another tech, her jacket on and her purse over her shoulder. She must be on her way in for the day.
She turned her head slightly and caught his glance on her, sent a wink and kept walking. He wasn’t sure if he was happy that she hadn’t made a production of saying hi, or severely annoyed that she couldn’t be bothered.
It seemed she was good with his “going slow” conversation for the moment. Was he disappointed over that? He really wasn’t sure.
The day was moving at a steady clip, even if Owen had been hoping to see more of Jill, but so far all it consisted of was glimpses of her walking back and forth down the halls with patients or popping in quick to say results were ready for him to look over before a patient could leave. Most times patients just left, but often there were special cases and he wanted to make sure they didn’t leave before he knew the scans were easily read.
He was typing up a report when he heard a knock at his door, looked up and saw the senior radiologist standing there, Dr. Gary Jones. Gary hired all the techs, oversaw all their work, and signed off on everything that Owen wrote up. He wouldn’t be surprised if Gary just signed his name without reading anything half the time.
“Got a minute?” Gary asked him.
“Sure.”
Gary walked forward and shut Owen’s door, then sat in the chair across from him. “How’s it going?”
“Good,” Owen said, wondering what this was about. Gary liked to come in and just chat when Owen would rather work. It’s not like the two of them had much in common other than their jobs and very rarely did Gary want to talk about a patient’s results.
“I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors that I’m close to retirement.”
“I haven’t heard anything,” Owen said.
Which was true. When he talked to anyone, it was work related and so far Gary’s name hadn’t come up much other than patients weren’t requesting him for most things anymore.
“Well, between you and me, I plan on retiring at the end of March.”
“Six months,” Owen said.
“Yeah. An official announcement will be made in another month or so and they will look to fill my position. The thing is, I’m recommending that you’re promoted to oversee the whole diagnostic screening department. Mark has been on my case to take some things off his plate for years and I’ve rebelled.”
Mark was Dr. Bronson and ran the whole facility. Owen could see where Mark would want Gary to step up rather than stepping back. “I’m honored.”
“You’re young and motivated. You’re knowledgeable and a great asset here. I think it’s exactly what Mark needs. I’m going to be talking to him later tonight and telling him my thoughts. If he’s in agreement, he’ll talk to you and then the next step will probably be to replace your position. Or at least just bringing another radiologist on board.”
He had a million things going through his head right now. He liked what he was doing and felt that he almost took a step back coming here from where he was heading at MD Anderson. But he needed the stability of this job over working in a hospital. He needed a Monday through Friday schedule because of Luke. This would be a good stepping stone for him and Luke wouldn’t always be a young child. So this so-called step back in his eyes might actually be a leap forward.
“Thanks,” he said.
“I’ll ask you to keep quiet on this regardless of the outcome. And it’s best that you keep your nose clean.”
The insult wasn’t lost on him regardless of having any call for it. “Meaning?” he asked, barely keeping an edge of frustration from his voice.
Gary just waved his hand. “Nothing specific. Just that whenever people are being looked at for promotions it’s best their personal lives are clean. No one really knows much about you or your situation.”
Owen snorted, realizing this was a prying session now. It was not the first time Gary tried to find out more about him, or others for that matter. He just didn’t understand why people couldn’t respect his privacy.
“Don’t worry about my personal life. It’s rather dull at the moment.”
It was more than he planned on saying, but it’s not like he would tell Gary what he really wanted to say.
“Will do,” Gary said, looking annoyed he didn’t get any information. “I’m sure Mark will be in touch with you soon.”
“He knows where to find me,” Owen said.
“Don’t work too hard,” Gary said.
“That’s a funny statement considering you just said you were recommending me for your job.”
“Yeah, it was, wasn’t it?” Gary said, grinning. “It’s just you’re here before the place opens and here around close every day. That’s a ten-hour day because we know darn well you hardly ever leave for lunch. You don’t have to be here first thing or stay until the end of the day.”
Owen knew that, but it was how he worked. He liked to get his reports written within twenty-four hours of a screening for someone. Sometimes things were time sensitive. When he could leave earlier than five, he did. He knew there would be times he’d have to skate out for school situations, so he wasn’t going to push his luck so soon in his position.
Gary had left his door open and Owen happened to be looking up when Jill walked by and sent him a little wave. No one else must be around or she wouldn’t have done it, but it just reminded him that
he probably should slow down even more now and wait until he found out what was going on with Gary’s job.
***
It’d been over two weeks since their date and Jill was trying not to get too frustrated. She knew Owen wanted to go slow, but this was slower than a sloth on Valium trying to cross the Sahara.
They’d had one other lunch together, where they met a few miles from the office. He was still funny and had a great personality, but it was a tease to see those parts of him and then not be given any more.
They talked or texted every day, just not much at work. Later at night when Luke was in bed, he’d start to text her or she’d call him. It felt like they were in high school again just waiting for a time where they’d have a house to themselves and could fool around.
Sure, there was a part of her that was thrilled to feel so giddy over it all, but the other part of her wanted another kiss. Wanted more than a kiss. More than even companionship too. She wanted a relationship that she hadn’t had in what seemed like forever.
He’d shown her a side of him that she’d never expected to see and she was dying to see it again and wondering when she’d be treated to it.
She walked down to his office. “Carol Reed is ready for you when you’ve got a minute. Her ultrasound results were uploaded.”
“Did you notice anything abnormal?” he asked.
He always asked her what she saw, what she found, like he wanted her medical perspective. It made her feel more valuable than she’d ever felt here before, wondering if she was jeopardizing that part of her life by wanting something more with him.
“No, it all looked good to me for the most part, but I’m sure you’ll want to see it before you examine her yourself.”
“I’ll pull it up now. Come on over while I look at them quickly,” he said.
He was smiling at her, so she did move those few steps and had to remind her body to cool its jets. They were at work.
“Just a normal check-up for her. It’s her six-month follow-up. The cyst looks to be smaller than last time.”
She watched as he scrolled over the picture. “It does. So how about dinner on Saturday night?” he asked.
“I’d like that,” she said, leaning over and pointing at the cyst. “See that the shape changed, even though it’s smaller.”
“At the core it looks the same, but I’ll make sure I look more closely. Fancy or casual dinner?”
She liked how this was turning into sort of a secret conversation between them. “Whatever you’ve got time for, I can do.”
“I’d like to see you dressed up. Or is that sexist of me to say that?” He was still clicking around on the screen while he looked at the monitor rather than her.
“Not sexist at all. It doesn’t seem fair that I see you all dressed up every day and you see me in scrubs.”
“No, that’s not fair,” he agreed.
He pushed back from the desk. “If you’re ready, I’ll walk down with you to see Carol.”
“Sounds good. The rest of this conversation can be finished later.”
“You can count on it.”
Looked like the Valium wore off the sloth along with a bite in the butt by a scorpion. He was moving a little bit faster now...if a sloth moving faster could even be determined.
The Guilt
“That was the best time ever, Daddy,” Luke said.
Owen smiled and looked down at his son bouncing on his toes, moving in front and behind him as they walked out of the haunted house. If jumping beans had feet, that would be Luke right now.
He wanted to spend some extra fun time with Luke today since Luke was having another sleepover at his grandparents’. It’d help with the guilt that he was going out with Jill tonight.
“You weren’t scared?” Owen asked.
“No way. That was awesome.” Luke’s carefree giggle made him laugh.
“I was even scared a few times,” Owen said winking.
“Daddies aren’t supposed to be scared of anything. You’re too big to be scared.”
Owen only nodded. Kids—to just think everything was so simple in life. He wanted to correct Luke, let him know that real life wasn’t like that, but the truth was, Luke needed to be a kid as long as he could. Not many lost their mother so young and he was determined to let Luke enjoy as much of his childhood as he could.
“Someday you will be just as big as me.”
“I hope so,” Luke said. “Can we get burgers for lunch today? Meat helps you grow.”
Owen looked at his watch and held back his laugh. He still had four hours before he was dropping Luke off with his parents, then going home to get ready for his date.
“Sure. We can do burgers. Anything to make sure you get as tall as me, right?”
They made their way to his SUV, climbed in and Owen pulled out and made his way toward Route 50 where he let Luke have his pick of restaurants for his burger.
Once they were inside and seated with their food ordered, Luke looked at him, his big brown eyes searching. It was a look that Owen was checking for often, his radar tuning him into the fact something might be wrong.
“Do you think my Halloween costume is stupid for school?”
“Of course not. Why do you ask?”
“Because Bobby said dressing like doctors for Halloween is lame and that everyone should be a superhero or a celebrity or an athlete. I don’t want to be what everyone else is being.”
Owen smiled, knowing that Luke got that from him and not his mother. Ashley always had to be part of the crowd. She always had to be doing what everyone else was. Luke had never been much of a follower and Owen hoped he continued to be that way.
“There is nothing wrong with wanting to be your own person, Luke. Just remember that.”
“But what if it’s different than everyone else?”
“There is nothing wrong with being different, either. Embrace who you are and what you like in life. If you’re happy, then that is all that matters.”
“But I want to have friends too,” Luke said.
Owen frowned. “Don’t you have friends at school? I thought you did.”
What was he missing? He talked to Luke every night about school and hadn’t once gotten the impression there were problems. Maybe he needed to talk to the teachers before those parent-teacher conferences that he signed up for in a few weeks.
“I have friends. But some of the other kids don’t.”
“What does that mean?”
“Some of the girls are mean to other girls. Leah gets picked on because she wears glasses and Mandi gets picked on because she doesn’t dress the same as the other girls.”
“There are a lot of people in this world who need and wear glasses, Luke. You just wait, in the next few years, you’ll see how many need them. I hope you aren’t picking on anyone because they’re different.”
“No. I wouldn’t do that.” Luke dipped his head. “Mom would do that though. She’d make fun of someone if they were different or dirty in a store.”
Owen sighed. They didn’t talk about Ashley much, and he always took Luke’s lead. Since Luke brought it up he’d have to address it, but it’d have to be done delicately.
“Sometimes in life, adults don’t always do the right thing. Look at it this way, if some of the things your mother said about people in the store were said about you, how would you feel?”
“I’d be hurt if it was all I had. Grandma Mary always said if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
“Grandma Mary was right. And I’m glad you remembered that and I’m glad she taught you that.”
The fact that Ashley’s parents had such a big influence on Luke’s life was one of the reasons that Owen was willing to make visitations work, even so many states away. Too bad none of those things rubbed off on Ashley.
“I miss Grandma Mary and Grandpa Steve.”
Luke hadn’t said that often so Owen’s radar was rising. “Would you like to call them?”
“Can I? Can I call them now? I want to tell them about the haunted house.”
A busy restaurant at lunchtime wasn’t the best place, but the smile on Luke’s face made him cave. “We can see if they’re home right now.”
Owen pulled his phone out and dialed Ashley’s mother. “Hi, Mary. It’s Owen. Luke wanted to call and say hi.”
“I’d love to speak with my boy. I was just telling Steve that Halloween was Tuesday and I wondered what Luke was going to be.”
“I’ll let him tell you all about that and what we did today.”
Owen handed the phone over, then sat there and listened to his son’s excitement and knew that for as many fears as he had in life right now, lack of his son’s happiness wasn’t one of them.
Several hours later, Owen dropped Luke off at his parents’, with Luke dashing ahead of him into his room at the house. Owen’s old room that his parents redid for Luke so that he’d have a nice space he’d feel comfortable in.
“Are you going to be out late tonight?” his mother asked him.
He wasn’t sure how much he wanted to say right now. If he told his mother he was going on a date, she might get pretty nosy when now wasn’t the time. Not with Luke around and not when Owen still wasn’t sure how things were going to work out.
He was extremely conflicted for someone that always knew his path in life.
“I’m not sure yet. If you have any problems with Luke, you know you can call me.”
His mother laughed. “There won’t be any problems and you know that. Have a good time tonight and don’t worry about anything.”
He leaned in and kissed her cheek, glad she didn’t question him, and then left to go home to shower and change. If his mother saw him in a suit, she’d figure out easily enough what he had planned.
It was just about twenty minutes to Jill’s place. He parked in the lot and made his way to her apartment door. She was on the first floor of the complex. It looked to be a fairly new area.
He only had to knock once before she opened the door. If he stopped breathing for a second, he wasn’t admitting, but there was a moment where he was wondering if he’d be able to catch a breath if he needed to. Thankfully she knew CPR.