Her Secret Fantasy

by Gaelen Foley

“You wouldn’t have brought a water canteen, would you?” Derek asked as he climbed over the fence as smoothly as though he did this sort of thing every day.

  “Afraid not,” she murmured, watching him in wonder as he jumped down with the stealthy grace of a big cat. “You must be parched.”

  “I’ll live. Let’s find your horse.”

  “This way, I think…”

  They hurried through the woods by the side of the road. In the darkness, along with her memory being somewhat blurred by the wild events of this day, it was hard to remember exactly where she had tethered Mary Nonesuch.

  Derek stalked beside her in patient silence. Now and then he called softly to his former patient. Lily could feel the protectiveness fairly emanating from him.

  “There she is,” Derek said suddenly, pointing to a large shadow among the trees.

  They rushed over to the docile mare. Though she had pulled free of her tether, she hadn’t gone far. The placid horse whickered and came toward them.

  Derek tightened the girth and lifted Lily into the saddle. “Now, go.”

  “What?”

  “She’s not strong enough to carry us both very far.”

  “Yes, she is!”

  “Don’t argue with me. Ride on. They’re going to come after you, and I’m going to stay here and stop them. Go to Gabriel—”

  “No! I came too close to losing you already. Come with me. Damn it, Derek, you’re hurt, you’re unarmed, and you’re ridiculously outnumbered—”

  “Lily, I can—”

  “I know you can! But I don’t want you to. You have nothing to prove to me! I just want you with me. Please, Derek. I can’t lose you.”

  He glanced at the sky, the moonlight silvering the elegant line of his throat. “Lily, if he forced himself on you, he’s got to die—”

  “No. It didn’t happen.”

  Slowly, he leveled a piercing gaze on her face. “Are you telling me the truth?”

  “Yes.” She admitted in a shaky tone, “He pushed me around a bit and made some threats, but I got out of there before anything worse happened. Derek, please. You have to come with me or I shall go mad. We’ve got to get out of here—together.”

  He looked at her in exasperation. “We’re not going to get very far together, Lily. The horse is too weak.”

  “Then we’ll get as far away as she can manage to take us and hide: Give her a chance, Derek. She’s stronger than you know. She might just surprise you. Now, for heaven’s sake, I saved your bloody life—get on this horse!”

  He gave her a sardonic look, then shrugged off his protests and relented, springing up onto the mare’s back behind her. Reaching around Lily, he took the reins with one arm hooked around her waist, holding her securely. Wasting no more time, he urged the mare on quickly through the woods until they came out onto the road.

  “Come on, girl. Let’s just hope you’re faster than you look.” He nudged Mary Nonesuch into a swift canter, and they were off, sweeping down the country lane.

  The sorrel mare seemed to sense their desperation, and, as if ignoring the still-healing sores on her back, she strove heroically to give them all she could, stretching out her canter to an all-out gallop through the darkness.

  Frankly, Lily was more worried about Derek. “How’s your head? Your eyes?”

  His answer was a noncommittal grunt. “So, you thought you’d break into Lundy’s office,” he said in soft, terse displeasure by her ear. “Not one of your better ideas, darling.”

  “Well, I know that now, don’t I? But before you scold me, I learned a few things that you’ll want to know.”

  “Like what?”

  “Mainly, that you were right. Edward’s in deep financial trouble—and I discovered why. He speculated away three hundred thousand pounds in some canal-building scheme.”

  “Canals?” he echoed, mulling this. “Well done, Lily.”

  “There’s more. Mrs. Lundy did not go to Jamaica for her gout. I found a cryptic letter from her in Edward’s office that hinted at some sort of trouble with his plantations there.”

  “The plantations. Of course.” Derek paused. “Lundy must be selling them. You see, once he thought he had me down, he admitted he took the money. But he claimed he had already taken measures to replace what he had ‘borrowed.’ Sending his mother off to sell his plantations quickly and quietly would have been a good start at replacing the sum.”

  “It would certainly draw less attention than if he began selling off his properties here. Everyone would soon know he was in dun territory, and then whatever social rank he’d gained would have been lost.”

  “Don’t forget, he also had changed his marriage plans, choosing Bess Kingsley and her dowry over you.”

  “Right,” Lily answered grimly.

  “He was selling off some jewelry, too,” Derek murmured. “Probably hoping he could keep himself afloat until his mother came back and his marriage went through. Thus the wild-goose chase he sent me on.”

  “Hm?”

  Derek snorted in disgust. “He kept trying to point me toward every man on the committee other than himself.”

  “Well, that fire at the stable will have been his undoing,” Lily said. “I saw him back there. He kept groaning he was ruined.”

  “Then that means he’s at his most dangerous right now,” Derek murmured. “His back is to the wall. He’s got nothing left to lose.”

  “God, you could have died.” Leaning back against him a little, she reached up and touched his face. “I’m so glad you’re all right.”

  “Thanks to you.” He kissed her fingers as she caressed him. “I can’t believe you saved my life,” he whispered.

  “I’m just happy I succeeded.”

  “You were astoundingly brave in that stable tonight, do you know that?”

  She smiled.

  He kissed her cheek as they rode on. “I meant what I said back there, Lily,” he whispered. “I love you.”

  She rested her head against his cheek, nestling against him. “I love you, too. And I know you meant it. You always say exactly what you mean, don’t you?”

  “Afraid so.”

  “It’s one of your loveliest qualities.”

  “Then in that case, you won’t mind my asking why you smell like ham?”

  She let out a wry snort. “Never you mind it, you rogue! It’s the price I had to pay to save your hide.”

  “Oh, I don’t mind. It just gives me one more reason to want to eat you.”

  “You are such a nasty man.”

  “It’s one of my ‘loveliest’ qualities.” With a wicked laugh, he urged their flagging horse on. “Come on, girl. No slowing down yet.”

  “Keep going, Mary. We need you.”

  “She can’t keep up this pace much longer. We have to get off the road now,” Derek said. His voice turned grim. “They’re coming.”

  “Can you see them?” Lily asked with a fresh wave of fear, craning her neck for an anxious look behind them.

  “No, but Mary can hear them,” Derek answered, nodding at the horse’s ears. Lily marveled at his ability to read the animal’s subtlest cues, but then, he was used to relying on a horse to save his life in all of those cavalry charges. “Hold on.”

  Derek pulled on the reins, letting their blowing mount slow to a bumpy trot. Turning the horse off the road, he urged the animal down the embankment and into the cover of the trees.

  Lily did not know whose property they were on, but for several moments more, Derek guided Mary Nonesuch through the rolling countryside, moonlit meadows interspersed with thickly shadowed groves.

  Derek hurried the mare over the next rise, then, a few hundred yards from the road, they sought cover in amongst a stand of trees. Derek slipped down from the saddle and beckoned to Lily to crouch lower over the mare’s withers. He went forward to hold the bridle and keep their horse quiet and still.

  Holding her breath, Lily waited, watching the road. She was nervous, but Derek’s nearness made her f
eel safe. He reached over and laid a comforting hand atop hers as Edward’s men came thundering into view on the section of road that they had just evacuated.

  There were four of them, racing closer, coming around the bend. But while Derek and Lily watched in tense silence from their little grove, the brutes never paused.

  Instead, they went barreling on toward Town, kicking up a great cloud of dust in their wake.

  Lily did not exhale until Edward’s henchmen were well out of sight. That was too close.

  Derek was also silent as he watched them pass. He waited a couple of moments more, making sure they showed no signs of coming back. At length, he turned to her with a rueful smile.

  “I think we’re in the clear.” Releasing the horse’s bridle, he approached her. “I think we could all three do with a bit of a respite before we move on?”

  As Lily nodded in fervent agreement, a raucous flurry of quacking reached them from the wooded area across the field. They both turned to look, then exchanged a puzzled glance.

  “That sounded like a duck,” Lily said.

  “Ducks mean water,” Derek answered with a wily smile. “Come on.”

  Lily jumped down off the horse and walked beside him as they left the grove and crossed the moonlit field. Derek glanced back at the road, but there was nobody on it. Lily was glad to put more distance between it and them. The farther they could get away from Edward’s men, the better.

  He was right, she thought. They could both use a break to sit and rest a little, hopefully find some water to drink after that torturous fire, and regroup before figuring out their next move.

  With the trusty Mary Nonesuch between them, they walked up a gentle rise, and when they went down the other side of it, they could no longer see the road at all. It was now perhaps a quarter-mile behind them.

  Before long, they entered cautiously into the woods. Lily took Derek’s hand, letting him lead her through the darkness. Overhead the swaying branches creaked, but in moments, they came to a clearing.

  “Those are ducks, all right,” Derek murmured.

  Lily and he exchanged a fond smile, and then both paused, staring at the huge, tranquil lake before them.

  A large, disgruntled clan of ducks was indeed in residence, trying to bed down for the night among the clumps of pussy willows around the grassy banks, only they couldn’t stop bickering long enough to settle down.

  Farther out on the water, however, all was serene. Starlight sparkled on its dark, glassy surface, beckoning to them. After the ordeal of smoke and flames, the cool lake looked like heaven.

  “Have you ever seen anything more beautiful than that?” Lily whispered, watching the ripples passing over the shimmering water, driven on by the playful night breeze.

  “Yes.”

  When she glanced over at Derek, he was gazing at her.

  She smiled at him with a blush rising in her cheeks.

  He smiled back. But the lake was more temptation than Derek could resist after nearly being roasted alive.

  He let go of her hand, stepped back, and pulled his shirt off over his head. “I’m going in,” he announced with great gusto.

  “Oh!” Lily blurted out, blinking at the dazzling sight of his magnificent body, each sculpted ridge of muscle kissed by moonlight.

  “You’re coming with me,” he informed her, then gave her a wink and strode ahead.

  “I—” Lily started to point out it was improper, but then she recalled her hesitation on the night of the masked ball.

  She had refused him then when he had asked her to go out on the lake with him in a gondola and take a moonlight swim. Naked, as he had so roguishly specified at the time.

  But she was no longer that woman, that tense, frightened creature in a cage.

  Knowing him had changed her. Because of him, she no longer had to hide.

  Fate had given her another chance, and this time she refused to waste it.

  “Well?” Derek prompted from the water’s edge, where he stood on one foot to pull off a boot.

  She flashed a cheeky grin. “Well, yourself, Major.” With that, she pulled away the last ribbon holding up her hair; she shook out her tresses as they tumbled free around her shoulders and strutted past him toward the water, starting to take off her dress.

  He watched her go by, his mouth agape, then he let out a wicked “Yes!”

  She shot him a sparkling glance over her shoulder as she bared it.

  He was watching her in amazement, his rapt gaze trailing eagerly down her body. Lily thrilled to the desire in his stare, but as she looked toward the water again, she realized exactly where all of this was headed…and she remembered the secret she had sworn she’d never tell.

  She stopped, both hands still holding onto her torn bodice.

  Her former scheme to lie to Edward about her lack of innocence was one thing, but this was Derek. She longed for total union with him; she felt so close to him right now after all they had just been through. And she trusted him.

  Hopefully not in vain.

  She knew then that the moment of truth had arrived. She wished she could deny it. Surely this was not the time to burden him with something so dire after he had nearly been burned alive. But they could not be one until she had confessed her terrible secret. And they had to be.

  They both craved completion in each other’s arms.

  There was no way around this. She loved him and respected him too much even to try to deceive him.

  But dear Lord, what was he going to say?

  She did not know, but somehow she summoned up all her stoic Balfour resolve.

  If he could not love her because of this, it was best to know it now. If he was going to reject her for her fall from grace, she would just as soon keep her clothes on and retrieve whatever broken pieces of her heart were left after he shattered it.

  Facing the lake, her back was to Derek, but she could still feel him watching her.

  “What’s wrong, beauty?”

  She said nothing for a moment, closing her eyes. Dear God, she prayed, please don’t let him hate me. Oh, this was much more terrifying than rushing into any burning stable.

  “Lily?” He had walked over to her and now laid his hand gently on her shoulder, turning her to him. “Darling, what’s wrong?”

  She looked at him and found herself awed anew by his wild male beauty. His long, tangled hair was blue-black in the indigo night; silver shadows sculpted his angular face and stone-carved body. His pale eyes gleamed in the moonlight. She touched him in helpless wonder, running her fingers down his smooth, gorgeous chest.

  I want you so much.

  “What is it?” he whispered, gazing at her in concern.

  “Oh, Derek,” she breathed, then shook her head, casting about for her courage. “There’s something that I have to tell you, but I…I don’t know how.”

  He captured her hand where it rested on his solar plexus and lifted it to his lips. “Lily, I love you. You can tell me anything. Whatever it is, I’m here for you.”

  She stared at him with a wince of uncertainty, and then lowered her lashes. “Very well.”

  He studied her, waiting.

  Lily squared her shoulders. “Edward wasn’t the only one who was duped by a fraud. I was, too, when I was just fifteen. He said he loved me, and I believed him.” She braced herself and said quietly, “I am not a virgin, Derek.”

  He was perfectly still.

  “That is why I chose a man like Edward,” she forged on in a shaky tone. “I knew I could trick someone like him. Lie to someone like him. But not to you. I love you so much.” Without warning, tears misted her eyes. “I have so much respect for you, Derek. I only wish I was worthy of your respect, in turn—”

  Her words were cut off as he pulled her into his arms and hugged her. He cupped her head under the crook of his chin, and his whispered words were fierce. “I have always respected you, but never so much as right now.”

  Tears flooded her eyes as she wrapped her arms
around his waist and held on tight. “I don’t want to lose you.”

  “You’re not going to.”

  “If this changes how you feel toward me, I’ll understand—”

  “It doesn’t change a thing.” He captured her face between his hands and tilted her head back to meet his intense stare. “I would still die for you.”

  She looked into his eyes and sobbed once, most ungracefully.

  “Shh,” he whispered, pulling her close again.

  She shed her tears against his warm chest while he held her in tender silence, petting her head to comfort her. But she could feel him brooding on her confession.

  “Who hurt you, Lily?” he murmured at length. “Tell me his name.”

  She glanced up at him warily. “Why?”

  “So I can do what must be done.” The peculiar tone of his voice sent chills down her spine—a calm, soothing surface with an undertone of cold murder.

  She pulled back. “That was not the point of my telling you.”

  “If this bastard hurt you, he needs to pay.”

  “Grandfather already dealt with him.”

  “An old man?” he cried angrily.

  Lily flinched.

  “Sorry,” he amended, restraining his fury with visible effort. “How?”

  “He made him leave England and told him that if he ever came back, he’d be killed. He fled to the Continent—where he’s probably seducing young Italian girls right now like he did me.”

  “I would not have left him alive. Didn’t anyone insist he marry you?”

  Lily swallowed hard, remembering her heartbreak at the news. She had been so thoroughly deceived. “He already had a wife, as it turned out. And two babies.”

  Derek cursed under his breath.

  “Grandfather spared his life for their sake.”

  “Why?” he bit out. “Because he saw what growing up without a father did to you?”

  Lily looked at him imploringly.

  His answering stare gentled; he must have realized how much his anger was upsetting her. When he spoke again, he had chased the edge of bitterness from his voice. “If you don’t wish to reveal his name, at least tell me what manner of man he was—what manner of man with a wife and children goes out and seduces a fifteen-year-old girl?”