by Penelope Sky
Now the option was laid before me. I had to give up my line of work for the woman I loved. “I’m just the messenger, the neutral third-party. I get paid to kill someone. Nothing personal. My victims only care about the person who ordered the hit, not who pulled the trigger.”
“Grief does crazy things to people. You expect them to be that logical? If someone killed my wife, you think I would stop at the person who ordered the hit? No. I would go after every single person involved. If you really believe you’re immune, then you’re a lot dumber than I anticipated.”
“I would be able to handle anything that came our way.”
He sighed. “Your arrogance scares me more than your stupidity.”
“You don’t feel confident that you could protect your wife?” I asked incredulously.
“I do. Because I’ve removed myself from the possibility of threat. I don’t give people a reason to kill me. Therefore, it doesn’t happen. You, on the other hand, are making an enormous list of possible attackers. Every night she stays with you, I grow more uncomfortable by the second. When I was your age, I was arrogant too. I didn’t care whether I lived or died because I had nothing in my life so valuable. When I met my wife, nothing changed in the beginning. But as I fell in love with her, I realized she was the most valuable thing on the planet. Guns and bulletproof vests wouldn’t protect her. Only disappearing would. I made a sacrifice that was hard to make, but she was worth it. So tell me, is Vanessa worth the sacrifice? Because if she is, I’ll take you a lot more seriously.”
Now he’d put me on the spot, asked me a question point-blank. He wasn’t going to give me much time to think about it. I never wanted to leave my business because it gave me a sense of purpose, the way art gave Vanessa a sense of purpose. Every person needed something to live for. All I’d ever known was killing. It paid well, and it gave me a serious adrenaline rush.
He kept staring at me, not dropping his gaze until I gave an answer. “I asked you a question.”
“And it’s a pretty heavy question, Crow. I need time to think about it seriously before I spit out an answer. I don’t want to say something I regret, especially when I can’t take it back.”
“I don’t see what there’s to think about,” he said coldly. “You would either walk away from that life to protect her, or you wouldn’t. Which is it?”
“Vanessa would never expect me to quit working for her.”
“No. But I do. You want my daughter? Prove it. Prove to me that you’ll take care of her.”
My temper was rising, but I did my best to keep it sheathed. “I need money to take care of her.”
“You have more money than you’ll ever need. You can retire—we both know it.”
Looked like he dug into me pretty extensively if he knew my finances.
“You do it for your own personal reasons. You get off on putting a bullet in someone’s head.”
“Like you’re any different,” I countered. “You were just like me when you were my age. I’ve never been unclear about the man that I am, but you continue to sugarcoat the man you used to be.”
“I’m not sugarcoating it. I just don’t think it’s relevant.”
“And I don’t think it’s relevant for me because I’m not the same guy anymore. Vanessa changed me—for good.”
“Then quit,” he snapped. “Walk away. My daughter deserves a man who will protect her, not bring danger to her front door.”
I brought my hands together, my knuckles starting to ache from the anger in my veins. “I kill bad men, Crow. I don’t kill random men who don’t deserve to die. I’ve killed more sex traffickers than any country’s law enforcement. I’ve killed men who’ve beaten their wives or tortured their prisoners. I’m not a hero by any means because I’m doing it for the money, but it’s not like I murder innocent people.”
“Spin it however you want, it doesn’t make a difference. Once your feet hit the puddle, you leave tracks everywhere you go. One day, you’ll take the wrong mission and wind up dead because of it. I don’t want Vanessa to be caught up in the middle of that.”
I understood his request, but that didn’t make me want to cooperate. “I run the business with my boys. They’re family to me. We met on the streets, and since we didn’t have anyone else in our lives, we became brothers. Asking me to leave is asking me to turn my back on them.”
“I don’t give a shit. If they’re really your family, they’ll understand.”
Maybe. But they wouldn’t be happy about it.
“So?” he pressed. “What’s it going to be?”
“I can’t give you an answer right now.” I wasn’t going to give one until I was absolutely certain I could commit to it.
He gave me a disappointed look. “Maybe Vanessa was wrong about you.”
I didn’t know what that meant, but I didn’t like it.
“She said you would give it up if she asked.”
“I haven’t given my answer yet.”
“Because you don’t want to give her what she wants,” he said quietly. “What I want.”
“This is unfair. No one asked this of you.”
“Because no one had to,” he snapped. “I stepped up. I did the right thing for my wife and son. I shouldn’t even have to ask you this. Neither should she.”
“She’s never asked me.”
“My wife never asked me. A man never makes his wife ask for anything. He lives his whole life for her, even if she doesn’t see the sacrifices that he makes.”
“Fine,” I countered. “If I walk away, are you guaranteeing your acceptance?” I wasn’t going to leave my business without that reassurance. It was time for him to put his money where his mouth was.
He drank from his glass, silent.
“I asked you a question.”
The bottom of his glass hit the table. “Don’t push me.”
“If you want me to give up one of the most important things in my life, I want collateral. You give me your word that I’m accepted into this family, and I’ll resign tomorrow. You get what you want, and I get what I want.”
He stared at me, refusing to give me an answer.
“What’s it going to be? If Vanessa worth the sacrifice or not?” I was turning his words against him, putting him on the spot and forcing him to make the hardest decision of his life. It was disrespectful and risky on my part, but how could I earn the confidence of a man if I didn’t stand up to him? I had to show him I wasn’t afraid to stand up to anyone.
“You’re the one proving yourself to me, asshole. I’ve already proven my love for my daughter a million times over. The fact that I’m sitting here, sharing my prized scotch with a man I despise, is more than enough proof. If you want my daughter, you have to earn it. You may be rich and powerful, but that’s not enough. Nothing is enough when we’re talking about Vanessa Barsetti, the most amazing young woman on this planet. I want to see more than you’ve given me, more loyalty, more sacrifice.”
“I’ve sacrificed everything for her,” I said between clenched teeth.
“No. Not everything. Not yet.”
Just when I’d made progress with her father, that progress was destroyed.
He seemed to want to accept me, but he also wanted to sabotage me. He was looking for any reason to get rid of me, to find the smoking gun that could banish me from his life forever. He wanted to prove to his daughter that he was making a genuine effort, but he also wanted to prove that he was right.
I wasn’t good enough for her.
It was a stupid point to prove because it was obvious. I never said I was good enough for her. No man was. I just knew I loved her more than anyone else, would die for her in a heartbeat. That was good enough for me.
I worked in the warehouse for the rest of the day, moving heavy boxes everywhere and making sure none of the precious merchandise fell to the floor and shattered. The spring had brought heat into the land, and by the end of the afternoon, my t-shirt was soaked.
I stepped outside so the
fresh air could blow over my skin and lick away the sweat on my arms and neck. The view of the vineyards was as beautiful as the paintings Vanessa made. Her art showed me what she loved about this land, and I recognized the view she’d stared at so many times. I felt like I was connected to her, having stood in a place she stood before.
Footsteps sounded to my left, and I turned to see Mrs. Barsetti walk toward me. She had a cold bottle of water in her hand, and she extended it to me.
I gave her a nod in gratitude and took it, ignoring the pistol that sat on the hip of her jeans. She’d been carrying since Crow started to carry his. He probably made her do it, wanting her to be protected even if he wasn’t around.
But she obviously wasn’t scared of me. Her stupid gun wouldn’t have any effect on me if she pulled the trigger.
Mrs. Barsetti possessed youthful beauty that still made her a very pretty woman. She was slender with an hourglass figure, having a body that didn’t seem like it had given birth to two children, let alone a son who towered over her. She kept her skin safe from the sun, so her face and neck were still unlined and smooth. She had blue eyes as I did, something neither of her children had inherited.
I twisted off the cap and took a long drink. I consumed half the contents before I tightened the cap again. “Thanks.”
“Of course. There’s water in the break room. You’ve proven yourself to be an ox, so please help yourself when you need something.”
I worked myself hard, constantly trying to prove to the Barsetti family that I was built like a machine. I could go on forever, even if I got a migraine from dehydration. I could work ten times as hard as any other employee they had. My strength and endurance were unquestionable.
I waited for her to walk away, assuming she didn’t want anything to do with me. She seemed to be more understanding than her husband, but she was also more restrained. She basically told me she was only participating because she knew her daughter loved me.
Mrs. Barsetti brought her hands together as she stared at me. “My husband told me you guys had a long talk…”
“Yes. And it ended the same way all the others do.”
“I know you’re frustrated. You do a decent job hiding it.”
“It doesn’t matter how frustrated I am. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know,” she said quietly. “I admire you for putting up with all of us. I know my husband and brother-in-law aren’t the easiest to get along with. They’ve both been very stubborn. It’s just how they are. And when it comes to Vanessa…they get a little crazy.”
“I get crazy when it comes to her too.”
“Yes, I know,” she said with a chuckle. “Why else would you be here every day?” She stepped onto the dirt path that moved down the hill toward the vineyards. “Walk with me.”
I was timid whenever it came to this woman. “I’m not sure your husband would like that. I’m trying to get him to like me…not give him another excuse to hate me.”
She patted her gun on her hip. “Don’t underestimate me. I’m an incredible shot.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about.”
“Don’t worry, he knows what I’m doing.” She kept walking. “And he knows I can handle myself.”
I followed her, and we moved into the rows of grapes. She explained the system to me, how the fruit was harvested before it was processed in the warehouse. She picked grapes right off the vine and popped them into her mouth, not caring if there was a bit of dust on them.
I didn’t care how wine was made, but it was nice to talk about something else besides my worthiness of being accepted by the Barsetti family.
“That’s a quick tour,” she said as she kept walking. “I learned all of this when I started helping Crow at the winery. For the longest time, he wanted me to stay home and get fat, but I insisted I needed to be involved in something.”
“He wants me to stay home and get fat too.”
“I know,” she said. “But that’s a very different situation.” She stopped at one spot in the row and faced the rest of the fields as they stretched into a valley. “We’ve been growing the vineyards for the past thirty years. Now we have locations everywhere, and there’s more work that can possibly be handled. Cane managed the wineries in other places, but the work never seems to end. We always hoped Conway would take over, but obviously, he has no interest in it. Then we were hoping Vanessa would want to take over…but she seems more interested in artwork.”
“It’s what she’s meant to do.” I wouldn’t pity her parents for not having someone to pass their livelihood on to. Vanessa was so painfully talented that it would be a disgrace if she spent her time doing anything else. “I know she’s going to be huge someday, have paintings hanging in museums.”
Mrs. Barsetti stared at me, the corner of her mouth rising in a smile. “You really believe in her.”
“Absolutely. Anytime I look at her pieces, I feel everything she wants me to feel. That’s impressive because I’m not an emotional man. But she makes me feel love, beauty, peace, heartbreak…with just paint and a canvas. I’m sorry she’s not interested in taking over the family business, but her destiny lies elsewhere.”
“I know. Her father and I always dreamed both of our children would want the business so we could see them all the time. But of course, they have their own lives.”
“Vanessa wants to be close to you, whether she’s working at the winery or not.”
“Yes, I noticed that.” She smiled. “She was so eager to get out of here when she first moved out, but now she seems to miss her roots.”
“She does. She wants to settle down her and start a family. She’d live right next door to you if she could.”
She smiled wider. “You have no idea how happy that makes me…”
“You should hear the way she talks about you and Crow. She shows you nothing but respect and affection. Anytime I’ve ever tried to undermine you, she’s told me off for it.” I kept up my transparency, wanting them to trust me to always be truthful.
“I appreciate your honesty…”
“But I see why she feels that way. It’s a beautiful place, and I see the way all the Barsettis love her. She has a family, a community of people who adore her. Sometimes it baffles me that she’s still fighting for me even though her entire family hates me, especially when she could have another man in a heartbeat.” Vanessa could have any man she wanted. All she had to do was flash her pretty smile, and they would fall at her feet.
“Vanessa had never had an intense relationship with a man before you came along. Whenever she told me about the men she was seeing, it was with forced enthusiasm. There was always something about them she didn’t like, even if they checked out on paper. But when she met you…I’ve never seen her be so passionate about anyone. Honestly, you make me uneasy, but I trust my daughter…trust that she knows what she’s doing. She’s a smart woman and doesn’t put up with bullshit. Therefore, you must not be bullshit.”
“I’m not.”
She started to walk away. “You know how Crow used to be at your age. You know how our relationship used to be. It wasn’t a fairy tale. He wasn’t Prince Charming. But I fell so deeply in love with him that I didn’t have a choice but to spend the rest of my life with him. I’ve never had any regrets about the decision I made. I accepted him for exactly who he was, all the darkness and all the light. How can I tell my daughter to leave you when I didn’t leave my husband?”
I appreciated her bluntness. “I couldn’t agree more.”
“But I still feel a warning in my heart when I’m around you, like this could be a big mistake. You’ve wanted to kill me…” She turned around and looked me in the eye, like she was searching for my vengeance. “I killed your father…and you’ve wanted to kill me ever since.” She was challenging me, luring me out into the fields where we could speak openly about the divide between us.
I used to want to stab her the way she stabbed my father. This woman took everything away from me. My inh
eritance was given to someone else. My mother had to become a whore to support us. We were punished for a crime we never committed.
“Will you ever be able to look past that?” she whispered. “Look past what I did?”
Her beauty masked her coldness. She was a powerful woman just like Vanessa, the kind who didn’t show fear even if she was terrified. Vanessa got her strength from her father as well as her mother. I could see it. “I already have.”
“Because I’m not sorry about what I did. Your father did terrible things to me. He didn’t just rape me but beat me for the hell of it. He let his friends take turns with me then injected me with drugs to wake me up when I passed out from the pain.”
I flinched at the announcement, feeling pity for this woman even though I hardly knew her.
“He got what was coming to him, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I loved watching him die on the floor, his blood spilling everywhere. Ever since he died, I’ve slept like a baby.”
I held her stare, surprised I didn’t feel any rage at her words. Knowing the same thing happened to my mother had changed my perspective on women. I didn’t want them to be used for their bodies, treated like livestock rather than humans. I couldn’t rape Vanessa because of that reason, because it was innately wrong.
I didn’t want to be that kind of man.
“You did the right thing,” I said quietly. “You deserved justice. You deserved peace.”
She tilted her head slightly, regarding me with focused eyes.
“I’ve always been resentful of the life that was taken from me, the wealth and security. My mother would still be alive right now, and I wouldn’t have had to live on the streets. Losing my father wasn’t what killed me inside…it was losing my mother. And that never would have happened if you hadn’t killed him. I’ve been jealous of the life Vanessa has, having two loving parents and a mansion, along with a family business. But I’ve overcome my jealousy and pain…because your daughter completes me.” She kept the shadows out of my heart and sheathed my anger with her love. “I’ve learned to accept what I lost…because I have her.” I hadn’t said those words to Vanessa, that I’d become so pathetically dependent on her for my happiness. But she knew…I was certain she knew.