by Skylar Cross
"What's wrong, Kiri?" he said.
"Nothing," I said. "Nothing at all."
"Did you call the bank?"
"Yes."
I fumbled for my makeup and the casual clothes I picked from the walk-in closet back at Bay Towers in Boston.
"What did they say?" he said.
Shit, how do I handle this? He must know they told me about the robbery.
"The bank was robbed last night," I said, tears welling in my eyes. "Everyone is very upset."
There was a long pause. He seemed to stare off into infinity as I got what I needed and headed toward the bathroom.
"I'm sorry, Kiri," he said and took a step toward me. "After breakfast we'll head home."
"Fine," I said.
Shit, he's moving closer to me to hug me.
I backed up instinctually. I can't let him touch me right now.
"Kiri, what's wrong?" he said. "There's something else."
"Look, I'm fine," I said. "Just leave me alone. I need to get in the shower."
"I know it's been a crazy day for you, Kiri, but I promise it's going to be all right."
"Great. Sure."
"Kiri, I know it must be traumatic for you to be remembering these things so suddenly. But I know a great therapist who can really help you with this. And I want you to know I'm there with you, on your side, by your side. I'll help you through every moment of it."
At that, I looked him in the eyes. I truly believed him. I felt an enormous sincerity and caring.
All I wanted to do was throw myself into his arms and allow our love to wrap us in its warm embrace.
But I can't do that.
Not right now.
I need answers.
"I'm just going to get in the shower," I said, "and then I'm going to come down for breakfast, okay?"
"Sure," he said.
He kept looking at me as I entered the bathroom and shut the door.
I looked at myself in the mirror. I saw a very scared little girl staring back at me.
I looked at myself in the small mirror in the tiny stateroom on the sailboat. The nice lady had cleaned up my face and tied my black hair up in ponytails with big pink barrettes.
She put her face with her red hair next to mine. Her roots were white.
"Now, don't you feel pretty?" she said.
I just stared into the mirror. The expression that reflected back at me was blank. Lifeless.
"Once we get into port," she said, "we're going to get you some pretty clothes. Won't that be fun?"
I didn't say anything.
"It will be fun," she went on. "You'll see. They have all kinds of little stores there. I bet you'd like a pretty doll."
I didn't speak. I just stared.
The nice lady with red hair caressed my neck and kissed my cheek.
"You're going to be okay, Kiri," she said.
The Plaza Hotel came back.
Shit, these fucking flashbacks are intense when they hit. It's like everything around me disappears and I lose my breath. So real. I can smell the humid air tinged with salty seawater and feel the rolling motion of the waves.
I put both my hands on the fancy sink and took a few deep breaths.
Who was the nice lady with red hair? Was that her sailboat I was on? It must have been. It was definitely a different boat than the one that sank.
I forced myself to focus on the here and now. Priority one right now is getting the fuck out of here.
As I showered, I made a plan.
I'm going to go downstairs with my purse. I'll act as normal as I can and eat breakfast with Caden. If he questions me, I'll just say I'm upset about what happened at the bank.
But he's going to try to touch me. I can't touch him today. I can't allow him to get to me today.
It's going to be very hard to do this. Last night, I thought I was in love with the guy.
Today I'm not so sure.
But he did save my life once!
Oh God, I'm so confused. I have to get out of here.
I need to talk to my mom.
Chapter 2
"Well, it's about time," said Caden, putting down a pink-tinted copy of The Financial Times. "I waited for you."
"Oh good," I said. "I was hoping you would."
I sat at the small but elegant dining table where Caden had set up two plates.
He stood up, lifted the tray lid, and said, "Help yourself."
I picked a slice of bacon, some eggs, some hash browns, and toast. Caden put a little of everything on his own plate. He poured some coffee into two mugs.
We ate mostly in silence. I couldn't seem to bring myself to look at him. I know the power he has over me and I can't let him get to me this morning.
At one point, he reached over the table and touched my hand. I felt an overwhelming warmth and strength. Not to mention another launch sequence from down below. Damn, it's like he fucking controls me.
No, Kiri. Not today. Stay in control.
Once we were done eating, Caden took the plates and stacked them on the cart. I felt him staring at me.
"I know it's been a whirlwind twenty-four hours," he said, "but once we get back to Boston we'll get you settled and then we'll take things slower."
Settled? Does he really assume I'm just moving in with him now?
He talks to me like I'm his property, like he's going to make all my decisions for me. I don't like that. I'm a strong woman. I don't need some man to tell me what to do.
But another more primal part of me jumps with excitement at the idea of being "settled" with him. Following his commands. Pleasing him with my body and soul. Shit, what the fuck?
"I'm going to shower and then we'll go, okay?" he said.
"Okay," I said, as I moved quickly to the couch before he had a chance to touch me. I grabbed the remote and flipped the TV on. Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford flashed onto the screen sipping wine. "I'll just wait here."
He stared at me for another second and nodded. He knows something is up. But then he went up the stairs and into the bedroom.
I breathed again, not realizing that I hadn't been.
I reduced the volume on the TV so I could hear when his shower started. But the place was so well-built I heard nothing.
So I sneaked up to the top of the stairs and stuck my head in the bedroom. The bathroom door was closed and sure enough, I heard water flowing.
That's my cue.
My heart pounded in my ears as I walked swiftly down the stairs, grabbed my purse, and was out the door in a flash.
At the end of the hallway, I pressed the Down button and waited for the ornate gold dial to reach my floor. I looked at my watch. 9:32. The arrow on the ornate gold dial pointed at a number two floors above me.
Shit, come on!
I looked back down the hallway at the door to Caden's suite. No movement.
The golden arrow seemed to be stuck two floors above me. I felt sweat forming at my lower back.
I looked at my watch again. 9:33.
Then finally the arrow slowly moved. Thank God.
Ding!
The fancy bars of the elevator parted and I walked in. It was empty. I hit the Lobby button. As the doors closed, I fixed my stare at the door to Caden's Private Residence. When the doors were finally shut, I took a deep breath.
The elevator began its descent. It stopped at 9.
Shit. Don't stop! Get me out of this building!
A tall man in a tailored three-piece suit with gray hair and little round glasses got in the elevator with me.
Then the elevator began moving down again.
And stopped at 7.
Fuck! How many stops are we going to make?
I was sweating now. An elderly couple got in the elevator. The woman had red hair.
The elevator doors closed and I felt my stomach rise.
I felt my stomach rise as the boat jostled up and down. I felt sick like I was going to throw up. I started to cry again.
The nice lady w
ith red hair hugged me.
"It's okay, Kiri," she said. "It's just a storm. We'll be fine. This is a very strong sailboat and Jacques is an experienced sailor."
I just cried. I wanted my Mom and Dad.
The older man appeared at the door to the stateroom.
"Martine," he said, "may I speak with you a moment?"
The nice lady with red hair tucked me into the tiny bed and patted my forehead.
I couldn't hear their entire conversation over the noise of the boat as it smashed into the waves, but I caught snippets.
"... don't trust the boy..." said the man.
"... the girl is despondent..." said the nice lady with red hair. "...like she's in a trance..."
"... going to call authorities once we arrive in port... "
"... the poor thing needs help. I think she's in shock... we can't just hand her over to..."
Ding!
Everyone got out of the elevator except for me. I was pressed into the back wall, my hands on the bar, hyperventilating again.
The elderly couple held the door for me, but I didn't move.
The woman moved toward me and said, "Are you all right, dear?"
I felt control return. I peeled myself off the wall.
"Yes," I said. "I'm fine, thank you. I just... uh... hate elevators."
"Oh, I know exactly what you mean," said the woman. "My sister has claustrophobia and can't go near an elevator."
I stepped out onto the main floor with them and the elevator doors closed behind me.
"Thank you again," I said and moved toward the main exit.
As I reached the doors, my heart sank.
Two black cars screeched to a halt by the main entrance, followed by four NYPD cruisers with lights flashing. Four men in suits and sunglasses got out, running up the steps. Four of New York's finest came running behind them.
Shit, what should I do? Run?
As I reached the door, they ran past me and up to the desk. I kept going, forcing myself to not look back.
I went out the main entrance and turned left toward the Park. Three more cruisers showed up. I just kept my steady pace and soon I was across Fifth Avenue.
I'm not sure if I was breathing or not. All I know is my legs just kept me going.
Did the cops come for Caden? Or me? Or was it for a completely unrelated reason?
Whatever it was, I'm not going to find out.
I walked all the way to Lexington Avenue and turned left. It felt good to be free on the city streets, anonymous again in the mass of people.
At 63rd, I dropped down into the subway, paid for a MetroCard at one of the machines, shuffled through the turnstile, and went down to the platform.
As I waited for the F train, I felt vulnerable. I scanned the faces of everyone around me. I kept thinking I would see Caden running down the stairs.
I felt bad that I was just ditching him. But it needed to be done. I'm not sure if he's telling me the truth. While I feel like I can trust him completely, the facts don't add up.
Maybe I'm blinded by amazing sex. I can't trust myself right now. And I'm going a bit crazy. I need to see my mom.
After the longest wait I ever remember, the F train showed up and I stepped inside. I found a seat, joined by a Chinese woman with a meal in a Styrofoam container. As the train moved out of the station, she opened it and began eating what looked like fish with noodles. The aroma filled the subway car.
As the train crossed Roosevelt Island, I calmed down a little. I made it. I got away. I'm almost home.
On the ride to Queens, I did my deep breathing and centering. As I did so, flashes of the most recent memories popped into my head.
I allowed them in and observed them, letting them drift away while focusing on my deep breaths.
Eventually I was calm enough to ask myself some questions about the memories with a clear head.
Where was that hot place where the guards with guns took Caden away? It was hotter than normal summer heat. It was tropical hot.
I remember a nice lady with red hair who bought a teddy bear for me. She was very nice. She tucked me into bed during a storm at sea.
Caden told the man behind the desk in the squat building that we had come into port with Mr. and Mrs. Decoud. Is the nice lady with red hair Mrs. Decoud? Mr. and Mrs. Decoud must be the older couple who took care of me on the sailboat in the storm, right?
I remember Caden saving me from the sinking boat. That was earlier. Shit, I've got to get all this in order.
I remember Caden being taken away by the guards and I never saw him again. That was the last thing I remember.
That's it. That's all I've got.
Too many blank pieces.
The train stopped. I opened my eyes.
Shit, I went one stop past mine! That's okay. I'll just walk back a couple of blocks.
I got up and stepped out into the Kew Gardens station. I kept getting the feeling I was being followed, but as I scanned the faces all around me I saw nobody suspicious.
It was another bright beautiful spring day as I walked down Queens Boulevard. I crossed at the light and continued to 75th Street. I turned right and there was the home I knew.
Chapter 3
"Kiri!" said my mom when she opened the door. "Oh my god, you're here!"
I threw my arms around her. As I did, I felt tears welling up.
"I love you, Mom," I said.
"Oh my darling Kiri, you're here," she said. "I love you, my child."
We stayed hugging like that for about a minute. Then I closed the door behind me.
"You should go up and say hello to your grandparents and great-grandfather," she said.
"Yes," I said. "But can you and I talk alone first?"
"Yes, of course. Your father is at work. Jessica is shopping. What are you doing here, Kiri? The last I heard you were going out to dinner with a man."
I wiped the tears from my eyes.
"Yes," I said. "He took me to an art gallery in Manhattan after we ate."
"He took you to an art gallery in Manhattan? I thought you were in Boston."
"Yes, we were in Boston. He flew us here in his private jet."
"Private jet? Oh my, I'm beginning to like this man. I give you my permission to marry him immediately."
I laughed.
"I'm so happy you're here," she said and hugged me again. "Can you stay?"
"I have no plans at the moment," I said. "I'm not even sure if I work at the bank anymore. I'm not even sure I know my own name anymore."
At that her eyes squinted and she shook.
"Come have some tea," she said.
My mom hustled me into the kitchen where she made some green tea.
"Is everything okay, Kiri?" she said. "How did you get here?"
"I took the subway from Manhattan," I said. "I spent the night at the Plaza Hotel."
"The Plaza Hotel?"
"Yes, the man I was with has a Private Residence there."
"You must marry him tomorrow."
"Mom, I've been having these... flashbacks."
"Flashbacks? What kind of flashbacks?"
"Well, they're related to the man I've been seeing... Caden. Well, seeing is not the right word. He was a customer at the bank... but yesterday I spent the entire day at his place."
"I hope he didn't take advantage of you. Although I'm sure he did, seeing as you spent the night at the Plaza Hotel. I don't understand men."
Ha, how do I respond to that? Hmm, I'll just skip over it.
"Mom," I said, "I think I knew him from a long time ago."
She poured some green tea into the cups I grew up drinking from. God, it felt so good to be home. I sipped the tea.
"Go on," said my mom.
I took a deep breath. Time to lay it all out.
"Mom, you always told me I was adopted as a baby. This man says he knows for a fact I was adopted when I was five years old."