Unchain My Heart

by Jani Kay

  His eyes traveled up and down my body. “How far along are you? Is it too late for—” He swallowed hard, unable to say the word.

  I shook my head, sick to my stomach. “Jesus, Harrison. You can’t be serious. It's my baby we are talking about.” I was shaking from head to toe. I sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I couldn’t believe that Harrison of all people would suggest I kill my unborn child. It was ludicrous.

  Complete madness.

  I’d never realized just how deep Harrison’s hatred ran. It scared the living shit out of me. I came to stand directly in front of my brother, lifting my chin to look him squarely in the eyes, continuing my rant, even though I was finding it hard to breathe. “I want this baby. Have you stopped for one damn minute to think about what’s good for me?” If I had been raised any differently I would’ve smacked his goddamn face. “I love Ryder and we want this. Deal with it.”

  Harrison balled his fists by his sides. His eyes were nearly bugging out of his head. “You aren’t married. The career you’ve worked so hard for? You’re messing it all up. Your future is going down the drain, fast. I can’t stand by and watch you throw yourself at a biker like trash. And I won’t let you throw your life away.”

  I jabbed my finger into his chest, hard, wanting to hurt him as much as his words were cutting me. “You don’t get it, do you? Love changes everything. When you love somebody, it's all that matters. No career in the world can replace love.”

  Harrison sneered down at me. “Don’t fool yourself that Ryder is in love with you. I always thought you were a lot smarter than that, Jade. You disappoint me. An intelligent girl like you—falling for his bullshit.”

  Refusing to believe him, I shook my head vehemently. “Ryder fucking loves me. And he wants the baby as much as I do.”

  “Sure he does. You’re his meal ticket into the good life. But when your belly gets big and round and he can’t fu—have sex with you anymore? He’ll go find it elsewhere. Screw every chick he can get his dick into. I know his type. I've seen it happen more than once, and I'm not having that happen to you.”

  His cruel words knocked me in the gut, making me stagger backwards to put distance between us. “There is nothing you can do to stop me. I'm having this baby—with Ryder.”

  He went quiet for a moment, his jaw working fervently. “Has Ryder asked you to marry him? Has he even made the slightest commitment to you for the future?”

  Blood drained from my face, my body running cold. The smirk twisting Harrison’s lips was hard to watch without wanting to physically harm him.

  “That’s what I thought. The prick hasn’t made any long-term commitment to you, has he? He’ll probably up and leave before the bastard child of yours is born.”

  My knees were folding beneath me. I clung to the back of the chair, placing a hand over my belly. No. Not Ryder. He’d never do that to me. Would he?

  “I should kill him just for having sex with you. Never mind for getting you knocked up.”

  I sucked oxygen into my lungs. Where has all the air in the room gone?

  “I love Ryder. I want his child. Why can’t you understand that?”

  He shook his head, sadness in his eyes. “Jade. Young and naïve, Jade. Men like Knox don’t operate like that. He doesn’t care what you want. Now he’s had the goods, and as soon as you are no longer attractive to him he’ll drop you and move on. His type always does.”

  My throat burned. I blinked rapidly, trying to stop the tears from welling up in my eyes. I didn’t want Harrison to think this was a mistake. That I was doomed. This didn’t mean my life with Ryder Knox was over.

  Did it?

  “Harrison, I pity you. You clearly don’t understand love. But one day soon, you will meet the right woman, and she will knock the breath out of you.” I drew air into my lungs. “And she’ll knock your shit out of you, too. Mark my words.”

  His laugh was cold. Hard, even. “That, my dear sister, will never happen. There isn’t a woman on this planet that will ever get to my heart again. It's chained to Amy. Nobody can ever take her place. And don’t you dare speak to me like that again.”

  I’d gotten to him—he was clearly rattled.

  Was there a woman who could unchain Harrison’s cold and bitter heart? She’d have to be an angel. Superhuman. Because the chains around his heart were rusty, binding him to the past forever.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine — Ryder

  I stopped the Harley in the driveway, eager to get inside and to see Jade. I’d just taken the shortest route back from the MC club where I’d met with Razor and the boys. Cobra had taken Mia and the kids away for a few days, so it was safe for me to go there without bumping into him or causing an altercation.

  The MC boys and I had knocked back a few beers, laughing and joking like the old times. But it didn’t feel quite the same—I was deliberately keeping a secret from my brothers and from Cobra and Mia. There was no way in hell I wanted them to know that Jade was pregnant. Not until this whole fucking mess was cleared up.

  Hell, they didn’t even know I was living with Jade. The story was that I had to look after Max’s place. I was a man who needed my own space from time to time, like most bikers, so I didn’t think they suspected that I was lying. All I had to do was not talk about Jade and they’d assume it was over. Because that’s how quickly I’d moved on in the past.

  I removed the helmet and wiped the sweat from my brow. I was tired of always having to try to keep the peace. For once I wanted it to just be about me, and what I wanted. About what made me, Ryder Knox, happy—without worrying how it would affect everyone else.

  Walking to the front door, I quickened my pace. I couldn’t wait to hold my woman in my arms. A part of me was missing when she wasn’t around. I missed her smile, the way her gaze followed my movements, and especially the way they shone when she said she loved me.

  My family.

  Me, Jade and Peanut.

  We were a family now.

  Jade’s belly had swollen over the past few weeks, making her radiant and happy. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, nor keep my hands to myself. The more she glowed, the more she pulled me to her like a moth to a flame.

  There wasn’t a time I thought I could ever tire of her. Truth was, I couldn’t get enough of her. I wanted to be with her, soaking up her contented happiness as the days passed and Peanut grew inside her.

  We fucked. A lot. She’d joked that she may just as well walk around naked because I was always undressing her, making love to her, burying my cock inside her. I’d grinned, agreeing that it was the best plan she’d ever had.

  I loved looking at her, especially when she was naked. Everything about her was beautiful, even the small stretch marks that marred her once flawless skin. I’d kiss them, one by one, cherishing the changes her body was going through for the sake of our baby.

  Her breasts had been spectacular before, but now they left me speechless. Any porn star would pay big money to have tits like hers. And I reveled in her changing body, loving every inch of her with my mouth, hands and cock. It was as if she got hornier the more her belly grew. Fuck, I'd have her constantly pregnant if that were true.

  I pushed the door open, listening for her greeting. She’d always drop whatever she was doing and come to kiss me, telling me how much she’d missed me. The silence that met me now left an empty feeling in my gut.

  “Princess. I’m back,” I called, thinking that she was probably in the bath, or outside pottering with her herb garden. I smiled as I imagined her talking to her plants. I’d called her stark raving crazy, but the way her herbs grew and flourished, I had to shut the fuck up, because whatever she was saying definitely made a difference.

  Not finding her at the back door, I retraced my steps to the bathroom. Grinning, I pushed the door open. Bubble baths were my favorite. I'd get into the bath behind her, soap up her body and then have her ride my cock, splashing water everywhere as we fucked with abandon.

  She wasn’t in the
bath. “Jade. Baby. Where are you?” I fucking hated getting home when she wasn’t here. It sometimes happened that she got caught up at the office, working late on some urgent case. I sighed. Just my luck that it would be tonight when I'd so looked forward to holding her.

  It was time I met her parents and we faced the world as a real couple. I hated that I was excluded from Jade’s family. All this sneaking around wasn’t how I wanted to live the rest of our life, especially when the baby arrived—I wanted Peanut to have a relationship with her grandparents.

  Bill had welcomed Jade warmly and was pleased as hell that he was becoming a grandfather. Surely Jade’s parents would be just as excited to learn about their first grandbaby?

  What is Harrison’s reaction going to be when he finds out?

  I poured a drink and settled on the sofa. I looked around at the place. Jade hadn’t officially moved in, but she may as well have, because every inch of the place was filled with her: her books, her laptop, even her lip-gloss. She’d placed pictures of us in frames and bought comfy cushions for the sofa. Granted, they were small things, but she permeated the space. I couldn’t imagine life without my woman.

  I kicked back and closed my eyes. It was weird how lost I felt without her here. I'd gone fucking soft. My Princess had changed me—and I liked the mellow Ryder. It was time the badass biker grew up and became a man with a family. I smiled at the thought of Peanut. Yeah.

  I’d been to the doctor with Jade and we’d heard the heartbeat and seen the ultrasound pictures. I was convinced Peanut was a girl, and had already started thinking about suitable names. We’d find out for certain at our next appointment. I was going to spend big on pink shit for the baby room if I was right.

  When I wanted to take a bet on it, Jade refused, just laughing and reminding me that I had a fifty percent chance of being wrong. She was adamant that it didn’t really matter what sex our baby was; she knew we’d love it regardless.

  Princess was right.

  Chapter Thirty — Harrison

  Besides Amy and my mother, I’d never loved a woman like I loved my little sister. From the day my parents brought her home from hospital, Jade was fragile and different to all my friend’s baby brothers and sisters.

  Born six weeks prematurely with a serious congenital heart defect, it was touch and go if she would survive. I didn’t really understand the anguish my parents were going through, but when I heard them talk about a hole in her heart, it really worried me. To my child’s brain, anything with a hole in it, especially a heart, had to be damaged.

  After she was born, I couldn’t see her for weeks, but when finally I laid eyes on this curious defective creature, it was love at first sight. She was scrawny, her skin pale-grey and wrinkled, and she was ugly as fuck with bug-like eyes and blue fingernails, but to me she was a miracle.

  “Mommy, why does Jade cry so much?” I asked. “Does she not like being here with us?”

  “Because she can’t breathe properly, Harrison. And she turns blue because she doesn’t get enough oxygen into her lungs.” I couldn’t imagine not being able to breathe—didn’t we all do it automatically without thinking about it?

  Every time she cried, I tried to make her smile by pulling funny faces.

  Her bluish bottom lip would quiver, then she’d stop crying, tears hovering on her long lashes. She’d hold on to my finger and stare at me with blue eyes that looked far too big for her tiny head.

  My parents, at the end of their tether, would sigh with relief that she’d stopped, praising me for being such a good boy. “Harrison, you’re a strong boy. Your job is to be Jade’s protector. Promise us that you’ll always look after her.”

  Of course I promised. I would do anything for her.

  Once I saved her life. She’d virtually stopped breathing and was blue in the face. I'd watched CPR videos on the Internet for a “just in case” moment, hoping I’d never need it. The fear that gripped my insides as I breathed into her lungs never left me. Thank God it worked.

  And that’s why I'd become so overprotective of Jade. She was my shadow, or rather—I was hers. If she had to be taken from us on my watch, I'd never forgive myself.

  And now she was telling me she was throwing her precious life away on a fucking biker.

  What if having a baby cost her her life?

  What then?

  Did biker boy even know about the risks? That Jade’s kids could have it too?

  “Jade, have you told Knox about your heart?” I asked, suspecting that she hadn’t.

  “Harrison, mind your own business. I’ve outgrown the condition. Everything is fine. That has nothing to do with my pregnancy.”

  “No? It does. And it might have implications for your babies, too. You know that. It may be better to . . . terminate—”

  Jade shook her head. “I'm fit and healthy, Harrison.”

  “You haven’t told him, have you? Defects like yours are never totally repairable. I've watched you over the years . . . you always lose your breath a lot faster than anyone else, even though you try to hide it.”

  She rubbed at her heart with her palm, her face pale with a bluish tinge I knew so well.

  “Are you okay? Take deep breaths,” I said, automatically taking a step toward her.

  Her eyes flared as she took a step backward and yelled at me. “Don’t touch me. I can’t believe you suggested I get rid of the baby. What kind of monster are you?”

  “Jade, calm down—”

  “Don’t you tell me to calm down. You say all these nasty things and expect me to agree with you? I know you’ve always looked out for me, but I don’t need you anymore. I have Ryder now—Ryder and my baby. Which. I. Am. Keeping. So get that through your thick skull.”

  She was sucking at air now, her eyes wide, nearly bugging out of her head.

  “Sit down. Catch your breath,” I shouted, panic gripping me as her chest heaved.

  She grabbed her purse and walked to the door, jerking it open. “I’m leaving . . . tell Mom . . . I’ll be . . . back tomorrow . . . with Ryder,” she panted.

  “Wait. You can’t—” The words froze in my throat.

  She stumbled over the cat that made its way in through the door. As if in slow motion, I watched her hit the floor with a thud and then roll down the stairs, head first.

  Fuck. No!

  No. No. No.

  I raced down the stairs, two at a time, screaming her name at the top of my lungs. This couldn’t be happening. Fuck.

  A car had stopped in the driveway. The look of horror on my mother’s face as she sat behind the wheel, witnessing her daughter’s fall down the stairs, would haunt my dreams forever.

  Chapter Thirty-One — Jade

  Not since I was a child did I find it so difficult to breathe. Harrison’s words cut through me, slicing into my heart.

  I had to get away. Pain shot through my abdomen and my lungs battled for air. My head was swimming and my chest tightened—I needed to breathe fresh air.

  I jerked the door open to flee outside. The warm furry body of Minx brushed between my calves as she greeted me with a meow.

  The last thing I remembered was Harrison’s voice as I hit the ground . . .

  When I opened my eyes again, I was in an ambulance, sirens wailing, and an oxygen mask over my face. I sucked the pure cold air into my lungs, breathing for me and for Peanut.

  The paramedics wiped blood from my legs. Warm, sticky blood. Peanut.

  Oh dear God, please no.

  Ryder. Where the hell was Ryder?

  I wanted him here.

  I wanted him to hold my hand and kiss my brow.

  I wanted him to tell me everything was going to be okay.

  The blackness stole my consciousness again, pulling me under a thick, heavy blanket.

  Chapter Thirty-Two — Ryder

  It must have been several hours later, because it was dark outside when I opened my eyes again. The curtains hadn’t been drawn and the moonlight was bathing the room in an e
erie light. I sat upright, bewildered. The big clock in the living room chimed. It was nine o’clock.

  Jade. She still wasn’t home. Fuck.

  Panic gripped my heart, causing it to beat erratically in my chest. Jade should have been home more than two hours ago. She never stayed out this late without me. Since she’d fallen pregnant she got tired easily, and often fell asleep quite early in the evenings. My throat tightened. Was she okay? Had she been in an accident? Where the fuck was she? I grabbed my phone to see if there were any messages.

  Nothing.

  This wasn’t like Jade. Maybe she’d decided to stay the night at her parents’ house. She hadn’t done it in months, not since before we’d gone to New York. I wouldn’t have minded, as long as I knew where she was and that she was safe. My hands trembled as I called her number.

  Please let her be okay.

  The call to Jade’s phone went straight to voicemail. Christ. My anxiety kicked up a notch. I called again, gripping the phone as if it was a lifeline.

  “Jade’s phone, Sylvia speaking.”

  I sucked in a breath. Why in hell was Jade’s mother answering the phone?

  “Hello Sylvia,” I said as calmly as possible. I’d never met the woman, and this wasn’t the way I'd envisioned our first conversation. But I had to cut to the chase—I needed to know that Jade was okay. “It's Ryder. Can I speak to Jade please?”

  She cleared her throat before answering. “Hello, Ryder. I'm sorry, Jade can’t come to the phone right now.”

  Was she already asleep? Maybe she’d gone to bed in her old bedroom. But something in Sylvia’s voice was off and I heard the sound of sirens in the background. Pure unadulterated fear gripped my insides, sending my heart racing. “What do you mean? Has something happened? Is she okay?”

  “We’re at the hospital. Jade is with the doctor now.” Her voice was laced with concern that she wasn’t trying to hide. Things were sounding way off. My stomach lurched. Fuck.

  “What happened?” My breath was ragged, my heart pumping so rapidly it made my head spin.