by Natalie Ann
He had no clue she could take his breath away like that. Sure, he was attracted to her in scrubs and even in the jeans she’d worn on their other date. But in a little black dress and pumps, yeah, it was going to be a long night indeed.
One where he hoped to hell he could control his body enough to not reach in and grab her forward by the back of her neck and crush his mouth to hers.
If the smirk she was sending him was any indication, she knew exactly what he was thinking. “I meet with your approval, I see.”
He lifted his hand up and spun his finger in the air. “I need to see it all just to make sure.”
She turned in a little circle with her arms out and when he saw the back of the dress exposed a lot of her bare skin, it made him wonder if she had a bra on. He was positive he was in for a long night now.
***
Jill was trying not to laugh at the expression on Owen’s face.
She was pulling out all the stops tonight. She hadn’t been on a date like this...ever. Darren never took her out to a fancy restaurant when they were dating. Then again, it wasn’t like they had any money when they were younger.
Even when they were married, money was tight and a night out just didn’t happen often. She was too busy working full time while Darren finished up school, just working part-time when it suited him.
She understood his future career came first back then, but she wished she’d looked at the bigger picture before they jumped into marriage.
But here she was going on a nice fancy date with a doctor who asked her, and she wasn’t about to say no. She was going to dress up in the black dress she’d never worn before, but bought on sale in a weak moment a year ago, along with her sexiest heels.
She was going to give Owen Taylor something to look at.
“You look pretty good yourself. I’ve never seen you in that suit before.”
“You’d know if I’d worn this suit before?”
“I’ve seen a few different jackets on you, but you don’t wear a full suit often,” she said.
He normally just had a shirt and tie on, or scrubs if he had biopsies scheduled. Once or twice he’d have a suit jacket on, but not like the black suit he was sporting in her little apartment. They made one fancy couple at the moment.
“If you’re ready, we can make our way to the restaurant,” he said.
“Let me get my jacket and we can go.”
He held his hand out for her to proceed, then opened his car door and helped her in. She’d been thinking gentlemanly traits were lacking in the dating world today and was genuinely surprised and touched at the same time that he seemed to be making the effort.
“Stay,” he said when he parked the car at the restaurant. She did because she knew he was going to go around and open the door for her again, making her feel a little bit like Cinderella. For someone that wanted to move slow in a relationship, he seemed to be shifting into a higher gear.
He reached for her hand after he’d opened the door for her, then helped her down and threaded their fingers together. They walked into the restaurant, and into what she knew would be the best date she’d ever had in her life.
Suck It Up
They were seated at a table in the corner, candles lit and soft music playing in the background. The place was a bit stuffy for his taste, but he figured she’d appreciate it and so far he could tell she was.
He could blend into any environment and had no problem adapting. If he had to rub elbows with donors for a night in a tux, he could do it. If he had to throw back a few beers in a bar with buddies to get to know some of his fellow doctors—he could do that too.
If his preference was to just do his job and be the best, well, he kept that to himself knowing that in life you had to suck it up for the bigger picture.
But there was no sucking up right now. He was where he wanted to be, looking at a woman he was dying to spend time with and fighting the urge to not rush when he told himself he shouldn’t. That he needed to make sure everything was lined up just right for Luke, and even for him.
Luke came first.
His career came second.
Then he’d be able to find room for a relationship.
That was what he’d been telling himself for years. Except, in the past month he was starting to have conflicting feelings about it. Why couldn’t he have his own life? Why couldn’t he be happy too?
There was no reason to avoid drama as he’d been doing for years. There’d be no reason to focus too much on his career either, since there wasn’t that far for him to go at his current company, and it seemed he was on the fast track there anyway.
He wanted Luke to know what the real world was like at times and maybe that meant that Luke needed to know his father deserved to have a little bit of a personal life too...that he deserved to be happy. Being a good father probably meant taking time for himself and he was going to start.
“Did you do anything exciting today with Luke?” she asked him. That she asked that just reinforced he was making the right decision regarding her. That he was ready to bring her into his life more. That she understood it wasn’t just about him alone.
“I took him to a haunted house earlier, then out to lunch.”
“That sounds like fun. Was he scared?” she asked, picking up her wine that had been placed down moments ago after they’d given their orders.
“Not in the least. I even jumped a few times, which only made him laugh at me.”
“Kids are just more open to things in life than adults. I think sometimes we’ve seen and experienced so much that it makes us more cautious or even cynical. That’s probably why there are so many sayings about being a kid again.”
“I think you may be right. The thing is, I want him to be a kid for as long as he can. Everything I’ve read, and all the counselors I’ve brought him to have said the first year after losing a parent is the hardest. All those first holidays could be a turning point in his life for the future, so I’m trying so hard to make them good for him. Make them fun so he won’t be sad.”
“He’s going to be sad, Owen. You know that,” she said softly.
He did know that. Everyone had told him that too.
“I want him to have happiness mixed in with it though. I asked him what he wanted to do for Halloween. I know it’s not a huge holiday, but for a kid it’s one of the more fun ones. He picked his own costume out and he wanted to go to the haunted house today. So that is what we did. And on Tuesday I’m going to get out of work early and take him trick or treating around the neighborhood with my sister and niece.”
She smiled, her eyes all dewy-like and he was having visions of all those single mothers eying him on the first day of kindergarten like he was the cheesecake brought out with coffee for social hour.
Only this time he had no intention of running but instead planting his feet firmly in place.
“What is he going to be?”
“A doctor,” he said, smiling.
“So he wants to be like his father. I think that’s a pretty awesome thing. I bet you’re really honored over it.”
He was and was glad she recognized that. “He’s a good kid. Then he wanted to call Ashley’s parents today and tell them all about the haunted house. He said he missed them. We were having some life talks and he brought his mother up.”
She reached her hand over and laid it on his. “Is it hard to talk about her with him?”
“Not like you think. I told you that Ashley and I hadn’t been a couple since after Luke was born. If you want to know the truth, she got pregnant on purpose. She’d told me as much. She’d hoped I’d marry her, but I didn’t. I love Luke, but I don’t need to be married to someone I don’t love to be a good father.”
“That’s very true. So it wasn’t a good breakup?” she asked.
“Curious or trying to feel me out?”
“A little bit of both.”
He appreciated her honesty and decided to return it.
“The breakup wasn
’t good. She didn’t want to let go even though she gave me the ultimatum. I think she thought I would figure she was bluffing. What she forgot was she got pregnant in the first place because I wanted space.”
“That’s an old trick,” Jill said. “I can’t believe she thought it’d work.”
“Then she tried to leverage Luke against me, which made matters worse. I couldn’t get him as much as I wanted because of the hours I worked, but she left him with her parents more often than not when she was out partying. She dated a lot more than I did, but anytime she found out I was dating, she made a point to come back into my life and be...disruptive. She was always using—more like manipulating—Luke to do things as a family, a way to paint a picture in Luke’s head. It got tiresome. I feel guilty even saying those things.”
Just what he needed, even more guilt on his shoulders right now.
“Don’t feel guilty,” she said. “You love and care for your son and that’s all that matters. No one says you had to love his mother to be a good father, just like you said. You just had to tolerate her.”
He snorted. “I did. I never let Luke know how I felt about Ashley. She didn’t always adhere to that rule though, and she never realized that Luke told me things, but I brushed it off and knew I had to be the bigger person.”
“I’m not surprised to hear you say that.”
“What about you? You said you’re divorced. I mean if we’re going to air dirty laundry out, you need to show me your delicates too.”
She laughed. “Not much to say. We were high school sweethearts. We were even voted class couple. There was a lot of pressure that we get married and we just went along with it.”
He thought that was odd. He didn’t feel the pressure to marry with a child coming and yet she did because people thought they made a cute couple.
“How long were you married?”
“We got married when I graduated from college and got a job. He was attending college at SUNY Albany. We had an apartment while I worked and he finished school. Then he went to law school there while I continued to work. We divorced two years after he graduated and started working.”
He paused, trying to gather his thoughts. He didn’t want to make assumptions but was having a hard time with it.
“So you supported him in school and then when he was ready to start his life he decided he wanted to do it without you?”
“That’s kind of harsh,” she said, but she wasn’t denying it.
“Am I wrong?”
She picked up her wine. “Not completely. Those years I was working and he was in school, we didn’t see much of each other. Not like a real married couple. By the time he was working, he was so focused on that and I just felt left behind. We talked and realized that maybe we’d rushed into things.”
“So no hard feelings?” he asked. She did say they were still close.
“Not really. It was hard at first, but I understood. Like I said, we’re still very close. I was out with him last night.”
“What?” he asked, not liking that.
“Don’t get jealous,” she said, laughing.
He snorted. “I’m not,” he lied.
“I told you he has a girlfriend. The two of them and a few of our mutual friends from school met up last night for a drink. We have a lot of the same friends from school. No one had to choose sides this way.”
“I can’t believe you’re fine with that. That it doesn’t bother you to see him with another woman.”
Of course, he never had a problem seeing Ashley with another man, only that she brought those losers around Luke.
“I haven’t been married to him for four years, Owen. He’s dated a lot.”
“Have you?”
“No,” she said. “I think we’ve aired enough of my dirty laundry. Why don’t we talk about something more entertaining?”
He’d change the subject because he had to or he’d get angry. He didn’t care what she said, there was more going on here. She got used and she didn’t want to admit it. If things were all that great, she’d have no problem dating after.
“So what do you think about the weather?” he asked.
***
Jill laughed, because if she didn’t, she was afraid she might cry.
She didn’t talk about her failed marriage with anyone. Not even her family. She didn’t want to talk about it tonight, but since Owen had been so open about his past relationship and what she was guessing was a psycho ex-girlfriend—though he didn’t go into too many details—the least she could do was talk about her situation.
No, she hadn’t dated because she was sick of being set up with people that didn’t want the same thing she did in life.
She was sick of looking for everything in each potential guy, trying to find signs of what she’d missed with Darren.
And she was sick of putting on a happy face for everyone when she was ticked off that Darren decided things weren’t what he really wanted after he got the career he’d worked so hard for.
She hadn’t wanted to get married so young. That was all Darren. He didn’t have a lot growing up and knew he’d have a ton of loans for college. Sure he had some still, but all those years they were married, she paid for all their living expenses.
Her parents paid for her education, but they said they wouldn’t if she was married. So they waited because they were in love and wanted to get married, but two years didn’t seem like that much of a wait. Instead of marrying at eighteen, she married at twenty.
But when Darren got his first job at a prestigious law firm, and he started to make money, the deal was she’d get to go back to school so that she could be a doctor. That was what she wanted. Radiology. It’d been her dream. She had a love for it. Being a tech was just short term.
Too bad her short term ended up being her career because it wasn’t Darren’s long-term once he got his way.
The only people who ever knew what she wanted to do were Darren and her parents. And though her parents loved her to death, she’d made her decision to get married—that they didn’t agree with for their age and positions in life—and by the time she and Darren divorced, they weren’t in a situation to help her go back to school.
She could have moved home and lived with them while she tried to go back for her bachelor’s, then onto med school, but at twenty-six, living at home didn’t appeal to her. Her pride wouldn’t allow it.
She loved her job and she made decent money. Enough to survive on her own for the most part. It just wasn’t what she’d always dreamed of.
And here was this guy sitting across from her listening to her and talking, not judging like so many others had, and he seemed interested in her.
Not a one-night stand.
Not a hookup.
Not friends with benefits.
But a relationship...just on the slow train.
Tonight, though, she was going to put them on the bullet train...even if it was only for the night. She needed to feel like a woman and she needed Owen to be the one to show her.
If it ended up being a mistake on her part, well, it wouldn’t be the first mistake she’d made in her life and it probably wouldn’t be the last.
Bumbling
“Thank you for dinner,” Jill said after he’d paid the bill.
“You’re welcome.”
“Do you need to go home tonight?” she asked, her eyes sparkling.
“I don’t. Luke is at my parents’ for the night.”
“We can go back to my place and relax if you want,” she said, her grin a mile wide.
He knew there was an invitation there but had no plans on RSVPing until he knew he wasn’t going to be the unwanted guest that she wanted to push out the door the minute they were done. “We can do that if you want to.”
“It’s the least I can do for this great dinner you took me to.”
His smile fell. “I don’t want a payment for that.”
Her jaw dropped. “I wasn’t doing it for that. Did you think I was?”
He wasn’t sure which one of them was more insulted right now and he started to laugh. “I’d say we both just put our feet in our mouths.”
She took a deep breath. “Let’s start over. If you don’t have to rush home, why don’t we go back to my place and relax? As much as I love what I’m wearing, I’d like to kick these heels off.”
“I can do that,” he said, standing up and walking over to pull her chair out. “I really don’t want you to feel any pressure for anything at all.”
Even if he was dying to go back to her place. The “no I haven’t dated much” was flashing like the no crossing lights at the train tracks.
“I want you to. I can’t believe we are bumbling this much right now. I’ve got an excuse, but what about you?”
He had no choice but to laugh. He couldn’t remember ever stumbling this much on a date or with a woman in general. “Maybe we can fix it.”
“I hope so. I still want to remember this as my best date ever.”
There was a sincere look in her eyes and a smile on her face so he leaned down and gave her a gentle kiss in the restaurant, then led her out to his SUV.
When they got back to her apartment, she turned and wrapped her arms around his neck the minute he’d shut the door.
“I really want you to take me to bed, but it has nothing to do with the dinner you took me to tonight and everything to do with that last kiss you gave me weeks ago. Do you have any idea how hard it’s been to see you every day and wonder when I could have your mouth on me again?”
“Not nearly as hard as it’s been for me.”
“Kiss me again like that. Show me how hard it’s been.”
She was going to be a little vixen in the bedroom, he could tell right now. So he lowered his head and gave her what she’d asked for. He decided to do what he wanted to do hours ago when he walked in her front door. He brought his hand to the back of her neck and then crushed his mouth on hers like a dehydrated man and a well was overflowing with water just beckoning him forward.