Second Chance: A New Adult Step-Sibling

by H. Lane

  But something has happened. What if this is my only shot to ever be with him? What if I waste my first kiss on someone else? Will I regret it for the rest of my life?

  Amanda nudged Sam in the ribs with her elbow. “You going through with it?”

  “She won’t,” Hannah said, smirking. “It’s her brother – it’d be totally wrong to kiss him.”

  Jeanette pursed her lips. “Well, stepbrother. It’s not illegal or anything, I think. Just a little gross.”

  Sam cringed. Thanks, Jeanie.

  “And he’s not bad looking or anything,” Marlene murmured.

  Oh god shut up all of you.

  Amanda narrowed her eyes, skepticism dominant over hostility. “You OK, Sam?”

  Sam’s frustrations flared inside her. How can I be OK? I’m a freak for wanting to kiss my brother and hoping he does something stupid like kiss me back when my friends are watching. That’s the exact opposite of “OK”!

  Hannah held up her hand and pulled down a finger. “Clock is ticking, Sam—“

  “I’ll do it,” Sam said.

  Sam’s body burned from her friend’s wide-eyed stares and the inner turmoil that roiled inside her. The small objecting voice inside her had turned into raging shouts, but she wasn’t going to let it stop her now. She wanted to kiss Jason, even if it was only the palest fragment of what her fervent delirious fantasies demanded. Doing so through the dare might end up being the only chance for her to do so in her entire life; she couldn’t reject the chance no matter what her objections and inner conflict.

  “You sure you want to do this?” Amanda asked, still bearing her skeptical question. “I mean, it’s kind of gross. No one’s gonna blame you for welching out, and you can put a band-aid over your shaved eyebrow and say it’s burned or something.”

  No, I’ll just blame myself for missing the opportunity.

  “It’s nothing,” Sam said, standing. “I mean, I’m not like that one creepy chick on HBO.”

  I’m worse because I’m real.

  “I’m getting this bet over with, and then we’re done with this dumb game.”

  But will I be done with this?

  Every step Sam took added another millstone around her neck. Her mind was a chaotic jumble of thoughts, wondering if her choice of denim shorts and a black t-shirt were appropriate one moment and panicking at Jason’s possible response the next. Worst of all was her desires, her needs – they were in shambles, waging a full war against her revulsion.

  She felt her friend’s eyes on her back as she entered the TV room. Jason was on the couch, violent and colorful images dancing across his face in the darkness. It took her a moment to realize he was shirtless, toned muscles as obvious as the look of concentration on his face. Sam bit her lip as she mused what it would be like to be on the receiving end of such intense concentration.

  I’m messed up.

  Sam shook her head. Just get this over with.

  Despite her choice of clothes she was hot in the cool basement, a current keeping every inch of her skin excited. The soles of her bare feet tingled as she walked across the carpet. Part of the nervous energy released itself when she sat down besides Jason and made her flush, but a new wave rushed from her center to the rest of her body when he paused his game and set his controller aside.

  “Something up?” he asked.

  “Nothing much,” Sam replied, voice feeling hoarse. “Just need you to do something real quick.”

  His eyes met hers. Sam’s earlier wish to feel his attention was fulfilled and replaced in a moment with a new one – to feel his body with all the intensity he was giving her now. God I’m such a freak.

  “What kind of thing?” Jason asked. “You need me to get you something from the store?”

  Oh God how am I supposed to do this?

  Sam shook her head. “N-no.”

  “So what do you need?”

  You.

  She grabbed his stubble-covered cheeks and pulled them together. His eyes shot open, but she closed hers as she pressed her lips against his. The physical contact between them was minimal, but the sensations that traveled between them hit Sam like an explosion. Her heart stopped and she felt as if she were falling, but the pit in her stomach combined and multiplied her tension and excitement, a spiral of excitement that wracked her like a storm. She couldn’t stand the sensation but the thought of living without it was inconceivable.

  The new brilliant and invasive feeling met her revulsion, but instead of negating her worries they multiplied. What she was doing was wrong; her desires were shameful, and she was worse for wanting to dwell in them. Jason’s soft lips and warm skin were anathema, repulsing her. As much as she thought she couldn’t live without her excitement, she knew that living with it would only make her hate everything about herself.

  Sam pulled away and half-fell off the couch in her haste. Wincing, she opened her eyes and found herself looking up at Jason. Still sitting down, shock was clearer on his face than the sun, sweat glistening on his brow and sliding down to his bare chest.

  Her heart fissured when she realized Jason wasn’t angry. When her eyes fell to his pants and the tent that proudly stood there, she almost died. There was no mistaking it for anything but a boner.

  He’s not mad and he got a boner from me.

  Regaining her balance, Sam rushed out of the room before Jason could speak or her thoughts could tempt her into more.

  Chapter 7

  * * * Present Day * * *

  “The car’s broken,” Sam said.

  Jason raised an eyebrow as he returned to the drivers seat. “What did you do?”

  Sam snorted and pointed at the air conditioner. “I think the thing’s been busted for the entire trip – it’s a sauna in here.”

  “Maybe it’s just me.”

  She growled. “How the hell can you stand it?”

  Jason glanced at Sam from the corner of his eyes. Her hair was plastered to her brow, and her blouse was molded to her chest. She didn’t have the biggest breasts he’d ever seen or touched, but they were the perfect size to caress and squeeze. Just imagining her naked made him hard; he had to think back to the road kill they’d passed earlier to keep himself under her control.

  Fuck, keep your head in the game, man.

  “I never really noticed it,” he said after a moment. “But there are ways to cool off.”

  “Like what?”

  Jason pulled his t-shirt off and tossed it into the backseat. “Going shirtless is nature’s way of keeping cool and being hot.”

  Sam’s lips curled and she hastily turned her head to face forward. “You’re a dork. And there’s no way I’m going topless.”

  “Why not?” Jason bit his lip as soon as the words left his mouth. What the fuck is wrong with me? I shouldn’t be encouraging her – I’m more disciplined than this.

  “Because, I don’t know, I’ll be topless?”

  “I didn’t say go bra-less,” he muttered.

  “And I’m not going to give every trucker from here to Hartford a free look.”

  Jason shrugged. “Maybe we can figure out a way to charge them.” He was unable to conceal his wince when she socked his arm. “If you’re that upset up just wearing a bra, then put on your swimsuit.”

  Sam glared at him. “You just want an excuse to get me shirtless.”

  Yes.

  He put the key into the ignition. “Then boil in your skin for the rest of the ride. Try not to stain the seat or throw a fit when you meet Julia smelling like a locker room.”

  “Fine,” Sam spat. “I’ll be right back.”

  Jason dropped his head as soon as she left the car. Stupid, stupid, stupid, he thought, punctuating every mental utterance by beating his brow against the wheel. What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I doing this?

  Even as he thought about the question, the answer came clear in his mind – loneliness. Between college and a part-time tattoo apprenticeship he barely
had time to himself, let alone attempting to start a relationship. The fight they’d had hurt; already reluctant about relationships, he’d become a virtual hermit since. Casual sex held no appeal; his friends joked about him having a drought, but he’d prefer dehydration to meaningless physical stimulation.

  Fuck me I’m pathetic.

  “That’s not a bad position for you,” Sam said. “Too bad you need to keep your head up the rest of time.”

  Jason lifted his head as his sister sat down in the car again. Her black bikini top covered a fair amount of skin but clung tight to her breasts and kept them firm. The valley of her cleavage was a sight to behold; he had to jerk his head away to keep himself from fantasizing about reaching over to untie the knot at the back of her neck and let them spill free.

  “Bad for you, maybe,” he said, gunning the ignition. “Most people would rather look at a pretty face instead of a horse one.”

  “How original. Did you think of that while I was changing, or did you ask a friend for it?”

  “All’s fair when I’m dealing with you, sis.”

  I just wish loving you were fairer.

  Sam sighed and put in her earphones. “Just drive. I don’t want to make Julia wait.”

  Jason pulled out of the rest stop and turned his head slightly to avoid even the chance of catching a glimpse of her. He tried to reassure himself that he was doing the right thing, but all he felt was pain at suppressing his urges.

  * * * Four Years Ago * * *

  “Thanks for letting me crash here,” Jason said.

  Peter nodded, pulling open his home’s front door and stepping aside to let Jason in. “No prob. Andy’s already working on the projector.”

  Jason shouldered his backpack and followed his taller friend deeper into his home. They came upon Andy, a shorter boy with glasses and black hair, in the middle of the room next to what looked like a movie projector. A screen was pulled down on the wall opposite of them.

  Andy lifted his head pushed his glasses up. “’Sup Jason.”

  “Hey,” Jason said, fist-bumping his friend before setting his backpack down. “Just getting away from weird shit.”

  Because I’m not sure I could stop myself if I stayed.

  Jason shook his head as he sat down on the sofa and sunk into the cushions. All he could do was sit in heated shock as Sam retreated back to her giggling friends. The heat and tension that had ripped through him when they’d kissed had rebounded on him in her absence. He’d never experienced such a strong urge, need, to find a release, even when he’d made out or watched porn.

  The revulsion that followed was equally strong. His stomach had churned as if he’d swallowed bricks. Sam was his younger sister. It didn’t matter that they didn’t share birth parents; they were close, and the thought of changing their relationship or more made him sick. The fear that he’d turn out like his biological father was also present – there was no way he could escape the bastard’s legacy.

  I’m not going to hurt Sam like he hurt Mom.

  After another cold shower and a night’s sleep, he’d scrawled a note for Sam and headed out. Time and distance would clear his mind and make it normal again. He’d do anything for a return to the status quo – any change with Sam was unacceptable.

  He massaged his temples with his right hand. Why did you have to do that, Sam?

  “Man, it must’ve been hell over there if you’re still crying about it,” Peter said, smirking. He punched Jason’s shoulder before taking a seat besides him. “If you want a shoulder to cry on, I’m always here for you.”

  Jason snorted and pushed his friend away. “Shut up, dude.”

  Andy picked up a game console and set it atop the projector. “So what happened at your place? Parents anniversary or some shit?”

  Peter shook his head. “Nah, something way worse – his sister’s birthday party.”

  “Shit,” Andy murmured. “That’s rough, dude.”

  Not as rough as leaving her in the morning like this. Jason forced himself to chuckle. “Yeah. I was drowning in all the estrogen there.”

  Peter nodded. “My sister was going on all about it – could barely shut up she was so excited.”

  “Glad I’m an only child,” Andy said. He connected several wires from the console to the projector. “OK, we’re good to go.”

  “Awesome. You brought the games, right Jay?”

  Jason nodded. As he reached down to his backpack his phone buzzed in his pocket. His throat went dry when he pulled it out and saw that it was Sam who was calling him. Shit, what do I do?

  “You’re looking at the phone like it’s gonna kill you,” Peter said.

  It’d be easier to deal with than this. “Something like that,” Jason said. He hefted his backpack and handed it to Peter. “I gotta take this, I’ll be right back.”

  He walked out of the room and into the hallway before putting the phone to his ear. OK, take it easy. She probably just kissed me because her stupid friends told her. No need to throw a fit over it.

  “Yeah?” he muttered after hitting the “call” button.

  “Hey,” Sam said. She sounded more breathless than after one of their mother’s karate drill sessions. “You aren’t home right now.”

  Jason tried and failed to swallow the lump that had formed in his dry throat. “Didn’t want more weird shit like last night.”

  I can’t have more of that, no matter what you do or how you act.

  Sam exhaled a quick breath. “I’m really sorry about that, really. I wouldn’t have normally done it—“

  “You mean you’re not gonna make a habit of it?”

  She chuckled. Her calm voice sent a wave of calm through Jason, the first true refuge he had since last night. A tiny part of him grew angry at her mirth, but he shoved it aside. Sam was just laughing at his joke, the same thing she’d done a thousand times before. This time wasn’t any different.

  Except that she kissed me and I liked it.

  “Well, no,” Sam said. “I mean, I got dared to do it.”

  Jason leaned against the wall. “Yeah, I figured. You and your friends take that kind of thing too seriously, you know that?”

  “I bet you wouldn’t have minded if it was Hannah that was kissing you.”

  “Why would I like it more?” Jason winced. So fucking stupid. “I mean, why would I like it if one of your friends did it?”

  His heart skipped a beat when she took a deep breath. “I dunno,” she murmured. “Maybe ‘cause she’s not your sister?”

  “Nah, she’s my sister’s friend, which is just as bad.”

  Sam let out a nervous laugh. “Jerk.”

  “I’m your brother, I’m contractually obligated to make fun of my baby sister.”

  “Listen, I just wanted to say I was sorry for doing that. I know it probably freaked you out when I did it, and I totally got back at Hannah for it. Let’s just say she’s going to sit with a wince for awhile.”

  You never need to apologize for anything to me, Sam. Jason straightened and puffed out his chest as if she were there in front of him. “Yeah, you totally freaked me out. Girls are yucky and all that.”

  “Hey, I’m serious!”

  Jason laughed. “It’s cool. We’re still friends, right?”

  “Uh, duh?”

  “Then we’re good,” Jason said. “Just warn me next time, OK?”

  “Yeah, sure thing. Not that there’s going to be a next time,” Sam added quickly.

  Heaviness bore down on his heart alongside relief. It’s for the best. “OK then,” Jason said. “Talk to you later?”

  “Yeah. I’ll save some pizza for you.”

  “Damn straight you will,” Jason said. “Later.”

  “Later.”

  Jason let the hand carrying the phone drop to the side as he slumped against the wall. Exhaling a breath he hadn’t known he was holding, his eyes found a distant point on the ceiling. The issue was over, b
ut he couldn’t shake the image he had of Sam in her bikini, or the softness of her hands and lips. Instead of relief that everything had been patched up with Sam, he was unable to shake the feeling that he’d overlooked something.

  What am I missing here?

  Chapter 8

  * * * Present Day * * *

  “Sign ahead,” Jason said.

  Sam lifted her head. A large green sign on the side of the road reading “Hartford: 56” flew past as Jason rounded the curve. “That means we’re about an hour out?”

  “About, give or take traffic.”

  “I’ll text Julia. Hope you like Italian, because I’m starving.”

  She braced herself for a cruel rejoinder, staring at Jason from the corner of her eyes in anticipation. It wasn’t easy to keep herself prepared for the worst. Despite their animosity, Jason’s face was still that of the brother she’d loved and cherished friend; his perfectly shaped jaw and relaxed stance didn’t hurt, nor did his bare chest.

  “You keep staring and you’ll burn a hole in me,” he said without taking his focus from the road.

  “I wasn’t staring at you,” she muttered.

  Her eyes dropped to his right bicep; she’d avoided looking at him since he’d taken off his shirt and hadn’t seen his new tattoo. An array of wild vines encircling his arm, its color and shading were flawless, matching natural colors perfectly. Small roses bloomed from the buds, and in the center of each was a small medallion with five blossom petals in the center, his mother’s family crest. On any other man it might’ve looked feminine, but Jason’s rippling musculature made the display wild and untamed.

  “That a new tattoo?” Sam asked.

  Jason nodded. “Designed it myself, and Val inked it.”

  “Who’s Val?”

  “Girl I work with at the tattoo shop. Inked, crazy, likes heavy metal.”

  Sam shifted in her seat as a tightness struck her chest, like her skeleton had contracted on her organs. “I guess you like her.”