The Demarcation of Jack

by Blakely Bennett

  “I don’t want to be the downer on this trip.”

  “Jenna, we’re becoming better friends, right?” he asked.

  “Of course, but this is really between Jack and me.”

  “Look, I’m concerned,” he said, “and we have plenty of time before the rest of the resort wakes up, so if you want to, you can tell me about it.”

  “Well, it’s Jack … it’s me…” she said and then paused. “Hell, I don’t know who it is. We had a nice time at dinner and all, but I had a dream early this morning and we ended up in a fight. Yeah, I know,” she said as she held up her hand. “It’s an old argument that never gets resolved. I’m sure I’m making a big deal out of nothing but I can’t help it.” She looked down, playing in the sand with her toes.

  “The fight was about the dream? I’m confused.”

  A cool breeze floated in off the water causing Jenna to shiver. Marc moved in closer and put his right arm around her shoulders.

  Jenna leaned against him and said, “I dreamt that Jack let an old girlfriend give him a blowjob while he and I were together. This actually happened many years ago.”

  “I see, so it’s not a dream. You happened to dream about it again last night, because you haven’t reached a resolution regarding the situation. And the argument?”

  “Same one we have every couple of years or so. I want him to explain to me why he let her do it and why he told me about it. He never answers me,” she said, tears filling her eyes again.

  “What do you want him to say?” he asked, soothing her back with his big hand.

  “I want him to explain it so I can at least understand.”

  “Maybe there’s no explanation. Maybe he doesn’t know why he did it.”

  “Give me a break,” Jenna said, slightly shifting away from Marc’s touch. “I don’t believe for a minute he doesn’t have a reason for what he did.”

  “Men do stupid things sometimes,” he said, forming a mock gun with his hand and pointing it at his foot.

  “He never apologized for it either. Not over all these years. He says it’s my problem and I need to work it out with myself. He’s so incredibly frustrating sometimes. I’m a non-violent person but I swear I could’ve hit him.”

  “Do you think he should’ve told you about it?”

  “I think he told me to hurt me.”

  “That doesn’t seem logical. Maybe he’s not very bright. Maybe he doesn’t understand how he impacts others and sometimes, people don’t know where their lines of demarcation lie until after they’ve committed the act.”

  She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. “Like I said, he never apologized. He told me in such a matter-of-fact way that I was completely stunned. I couldn’t understand it then and I don’t understand it now. The woman was a complete bitch. He told me how he hated her. I understand why she did it though.”

  “Why?”

  “She knew we were happy and she wanted to prove she could still have him if she wanted him.”

  “Do you think you could let it go if he apologized?”

  “I don’t know. If it were sincere, it would certainly help. I’m starting to wonder what keeps us together. I feel like I’ve turned into this bitchy, unhappy person. I never used to be like this. It’s been so long since I’ve felt like he’s listened to me, actually heard what I’ve said.” She glanced up at Marc and said, “Sorry and thank you for letting me rant.”

  “You’re welcome,” he said, embracing her close, as if trying to keep her warm against the sea breeze. “Why do you think you dreamt about it now?”

  “Same reason it usually comes up from the depth of my subconscious. Well, and this is a little embarrassing, but I think it was Summer and Jack going over to the island together.”

  “Oh? I see. I think I understand. So this is an ongoing issue for you, but not for Jack. That makes it very tough on you. He’s finished and you’re not. I can see why you might be asking yourself why you stay together. Do you think Jack could say why the two of you are still together?”

  “I doubt it.”

  “I think you have a right to be upset. But remember, not everyone is in touch with why they do what they do. It’s been awhile so maybe he’s not clear about what motivated him. Maybe he doesn’t remember why he did it in the first place.”

  “Why are you defending him?”

  “I’m not. I’m trying to help you let go of the need for an answer. He never did it again, did he?”

  “No.”

  “So he must have seen it as a bad choice.”

  “That’s all great, but this is not the only issue we’re dealing with. Frankly, I don’t think about it until something triggers the memory.”

  “Understood, but it does keep coming up. How are you going to resolve it with yourself? What’re your alternatives? You could get counseling with him, you could leave him, you could get counseling without him or you could cut your losses and let this go. You have to decide for yourself, which option is going to meet your most important fundamental needs. Is there anything worth salvaging in your relationship?”

  “I don’t know these days. God, that’s scary to say, but it’s true.” She felt a hard lump rise in her throat.

  “Tunnel vision can be a dangerous thing. We focus on one thing to the exclusion of everything else and pretty soon nothing seems right.”

  “The dream is what’s up for us today. Last week it was that he didn’t ask me about inviting you guys. The week before it was something else but it wasn’t always like this. I’m not sure what happened between us, but we used to have fun no matter what we were doing. Now it seems we find conflict at every turn instead,” she said, peering down at the sand.

  “It seems you guys have a lot to work through.”

  “Yes, it would seem we do.”

  “Would you like to go for a walk?” Marc asked as he released his arm from around her shoulders and stood up.

  “Yes, that would be nice,” she said, holding out her hands so Marc could pull her to her feet. She brushed the sand from her backside, noticing that dawn was breaking. “The sky looks so incredible right now.”

  “And so do you,” he said, wiping a remnant tear from her cheek. He cautiously lowered his mouth for a kiss and Jenna did not rebuke him. The kiss lingered for a moment and then she slowly pushed him back and looked away.

  “I think I need to go,” she said.

  “Okay, I’ll walk you there,” he said, placing his hand on her back.

  “I’m fine making it there by myself,” she said, stepping out of his reach.

  “It’s not that far and I don’t mind. It’s still fairly dark out and I’d like to see you safely back to your room.” He started across the sand.

  “If you insist,” she said, trailing behind.

  They strolled silently through the lobby and down the long hallway to Jenna’s room. She didn’t know what to make of his kiss or why she gave into it.

  “Thank you for being such a good listener, but the kiss—”

  “Was I being too forward?” he asked.

  “Let’s just say it took me completely by surprise. I’ll have to think about it.” Jenna entered her room feeling stimulated yet confused by Marc. She lay down on her side of the bed but could still feel the gulf between her and Jack.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  “What time is it?” Summer asked, sitting up and stretching her arms above her head. She looked over at Marc on the balcony and called to him, “Good morning, Marcus, how’d you sleep?” She rolled over into Child’s pose and stretched her arms forward.

  “I actually had an interesting experience early this morning,” he said, walking back into the room.

  “Oh, do tell.”

  “First, let’s snuggle a bit,” he said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. His cellphone rang interrupting the moment. “It’s work. I’ll take this on the balcony and only be a minute.”

  “Marcus, it’s Rich. One of the Jacuzzis stopped working and had a smell of
… like something was burning. Robert called Jim to come fix it, but I’m not sure when he’ll get here. The line to the other Jacuzzi is getting long.”

  “Well, we’ve used this guy before and he’s very reliable. Sounds to me like you’re handling this very well. Nothing more I can do from here. Relax, buddy and have a good day.”

  “Okay, just keeping you in the loop. I’ll call if I need you for anything.”

  Marc walked back into the room and said, “I’m leaving this here.” He opened the top drawer of the end table and tossed the phone inside.

  “Well, now that you’ve got my curiosity piqued about this morning, you can’t keep me waiting any longer. We’ll snuggle and talk at the same time,” she said, pulling him back toward her. She turned over, letting him spoon her from behind. “So what happened? Did you leave the room?”

  “Yeah, I went downstairs to watch the sunrise.”

  “The sunrise?” she said.

  “Yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking. Anyway, I went down to the beach and who did I run into? None other than our Jenna.”

  “Really? How early was this?” she asked, caressing his arm that wrapped around her torso.

  “I think it was around 5:30.”

  “What was she doing on the beach?”

  “She and Jack had a fight—”

  “At 5:30 in the morning? Jesus, those guys start early.”

  “Well, sweetie, if you would stop interrupting, I could explain,” he said, and then shared with her what happened on the beach.

  “Wow. That doesn’t sound very good,” she said, sitting up in the bed.

  “It seems like they have a lot to work through and on top of all of that, I impulsively kissed her.”

  “What were you thinking?” She stood up and turned to face him. “Did the little head take control of the big head?”

  “Obviously. Are you angry?”

  “Not for me but it seems unwise to kiss a woman who is upset and doesn’t know about our open lifestyle. Now she’s left to decide if she’ll share the news with Jack and that could make this all much more complicated. I mean, they are already fighting and I’m not sure I would tell him about the kiss if I were in her shoes.”

  “You tell me everything.”

  “That’s different, Marc. Their relationship isn’t like ours.”

  “Yeah, it was not one of my finer moments, that’s for sure,” he said, moving to the end of the bed and touching her leg.

  “If they came to you for counseling, hypothetically, what would you think their chances are?” she asked.

  “I don’t know. I haven’t heard how he currently feels about the relationship, but I know it was great for them at one time. She has a lot of built up anger she has to deal with. I don’t get that sense from him, do you?”

  “Hmmm … no, not anger, but there’s something there. Disappointment maybe or it could be sadness. He covers it well so it really isn’t very evident. I can’t be sure.” She climbed back onto the bed to do her morning stretches. She opened her legs, lying forward between them.

  “I apologize for being so irresponsible in my actions. I hope this doesn’t make things awkward between us all.”

  She climbed into his lap and he wrapped her in his arms. “You must really like her. I haven’t known you to be impulsive like that with other women. I still love you, you know,” she said, and hopped off the bed. “Do I have time to do my sunrise set before breakfast?” she asked, kissing him on the cheek.

  “I ordered breakfast in. It should be here in a half-hour or so.”

  “Great. Will you keep me company while I do my yoga?”

  “Sure,” he said, getting up from the bed and sitting in the chair by the table. “So do you think they’re a longshot now?”

  “At this point, probably. I guess we’ll have to see how it all plays out. Do you think Jenna likes you?” she said, lying on her stomach with her arms lifting her upper body.

  “How can you talk and hold that posture?”

  “Lots of practice,” she said, her voice deeper from the sustained pose.

  “She did kiss me back … but then she pushed me away,” he said, uncrossing his legs and leaning forward. “So I’m not sure, but it’s clear to me we may need to take things slower.”

  “You mean you do, big boy. I haven’t accosted Jack yet.”

  *****

  Startled awake by knocking, Jenna glanced back and forth as she became oriented to her surroundings. Her eyes trailed Jack as he strode back into the room from the balcony and over to the door. She quickly pulled the sheet up to her neckline when a man entered the room carrying a large tray filled with several covered plates.

  “Over here,” Jack said, pointing to the table out on the balcony.

  The attendant placed the breakfast down and hoisted the tray with last night’s emptied drinks. As Jack followed the attendant toward the room door, Jenna could hear a muffled conversation between the two men. Given the opportunity, she lunged from the bed, snatched her nightshirt off the chair and slipped into the bathroom. She glanced in the mirror, noticing her puffy eyes. Great, that’s just perfect, she thought. She washed her hands and face, brushed her teeth, and then pulled on the robe that she had hung on the wall near the shower. She took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door. She didn’t make eye contact with Jack as she made her way onto the balcony and sat down looking out at the ocean.

  “Jenna,” he said, pleading as he approached.

  She didn’t want to look at him. She didn’t want him to see the guilt on her face. She felt incredibly vulnerable.

  “Jenna, please,” he said softly as he took a seat next to her.

  She willed herself not to turn but she did nonetheless. She peeked up into his eyes and saw deep sadness.

  “I would so love to be able to undo so many things in my past,” he said, raking his fingers through his hair. “Make better decisions, undo some wrongs. The one thing that I know I wouldn’t undo is you. You mean the world to me. I love you very much and if I could wipe out that memory for you, I would in a heartbeat. I hope we can move on from here. I am truly sorry. What is happening between us is really starting to scare me. I don’t want to lose you.”

  “Uh … I’m stunned. This is not how I thought the morning would start.” She hid her emotions behind her hand. “Wow. Jack,” she said, fanning her face. “I think that’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

  Tears welled up in her eyes and she rose up to reach for him. He stood and embraced her as she laid her head on his shoulder. “I love you,” she said as the hot tears fell down her cheeks. She didn’t know if this would change anything in the end, but in that moment, she felt incredible relief, a weight lifted from her shoulders.

  Jack sighed. He pulled back so he could see her face. “Let’s have a good time today,” he said with renewed energy. “Let’s forget all the issues and everything that’s happened in the past and just be together, you and me, one on one like we used to. Please, I need it. We need it.”

  “Yeah, I think so, too,” she said, angling her face to him. She fell into his kiss, losing herself in his feel and taste. Enlaced in each other’s arms, she rocked back and forth, unable to purge the thought of Marc’s kiss.

  After a few minutes Jenna’s stomach growled and she said, “What did you order? I’m starved.” She chuckled, pushing against Jack’s chest to break their embrace. “Food is such a great distraction.”

  Jack laughed and began lifting the covers of the plates.

  “Wow. There’s a lot of food here.”

  “I didn’t know what you would be in the mood for, so I wanted to make sure you had plenty to choose from,” he said, sitting back in his chair to pour a cup of coffee.

  “Hmmm … where to begin,” she said, finally putting a cheese Danish on a small plate and placing it in front of her.

  “That’s it? That’s the extent of your feast? Would you at least drink some juice?” he said as he moved from plate
to plate, sampling the colorful and exotic dishes.

  “I’ve already brushed my teeth. Is there water?”

  “Water?” He squinted at the thought, but poured cold water into a glass. “I thought I heard the door open during the night, but I must have been dreaming because you were in bed when I woke up.”

  “I left the room shortly after our fight.”

  “What?” he said. “No way. Where did you go?”

  “Just down to the beach.”

  “Alone?” he asked, his voice raised slightly.

  “Well, I wasn’t alone for that long,” she said, shifting in her seat.

  “What does that mean?” he asked.

  “Marc showed up a little while after I got there.”

  “Marc? Am I missing something?” he said, leaning forward in his chair. “Is there something I should know?”

  “No. He thought he would be able to see the sunrise. He forgot it sets here.”

  “So it was really early morning,” he said. He rested back in the chair and forked a large piece of jerk chicken.

  “Yeah, I guess. Does it matter?”

  “I don’t like the idea of you walking around alone in the middle of the night. Or in the early morning for that matter,” he said, adding more coffee to his mug. “How long were you gone?”

  “I’m not sure. An hour or so, I guess.”

  “So Marc was with you for an hour?”

  “Honey, I don’t know. I think I dozed off for a little while.”

  “Jenna, please, please don’t do that again. Who knows if it’s safe here? You wouldn’t do that back home.”

  “I was angry and wasn’t thinking straight.”

  “Yeah. Good thing Marc was there. Did you tell him what was going on between us?”

  “Well … yeah, sort of. I had been crying and he could tell,” she said, furrowing her brow. “Are you mad?”

  “No. Just make sure you tell him we’ve worked it out,” he replied. He rose and went back into the room.

  “Okay,” she said, taking an apple from the tray and following him inside. “I’ll tell him as soon as I see him.”