Towards a Dark Horizon

by Maureen Reynolds

  Bella still had her empty glass while my grandparents looked tired. As if pulled by strings, they all stood up and Margot brought their coats. Hattie glared at them as they left and I could see she was ashamed of us not being party people and she was right. The only person bouncing around and eating everything in sight was Lily.

  Dad refilled our glasses and I thought it a great pity that Bella had lost out on this extra drink. He ushered us towards the buffet table and urged us to eat up. I put a small sandwich and a sausage roll on my plate but everything tasted like sawdust. It was this horrible cold which I couldn’t seem to get rid of.

  Danny went over to Margot and handed over a gaudily wrapped parcel. The look of delight on her face was well out of proportion to its size but I was feeling churlish and a bit fed up.

  It was a damask tablecloth and Margot showed it to us all. ‘It’s lovely, Danny! Thank you.’

  I was annoyed to see him blush. Such was the charm of this woman.

  Greg said quietly, ‘Now your Dad’s got married, Ann, does that mean it’s our turn soon?’

  He saw me glance in Lily’s direction. ‘Won’t Lily be staying with them?’

  I shook my head. ‘How can we live here, Greg? Just look at this room? Margot will not be wanting two people to camp on her settee in spite of what she says. And I promised Lily that I wouldn’t abandon her.’

  ‘We can get married and take her to live with us in Glasgow, can’t we?’

  By now, my head was splitting and I thought I was going to faint. ‘Can we talk about this some other time Greg? Let’s just give Margot and Dad some time to settle down in their marriage and we’ll make plans then.’

  Once again we were parting on these terms and at this rate we would never get married. Still, on this particular night, I couldn’t think of anything other than my aches and pains.

  Thankfully, it was soon time to say our goodbyes and we set off into the cold starry night. Greg had only half an hour to catch his train and he told me to go home to my bed. ‘You’d better take a hot-water bottle with you, Ann, because that’s a terrible cold you have. Don’t come to the station with me. I’ll write to you tomorrow night.’

  He set off with Danny and I realised I hadn’t had the chance to speak to my cousin all night. Were we drifting apart? Even worse. Were Greg and I also drifting apart? I said a small mental prayer that this wasn’t the case and Lily and I headed off down the road with Hattie.

  She was full of the evening’s event. ‘I’m glad your father has settled down with such a lovely decent woman, Ann. What a delightful house she keeps and she’s so well dressed.’

  I think she expected a reply or a confirmation of the wonderful Margot. ‘Aye she is.’

  ‘And didn’t our present go down well? I couldn’t believe it when I saw how well it went with her gorgeous curtains and the lovely room.’

  I was mystified. ‘Did Jeemy deliver it, Hattie?’

  She was shocked. ‘Indeed he did not!’ There was a smug look on her face. ‘I had this brilliant idea. Mrs Pringle gets her deliveries from this posh shop in town and they have this super shiny van in deep green with gold lettering. It looks almost regal. Well, I know the driver quite well and I asked him to do me a favour.’

  I looked at her and she was almost beside herself with pleasure.

  ‘I bought a suitable card and some gold twine. Wrapped it around the jardinière and got him to deliver it for me. Margot thinks it came from that shop.’

  ‘Well, let’s hope she doesn’t find out it came from Jumping Jeemy’s Emporium.’ This was the shop’s nickname, earned because most of his stock was so old and mouldy that it was highly possible to inherit a couple or twenty fleas with your purchase.

  She shuddered at the thought. ‘She’d better not find out from anyone in the family or I’ll be very angry.’

  ‘That was good of the driver to deliver it for you, Hattie.’

  ‘Actually it wasn’t all goodness from him – I gave him a half crown for doing it.’

  By now we had reached the foot of the Hilltown and we watched her as she set off for her own house.

  As she disappeared into the night Lily and I climbed wearily up the hill. I could have sworn I was climbing Everest and by the time we reached the close my breath was coming in great gasps and I was sucking at the cold night air like a starving man greedily eating from a plate.

  Lily gave me a concerned glance but I managed a wan smile. ‘It’s just been a long night, Lily.’

  10

  The news on everyone’s lips seemed to be about the threat of war. Old people who had remembered the last war were fearful. Mrs Halliday was one such person. ‘They said it would never happen again. That the last time was the war to end all wars.’

  Connie was reassuring. ‘Och, it might not come to anything. You’ve been listening to Joe too much.’

  After she left, Connie said, ‘Let’s talk about something more cheerful, Ann. How did the party go? Did you have a good time?’

  I was still feeling dreadfully ill but I tried to tell her about Saturday night.

  After I described it she said, ‘It must have come as an awful shock when your father got married so suddenly?’

  ‘Aye, it was, Connie – a huge shock.’ She studied me for a moment then said, ‘Will you both be going to live with your new stepmother Ann or will you stay in your own house?’

  ‘I’d like to stay where I am at the moment, Connie, but it’ll all depend on the money situation. I don’t know if I can keep it on my wage alone.’

  She was sympathetic. ‘I just wish I could give you more hours, Ann, but I can’t. We’re not that busy at the moment, I’m afraid.’

  I was flustered. ‘Oh, I didn’t mean to sound as if I’m needing more work. I know you would offer it if you could.’

  A few people entered the shop and I was grateful to end the conversation. Ever since Dad’s wedding, I had been doing my sums and I knew I couldn’t keep on the house without his pay. I had flirted with the idea of asking him for a small sum each week for Lily but I had dismissed it from my mind. If he had been keen to help, then he would have offered.

  By now, I could hardly breath with the pain in my chest and my head was aching again. I hardly slept at night with all this mental working out of household sums so this added to my feeling of lethargy. I was so glad when it was time to go home and I huddled in front of the fire with a hot-water bottle on my lap.

  The postman had delivered two letters. One was a long one from Greg. He wrote about the party and asked me again if I would consider moving to Glasgow with Lily. Maybe I should, I thought. It would take away this endless worry of making ends meet but I lay back in my chair, too weak to worry about answering it.

  The second letter was from Minnie. She wrote:

  I wasn’t very happy at the start, Ann, but I’ve settled in well now. The folk here are really very friendly, especially the old couple from next door who dote on wee Peter and he loves them. My man is much happier in this new shop than he was in the last one. Give my thanks to your granny for all her help and advice and tell her I’m glad I came here. Love to yourself and Lily.

  I was so relieved for her. I still remembered the feeling of sadness that had swept over me at our last meeting but now she had settled in and was happy. Was that what I should do? Move to another city to be with Greg?

  My head was throbbing so I gave up thinking of all my troubles and fell asleep. It was a fitful sleep as I kept waking up to look at the clock. I didn’t want to be late meeting Lily at the school gate. At ten to four, I got up, feeling very stiff and sore. By now, the room was warm and, as I glanced around its cosy interior, I knew I could never give it up without a struggle.

  I had been toying with an idea all week and, as I made my way towards the school, I made up my mind. I decided I would pay a visit to Maddie’s father, Mr Pringle. He looked after my legacy and had invested it for me. Mrs Peters had also done the same. I would draw some money out of it to tid
e us over and I felt better. I was planning to look for another small job in the evenings. With my hours from Connie plus a few hours elsewhere, then surely I would have enough to pay the bills. However, before I could think about that, I knew I had to get over this horrible cold first as it seemed to be sapping all my energy.

  Lily ran through the school gate with Janie. They parted with such ceremony that it looked like they were parting forever instead of seeing one another the next morning.

  ‘Lily, I have to see Mr Pringle in his office. You can come with me and we’ll get chips for tea.’

  She was excited. Anything different in her small life seemed to please her and her pleasure often far outweighed the project.

  Mr Pringle’s office was in Commercial Street. His large windows with the firm’s name printed in bold letters on them gave the small premises a rather grand look. The small outer office had two desks with large typewriters on them. Two middle-aged women sat at these desks. Lily and I sat on the two armchairs. One of the women detached herself from her typewriter to attend to us. I stated my mission and she departed quietly into the inner sanctum.

  She came back within a minute. ‘Mr Pringle has a client at the moment but he’ll see you as soon as he’s free.’ She sauntered back to her desk but before she sat down, she said, ‘You should have made an appointment, Miss Neill.’

  I apologised to her for my thoughtlessness and we waited. Lily was very quiet. I think she was afraid to speak in this church-like silence with only the gentle tap-tapping of the typewriters breaking it.

  It was a good half an hour before Mr Pringle appeared. He saw us and smiled. ‘How lovely to see you both.’ He bent down towards Lily. ‘And how’s this little girl getting on?’

  With a serious expression she gazed at him. ‘I’m doing great, Mr Pringle, and thank you for asking.’

  For a moment I thought he was going to burst into laughter but instead he said, ‘Well, I’m glad to hear it, Lily.’ He looked at me. ‘Come into the office, Ann.’ He then turned to Lily again. ‘Will you be a good girl and sit here until your sister comes out?’ She nodded solemnly.

  The chair in his small office was slightly more comfortable than the one outside and I gazed at the three walls lined with fat, leather, heavy-looking books. It was not unlike Connie’s lending library room.

  ‘Well, what can I do for you, Ann?’ he said pleasantly.

  Before going into his office, I had decided to be frank. ‘I would like some money from my legacy, Mr Pringle.’

  Over the years since receiving my legacy from Mrs Barrie, I had drawn some money out but he had always tried to make me understand the good policy of keeping most of it invested to make interest on it.

  He lifted my file down from the shelf. ‘How much money do you want, Ann?’

  ‘Fifty pounds, Mr Pringle.’

  His head came up sharply from the file and he gave me a piercing look. ‘Fifty pounds?’

  I wasn’t going to mention losing Dad’s money every week but he must have guessed.

  ‘I forgot to say congratulations to your father, Ann. I believe he got married to Mrs Connors last week. Mrs Pringle and I were sorry we couldn’t manage to go the wedding party on Saturday but it was our bridge night.’

  Bridge night? The other Mrs Pringle, Dorothy, also had her bridge night on the same evening. It was a revelation how the other half lived.

  ‘Thank you, Mr Pringle. It was a surprise about the marriage but it’s done now so that’s that.’

  He studied me once more. ‘Fifty pounds is a lot of money, Ann. Are you sure you want so much?’

  I nodded. ‘Lily needs some things and I thought I would keep the money for a standby – for the odd emergency. It’ll save me coming back for more if I get enough out now.’

  He didn’t say anything for a moment then he wrote in the file.

  ‘I won’t be able to get the money tonight, Ann, as the bank has closed. Can you come back tomorrow?’

  Whether it was the disappointment or my cold but a spasm of coughing shook my body. I gasped, ‘I’m sorry, Mr Pringle, but I can’t seem to get rid of this cold.’

  He left the office and came back with a glass of water.

  ‘I think you should see a doctor, Ann. You look white and shaken. Do you want me to get a doctor for you?’

  I took the water and sipped it. The spasm passed. ‘No, honestly, Mr Pringle, I’ll be fine. It’s just a really bad cold.’

  He looked worried. ‘I wish you had made an appointment, Ann, and I could have had the money waiting for you instead of you having to come back tomorrow.’ He took out his wallet. ‘Let me give you some money in the meantime and you can get the balance tomorrow.’

  I was mortified with shame and my face turned a deep purple. ‘Oh, no, Mr Pringle, that will not be necessary. I don’t need the money right now as it’s just for Lily or the odd emergency.’

  He gazed at me sternly. ‘Well, if you say so, Ann, but you would confide in me if you were having any problems, wouldn’t you?’

  I nodded. If only he knew the truth. At that moment I had only enough money in my purse to get Lily her tea from the chip shop and that was all.

  I tried to smile but even my jaw ached. ‘Of course I would, Mr Pringle.’

  He stood up. ‘Well I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon, Ann, and I’ll have the money waiting for you.’

  I was glad to escape and I grabbed Lily’s hand and we hurried out into the street.

  ‘We’ll take your chips to Granny’s and you can eat them there, Lily.’

  She smiled at me and placed her small hand in mine. Once again, I was furious at Dad for abandoning her. To make up for this, I asked her, ‘What do you want from the chip shop for your tea?’

  She gave this some thought and then she said, ‘Can I have a fishcake supper, Ann?’

  I had to laugh. This was her favourite dish from the chip shop – especially when the small Italian man who owned the shop shook loads of salt and vinegar on it. He would ask her in his broken English, ‘You, wee lassie, want some salt vinegar on your chips?’

  Lily would nod solemnly and he would make a big show with the two containers on his counter. Normally I made soup every day and things like mince and tatties so this fishcake supper was a huge treat for her.

  The chip shop was crowded but, as it was only a tiny shop, we didn’t have too long to wait. The wonderful smell of cooking made my hunger even more acute and I was kicking myself for not taking the kind offer of money from Mr Pringle. It was, after all, my own money so why should I feel so much shame for being hard up? Still, I would have my fifty pounds tomorrow.

  The owner leaned over the counter and beamed at Lily. ‘Och, it’s wee lassie, Lily. What you want tonight?’

  Lily looked important. ‘A fishcake supper, Mr Nettie.’

  This was her nickname for him. When she had been very small his Italian name had been too difficult for her to pronounce and the name had stuck.

  The rain started as we made our way up the Overgate and I carried her chips under my coat to keep them dry. On reaching the house, I was grateful to see the cheery fire in the grate but less cheerful to see Bella sitting at the table with Granny. They were conducting a post mortem on the party.

  As Lily ran ahead to get her plate from the cupboard, Granny turned to Grandad. He was sitting at the fire with his pipe and evening paper. ‘Bella and I were just saying that your jardinière went down a treat. Margot was fair pleased with it.’

  Grandad looked pleased. ‘I knew she would like it because I’ve got a good eye for a bargain.’

  ‘Does she know you bought it from Jumping Jeemy?’ Lily asked as she sat at the table.

  ‘It doesn’t matter where I bought it from, wee lass – it was still a grand bargain and why Hattie didn’t want him to deliver it for me is a mystery.’

  Bella hadn’t enjoyed the party. ‘I didn’t think it was that good,’ she said sourly. ‘There was no sing-song or any drink – just those wee dinky
glasses of sherry that have no kick – and as for those sandwiches … well, there was hardly a mouthful in each one. You wouldn’t have had to be hungry, that’s for sure.’

  Granny tried to be more charitable. ‘Och, well, Bella, that’s the way some folk are. They do everything in wee drops. It’s supposed to be artistic or so I’m told.’

  ‘Well, it might be bonny when it’s set out on the table but we all want a good feed at a party. A good plate of steak pie, peas and tatties then rice pudding or custard or something sweet.’ She smacked her lips as she imagined this feast. ‘And we should get a good drink. Farty wee glasses like that are no use to man or beast, that’s for sure.’

  Grandad shook his head then retreated behind the newspaper while I had this mental image of Bella with a pint glass of sherry.

  Then Granny noticed I was leaving Lily to tuck into her fishcake and chips and wasn’t having anything myself. She raised her eyebrows at me but remained silent in front of Bella. She then stood up. ‘I think I’ll make us something to eat, Bella.’

  Bella stared at her and Grandad dropped his newspaper in his lap. He said, ‘But we’ve just had our tea and I expect Bella had hers before she came.’

  Bella shook her head. ‘It was more like a wee snack so I wouldn’t mind a bit of supper, Nan.’

  Grandad was outraged. ‘Supper? It’s only six o’clock.’

  Granny moved over to the stove and didn’t reply. After a few moments, the wonderful smell of soup filled the air and she lit the grill. Placing thick slices of bread under it she stood with her back to us until the meal was ready. She then moved over to the table. ‘Hot soup and toast,’ she said. She looked at Lily. ‘I don’t expect you’ll be wanting anything, wee lass?’

  ‘No, thank you, Granny. I’m full up with Mr Nettie’s chips.’

  I was starving and I realised I hadn’t eaten anything since early that morning. The hot soup warmed me up and the toast was thickly spread with butter. Granny detested margarine and so did I.

  My body felt as if it had been kicked by an angry horse. I had aches and pains in every joint and my headache was beginning to come back.