Holiday Love (Love Collection)

by Natalie Ann

  He didn’t.

  Which was why he’d told his mother he was seeing someone when Luke was in the other room. His mother had a million questions that he’d dodged like a swarm of bees from a hive he’d knocked into with a stick. But he knew she wasn’t going to let him dodge them too much longer. No, she had her stinger out and was aiming right at him.

  For the moment, she seemed satisfied when he used Jill’s words of “it’s complicated.”

  A week later, the announcement still hadn’t come through, but Owen was getting antsy and his mother was getting nosy. Those damn stingers of hers were making a reappearance as if he was covered in sugar minus an epi-pen.

  So he and Jill went and had lunch together and he asked, “Do you have plans tomorrow?”

  “No. I might get some Christmas decorations up. I’m late this year. I normally do it right after Thanksgiving, but I just haven’t been in the mood this year. Why, does Luke have plans?”

  “I was actually thinking of having you over to my parents’ for dinner.” Her jaw dropped and he laughed. “Unless you don’t want to meet them?”

  “I do. I mean, I thought we were keeping it quiet.”

  “I still want to keep it quiet at work and my family won’t say anything if I ask them not to. I told my mother last week. I confessed that I really wasn’t shopping, that I was seeing someone and wanted to spend the day with you. She said she knew all along and was wondering when I was going to come forward.” Nothing got by his mother.

  “So you want me to meet Luke then?” she asked.

  “I do. I thought about it and figured that it’s time. If I count our first lunch together, we’ve been seeing each other for almost two months.”

  “So long,” she said, grinning.

  “I’m sure it seems long to you to keep it quiet.”

  “It has. I hope you don’t feel like you need to do it for me,” she said.

  “That’s part of it. Hear me out,” he said when she opened her mouth. “I don’t want you to think it’s not serious when it is. Even though I don’t want it known at work, I’d hope the fact that I’m introducing you to my son proves that this isn’t casual to me. It’s not something I’m taking lightly.”

  He wasn’t sure what to think when her eyes started to fill again, thankfully her words were clearer. “Thank you. I don’t want to think negatively of our relationship, but it’s hard at times. I wondered if you were embarrassed of me.”

  “Get that thought right out of your head.”

  Every time he heard her bring herself down he wanted to strangle her ex. Upon first glance at her, she seemed to have it all together, but he was learning that she was a master at hiding what was really going on.

  “I know it’s not the case, but...”

  “I get it. I’m sorry that I made you feel that way.”

  He was trying as hard as he could to let her know he really did care for her. Did he love her? He wasn’t sure. But he knew she had a place in his heart and he wanted to continue to explore that. He wanted to continue to feel something he never had before. He wanted to continue to have something besides fatherhood to be happy about in life.

  If someone had asked him if he loved Ashley, he could have honestly said no. They didn’t have a healthy relationship and Ashley had known he was backing away. She’d pulled out all the stops to prevent that. He just wished he’d known that back then.

  But then he’d never have Luke and he wouldn’t change a thing if it meant not having his son in his life.

  Jill reached her hand over and laid it on his, patted it briefly and pulled it away. They never showed any affection in public on their lunches since there was too great of a risk of someone seeing them.

  “You’re a good person, Owen. I’m glad I never knew your ex, but I know I wouldn’t have believed a word she’d said about you.”

  He laughed. “Most didn’t, but it was still frustrating.”

  “Sounds like we both have messed up exes.”

  “Maybe we needed to go through them to appreciate what we’ve got now.”

  ***

  Jill had no idea Owen wanted to introduce her to his son and parents. She was both thrilled and terrified at the same time.

  In her mind, it meant more that she was going to meet the most important people in his life than her co-workers knowing, even if that was a hard pill to swallow that none of her friends would know. Of course, her friends were all blabbermouths.

  There were times she wanted to be able to walk into his office and just make a comment about talking later, or grabbing lunch, asking about Luke. Personal things that people who date do.

  Did she want to grab him and kiss him more often than not? Yeah, she did, but she wouldn’t even if everyone did know at work. That would be putting a label on her that she’d never wanted.

  But it was so hard to not slip at times.

  Maybe it wouldn’t be that much longer before they could start to let people know at work.

  For now though, they picked up their lunch and got in their cars and drove back. They didn’t even ride together when they went to lunch and never went back at the same time. It was just those little things that made her feel bad.

  That made her feel less like a woman he was dating and more like a fling on the side.

  Like they were sneaking around or having an affair.

  She decided to run to the store quickly and grab a few items she was running low on before going to the office. It’d be just her luck that she’d run into Darren there when he worked in Albany, not Latham. There was no avoiding him either, not when he saw her and ran up like a long lost friend.

  “Hey, Darren. What are you doing here?” she asked, but her voice wasn’t as cheerful as always.

  “I had a client meeting and decided to stop in and grab a few things before going back to the office.” He looked down at the items in her basket. “Guess we were both short on coffee. You normally made me go pick it up,” he said, laughing.

  There was a time she’d laugh at that little joke, but now it only annoyed her. All those things she thought were cute back then...just weren’t. “Yeah, well, you had more time on your hands. Guess we both need to take care of ourselves now.”

  He frowned at her. “Where did that come from?”

  “Nothing. Forget I said it.” No use taking her moodiness out on him.

  He reached for her arm. “No. I’m not going to forget you said it. What’s wrong?”

  “Are you happy in your life, Darren?” she asked before she could stop the words.

  “What kind of question is that? Of course I am. I’ve got a career I love and always dreamed of. I’ve got a new girl that I get along with. Maybe something will happen long term there, but it’s too early to tell. I’m hoping though.”

  She tilted her head waiting to see if he’d ask if she was happy in life and realized he wasn’t going to. That he just wanted someone to brag to. That deep down he’d never really cared about other people as much as he did himself.

  That he was always after his own gratification.

  She wished she’d seen it before rather than having Owen point it out to her.

  “Aren’t you going to ask me the same question?” she finally asked him.

  “I know you’re happy. You’re always happy. If you aren’t, then it’s your fault. You’re the one that wanted the divorce. You’re the one that wasn’t happy with the way our relationship was going.”

  She opened her mouth and closed it, shocked he’d said that. “What? I didn’t ask for a divorce.”

  “Yes, you did,” he argued. “You said you weren’t happy and wanted out. I wanted you to be happy.”

  She snorted. “I wasn’t happy because you were never there for me. You put yourself first, second, and third. I was so far down on the list that you didn’t even know you were losing me. And when I pointed it out, you told me I was crazy.”

  “Where is this all coming from?” he said. “You’ve never said a word about i
t before.”

  “Because when I told you I wasn’t happy you didn’t try to fight for me. You didn’t even try to make our marriage work. You said it was practical for us to get out of debt before I could go back to school, and that I’d need to wait.”

  “What was so wrong with that?” he asked.

  “Because you got what you wanted and I got nothing. Let go of my arm,” she said, shaking it loose.

  He looked shocked over her raised voice and aggression. Maybe she was at fault for always putting on a good front, but if he loved her enough, he would have seen it.

  “Are you jealous over Angie? You met her and liked her. I got the feeling that you weren’t thrilled when I was talking about her at your parents’ house though.”

  “You’re so clueless. That’s my parents’ house. I feel like a failure because of how our marriage ended, but now I realize it was you that failed. I did everything for you and I let you get your way. When it was my turn, you made me wait. When I finally voiced my concerns and displeasure over things, you made your choice and it wasn’t me.”

  “I repeat, you said you weren’t happy and wanted a divorce.”

  “You’re never going to understand. I wanted a divorce because I was sick of never being put first. The thing is, if I’m guilty of anything now, it’s that I’m still letting myself be put in any position other than first place. I think it’s time we just both go on our own way now.”

  “What does that mean?” he asked, looking hurt.

  Part of her wanted to relent, but remembered Owen’s words and said, “In order for me to move forward in my life, I’ve got to be the selfish one for once. Our relationship is toxic to me. It’s holding me back and reminding me of all the decisions I regret.”

  “You regret marrying me?” he asked. There were almost tears in his eyes, but she was going to stand strong. She’d shed plenty of tears over him and this was the first she’d seen a drop of moisture out of him.

  “I loved you, Darren. We had a young love and we moved too fast into marriage. You pushed it and I loved you enough to do it. I shouldn’t have. If we both went to college and got our degrees, things might have been different, but we didn’t. I sacrificed everything for you, knowing my time would come. When it was my turn, you weren’t ready to sacrifice for me.”

  “I’m sorry, Jill. I never knew you felt that way.”

  She wiped at her own eyes. “You knew. I told you enough. I brought it up before. You didn’t care and you know it. You got what you wanted. I need to get what I want. Have a good life, Darren. I wish you the best, but please don’t contact me or my family anymore.”

  She turned and walked toward the register, cashed out and then went to her car and wiped the rest of her tears away.

  Today was the start and the end of two relationships in her life and she hoped to hell she made the right decision with them both.

  Did It Right

  The next day, Jill drove to Owen’s house terrified of how things were going to turn out.

  Though she didn’t regret telling Darren what she had, she hadn’t expected him to try to call her all night and beg her to stay in his life. That he needed her and didn’t know what he’d do without her.

  Because her friendship meant too much.

  If he really cared about her, then he’d see what their friendship was doing to her, but he didn’t and she had to stay strong.

  She pulled into the driveway of Owen’s house. It was a nice development that he lived in, an older established one and there were tons of holiday decorations on many of the homes. It was a place she’d love to live one day. She was thinking it suited him more than something flashy and new. There was really nothing about Owen that screamed that to her.

  He opened his front door before she could even knock. “Were you waiting for me?” she asked.

  “I’ve been looking out the window. Come on in.”

  She stepped in and went to slide her shoes off when she saw his socks, but he stopped her. “It’s fine. I don’t wear them when I walk around the house, but we won’t be here long.”

  “Is Luke here?” she asked, realizing that the house was too quiet to have a child in it.

  “He’s at my parents already. He knows you’re coming and I can’t get a read on him about it, so I thought it might be good if my mother talked to him first.”

  “Is he upset?” She’d been thinking about this all night. Just what she needed to be stressed about on top of her fight with Darren.

  “I don’t think so. He’s seen me with women I’ve dated before. You won’t be the first woman he’s been introduced to, but you’re the first since Ashley’s death.”

  She’d kind of figured the last part since he hadn’t lived here that long and commented on being alone for a while. “Why did you want me to come here first then?”

  He pulled her into his arms and just held her tight, then tipped her chin up and kissed her softly. She’d been missing this from a man. Tenderness that she didn’t get often.

  “I wanted to do this and figured it probably wasn’t best in front of Luke. I also wanted to show you around my house.”

  She sighed in his arms, glad that he’d planned it this way. She needed a hug more than she realized. “I’d like to see your house.”

  He walked her through the first floor and though it was nicer than anything she’d ever lived in or could afford, it wasn’t anything that made her jaw drop. She was learning that Owen didn’t like to stand out, much like herself.

  He did have a tree up though and some decorations by the fireplace. Many looked handmade and it made her heart soften that he was putting things up that Luke had made for him.

  “You need to make it more festive for Luke,” she said, grinning at him.

  “Next year for sure. This is about all I could handle this year.” On the second floor, he showed her Luke’s room and a spare, then into his. “I haven’t done much other than paint. I don’t have the time or energy to do much once I get home from work and deal with Luke and schoolwork. I figured I’d live in it for a bit before I made any decisions on the future.”

  “It’s a good size,” she said, her eyes landing on his king-sized bed.

  “If we had more time I’d show you how comfortable that bed really is.”

  “Much more comfortable than my bed or couch, I’m betting. How much time do we have?”

  He laughed. “Not as much as I’d like. Another time.”

  “Darn. I could use something to relax me right now.”

  “There’s no reason to be nervous, but maybe this will help.” He pulled her back into his arms and showed her that a kiss could be just as good of a relaxation technique if done right. Owen did it right.

  “It’s nice enough out so we can walk down, if you don’t mind. It’s only about two blocks.”

  “That’s good,” she said. “I don’t mind early December weather as long as it’s not snowing.”

  “Luke is hoping for snow before Christmas, but I told him not to hope too much. It’s like we’re having an Indian summer right now. High forties, low fifties this time of year is nice, but I’m not banking on too much more of it.”

  They walked out of his front door and down the street, past more houses that were similar to his. Some were bigger, some were smaller, all had about the same amount of yard, which was more than she’d seen in other developments.

  His parents’ house was about the same size as his, but when she walked in the front door she noticed it wasn’t as up to date and was cut up differently. This was a house that screamed holiday spirit and she wondered if it was done for Luke or it was a yearly tradition. Since some of the decorations looked centuries old, she guessed they loved to celebrate like she did.

  Luke came running forward and then halted when he saw his father with someone. “Hi,” he said, quietly.

  She walked forward and held her hand out to his. He took it like a gentleman. “I’m Jill Duncan, and you’re Luke.”

  “Luke T
aylor,” he said primly and she giggled, causing him to laugh. As for icebreakers, it worked about as well as she could expect.

  Owen’s parents were nice. His mother open and friendly and very engaging with Luke. She could tell he needed that in his life. Owen’s father was a little bit more like Owen. He was nice but quiet. Reserved was probably the best description.

  “You’re the first woman we’ve met that Owen has dated in close to six years.”

  The unspoken “since Ashley” was in the room. She looked at Owen. “Are you so slippery that no one can hang on, or just so private you pretend someone doesn’t exist?” she asked, winking at him. It was said as a joke, but deep down she wanted to know.

  “I haven’t found anyone worth trying to hold onto.” Good answer.

  Owen’s mother looked at his father and smiled. “Owen has never been as slippery as some might have accused him of. I personally think he is one heck of a catch.”

  “Thanks, Mom, but I’m sure Jill doesn’t need to have a list of all my good traits.”

  “Maybe I do,” she said, “because we know Owen is private. It’s like pulling teeth at times.”

  “He’s always been that way,” Owen’s father said.

  Jill was ready to breathe a sigh of relief when the dinner was over. It wasn’t the worst meeting of the parents she’d ever been to, but it was the most nerve-inducing.

  The three of them walked home with Luke running down the road faster to get there first. “Do you think he likes me?” she asked.

  “I’m sure he does. He’s a pretty laid back kid at the root of it.”

  “Would he tell you if he didn’t like me?” she asked.

  “I believe he would.”

  She didn’t want to ask what would happen if Luke did say that because that would be making Owen choose and she knew darn well where she’d fall in the equation.

  ***

  Owen had been sweating the last few hours.

  Had he wanted to toss Jill on his bed when she walked in his room and relax them both? Hell yeah. But he didn’t because he found when he was with her he lost track of time and all his thoughts, and he had to stay focused.