Risk of Falling

by Syndi Powell

  Tori helped her set the suitcase on the floor and extend the handle to pull it. “You’re welcome to stay with me for a few days.”

  “I appreciate the offer, but...” She didn’t want to be a burden on anyone. She needed time to figure this out, and that meant being alone. “I’ll come up with something.” She smiled at Will’s sister. “But thank you for asking.”

  Another knock on the door. Will walked in. “I don’t mean to rush you, but we need to go.”

  Suzy pointed to the suitcase on the floor. “I’m ready.”

  She wheeled the suitcase into the living room. With all the boxes gone, the area looked a lot bigger. Big enough for her to walk through with her suitcase beside her. She pulled it out onto the front yard. Saw her friends standing there still. Watching her. Waiting for them to say she was okay. She smiled. “Didn’t exactly end like we expected, huh?”

  Pres rushed forward. “My offer is still open. Come home with me. It’ll be like our freshman year in college.”

  “I don’t know.” She wanted to be alone. To have her pity party in private.

  Pres put her hand on the suitcase. “I do. You’re going home with me.”

  Suzy let go of the handle and watched her friend put the suitcase in the back seat of her car. She turned to the rest of them. “Um, thank you for what you did. I only wish we’d had a better finish.”

  “We’ll discuss this on Wednesday.” Page nudged Henry who engulfed Suzy in a hug. She didn’t have the energy to reciprocate with more than an awkward tap on his back. They left soon after.

  Rick approached her. “Real sorry about this, Suze. I’ll see what I can do about an engineer, okay?”

  Will held up his cell phone. “Already taken care of. Sam’ll be here shortly.”

  “I’d like to hear what he says.” Suzy crossed her arms over her chest, daring Will to make her leave. Because that was a fight he wouldn’t win.

  He agreed then looked at his sister. Tori hugged her. “Let me know if you need anything. Anything at all.”

  “Thanks for helping me in Mama’s room.”

  “Thank you for the sweater.” She turned to her boys. “You guys hungry?” When they started throwing out lunch suggestions, she groaned. “I should have known.”

  They left in small groups. Pres promised to get the room ready for her, but to take her time getting there. Then it was only Suzy and Will left, standing on the front lawn looking up at her house.

  But not her house. Not anymore.

  * * *

  WILL SAT ON the porch while Suzy, several feet away from him, leaned against the black metal stair railing. He noticed she didn’t want to be anywhere near him. He guessed that made sense. She asked, “When’s Sam supposed to be here?”

  “Soon.”

  She gave a nod, glanced at the boxes of things. “Might as well be productive while I wait.”

  He took a step forward. “Suzy—”

  “Don’t say a word.” She walked down the steps and started to rummage through one of the boxes he’d removed from the living room earlier that day. She pulled a couple items out. Examined them. Then tossed them back in. Picked up the box and tossed it in the dumpster.

  He winced at her anger as she followed the first box with a second. “I could have helped you with those.”

  She glanced at him, her eyes dead when they used to sparkle. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough already?”

  Good point. He stayed seated and watched her go through another box. She tossed that in the dumpster too. Soon, she was carrying the rest of the boxes and throwing them all away. He got to his feet and went over to her. He gently put his hands on her shoulders. “Stop. What are you doing?”

  “What’s the point of going through them if I have nowhere to put anything?” She looked up at him, her eyes rimmed in red but no tears stained her cheeks. “Might as well throw everything away.”

  He’d done this to her. He’d changed her, and he hated himself for it. He reached out to touch her cheek. “This might not be forever. Just until we can get it fixed.”

  She took a step back out of his reach. “Take your hands off of me.”

  He dropped his hands to his sides. “I’m only trying to help you.”

  “You have a funny way of showing it.” She squatted down by a box and flipped through the items. “I don’t understand why she kept all of this stuff.” She pulled out a book on container gardening. “We never planted flowers much less a vegetable garden. But this is the fourth book I’ve found.” She tossed it back into the box and leaned down to pick the box up. She struggled with the weight of it.

  Will hoisted it up for her and took it to the dumpster. “You don’t have to do all of this yourself, you know.”

  She gave a bitter chuckle. “I had help. Much good it did me today.”

  She continued through another couple boxes as he watched her. Finally, he hung his head. “I’m sorry.”

  “You were only doing your job.”

  The words sounded nice, but the way she had said job made it sound like a dirty word. Yes, he’d done his job but he hadn’t taken any joy in it. In fact, he regretted it at the moment.

  A white pickup truck with Etchason Construction on the panel pulled up to the curb, and Sam got out. He wasn’t tall but he was built, probably a result of his job. Will came forward and extended his hand. “I appreciate you coming out on a Saturday like this.”

  They shook hands. “No problem.” Sam turned to Suzy. “Let’s take a look and see what we have.”

  The three of them walked into the living room, and Sam pulled out a flashlight. He ran the light across the crack and frowned. He walked outside to view the foundation then went to his truck. From the back, he pulled out a ladder. Suzy stepped aside as he set it up to get a closer view of the crack and the wall by the front window.

  Will hoped he was wrong. He was hardly an expert on home construction, but he knew a problem when he saw it. Maybe Sam would tell him that he’d been mistaken and it wasn’t as serious as Will suspected. He’d gladly take the blame for being wrong and give the house back to Suzy. But the other man’s frown didn’t assure him.

  Sam got down from the ladder. “It’s like you thought, Will. The weight of the stuff that had been piled in front of the window shifted the support beams. The roof was then resting on the items rather than the beams. Removing all that means we don’t have the support, and the roof and front wall could collapse.”

  Shoot. He’d been hoping for better news. By the lost look in Suzy’s eyes, so had she. “Can it be fixed?”

  “Well, that’s the good news. I could fix it.” Sam glanced up and squinted at the ceiling. “Adding materials and labor, I’d say between five to ten thousand dollars and at least a few weeks. More if we find other damage in the rest of the house. That’s the bad news.”

  Suzy groaned and turned away. Without looking back, she walked outside. Will shook the contractor’s hand. “Thanks. That’s what I’d feared. How quickly can you start?”

  Sam pulled out his phone and moved his finger along the surface. “I’m starting a job down state next week, but after that I’m available.”

  “I’ll call you. And thanks again.”

  “No problem.” Sam glanced outside where Suzy sat on the porch. “She going to be okay?”

  “I hope so.” But he really wasn’t sure how high those hopes were.

  * * *

  SAM WALKED BY her and stood on the sidewalk. “I wish my news had been better, ma’am.”

  “Me too. Thank you for coming out so soon.”

  Sam nodded, then got in his truck and gave a short wave before leaving. Will reappeared on the porch and looked down at her. “Let’s lock up.”

  She rose to her feet and once inside, checked to be sure that lights we
re turned off and everything was okay. She remembered her purse on the dining room table and removed her keys. She glanced around, wondered when or if she’d ever be able to return. Walked out and closed the door behind her. Locked it tight. “Don’t you have to post a sign or something saying the house isn’t safe to enter?”

  He winced. “I have some in my car.”

  Of course, he did. He was Mr. Efficient. “So just do it. Post the sign.”

  “Suzy, I never meant for this to happen.”

  But that was the problem, wasn’t it? Her dad had never meant to leave her. Mama had never meant to die. To leave her with this mess to deal with. She was used to people letting her down. She’d grown up with it. She had hoped that Will would be different. But he had turned out to be precisely like them. She was so naive. “I know. Just put the sign up.”

  He walked to his car and returned with a bright yellow sign. Used a black marker to date it and put her address on it. Then he taped it to the front door.

  No entry.

  He sighed as he placed the last piece of scotch tape on the sign and stepped back. “Are you going to be okay?”

  “Why do you care?”

  “Because you matter to me. You mean more to me than some job.”

  “But the job came first today, didn’t it?” Suzy shook her head. “Forget it.”

  “Your safety came first. But that meant making a hard choice, and I won’t apologize for that.” He put his hands on her upper arms and pulled her to him so that she had to look up at him. “If something had happened to you because I didn’t...I don’t want to think about finding you buried under a ton of rubble.”

  “I would have been fine. I’ve lived here all my life without any problems. Then you show up with your orders to clean up. And look what happened when we did.” She stepped away from him and started walking to her car. “Goodbye, Will.”

  “Are you working tonight?”

  She didn’t answer but got in her car. Once the engine was running, she turned the volume of the radio up so she wouldn’t have to hear him calling to her. She had to leave. To get out of there. Nothing would ever be the same after she drove away.

  And maybe that was for the best.

  * * *

  THE ATMOSPHERE AT the seniors’ home was hushed as Will approached his mother’s room. He could hear the faint sounds of people talking, televisions playing and the persistent beeps of machines monitoring residents. He paused outside her door then pushed inside. His mom lay on her side, her back to him. “Hey, Ma.” He stepped around the bed so she could see him and placed a hand on her foot. “How you feeling today?”

  She stopped reading and smiled at him. “Will, what are you doing here? I thought you were helping a friend this afternoon.”

  He claimed the chair next to the bed. “Seems like the more I try to help, the more I mess things up. I tried to save Tori’s marriage.” He ran a hand over his face. “You remember how that turned out? The buddy I tried to help when he got back from Iraq? Even trying to reach out to Carol and Joanie. But I really made a disaster of this one.”

  Ma set her book to the side and smiled warmly. “Now I know that’s not true. You’re a good man who always does your best.”

  “Well, my best is hurting my friend right now. Ma, I don’t know how to come back from this. I really don’t. I did what was right, but that means she’s homeless.”

  “She?”

  He knew he should have gone there. Should have kept it gender neutral, otherwise she would focus on Suzy and not the situation. “Ma, the point is that I did my best and that hurt my friend. I fix things. That’s who I am. I don’t make them worse.”

  “Maybe this isn’t for you to fix.” She shifted in the bed, wincing slightly then adjusted her blanket. “Maybe it’s up to you to simply be there for her. And help when she asks.”

  He sighed, then stood and walked to the window. “She probably won’t even be my friend anymore. So I guess I won’t have to wait for her to ask.”

  He closed his eyes. That’s what hurt the most.

  He turned back to Ma. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to come here and lay all this on you. You’ve got enough to deal with.”

  “I didn’t know the cancer made me stop being your mom.”

  “That’s not what I meant.” He took a few steps toward the bed. “I know you have a lot of stuff going on with you. I don’t want to add to your stress.”

  Ma shook her head and pulled on the blanket to cover her leg. “That’s something your father would say. He seemed to think that he had to protect me from everything. But instead, it made me feel alone.”

  Will stared at the floor and counted the tiles for a moment. He glanced back up. “Dad was a hard man to love. Am I like that too?”

  “No.”

  Her answer came quick, but he wasn’t sure if he believed it. “Because sometimes I feel that way. Why else am I alone?”

  “You’ve been concentrating on bettering yourself.” Will was skeptical and it must have shown on his face because she grinned knowingly. “Yes, that’s what I’ve been telling myself. That you can’t exactly provide for a family until you have a stable job and are happy with yourself. I think that’s commendable, and so would your father.”

  “Oh, sure. He’d actually be telling me that I haven’t been living up to what he expected from me.”

  His mom didn’t say anything at first, and his heart sank much like it had when he’d brought home his report card with all A’s and one B. Didn’t matter that everything else was perfect. It was the B that would get commented on. Scolded for. And eventually held over his head until he felt as if he’d failed everything. He shook his head in an attempt to shake loose those memories, those feelings.

  He again took a seat in the chair next to the bed. Will thought his mom might as well know the rest. “I’ll find out soon if the council is keeping my job.”

  His mom exclaimed, “Oh, honey. Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “Because we were dealing with enough things around here.” He looked down at his hands. “So I’m not the man my father wanted me to be.”

  “You’re wrong. You’re exactly what he hoped for.”

  He gave her a look that he hoped showed that he didn’t believe her. “Ma...”

  “He wanted you to help others. To be strong for your family. And to be a man of integrity. And that’s exactly what you are. You’re a good man.”

  How much his mother’s words meant to him surprised him. “Thanks, Ma. That means a lot. Especially after today.”

  “You did what you had to do. I know that. And your friend probably does too.”“I hope you’re right.”

  * * *

  WILL SHOULD NEVER have kicked her out of her house. He’d been wrong, so wrong. It wasn’t a danger. It wouldn’t have collapsed. Right?

  It was the uncertainty that hurt the most. Uncertain if he’d done the right thing. If she could have stayed. If things could have been different.

  Suzy pulled her car to the curb in front of Presley’s townhouse and turned off the engine. She rested her head on the steering wheel and took a deep breath. It felt worse than before and she hadn’t thought that was possible. A few breaths later, she got out of the car and approached the house.

  Pres met her at the front door. “How are you doing?”

  “Fine.” She walked past her friend and into the living room. “I went for a drive to clear my head.”

  “Did it help?”

  Suzy shrugged. Not really, but it hadn’t hurt either. She glanced around the room and spied her suitcase sitting at the bottom of the stairs. She reached for it and turned to Pres. “Where would you like me?”

  They took the stairs and turned right. Pres held the door open for Suzy who pulled her suitcase in and placed it at the end of th
e unmade bed. At least there was a bed in here. Last time she’d been over, it’d been a room full of painting supplies. Pres left then returned with a set of sheets. “Sorry I didn’t get the bed made before you got here.”

  “It’s fine. I wasn’t expecting you to play my maid.” She took the sheets and started to unfold them. She struggled with the fitted sheet until Pres gave her a hand. Within minutes, the bed was made and had four pillows that invited Suzy to lie down and enjoy them. “This is great. Thanks for letting me stay.”

  Presley put a hand on her shoulder. “Are you really okay?”

  “Fine.” She gave an exaggerated yawn. “I think I’ll turn in.”

  “It’s nine o’clock.”

  “It’s been a long day.” She held the bedroom door open for Pres. “Good night. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Presley took a few steps, but stopped. “So that’s it? You’re shutting me out?”

  “I can’t talk about this.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I don’t know what to say.” Suzy refused to let the tears fall. “I thought I’d be sleeping in my own bed in a clean house tonight. I thought I’d have all this weight off my shoulders. That cleaning the house was going to solve my problems.” She sighed. “Instead, it gives me a whole new set of issues that I don’t know what to do with.”

  Pres sat on the bed. “What did the engineer say?”

  “That it’s going to cost money that I don’t have. My credit is shot. I forgot to pay the insurance on the house, and it’s lapsed. My credit cards can’t handle another purchase. Could I even qualify for a loan?” Suzy sighed again and sat on the edge of the bed so that she didn’t have to face Pres. “I might as well let the town take it.”

  “You can’t. You sound like you’ve given up before you’ve even tried.”

  Oh yes, she could. Hand the keys over and wave goodbye. “Why not? Maybe it would be better.”

  “For who? You’ll regret it if you don’t do something.”

  Suzy didn’t have the energy. “Maybe at first.”

  “I know you. You love that house more than you want to admit. Otherwise, you would have let it go before now.”