Smith's Monthly #21

by Smith, Dean Wesley

“I’d...” His voice broke and he cleared his throat and tried to lower the pitch to a more normal range. “I’d like to buy a...”

  He glanced quickly around. Judy was watching him and smiling. He’d had a crush on her for years. It was no wonder his younger self had chickened out.

  “Well, young man?”

  Fred turned back to face Abrahams. He could feel his face getting hot. If he didn’t ask now, Alice would get pregnant and they would end up married. That had turned out to be a fate much worse than asking one simple question. Much, much worse. All those years of shouting and the hate and the ugliness their marriage had been. The only slightly good thing had been Sandy. But who knew how screwed up she was going to be because of the ugly marriage he and Alice had had.

  He looked up at Abrahams. “I’d...I’d like to buy a condom.”

  There.

  He had done it.

  Old man Abrahams had the good sense not to laugh. But Fred could tell he was holding back a smile. “Well, son, they come in packages of three or six or twelve.”

  “Six,” he said quickly. No point in having to go through this too often. And next time he would just go to one of the major grocery chains. But a dozen would seem like bragging.

  Abrahams nodded and rummaged behind the counter. “Now, which brand would you like?”

  At that Judy giggled and Fred could feel his face and neck burning. His younger self wanted to flee the store. He’d never be able to face her.

  But his older memories kept him there. “I... I... I don’t care. Your best.”

  Again Abrahams nodded. “That would be Trojans.” He slid the box across the counter. “Pay Judy.”

  Damn him. He was doing this on purpose. He had a register. He could take the money. Again Judy giggled as Fred picked up the box and turned. At that very moment he noticed that the song was almost over and he knew without a doubt that his face was as red as Rudolf’s nose.

  He pulled a twenty-dollar bill out of his pocket and tossed it on the counter. “Keep the change,” he said to Judy and, without looking at her, he sprinted for the front door and the snow beyond.

  At least now he had the choice to have Sandy or not. He’d have to give this some serious thought.

  As the door slammed shut and the song ended, the memories of the choice, Sandy, the marriage to Alice, and the next twenty years faded and were gone.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  About twenty-three years later…

  June 10th, 2020

  Central Wilderness Area, Idaho

  RYAN COULD NOT believe how well he had slept in that featherbed. He had left the window slightly open and the cold mountain air, the soft bed, and two thick quilts had just let him sleep until his phone alarm woke him at seven.

  Last night he and the incredibly attractive and very smart Talia had talked in whispers on the big deck overlooking the valley below until they were both shivering from the cold. No one had bothered them at all, and when after an hour they both decided to get some sleep, they didn’t even see anyone at the front desk.

  It seemed the Monumental Lodge just rolled up everything when the sun went down.

  Ryan figured that with no one around, the big log room should have felt kind of creepy, being all alone like they were in a old log and stone lodge in the Idaho mountains. But it actually felt to Ryan more like home. He had fallen for this place instantly.

  A fire crackled softly in the large stone fireplace in the living area and a slight wind stirred the trees as they climbed the stairs together, the wooden planks creaking slightly.

  She had a room at the top of the stairs to the right and his was to the left. There were only four rooms total in the long carpeted hallway at the top of the stairs and Bonnie and Duster had one of the others.

  The moment of goodnight felt awkward, since Talia was as attracted to him as he was to her, which he was more than grateful for. Usually he had no idea when a woman was attracted to him. He could never understand why a woman would ever be attracted to a geek who spent all his time crunching numbers and working theories.

  And honestly, most of his dates hadn’t turned into relationships and the ones that had gave up on him after a few months. He didn’t blame them at all. He was not a catch by anyone’s standards and he knew it. He was just too focused inwardly in his own thoughts to give a relationship any time.

  They had both managed to get fairly quietly into their rooms and their doors closed. And fifteen minutes later, he was asleep in the featherbed, the cool and crisp and clean mountain air brushing past his face.

  As he came out of his room, freshly showered and wearing jeans, tennis shoes, and a light shirt with a heavier shirt over it, the smell of bacon hit him like a physical presence.

  At that moment he realized just how hungry he was. His mind had been spinning on what Duster had said about the coming project and also about Talia and working with her.

  He was so looking forward to this day, he felt like a kid about to go on vacation.

  There was talking and some laughing coming from the dining room and as he reached the bottom of the stairs a smiling woman about his age behind the desk pointed to the deck. “Dr. Saddler, Bonnie and Duster are having breakfast through those doors.”

  “Thank you,” Ryan said and headed back out toward the deck. The woman behind the desk looked very familiar from somewhere. She had long brown hair and dark eyes and a smile that seemed to light up her face. But Ryan couldn’t place where he knew her and his mind was so focused on the coming day, he honestly didn’t want to give it any thought at the moment.

  Bonnie and Duster were at the same table they had occupied the night before. Both had orange juice and toast, but were clearly waiting for their meals.

  Bonnie had on jeans and a thick jacket. Duster was wearing his normal cowboy hat and long oilskin coat.

  As Ryan opened the door to go outside, the biting cold morning air hit him and almost took his breath away. Then the incredible view spread out just beyond the railing did take his breath.

  Tall, snow-capped peaks seemed to cut into the air with knife-like sharpness, and the valleys were so deep between them, it seemed they were jagged slices into the earth. Shades of greens and browns and the intense blue sky seemed to mix in the crystal clear morning light.

  It seemed almost too much to focus on.

  Ryan shut the door behind him and sat down. Their table was the only occupied one on the massive deck, mostly because Ryan was pretty sure that frost might form on the table at any moment. And he had no doubt that if he picked up the metal silverware, it would just freeze to his fingers.

  “Amazing, isn’t it?” Bonnie asked, indicating the spectacular vistas.

  “Beyond amazing,” Ryan said, then shivered. He wished he had brought his gloves and coat.

  Duster laughed. “You and Talia should eat in the dining room. It’s going to be too cold out here for both of you.”

  Ryan started to object because he really, really wanted to continue the conversation from last night, but Duster held up his hand.

  “We’re used to this and enjoy it,” Duster said.

  “We’ll come in when we are done with breakfast and we can talk then,” Bonnie said, smiling at him.

  He nodded and stood. “Thanks. Berkeley just never seems to get this cold.”

  “You ought to be on this deck in the middle of the winter,” Duster said, smiling.

  All Ryan could do was shiver again and shake his head. The idea of that just scared him more than he wanted to think about.

  At that moment, behind him, the door opened and Talia came out. He glanced back at her and smiled. She looked as wonderful as she had the night before. Her hair was still damp from her shower and she had on jeans, a blouse, and the sweatshirt over the blouse.

  He had no doubt that if she stayed out here, her hair would freeze.

  “Wow,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself and tucking her hands into her armpits. “What a view.”

  Ryan smile
d at Bonnie and Duster and then turned for the door. “I’ll get us a table in the dining room, close to the fire I hope.”

  Talia looked confused as he passed her and Duster just laughed.

  As he went back into the high-ceilinged warmth of the main room of the lodge, he blew on his hands to try to get some feeling back in them. The smell of bacon again hit him and his stomach rumbled.

  “A little too cold for normal folks out there, isn’t it?” the long-haired woman behind the desk asked, smiling at him.

  “They do that regularly?” Ryan asked.

  “For as long as I have known them,” the woman said. “I took the liberty of reserving you and Dr. Marr a table near the fire in the dining room.”

  “Didn’t think we would make it out there, huh?” Ryan asked.

  “No reason to when you can enjoy a comfortable breakfast by the fire.”

  “Got that right,” Ryan said.

  The woman came around the desk and led him into the warm and very comfortable dining room. Three tables had people at them, and a woman with a white apron was serving one table.

  He got seated and sighed, just holding his hands out to the nearby fire in the massive stone fireplace. Now this was the way he wanted to enjoy his breakfasts in the mountains.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  December 24th, 2015

  Boise, Idaho

  WHEN THE LOUNGE finished shimmering, Stout let go of the jukebox and moved around behind the bar. Carefully, he dumped what was left of Fred’s drink and placed his glass beside Carl’s on the back bar.

  Stout hadn’t felt this tired in years. He looked at the two glasses. “Good luck, guys,” he said softly. “I hope life is better for both of you.”

  Now he only had two friends left in the bar. He could stop this at any time, while there was still someone left to talk to.

  “So what are we supposed to do with these quarters?” Jess asked. “I got to get home before that bitch of a wife chews my head off.”

  Stout glanced at Jess and then at David, who was looking worried.

  “You play a song. That’s all.” Stout motioned at the jukebox. “But find one that has a strong memory with it.”

  Stout took a deep breath. He might as well give him a real present. “Maybe even one that was during the time that you met your wife.”

  Jess laughed. “Why the hell would I want to do that?”

  “Trust me,” Stout said. “Just find a song.”

  He leaned against the counter behind the bar and concentrated on taking deep breaths and not thinking about Carl and Fred.

  “You all right? David asked.

  Stout looked up into David’s worried face. What would Stout have done over the last few years without David’s friendship? What was Stout going to do without it over the next few years if he let David play a song?

  “Just suddenly got tired. Nothing big.”

  Stout moved to pour himself another eggnog and watch Jess pick over the tunes. Jess was the best joker. He said he needed the practical jokes to keep his sanity with his bitch of a wife. But when asked why he didn’t just leave her, he always said marrying her was his mistake and he would live with it. That was what he had been taught. Then he would make a joke and change the subject.

  “Found one,” Jess said. He held up the quarter. “You want me to play it?”

  “Yeah. But after you select the song tell Dave and me what memory it reminds you of.”

  Jess dropped the quarter into the slot and punched two buttons to start the jukebox. “You remember the song, ‘Snoopy Versus the Red Baron?’”

  Stout and David both nodded.

  “That was playing the moment I asked my wife to marry me. Figures, doesn’t it?”

  David laughed.

  But Stout didn’t. He knew he was going to lose Jess also.

  “Remember that you only have the length of the song. Not one second longer. All right?”

  Jess shrugged and started back toward the bar. “Whatever you...”

  The song started and Jess vanished.

  “What the hell?” David asked, standing and heading toward the jukebox.

  Stout picked up Jess’s mostly empty glass and moved around toward the jukebox, too.

  David glanced at the two glasses on the back bar and then at the glass Stout held. Then he looked over to where Jess had been. “You want to explain exactly what the hell is going on here?”

  Stout nodded, too tired to argue. “But come on over and touch the jukebox. It’s the only way you’re going to remember.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  About five years later…

  June 10th, 2020

  Central Wilderness Area, Idaho

  TALIA BARELY MANAGED to get back inside the lodge before her slightly wet hair froze to her head. It got cold in Wisconsin in the winter, of that there was no doubt. But not in June. In fact, when she had left, the weather had been a humid ninety-two in Madison.

  Wow, how Bonnie and Duster could eat breakfast out there was amazing. Granted, some would say the view was to die for, but she had no intention of freezing to death for it.

  Ryan was sitting close to the fire at a four-person table, his hands stretched out toward the crackling flames from the logs. The room smelled wonderful, a combination of bacon and wood smoke from the fireplace.

  She had felt instantly at home when she came into this lodge. She doubted she could afford rooms here as nice as hers was, but as long as Bonnie and Duster were paying, she was going to enjoy it.

  And enjoy her time with this handsome and smart mathematician she was going to get the pleasure to work with. Ryan seemed so in control, so excited about life and this project, and that made her smile as well.

  She reached the table and he glanced up, saw her, and stood, a large grin on his face.

  Now that was impressive. A smart man with manners as well.

  “Hair almost froze to my head out there,” Talia said, laughing as she sat down at the heavy wood table. The wonderful fire was exactly the right temperature to take off the chill she was feeling from only a minute on the deck.

  “They are a hardy pair,” Ryan said. “Amazing minds.”

  “Do they seem older to you?” Talia asked. Spending time yesterday with Bonnie at the airport, then at lunch, then on the helicopter flight in, she got the sense that Bonnie was far, far older than in her early thirties.

  “Very old,” Ryan said, nodding. “I spent all of yesterday with Duster and felt more like a child being humored at times. Nothing disrespectful at all, but as if Duster was very old and some of my reactions and responses were just young.”

  “Strange, huh?” Talia said as the waitress with short black hair in jeans, a white blouse, and a white apron came to get their order. They both ordered the same thing. A ham-and-cheese omelet with a side of bacon and coffee. Ryan took his coffee black, just as she did. She was liking more and more about this man every moment.

  After the waitress left, Talia scooted her chair around slightly so her back was to the warm fire and she was facing Ryan directly. “Could you explain to me more of what you think this nexus is?”

  Ryan nodded and she could see in his eyes his mind gearing up. He seemed to vanish from his eyes for a moment, then returned.

  She had a hunch she did that same thing at times when deep in thought on a problem. A couple of her short-lived boyfriends said she was often just not home in her head.

  She had told them she was home just fine, just down inside in another room where they weren’t welcome. For some reason, that hadn’t pleased any of them.

  “The math of modern physics,” Ryan said, “which includes time and energy and matter, always leads to the fact that at regular intervals through the known universe, all three forms must come together. That’s what Bonnie and Duster, in some of their papers, call ‘The Nexus.’”

  “So you think they might have found a Nexus?” she asked. “You clearly surprised them with your question.”

  “It would
seem logical,” Ryan said, “but I would have no idea what this Nexus would look like. They might have only found it in pure theory as a point in space or something.”

  She nodded, staring into his dark eyes. “So you think music waves can travel through time? I’ve worked a lot with the mathematics of sound waves. Never occurred to me to think that.”

  “Never worked much with the math of waves,” Ryan said. “But from the math that Bonnie and Duster have done, they have proven at least mathematically that time and energy and matter are moderately fluid. And waves can travel through a fluid.”

  Talia sat back, nodding. Now she understood why she was here. This entire idea was so cutting edge mathematics as to be scary. And combining the mathematics of energy and time with that of the mathematics of waves would be amazingly fascinating.

  And exciting.

  Who knew what they might find.

  She was honored that Bonnie and Duster had picked her for this research.

  In front of her, a plate slid on the wooden tabletop as the waitress put her breakfast in front of Talia.

  She blinked and looked up at Ryan’s smiling face.

  “Did I leave for a moment?” Talia asked.

  Ryan nodded. “My friends say I do that as well at times. Glad to see I’m not the only one.”

  “Yeah, me too,” Talia said.

  “Damn dangerous driving, though,” Ryan said.

  “I hardly drive at all,” Talia said. “Don’t even own a car.”

  Again Ryan laughed as he dug into his omelet. “Neither do I.”

  Damn, she was liking this man more and more, and not just for his incredible brain and looks. He might actually understand her.

  CHAPTER TEN

  December 24th, 1999

  Boise, Idaho

  SNOOPY AND THE Red Baron were just starting to go at it on Jess’s classic ’65 Ford car radio as Jess found himself face to face with Mary, his soon-to-be bitch-of-a-wife.

  “What the...?”