by Skylar Cross
My mom shook a little. She put her hand up to her mouth and stared at the table. She reached out for my hand. I gave it to her. We stayed like that for at least a good solid minute. Tears formed in her eyes.
"I'm sorry, Kiri," she said. "I never told you because you snapped out of it. You finally became a happy little girl and I didn't want you to go back. I wanted to keep you happy. So I lied."
"Snapped out of what?" I said.
"You were a very disturbed little girl. You were brought into the hospital by a nice older couple. You wouldn't speak. You just stared. Your big eyes just stared forever and ever. At nothing."
"The hospital where you work?"
"Yes."
My mom cleans on the night shift at a children's psychiatric hospital on the Upper East Side.
"I'm so sorry, Kiri," she said. "I should have told you. What kind of flashbacks are you having?"
"I'm on a sinking boat in one," I said. "A boy in a little dinghy rescues me. Then I'm on another boat, a sailboat, with an older couple. The lady has red hair and she bought me a teddy bear."
"Mrs. Decoud," said my mom. "She was indeed a very nice lady. Still is, in fact. She called a while ago to see how you were doing. Maybe about two years ago."
My heart leaped out of my chest.
"She called? She called here?" I said. "You still talk to her?"
"No, not regularly," said my mom. "But every couple of years or so she calls to check on you. She always thought it best that she not see you, seeing as you made a full recovery from whatever condition you were in. She didn't want to remind you of whatever it was you had been through. She lives on Fifth Avenue. She's in her eighties now. Her husband passed away about five years ago."
"Mr. Decoud," I said. "The man on the sailboat with her."
"Yes. I met him only once. Very distant and cold man. I don't know the details of where they found you. I think it was in Bora Bora or Pongo Pongo or one of those South Pacific places with the odd name. And somehow you had lost your parents."
The tears returned. My mom went to a kitchen drawer and pulled out a box of tissues. She brought them to the table, took one, and blew her nose.
"All I know is they brought in this little angel of a girl and I fell in love with her... with you. I would visit you in your hospital room and try to get you to talk. For the longest time, you wouldn't. You just kept staring at nothing. Staring and staring and staring. Then, magically, one night while I was trying to get you to play a game with me you started laughing. We couldn't believe it, Mrs. Decoud and I. We were so happy! Then you picked up the crayons that had sat there untouched for so long and you started coloring in the coloring books we had bought you. That's the moment I knew I had to do whatever it took to take care of you."
"So you adopted me?"
My mom put her hand up to her mouth and started to cry again. I got up and put my arm around her.
"It's okay, Mom," I said. "You don't have to tell me all the details."
"No, you need to know," she said. "I've been holding it in for too long and you're a grown woman now. You need to know. You see... I... we... your father and I... adopted you illegally."
"How did you do that?"
"Mrs. Decoud was so happy that you responded to me. You would only snap out of it when I came by. Not the nurses. Not the doctors. Only me. She didn't want anyone else to adopt you and the system here is so complicated that chances are you would have ended up with someone else. So she and her husband paid somebody off."
"Paid somebody off?"
"The Decouds are very wealthy. They gave cash to somebody. That's how they got you here in the first place. Your father and I named you Kiri Thanwarattanamangkul. Somehow a fake birth certificate was filed. Mr. Decoud got mad and insisted we give you any name besides your real one. So we picked Nadia. That's why your birth certificate says Nadia but we always called you Kiri. All I know is you came home with me and you've been my bright little shining star ever since. You came back to the world and you laughed and smiled. You started to play with the other kids. You went to school. But whenever Mrs. Decoud came by..."
She blew her nose again.
"Go on," I said. "Whenever Mrs. Decoud came by..."
"You would drift back into the trance," she said, "like you were in a coma or something. So eventually Mrs. Decoud stopped coming to see you because whatever happened to you was tied in your little brain to seeing her. So we all just decided it was best to leave the past in the past and never mention it. I never said anything because I love you and I wanted you to be happy. Whatever happened to you will always remain a mystery but so be it. As long as you're alive and happy."
I hugged my mom again and began to cry. We both just stayed like that for a while.
"I'm going to use the bathroom for a minute," I said.
I went in and splashed some cold water on my face. Then I fixed up my eyes.
When I came back out to the kitchen, my mom had a package out on the table.
"Is that what came in the mail the other day?" I said, sure of the answer.
"Yes," said my mom. "It was sent by FedEx from Boston. A company named Bane Development. Maybe I shouldn't show it to you."
Bane Development. Where had I heard that lately?
"Why?" I said.
"Because I think it relates to what we're talking about. I'm not sure, but I think it does. Kiri, this man... how is he involved?"
"Well, remember I said that before I met up with Mr. and Mrs. Decoud, I was saved from a sinking boat by a boy?"
"Yes..."
"Well, he... Caden... is the boy. He was eighteen then. He's thirty-six now. I just figured out last night that he's the boy in the flashbacks I've been having. But he was taken away by armed guards and I never saw him again. Until recently when he walked into QV Bank."
"That's how you met him? He just walked into your bank?"
I gave her a shortened version of what happened, leaving out anything that might worry her. Especially the part about the FBI and the bank robbery.
"Mom," I said, "do you think it would be okay if I went to see Mrs. Decoud?"
"Oh Kiri, I don't know," she said. "I haven't seen her myself in about fifteen years. She's very old now. But... I guess so... I mean, why not I suppose? I mean, I hope it wouldn't shock her too much to see you."
"It's a chance I have to take. You said she lives on Fifth Avenue?"
"Yes, right across from the Park. I'll get the address for you. Are you going today?"
"Well, mom, I can't fully explain, but time is of the essence. Now tell me, what has been going on here? What were you so upset about on the phone yesterday?"
"Well, I've been getting a lot of strange phone calls. One was from a building inspector who was trying to get information from me about our family. I immediately hung up and called the Building Inspector's office. They had no record of any call being placed."
"That's strange."
"Yes, and then I saw a man standing around outside. He bothered me. Your father went out to talk to him and he said he was waiting for somebody. But he waited a long time."
"What did he look like?"
"He looked Irish. He had very creepy blue eyes and a red crew-cut."
Agent Henderson! Shit, I've got to get out of here!
"Mom, will you do me a favor and don't tell anyone I was here?"
"Why, yes, of course. But why, Kiri?"
"Because I... just because. It's important. Now, what about the package?"
"Well, this is the strangest part. This came in the mail. I think it has something to do with where you came from. I tried calling Bane Development. I've left several messages but nobody has returned my phone call."
Gingerly, I opened the FedEx box. I gasped when I saw what was inside.
The locket!
I picked it up and examined it. I flipped it open and there was the old brown-and-white picture of the woman who looked like me.
Yep, no doubt. This is the same locket that Ca
den had put in the safe deposit box. The safe deposit box that was robbed last night.
Holy shit, is this what the bank robbers were after? If so, then my entire family is in danger. I can't allow that to happen.
With the locket was a note. On a plain white card was handwritten:
For Kiri. Please keep safe for her.
"Mom, I need to take this," I said. "I know what it is. Well, sort of."
I stuffed it in my purse.
"What is it, Kiri?" she said.
"It belongs to Caden. He put it in a safe deposit box at my bank."
"Then how did it get mailed here?"
"I don't know, Mom. I'm very confused. But I need it to find out."
There was a knock at the door.
"Oh, I wonder who that could be," said my mom. "I'm not expecting anybody."
"Mom! Don't answer that yet. Let me get out of here first. I think it's the cops."
"The cops? As in the police? Kiri, don't tell me you are running from the police!"
"No. I mean yes. I mean maybe. I'm not sure who I'm running from. But just let me go out the back before you answer the door. Please don't tell anyone that I was here, especially the police. Please. Tell everyone I said hello and I will see them soon."
We hugged quickly. The banging on the door got louder.
I sneaked out the back door down the stairwell. I knew every brick of this building blindfolded. I went into the basement, then over to a side door that I knew opened into the underground garage of the high-rise across the street.
"Kiri!" said Kong the superintendent as he came out of the furnace room with a bag of trash.
Shit, I had to run into Kong, didn't I?
"Hi Kong," I said, opening the back door.
"When did you get in, Kiri? I haven't seen you in about a year."
"Just now. But I gotta run."
"Why are you going out that way?"
"I'll be back. We'll talk. Good to see you."
I was through the door and out into the underground garage of the building across the street from us. I did this a million times as a teenager, sneaking out to visit friends who lived in the high-rise. I strolled past the parked cars and up the stairs into the spacious lobby.
I paused at the door, checking my Android. Which had exploded with a zillion new texts and calls from everybody I know and some numbers I didn't. Whatever.
I looked out the front window over at my building. Sure enough, an unmarked black sedan and a NYPD cruiser sat there. They're probably talking to my mom right now. I hope she keeps it together enough to lie and say I wasn't here.
There's no other way out. I have to walk out and past them.
Now or never.
I put my phone up to my ear like I was talking and swiftly turned left out the door. I continued up 75th Street to Queens Boulevard and turned right, then back down into the subway.
Chapter 4
When I stepped off the subway back at 68th & Lexington, the day had become hot. Must be close to eighty. I was wearing a Michael Kors cropped jacket that seemed perfect this morning but was now too much.
I walked past Hunter College toward Central Park, then turned right at Fifth. Soon I was at Mrs. Decoud's building, an elegant affair with a green canopy over a gold-and-glass entrance manned by doormen.
I held my breath and walked to the door. The doorman opened it for me with a smile.
The concierge was a bald man in his mid-fifties in a maroon suit. He smiled when I approached the desk.
"Good morning," he said. "How may I help you, miss?"
"I'd like to see Mrs. Decoud, please," I said.
He frowned in that nice way customer service people frown. With concern.
"I'm so sorry," he said, "but I don't have anybody here by that name."
Time for me to turn on my own customer service charm.
"Look, I know that you're not supposed to acknowledge that anybody lives here if they don't want visitors, but will you please do me the favor of calling Mrs. Decoud and telling her that Kiri is here?"
He started to speak but I interrupted him.
"I'm stepping outside for a minute," I said, "so you won't have confirmed or denied that she lives here according to the rules of your job. But please call her. Please. The name is Kiri. K-I-R-I. I think she will want to see me. If she says no, then repeat what you just said to me and I'll go."
Tears had formed in my eyes while I spoke. I walked swiftly away from the concierge and back out onto the sidewalk.
I opened my purse and took out a tissue, blowing my nose. I stood to the side of the building and waited. I don't know why I'm getting so emotional all of a sudden.
I touched the brown teddy bear with the big eyes.
"You like him?" said the nice lady with red hair. She took the stuffed animal off the shelf in the little store and pressed it to my chest. My hands went up and clutched the bear.
"You do like him, don't you?"
I didn't say anything.
She led me through the store looking at dolls, toys, and games. I just held the bear tight.
She paid at the cash register and we were out onto the hot street again. We were in a big hot city.
The nice lady with red hair held my hand as we walked. Soon we were at a park. There I saw the boy who had saved me from the sinking boat talking to the man who I had seen on the sailboat.
When we reached them, the man said, "Martine, we've decided what to do."
"Miss!" said the doorman.
"Yes," I said.
"Are you all right?"
Seems to be everybody's favorite question lately.
I was pressed up with my back against the side of the building looking up at the trees, both hands at my sides. Not good. I seriously need some help.
"Yes, I'm fine," I said.
"Please," he said, motioning me back inside.
I peeled myself off the wall and walked back to the concierge inside.
"Mrs. Decoud will be happy to see you," said the concierge. "Twelfth floor. Number 1201."
He walked to the elevator door, which was almost as ornate as the one at the Plaza Hotel. He pressed the button and it opened. I walked inside.
"Thank you very much," I said.
"My pleasure," he said.
As the numbers rose, I felt the world closing in. I wished I had somebody with me in case I pass out again. First thing I do when I get out of this mess is get some kind of mental help. I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff, about to fall.
The elevator doors opened into an elegant little hallway decorated in sharp blacks and whites with a checked black-and-white tile floor. I stepped out.
At the door to 1201, I paused. I took a deep breath and tried doing the mindfulness breathing thing. Not working today.
I pressed the buzzer.
I heard footsteps on the other side. The door opened.
A large black woman wearing blue hospital scrubs stood there. Shit, did I pick the wrong door?
"Hello," said the woman in a thick Jamaican accent, "I am Saquina, personal assistant to Mrs. Decoud. Please come in."
"Pleasure to meet you, Saquina," I said as I shook her hand.
I stepped into the living room, which was decorated in an African theme. Lots of hand-carved tigers and elephants. Clay bowls. A wallpaper border with painted faces. Zebra-print rug.
"Mrs. Decoud will be just a few minutes," said Saquina. "Would you like something to drink? We have coffee, tea, water, juice..."
"Oh no, thank you," I said. "I'm fine."
"Please have a seat then."
I sat on the couch and she disappeared. The room had a spectacular view of Central Park through a picture window. I could see clear over to the buildings on the West Side. Gray storm clouds were moving in, blotting out the sun.
I looked down at my hands. They were shaking.
Shit, I'm a fucking mess. I'm sweating, fainting, having flashbacks, crying. My God, will I ever be normal again?
Cad
en flashed into my head. Where is he? Is he looking for me? How I would love to just nestle myself in his arms, hearing the lullaby of his heartbeat as I fall asleep!