by H. Lane
Julia nodded. “As long as you get to know the professors here, it’s difficult to have a shit time in their classes. I don’t think I’ve had a single really horrible time since I got here.”
The Student Center came into view as they crossed the bridge. A large building atop several flights of steps, the walls of its first two floors were made of glass. Students ate, studied, and talked within the center, while more played an intense Frisbee game in the front. Near the top of the steps was a small group beneath a large banner reading “Welcome Week” handing out brochures over tables full of Hartford shirts and notebooks.
“I’m thinking you could get something for your brother,” Julia said as she walked with Sam up the steps. “He’s still into art, so maybe a new sketchpad or something?”
Sam pursed her lips. “Why do I need to get him anything?”
“It’s not like he’s having a lot of fun here. Just be a nice olive branch, you know?”
“I don’t need, or want, to make up with him,” Sam replied. Just dig the truth out of him. “If he’s having a miserable time here it’s his own damn fault for snitching on me in the first place. I wouldn’t need him as a babysitter if he hadn’t.”
“You’re still mad at him for that after all this time?” Julia asked.
If you knew what he did to me, you’d be too. “It’s complicated, OK?”
“Sure,” Julia said. “Just forget I said anything, OK?”
The two wove through the crowds inside the center and made their way to the food court. Franchises dominated the large space, although Sam decided on buying a meal from a small Chinese restaurant that looked to be family-owned. Once she’d received her food she and Julia managed to take a table in the corner of the seating area as its previous occupants were just leaving.
“How are you looking on scholarships?” Julia asked. “Hartford isn’t a ‘parents take on a new mortgage for each semester’ college, but it’s still pricey.”
Sam took a sip of her green tea; she’d picked up her love of it from Haruka and had never looked back. “It’s good. Family is still doing well, and I’ve already gotten a few acceptances.”
Julia nodded. “And you’re ready to finish high school?”
“In every sense of the goddamn word,” Sam said, sighing. “There are some teachers I like, and I’m going to miss Amanda and Jeanie and everyone else, but it got old at the end of the first day.”
“You might end up missing it.”
“Doubtful.”
Julia laughed. “OK, maybe not high school, but the other stuff. Living away from your parents can be rough, and having to learn about a new scene can make things tougher at first.”
“At first,” Sam said. “But I’ll land on my feet and kick ass.”
“Sure.” Julia bit into her burrito and almost turned green. “This doesn’t taste like food,” she said, standing. “I’m getting something else.”
Sam turned her head to look out the window. Julia was right about the difficulties leaving home, but that wasn’t a surprise; she had always been smart. Although she knew on some level that the change to her life would be vast, it had yet to truly impact her thought process. She thought she was ready, but wouldn’t know for sure until the moment came upon her.
Kind of like what I’m doing with Jason.
She chewed her food and leaned back into her chair. What do I want to do with him after I dig the truth out of him? Kick him when he’s down? Spit in his face and leave?
Her father had told her that whenever he set to work on a composition he established what he wanted the audience to feel when they listened to it. She had an endgame for her confrontation with Jason, but no greater plan beyond that. Was there a point to learning the truth of his affections?
Sam clenched her jaw. I need him to admit the truth and the reason why he lied if he did. He needs to have himself dragged out to face up to what he did to me – there’s no other way I’ll be able to move on from him. It doesn’t matter what he says or does - once I know, I can cast him aside and get on with my life.
Julia sat down at the table, a small pizza in hand. “So far I think I have a worse record with the food court than with the classes here.”
Sam chuckled, thoughts still on her goal. “Still better than the high school cafeteria.” She grabbed a piece of chicken with her chopsticks and plopped it into her mouth. “I was thinking about what you said earlier. The center has a student store to buy stuff, right?”
Chapter 15
Jason arched his eyebrows upon reading the messages on his phone’s screen. During the brief nap he’d taken in his car Peter and Andy had engaged in a series of group texts that quickly degraded into a full-on argument. He hadn’t seen his friends argue this much since they were choosing new gaming consoles. The fear of them breaking up their old circle loomed as he typed his reply.
The new guy playing Spider-Man is better than the guy in Amazing, but it’s too soon to tell if he’s as good as McGuire in 1 and 2. Calm your tits and stop texting in all caps.
Their replies came fast. Peter denounced him for abandoning The Amazing Spider-Man series, while Andy criticized him for daring to believe that the new Spider-Man could ever equal McGuire’s performance in the first trilogy. Jason sighed and pocketed his phone as it buzzed and vibrated.
“I need new friends,” he muttered.
The trunk slamming shut jostled his car. He looked up just as Sam opened the door and climbed in, holding a brown paper bag to her chest. Jason looked away quickly – whatever she was holding was doing a good job of accentuating her breasts. Not that she needed to do anything to make them more prominent in his eyes.
Fuck, get it together.
“Hey,” Sam said.
Jason nodded to her. “Going somewhere special or headed back to the hotel?”
“Hotel. Julia’s got some homework and I don’t feel like bothering her.”
Time to be an asshole. “So you’re going to bug me instead?”
Sam laughed. “I’m your sister. It’s my job, right?”
“Dunno about it being a job, but you’ve got a natural talent for it,” Jason replied.
“Thanks,” she said, winking.
Jason glanced at her from the corner of his eyes. There wasn’t an ounce of rancor on her face; her expression was as light as morning sunlight. The hell?
Sam ran a hand over her face. “There something on me?”
“No,” he muttered.
He started the car and drove back to the hotel. Sam talked about her day, raving about how Hartford’s facilities were better than any of the ones she’d seen at other colleges. Julia was a frequent topic as well, in addition to the classes. She wasn’t the least bit impinged at the lack of response and conversation from him, speaking enough for both of them.
What the hell is up with her? She hasn’t talked to me this much without insulting me since before we fought. Is she trying to knock me off my guard or something?
“Hey, you need to turn here,” Sam said.
Jason did as she said, swerving into the exit toward the hotel and inviting a honk and rude gesture from the driver behind them. “I would’ve gotten it.”
She shrugged and leaned back into her seat. “OK.”
“That’s it? No insults, no bitching about how I screwed up, or how I’m messing up your perfect little trip so far?”
Sam narrowed her gaze. “Do you want me to say that stuff to you? Because I can if you really want me to.”
Jason let out an irritated sound in his throat, his full attention back on the road. I can’t overreact to whatever shit she’s trying with me. Playing it the same way as the past few years is the best option for both of us. Anything else will be a mistake.
Once they arrived at the hotel they headed to their room. They both remained quiet, but Jason continued to glance at the bag Sam was holding. It shouldn’t have bothered him, but his sister’s new attitude heightened th
e tension that pulsed through him like a low tide.
What’s she planning on doing?
Sam stepped in front of him when they entered their room. She pulled out a large, leather-bound sketchbook with the Hartford logo on its cover from the brown bag and shoved it into his hands. “It’s yours.”
Jason fumbled and almost dropped the sketchbook. Raising an eyebrow, he undid the brass lock on its side and opened it. Its pages were white, unlined linen, perfect for quick sketches or more detailed drawings. “What’s this for?”
“Do I need a reason to give something nice to my favorite brother?”
“I’m your only brother,” Jason replied.
Sam shrugged. “Well, you’re my least favorite brother too, then.” She walked past him and headed toward her suite. “Have fun with it.”
Jason clenched his teeth as he watched Sam swagger away. Anger flashed inside him when he looked down at the sketchbook; he tossed it at his bed a moment later. Sam was trying to play him like he was her violin, and although he knew she’d never succeed, she seemed to be filled with as much confidence.
Who does she think she is trying to fuck with my head? I’m trying to do everything I can to help her, and this is what I get – her going all Game of Thrones on me? Fuck this shit.
Jason exhaled a sharp breath when he became fully aware of the arrogance his thoughts exuded. He had no right to be angry with Sam or to think such things; she’d never asked for his ‘help’ and he’d never given another thought to whether she wanted it. It didn’t matter that his decision was the right one to make – in the end he had still ended up hurting her. If she wanted to play at manipulation for whatever reason he had no grounds to object.
Fuck me, I’m worse than dad. Here I am trying to justify being a complete asshole to Sam. At least he was upfront about being a rude arrogant douche bag.
He went to the bed and sat down, burying his face in his hands. No matter what, though, I can’t change what I’ve done. Even if I ended up hurting Sam, I was doing it for the right reasons and her best interests. Nothing else matters except what’s best for her.
Jason spotted the sketchbook she’d gifted him through the cracks in his hands. It was the first gift he’d received from her that hadn’t been forced by holidays or birthdays in three years. Before their argument, gifts and favors between them had been common and happily given – the sketchbook was a ray of painful light in the dark desert that had settled between them.
What are you trying to do, Sam?
* * * *
Jason had just come out from the shower following his morning workout when a knock came from the hotel room door. Opening it revealed a woman in the hotel’s uniform with a cart and several covered plates. “Room service,” she said.
“I didn’t order anything,” Jason said.
The woman looked down at the receipt and then to the room number. “We received the order from this hotel room, sir.”
“It’s fine, Jason,” Sam said from behind him.
He stood aside as Sam, clad in a black velvet hotel robe and her hair wrapped in a towel, handed the woman several bills. “Thanks, and sorry for the mix-up,” Sam said, smiling. She pulled the cart in and closed the door. “I thought you’d be hungry after working out. I am.”
Jason crossed his arms. “Did Mom say you could order room service?”
Sam pulled the cover off a plate, revealing pancakes with two scoops of ice cream and scrambled eggs. “And if I she didn’t?”
“I’ll—“
She laughed and pulled the cart to the table. “She said a treat was OK. Try to relax and have a little fun, Jason.”
“You’ll have to excuse me for taking your indulgences with a grain of salt.”
A frown creased Sam’s lips as she sat down and put the uncovered plate on the table. “Well, there’s a whole shaker over there if you want more than a grain,” she said, smirking and motioning to the cart.
Jason sighed, but his empty stomach and smell of hot food played a bigger role in his irritation than Sam. He pulled off the cover on another plate and had to suppress the urge to dig in immediately with his hands. A massive omelet dominated the plate, with sausage and bacon atop its surface. Salad rounded out the mouth-watering meal.
“It’s a tuna omelet,” Sam said between bites from her pancakes. “That OK?”
“Yeah,” Jason replied. He sat down across from her, taking the plate and shoveling food into his mouth as if it were his last meal. “Thanks.”
Sam dipped her finger into a small pool of syrup on her plate and licked it off. Jason did his best to pay attention to his food, but even his massive appetite wasn’t enough to distract him from the quick flicks of her tongue, or the long gaze she fixed on him while doing so. He nearly choked when she sucked her fingertip and released it from her mouth with a slight ‘pop’.
“You’ve always been easy,” she said.
Jason swallowed a chunk of his omelet and glared at Sam. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just what you like to sink your teeth into.” Sam wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Your tastes haven’t really changed that much. With one or two exceptions.”
“There’s nothing wrong with keeping the same tastes,” he said.
“So they haven’t changed at all?”
Jason chewed on a strip of bacon. Is she trying to get me to talk more about liking her? He swallowed the meat but was unable to stomach the mistake he made yesterday admitting to Sam he’d once been attracted to her. Can I lie again? Should I?
“Nothing stays the same,” Jason replied. “And like you said, I’ve made an exception here and there.”
Sam took a spoonful of ice cream and raised it to her lips. “Like what?”
“Why the interest in me all of a sudden?” Jason asked. “I could’ve crashed yesterday and the biggest thing you’d have missed is the ride to Hartford.”
She ate her ice cream and shrugged. “I could tell you, but I’m not sure you’d believe me. Or care.”
“I asked. That should show something.”
Sam put her spoon down. “Something Julia said to me yesterday struck a chord. My life is going to change in a few months forever. I want to make my peace with the issues in my life right now before they become too distant for me to change.”
Jason leaned back against his chair. So I’m still an “issue” for her. “That’s it? You just want to get to know me better?”
“You make it sound like a small thing,” Sam said.
“It’s not on-par with climbing Everest.”
Sam snorted. “I think that would’ve been easier.”
“We’re siblings,” Jason said. “You don’t know me well enough through that?”
“The way you make it sound kind of proves my point, big brother.”
If she’s trying to figure out why I became such a bastard to her, does that mean she’s still interested in me? Or does she really only want some closure? What the hell am I supposed to do?
Jason forced himself to shrug despite the piano-wire strength tension strung through his shoulders. “I can’t help it that I’m casual.”
Sam laughed. “You, casual?”
“What’s so funny about that?”
“You spent an entire day remaking an entire painting because I told you that the shadows were a little off,” Sam said, still chuckling. “Yeah, I get that you can chill out, but you’re not what I’d call a ‘casual’ guy.”
Jason looked away, cheeks heating. “What’s important enough about knowing me that’s worth breaking a year of bitchdom over?”
Sam smiled and stood. “Good question. What is worth that?”
She winked and made her way to her suite. Jason continued to sit, but was being torn apart in a dozen directions internally. His indecision was killing him, and the only thing he knew was that it was entirely his fault for being put in this position. Lying hadn’t given him anything but a broken r
elationship with the girl he loved, and as much as he tried to justify it, it was proving difficult to hold that conviction in his heart and soul.
Things need to change. Soon.
Chapter 16
Julia motioned to her dorm with an outspread arm. A wide-open area with hardwood floors, clothes and books covered most available surfaces. The kitchen was modern with more chrome than a sports car dealership, although dirty dishes and open containers of dry food detracted from the décor. Multiple doorways around the main hub led to smaller rooms; judging from their space and clutter it was obvious that space was at a premium. “So, what do you think?”
Sam pursed her lips. “I think you’re lucky to have found other people willing to put up with your mess.”
She laughed and quickly dodged away from Julia’s shove, nearly tripping over a small mountain of shoes in the process. After clearing away textbooks from an easy chair she collapsed onto it, leaning back and putting her legs up. “Seriously though, this is a pretty cool place.”
“Yeah, it is,” Julia said. She took a seat on the couch and put her feet up on a thick stack of physics textbooks. “The building used to be an old warehouse on the edge of the campus when Hartford first started. When it began to expand and started accepting more people, they bought it and turned it into a dorm.”
“Nice.” Sam rapped her knuckles against the walls. “How’s the sound here?”
Julia grimaced. “One bad thing about the place is that the walls are freaking thin. So if your neighbor decides to have a two-person party at night, you’re hearing all about it.” She shook her head. “And yes, I’m speaking from personal experience.”
Sam wrinkled her nose. “Pertinent, but I was thinking more about practicing.”
“There’s no rule against it, but you’ll probably want to time it around your roomies schedules. The RA’s here are usually good, but they give in to the uncivilized masses waaaaay too easily.”