And if she went back to Vegas as Sienna, what would happen to Lila, the woman deep inside her soul?
Lila clung to Carson as the car came to a stop, afraid of the decisions she would need to make soon after she left the vehicle. She needed to understand who she was now that her past was behind her; frankly, something she never considered to be a possibility. Was she Sienna or Lila? Sienna had built a good life for herself over the last few years with decent people in it, and now she had Carson, so he said.
Carson. He fell for Sienna. He said he loved her whether her name was Lila or Sienna, but how could he know that? He had only just learned who she really was, where she came from, and why she ran away from it all. Escaped to a life she once would have called morally degrading.
Would Carson still love her now that her true colors were revealed?
Could she be Lila in real life with Carson and Sienna onstage to her fans? Would he accept that?
The woman winding through the hotel hallway, walking to her room at the moment would never say stripping or working in a place like the Tunnel was degrading. No, the Tunnel and the people that came with the club took care of and protected her when they didn’t even know what they were guarding her against. Those same individuals were on their way to see her at this very moment, to simply be with her, love her, and make it all better.
She could never give up Sienna totally. Sienna had given her what she was about to receive. A new family.
Her Las Vegas family thought she was beautiful inside and out, thought she was sweet and funny. They loved spending time with her. They didn’t yell or hit, only supported her unconditionally.
She would never desert them or what they grew together. Carson would have to understand. She needed these people to survive.
Her parents obviously didn’t get the ugliness she ran from and wanted to tear her away from the beauty she made instead. Lila knew she’d never reunite with them as long as she lived. It used to hurt when she thought about them over the years, but now she realized she’d believed what she wanted to about them. They weren’t the caring individuals Lila thought them to be from when she was a young girl. Her parents had an agenda to move up in their narrow world, and Lila was a pawn in their plan.
Lila had too much making up for lost time to do to burden herself with trying to figure it all out.
Her new family—Asher, Mike, Penelope, Petal, and Sydney—were on a private plane to New York to be with her, whether she was Lila or Sienna. Even Petey, who she heard stayed behind to watch the club, was closer to her than her mom and dad. She knew her new family loved her, and wanted to do whatever necessary while she healed from the kidnapping and attack. She didn’t need Carson to tell her that, but he did.
Their affection and Carson’s reassurance was more than her own parents offered her. Ever.
Carson hadn’t left her side. She wanted to let herself believe what he said in the car. He loved her. It wasn’t a fairy tale, but it was more than she ever expected.
Was it true? Could she allow herself to have it? To take the sweetness in front of her?
AFTER SHOWERING and resting for a couple of hours, Lila woke to find her friends waiting in the hotel suite. They ordered a late dinner to be delivered up to the suite, and while they ate, she told them the entire story about what happened to her before coming to Vegas, revealing details she’d never told anyone. They cried right alongside Lila over how she was battered and bruised, yet brave enough to climb through that window, get on a bus, and find them.
It was because of this family that Lila began the healing process she never quite started years before.
She needed to stop thinking about the what-ifs and should’ves, and start believing in a good life, Asher told her over and over again while tucking her into his side on the couch, stealing her away from Carson.
They were a motley group, all with their own skeletons in the closet, but together they were surviving, and that was what Lila needed. As a whole, the group decided to call her Lila in private. It was such a pretty name, a survivor’s name. But when she finally made it back to Vegas—and she was going to get back there, they weren’t taking no for an answer—she’d always be Sienna at the Tunnel.
She could be Lila with those who really knew her, and Sienna for her fans. Carson, despite being her biggest fan, was also the one who knew her best. To him, she became “Li” all the time.
During those first days in New York after her rescue, Carson held her, promised her everything would work out, and waited patiently for her to make sense of her future and what felt right. He didn’t push for her to say she loved him, but he made sure she knew he loved her without any reservation.
She went to sleep each night wrapped in Carson’s warmth. They didn’t make love. She wasn’t ready after what she’d been subjected to in the warehouse, and she wanted to get her mind in the right place so she could be completely attentive to Carson. He told her he understood and allowed her to keep control, but she relished in holding and kissing him without any secrets between them.
Lila made peace with her brothers. All three of them came to see her at the hotel and visited. Carson remained in the background, just in case Lila changed her mind or became uncomfortable. They all blamed themselves for not seeing any warning signs or stepping in when Lila needed them most, or when her parents chose the Finders over her. Her oldest brother, Daniel, seemed especially burdened by guilt over their part.
But Lila wouldn’t allow them to take on any of the burden. They were good men, and never doubted her parents would want anything but the best for Lila. Unfortunately, they had been wrong.
After all the emotions and reunions had run their course, Lila had to help the Bureau tie up loose ends surrounding the case.
Carson sat by her side the whole time she was debriefed by the FBI. He didn’t patronize or coddle her, but let her reveal the nasty truth about her life seven years ago, the details of her escape back then, and everything else all the way up to her abduction. She knew none of it was easy for Carson to hear, but she needed to control the information and make sure this time everyone knew the truth.
Carson had been right; Elon faced serious charges and lengthy prison time. It wasn’t hard to press him to divorce her. Filing the paperwork to dissolve her miserable marriage was the last thing Lila did before leaving New York.
WITH HER real identification in hand, thanks to the Bureau, Lila left for Philadelphia to see where Carson lived. It was the first trip she had taken as Lila.
Carson had made plans for her to go back to Philadelphia with him while she spent time with her thoughts in the suite in New York City. He wanted to show her his condo before taking her on vacation, to the Bahamas.
Lila was apprehensive. She felt obligated to get back to the club and dance, to help ensure her friends were successful, and she’d never taken a vacation other than an overnight here and there in Red Rock with Asher. Not once had she gone a multicity adventure, let alone out of the country.
One call from Asher, and she was left with no more fears or excuses. He insisted she go, promised he’d take a long trip when she returned, and made her believe she deserved it. It amused her to think how he and Carson had obviously become fast friends.
Carson rented a car, a fast one, to drive them back to Philadelphia. Lila enjoyed the drive, taking in the passing scenery. She’d never been outside New York before she ran away, and when she did leave last time, it was on a bus and dark outside. Her most recent car trip back east was also less than pleasant, plus she’d been heavily drugged during the entire journey.
Once she and Carson left the big city and were on the large expanse of freeway, they sped by farms, green pastures, and gorgeous mountains. Lila took it all in like a little girl. She caught Carson smiling at her many times during the ride, and reveled in it for a second before begging him to put his eyes back on the road.
After shifting into high gear, Carson held Lila’s hand, rubbing his thumb back and forth over hers
, lending her his strength and confidence without ever uttering a word. It was such a simple indulgence, holding hands while driving free, but it held such intense significance for Lila. She was free to be Lila and live, love, and move on.
Parking in Carson’s garage brought on a whole new set of jitters for Lila. She was there, at Carson’s place. Walking in from the garage, she caught a glimpse of his motorcycle parked next to the wall. She looked at the bike, then at him, and his brown eyes twinkled. “You want to go for a ride?” he asked, his dimples in full bloom.
She grinned and pretended to shoot her head. “No way. I was thinking with how fast you drive a car, I can’t imagine what you do on that thing. It’s probably scary.”
“Definitely scary. Scary fun. I missed my bike when I was out west, but not nearly as much as I missed being inside you the last few days. Come on.” He lifted her up, threw her over his shoulder like it was nothing, playfully smacked her butt, and carried her to the elevator. She laughed to herself as she remembered the last time he went caveman on her.
Carson lived in a posh, huge condo in the center of Philadelphia. There was nothing compact about it, as she recalled him telling her he had a “small place” when they first had coffee.
The space wasn’t homey like hers, though. She was saddened to see Carson had very little on the walls, nothing but beer in the built-in stainless fridge, and little more furniture than a sectional sofa and a huge entertainment center complete with the largest TV Lila had ever seen. The minimalist decor and feeling screamed lonely to Lila, but she would deal with that later because before she could take in any more, Carson scooped her up for the second time and showed her his bedroom, which held only a king-sized bed.
He gently placed her down on the bed and rested beside her, propped up on one elbow. They just lay there staring into each other’s eyes, Lila’s green and Carson’s brown, and let their gazes do the talking. Their eyes were both filled with equal parts love, lust, need, and want.
Both of them were two lonely, hopeless souls before they met. Neither believed they deserved something to last, a little touch of sweetness, and now that they had more good than they knew what to do with, there were no words to express it. Only actions.
Carson smoothed her long hair behind her back and pressed his mouth to hers. What started out as a soft kiss quickly grew to a delicious blend of lips, tongues, and teeth. They fed off each other’s heat, racing toward more tasting, touching, and melding their bodies together in the most magnificent of ways.
Lila knew he wanted to put his mouth elsewhere, kiss her where he hadn’t been in a while, and make her scream his name. Which she most definitely wanted, but she wanted to be the first to incite the passion. Forcing herself to pull away from his mouth, she kissed along his neck, lapped around his nipples with her hands slowly roaming south, then began inching down his body.
Her fingers found his button fly and opened his jeans, pushing them down and finally off with her foot. She grasped him, all of him, running her hand up and down his smooth shaft, caressing the silky tip with her thumb. Carson let out a deep moan right before she lowered her head and took him completely in her mouth.
She really didn’t know what to do, but took cues from his moans as she sank deeper on him with her lips. She slid back up and down again at a slow rhythm, moistening all of him, savoring his salty taste, loving her first experience with this.
This being her first blow job.
Carson lifted his hips so he could slide a bit deeper in her mouth, and she started to move a little faster. He wound his hands in her hair, keeping her at the current pace, obviously liking the faster way she was skimming up and down him.
She moved one of her hands up his abs and chest to slowly graze his nipples while she continued to suck him below with her mouth.
Now she understood how it turned him on so much to pleasure her with his mouth. The sounds he was making, the way he kept pressing into her, the sight of his head falling back on the pillow in ecstasy had her so turned on, she was ready for anything.
Carson broke the moment. “Lila, oh God, you feel incredible, but I’m not going to last and I want you.”
He stilled her and pulled her back up his body, then met her mouth with his and kissed her passionately. He stroked his tongue against hers before flipping on top of her and pushing her thighs apart with his legs. She could feel how hard he was against her core.
Her body had a mind of its own and was straining toward him, begging him to dive inside. She was wet and more than ready. She felt his hand brush over her dripping core, and without pause, he entered her, filling and consuming her at once.
For the first time since they met, they were Lila and Carson with no secrets or barriers between them. She was certain this made it even better. They were suspended in time as one; her body ached for more every time he slid in and out of her.
He held her hip tightly, rubbing his thumb along her scar as though he was scrubbing the memory from her mind and replacing it with a happier one, as he went deeper and deeper. She didn’t have to tell him what the scar was; she knew he knew. He was making it all go away with each time he drove inside her.
Lila squeezed his ass every time he landed in her depths, silently asking for him to not stop what he was doing. It was carnal, passionate, and beautiful all at the same time.
They devoured each other, and Lila felt her orgasm tunneling through her veins, seeping out from her bones, and igniting her soul. She couldn’t hold the force of it back, and when he gave her a long, soulful thrust, she came with Carson’s name on her tongue.
He shuddered inside her as she rode out the last waves of her climax, shivering all around him, reveling in hearing her name from his mouth. Her real name, all hoarse and gravelly, deep from his throat while he was planted inside her, surrounded by infinite pleasure and a feeling she’d never felt before.
“I love you, Carson.”
The words slipped out all on their own, and Lila realized that was the feeling she was experiencing so deliciously. Love. Love without strings or demands. Unadulterated love. She said and meant it, and had to believe Carson wasn’t lying when he told her earlier.
He whispered sweet words of love to her, and then proceeded to spend the next few hours showing her how he felt.
SPENDING THE entire day and night in bed, only getting up to answer the door for takeout, Lila didn’t see any of Philadelphia until twenty-four hours after arriving. She didn’t care. She was seeing all she wanted to see in Carson’s eyes.
Eventually, he did take a little time to show her around the city. She took in the architecture and history, met his friend Alex, who was somewhat like a brother and clearly important, but mostly enjoyed being alone with Carson at home with no pretense, making love, and exploring each other.
They even took a short ride on his bike. A short, painfully fast excursion where Lila lost herself in leaning into his muscular back, reveled in having her arms folded tightly around his waist, and thought if it weren’t so dangerous, motorcycle riding behind him wasn’t half bad.
After a few days, Carson made true on his promise to go to the Bahamas. Something he told Lila he planned to do without her when he finished the case that brought them together, but was going to be much better with her.
And it was so fabulous together. Just the two of them. After a week of indulging in each other on their veranda, in the sand with the ocean waves rolling in the background, and on the enormous bed in their cabana at an exclusive resort, Lila finally had to face going back to life and what that meant. She couldn’t stay in paradise forever.
It was easy to lose herself in the tranquility and easiness of being Carson and Lila in the most stunning place ever, forgetting where they came from, and what was waiting for her at home. She had a life to get back to, even though her identity had been destroyed. There were people she cared about waiting for her, depending on her for help and success.
She owed those people, and she had to get bac
k to them. But she also owed Carson and wanted to stay with him. Did he want to stay with her? How would that work?
Their last evening in the Bahamas, while dining under the stars at a private table set for two outside their little bungalow, she asked Carson, “So, will we visit each other, see each other. How will this work?”
He set his fork down, sat up straight, and smoothed his hand across his face. “Li, baby, there will be no visiting.”
Lila couldn’t stop herself from frowning, her eyes immediately welling up with tears. She couldn’t control her face and emotions betraying her, showing every bit of her sadness and remorse.
“Lila, I’m kidding. Kidding. There will be no visiting because I’m moving to Vegas with you. That is, if you’ll have me.” He laughed loudly, bared his big beautiful smile, leaned over and planted a big kiss on her lips.
She brought her fingers up to her mouth, tracing where he just left, and tilted her head to the side. “What? How? You have a life, a job, a condo.”
“Is that an excuse? Are you looking for a way out? We never discussed your religion, is that it? The one you were raised in, it’s obviously not the same as mine, which is nonexistent. Is that a problem? I don’t know what to suggest. I only want to be with you, for always.”
She shifted in her seat. “It’s not an excuse! I don’t care what religion you are. I’m not the same person I was back in Brooklyn. I don’t believe in many of the old customs anymore. They didn’t help me when I needed them the most. I do believe someone was looking out for me, though, because I met you. And now you want to be with me? It’s just, I can’t believe this is happening. All my dreams are coming true. That’s not supposed to happen.”
Carson nodded and snared her gaze with his. “It’s true and should be for you of all people, you deserve it and more. Listen, I work for myself, and I want to be with you. Period. I can live anywhere, but I want to be with you. Does that work for you?” He got out of his chair, picked her up by her hips, and lifted her so they were eye to eye.
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