Her Secret Fantasy

by Gaelen Foley

  Derek soaked her in with his gaze, and then suddenly noticed the absence of an all-too-familiar detail. “No pretty diamond earrings today, Miss Balfour?” he whispered, ducking his head to nibble her naked earlobe.

  She giggled and pulled back with a mysterious smile. “No, my Major. Not today.”

  “Is this your way of making sure I got the message that you were out of charity with me?” He offered her a penitent half-smile, considering how her diamonds had become the touchstones of their dealings with each other.

  “Not exactly,” she replied, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. Then she shrugged. “I’m afraid they just…didn’t match my gown.”

  “I thought you girls are fond of saying that diamonds go with everything.”

  “I missed you,” she told him, changing the subject adroitly, stroking his hair. “It’s like I’m sleepwalking on the days when I don’t see you.”

  He shook his head, wanting her so badly. “I think about you all the time. I’ve been trying so hard to stay away from you.”

  They gazed at each other for a long moment.

  “This wasn’t supposed to happen, was it?” he admitted.

  “I’m glad it did. Kiss me. Kiss me now.” She pulled him closer and he did her bidding with a besotted smile on his lips.

  He decided that this young lady had to come again. Yes. There had to be time for one more quick…

  “Mmm, that’s better.” Her appreciative answer to his light kiss interrupted Derek’s wayward thoughts. “It seems like ages since I’ve seen you. How are you?” she murmured. “And for that matter, how’s your furry patient?”

  “The horse?”

  “Of course,” she rhymed with a silly little smile.

  “Worlds better. She even has a name.”

  “She does?”

  He tapped her on the nose. “I named her Mary Nonesuch in your honor.”

  “I’m so flattered!”

  “As you should be. I think you’ll be impressed when you see Miss Mary again. Gabriel and I had her under saddle on the lunge line yesterday. A nice mover, in all, and I’m happy to say I should be able to deliver her to her new owner very soon.”

  “You’ve sold Mary Nonesuch?” she exclaimed with indignation.

  “No, darling, I’m giving her to you.”

  Her blue eyes widened anew. “To me?”

  He laughed softly at her expression of childlike amazement. “Yes, Lily, that was my intention all along. You will take her, I hope? She needs a good home. I can’t risk giving her to someone who’ll abuse her when I’m gone.”

  At the mention of his upcoming exit from London, her whole mien changed like the English weather. Her face fell, and a wistful sadness crept into her eyes.

  “Oh, darling, don’t look like that,” he pleaded, his heart clenching.

  “I can’t help it.” She turned away. “It isn’t fair.”

  “Why isn’t it fair?”

  “Because you’re going off to chase after fortune and glory and you don’t even care what happens to me!”

  “Of course I care.”

  She threw up her hands. “All this time, you’ve been browbeating me for being a fortune hunter, but I think it’s all rather hypocritical of you, considering the first time we met, you specifically told me your whole purpose in going back to India was—and I quote—for ‘fortune and glory.’ Don’t preach at me about ‘chasing gold’ when you’re doing the exact same thing.”

  “Well—I suppose I did say that.” He glanced at the floor and then eyed her warily. “But my situation is very different from yours.”

  “How so?”

  He looked at her for a long moment, deliberating on how much to say. Then he shrugged and shook his head, casting off his caginess. He sighed and sat beside her on the ottoman. “When I was a boy, my mother was constantly pushing me to do better, try harder, achieve more. The worst possible fate for someone in my position would have been mediocrity.”

  “Your position?”

  “Younger son. Even death would have been preferable to an ordinary life. The heroic ideal. She made it very clear, you see, that if I did not make something splendid of myself, fit to dazzle the world, I would be doomed to obscurity, and then—no one would ever love me.”

  He fell silent for a moment. He could feel Lily watching him, but he avoided her study, keeping his gaze cast down. “So, when I go and risk life and limb for ‘Hindu plunder,’ as you put it, it’s because I’m only trying to be worthy of the thing I really want.”

  “And what is that?” she whispered.

  He turned to her in silence and stared into her eyes. “Love.”

  “Oh, Derek.” With a melting look, she wrapped her arms around him and the heavenly kiss she gave him could have told even the most virginal young man that she plainly longed to give herself to him.

  Derek ached to receive the gift, but he knew full well that time was waning. Lundy would be watching for her, and others could be wondering where they both had gone. No, this was not the place…and he was not the man.

  At least not as things currently stood.

  He despised the thought of her going back to Lundy, but was expert enough to grasp which rules could be safely broken and which were ironclad. It was not permissible for him to enjoy her to the fullest until her future husband had known her first.

  He felt his mood instantly darkening at that knowledge, but what could he do? As much as he burned for her, there were risks to be taken into account—risks to Lily, and to his investigation. Damn, he felt powerless to change any of it—and now he had bared his soul to her like a fool. To what end?

  As far as he could tell, nothing was altered. They were still stuck in place. He still had not managed to dissuade her from her reckless course, nor could he bring himself to nullify her will and destroy her plans on his own initiative. Well, what did he expect? That one superior orgasm could change a woman’s mind?

  Meanwhile, lust still clouded his brain, and mixed with anger, it bubbled dangerously, a volatile brew. The fact of the matter was, he was upset—not because he could not make love to her, but because there would come a day when Lundy would. His little bride.

  Feeling as though the whole thing was spinning too fast beyond his control, Derek clasped her upper arms and set her back from him, forcing an end to her kiss. He stared at her as he held her at arm’s length.

  “What’s wrong?” Lily whispered as her shimmering gaze swept over the brooding look on his face.

  “We need to stop,” he answered hoarsely. Such heroic effort, such noble self-denial! he thought, mocking himself heartlessly as she looked at him in confusion. But really, his mother would have been proud. “You should go back.”

  “Oh.”

  He saw he had embarrassed her, and took pity on her innocence. “I wouldn’t want to rush it with you, Lily. And I daresay we don’t need one of Lundy’s footmen walking in.”

  “No. I’m sure you’re right. But, what of your needs?” she asked shyly. “I mean, if we don’t—that is, won’t you suffer injury to your, um, anatomy?”

  He arched a brow. “Not unless you were planning on kicking me.”

  “No! Of course not.” Her cheeks turned strawberry red.

  Derek couldn’t help smiling. “An injury to my anatomy, eh? And where did you get a daft idea like that?”

  She dropped her gaze, hiding her maidenly shame behind her long lashes. “No place. It was just—something I heard.”

  “No, Lily,” he said softly, finding her chagrin endearing. “Frustration is a part of life for all us randy males. You needn’t do me any favors.”

  She sent him a strange, unsettled glance, murmured a terse, “Very well,” and rose to go. Gliding over to a pier glass on the wall, she straightened her gown and smoothed her hair. “I wouldn’t wait too long to get back to the party if I were you,” she said over her shoulder. “Edward will be watching for you.”

  “And I imagine Fanny Coates is feeling lonely,”
he replied in a sharp-edged drawl.

  But the second Lily turned and sent him a frown full of distress, her light-green skirts whirling gracefully around her slender form, he clenched his jaw, regretting his jealous remark.

  She furrowed her brow, visibly trying to shrug off the small hurt and the jealousy that she, too, felt, it would appear. Saying nothing, she emitted an impatient exhalation and marched to the door.

  Still throbbing with desire, Derek tracked her with his stare. “What are you going to tell Edward?”

  “I don’t know. I’ll think of something.” She hesitated, one hand on the doorknob. “I suppose I’ll say you were with…some woman.”

  He gave her a cynical smile. “Why, that isn’t even a lie.” He did not know why he could not chase the churlish edge out of his voice, but he cursed himself for it again and dropped his gaze. Of course, he was frustrated out of his mind, but that was no excuse.

  She sent him a piercing look. “I’m leaving now. Good-bye, again.”

  “Now that you got what you came for.”

  “Derek!” Again, she halted. “What is the matter with you?”

  “Nothing. Nothing at all.”

  Only that I’m in love with you. The realization shocked him as it flashed across his mind.

  He swallowed hard. And hoped she didn’t hate him for taking this so poorly.

  She stared at him from across the room, her expression slowly softening. A knowing look stole into her eyes, as if she could read his mind—his confusion, his dismay, his vexation with himself. His adoration of her. “Derek?”

  He just looked at her.

  “I lied to you about my earrings,” she said gently. “Of course the diamonds would have matched my gown. The reason I’m not wearing them is because I do not have them anymore.”

  He furrowed his brow. “Why?”

  She looked at him for a long moment, a mysterious smile tugging at her lips. “I gave them to that coachman that you horsewhipped in the street to make him drop the charges and keep you out of jail.”

  His jaw dropped. “What?”

  He started forward, but blowing him a little kiss, Lily slipped out the door and closed it behind her with the quietest click.

  Derek sat there in shock, unable to go after her yet on account of his massive erection. “Damn it—”

  He glanced down absently at the straining cloth of his tan trousers and then, in longing disbelief, looked again toward the door through which she had vanished.

  He barely knew what to think.

  “Dear God,” he finally muttered under his breath, inspired by that odd mix of fury and lust and delight that only she conjured in him.

  She shouldn’t have done it.

  But he could have laughed aloud to hear that she did.

  His heart surged into the empyrean. Dizzying heights.

  “Well,” he whispered into the empty air. “I shall have to get them back for her at once.”

  At last, he jumped to his feet, straightened out his appearance, then strolled back to the party like a man in possession of the most delicious secret in the world.

  “Oof!” said Coachman Jones as Derek slammed him up against the wall of the tavern where he found the brute later that night, still celebrating his windfall.

  It had been easy enough to hunt the man down.

  The constables had told Derek the name of the man who had wanted to have him arrested, and military habits of observation had impressed upon his mind the name and address of the stagecoach company Jones worked for. These had been painted in block letters on the side of the vehicle.

  After leaving the Lundys’ garden party in the late afternoon, Derek had gone to the company’s bustling main yard and asked with a friendly smile where he could find the driver, Mr. Jones.

  From there, it was a simple matter to locate the blackguard. About eleven that night, he found Coachman Jones getting drunk at his favorite tavern, still living high on the proverbial hog. Red-cheeked and greasy with the pub fare he had gulped down, Jones was dressed in a new suit of clothes and buying rounds of ale for all his cronies.

  These worthies put forth a tepid show of loyalty, trying to interfere with Derek’s intent to dole out justice. A bit of a brawl had ensued, but Derek welcomed the chance to let the warrior within flex his muscles after all this damned civility.

  He sent his hapless opponents flying across tables, tumbling over wooden chairs, and sliding down the bar, their arms flailing. When they finally gave up and fled him, cringing, he tugged his clothes neatly into place and proceeded to teach Coachman Jones a lesson about taking advantage of a lady.

  By the time the innkeeper trudged over with a loaded musket, warning Derek to vacate the premises, he went peaceably, having successfully obtained the name and location of the pawnshop where Jones had hawked Lily’s earrings.

  It was his next destination.

  Considering the hour, the shop was closed, but the owner dwelled above-stairs and finally came hurrying down in answer to Derek’s relentless pounding on the door and hollered demands for service.

  The people passing by probably thought he was extremely drunk, especially since some ale had spilled on him during the tavern brawl and now he smelled of stale beer, but his mind had never been clearer.

  It was diamond-sharp, with a white-hot focus on Lily Balfour. Even when he was not consciously thinking about her, he could still feel her in his soul, his blood. The bond between them had taken on a life of its own and seemed to permeate every atom of his flesh.

  He was simply not going to fail her in getting her earrings back. He understood exactly what her sacrifice for his sake meant, and every time he thought of it, he was amazed all over again; he could only shake his head at the sheer richness and joy that he felt.

  As he paced outside the shop and waited for the owner to come down, he glanced around, marveling at the beauty of everything. The whole world seemed new, spangled with dancing moonlight. Even the narrow, dirty lane and shop’s dusty windows glimmered with its magical silver glow.

  Earlier today, upon his return to the garden party, Fanny Coates was the only one who had suspected the true cause of Derek’s absence. After all, she had also been there the night he had disappeared with Lily during the concert at Lord Fallow’s. But with a knowing laugh, the sophisticated lady had asked her taunting questions only softly, and Derek had admitted nothing.

  Though he certainly did not regret the luscious diversion that had taken him off purpose today, the fact remained that he had failed in his mission to have a look into Lundy’s files. He still needed that information. On the other hand, it surely wouldn’t be long before Lundy started noticing the overly warm affection, if not the outright panting lust, between Lily and him.

  Derek did not enjoy deceiving any man, but he supposed he had to pretend friendship a little while longer until he could finesse some answers out of her rough-mannered suitor. After all, once Lundy knew what was going on between the two of them, he was sure to slam the door on all of Derek’s questions.

  He already had a few ideas percolating in his brain about how to charm Lundy into tipping his hand. Edward liked his drink, and if Derek had to resort to getting the man thoroughly foxed in order to pump him for information about the committee, then so be it.

  Through the glass windows just then, he spotted the branched lights of a candelabra traveling through the darkened shop. A moment later, the front door opened, bells jangling.

  “I am truly sorry to take you from your leisure, sir,” Derek said to the shopkeeper as soon as the little, rumpled man appeared, still hooking the curled arms of his spectacles over his ears. “A grave injustice has been done to a young lady of my acquaintance and, er, it is imperative that it be corrected at once.”

  “Ah. Very good, sir.” The drowsy shopkeeper took note of Derek’s gentlemanly clothes and aristocratic bearing and made himself instantly accommodating. “Come right in.”

  Before long, the shopkeeper had brought out the
velvet trays of jewelry from his safe. With tremendous relief, Derek spotted Lily’s great-great-grandmother’s earrings at once and paid for them happily.

  As he wrote the man a draught from his account, he offered up a silent prayer of thanks that someone else had not bought the earrings before he was able to rescue them. Now it would just be a matter of finding the right moment to give them back to her…

  “Something else for a special lady, sir?” the shopkeeper tried to entice him, turning his attention to another tray of jewelry with an array of rings and bracelets, necklaces, earrings, and jeweled hairpins.

  Derek hesitated with an almost bashful smile as the man directed his attention to the row of golden rings tucked in between the folds of velvet. He snorted. “I already proposed once today,” he said in a breezy tone. “She laughed at me.”

  Besides, if he was going to buy a wedding ring, he’d hardly get it used.

  The shopkeeper nodded, chuckling. “Maybe something a bit more noncommittal, then. Something sparkly.” The man handed him a delicate silverwork bracelet studded with small clusters of diamonds and rubies.

  “Hmm. Very pretty. But to tell you the truth, I’m not sure how she’d react,” Derek mused aloud as he considered the bracelet, wondering if she’d be offended if he made a gift of jewelry to her after their episode on the ottoman.

  Knowing Lily and her haughty Balfour pride, she easily might get angry, thinking that this was his way of “thanking” her for favors granted, rather than a simple token of his affection.

  He put the bracelet aside. “Maybe I should play it safe.”

  “Funny. You don’t strike me as the sort.”

  Derek laughed and fingered a jeweled hairpin, thinking it a somewhat more conservative choice, but the shopkeeper eyed it with a worried look. “Bad idea?”

  “If it was my wife, she’d probably call it paltry.”

  “Oh. Right.” Derek frowned. He was not rich like Lundy or Lord Griffith or even his father, of course, but he could afford to be extravagant—intelligently so—when it came to things that gave him particular pleasure. Like his excellent black stallion from Tattersall’s.

  He put the hairpin back and scratched his head, at a loss.