Of Cinder and Bone

by Kyoko M

  “I’ve seen angrier men in my day. You’ll be fine.” Richard gave him the chain side of the fastener. “Want it on the trim or in the jam?”

  “Trim.”

  “Alright, about there is level,” he said, pointing. “How’d you talk the apartment complex into letting you do this?”

  Jack snorted. “Showed them pictures of what the asshole did to my place. They said yes in a hurry.”

  He drilled the fastener into place and then tested the door to make sure it was secure. Afterward, Richard went into the kitchen and tossed his son a beer. They both popped one open each and drank quietly for a bit.

  “That asshole,” Richard said, his blue eyes hard. “He get away?”

  “Yes and no. He’s in a coma. Don’t know if he’ll ever come out of it.”

  “How do you feel about that?”

  Jack shrugged. “It’s what it is. Can’t get any better revenge than being brain dead. Nature is the great equalizer sometimes.”

  “Yeah. Guess so.”

  Silence. Jack put the drill and the pencil away. He sipped a bit more of the beer before speaking again, his palms flat to the counter. “She accepting your calls yet?”

  “No.”

  Jack winced. “How long has it been since the fight?”

  “Happened right before you left for Tokyo.”

  Jack shook his head. “She just needs time to be mad. You know her. She’s got a hard shell, but deep down, she’s all mush.”

  “I think we both know it won’t be that easy.”

  “No, it won’t. But if there’s one person you’ve always fought for, it’s her.”

  Richard eyed him. “That’s a backhanded compliment, isn’t it?”

  Jack straightened up. “Do you really want to start down that road right now?”

  “I didn’t come here to fight, kid.”

  “No, but you’re always ready for one, aren’t you?”

  “Goddamn it, boy,” he spat, shaking his head. “You’d slap the Devil in the face if you could reach him. I almost lost you. You could have died over there and I would have never seen you again, and yet all you want to do is start another fight, even after all of that. Do you want to take a shot at me? I’ll stand still and everything. What the hell is it going to take for you to let it go?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe an apology. Maybe acknowledgment that both of us fucked up and none of it should have gone down the way it did. I don’t blame all of it on you, Dad. But I’m tired of walking on eggshells. I did that the whole time I was a kid. Not once did I ever talk back to you before that day and yet you still act like I’m some incredible disappointment. I did everything you ever asked me to do. What more did you want from me?”

  “You were hiding, Rhett. All I wanted to do was get you off your ass to become the man I knew you could be. You are probably the smartest person I’ve ever met and that’s why I didn’t want you hiding in your room reading books. You were holding yourself back by letting those little knuckleheads push you around. I just wanted you to grow up and reach your potential, and I thought that…” He sighed and raked a hand through his salt-and-pepper streaked hair. “I thought that if I taught you to defend yourself, you’d push back. You’d realize you had your own kind of power and they couldn’t take that from you. I was wrong to push so hard. I’ve got my own set of issues that I haven’t dealt with either, and some of those came through while I was teaching you. I’m sorry you had to be a part of that. I’m sorry I let you lie to your mother. I’m sorry I kept my mouth shut because I was scared of losing her.”

  Jack stared into his mostly empty beer can before draining it. “Did you tell her that?”

  Richard grunted. “Not yet.”

  “Why not?”

  “Couldn’t. She punched me in the face and then left.”

  Jack’s jaw slammed through the earth’s crust. “She what?”

  Richard winced. “Hell of a right hook on that woman.”

  Jack rubbed his face and muttered, “My God, no wonder none of my relationships ever work out.”

  “What was that?”

  “Nothing. How are you planning on winning her back?” Silence. Jack eyed his father. “This is the part where you say some ridiculous romantic-comedy-level bullshit that is so heartwarming that she’ll be compelled to takeyou back. Anytime now, Dad.”

  “Maybe,” Richard said quietly. “Maybe I don’t deserve to win her back. I lied to her for over ten years, Rhett. That’s a long time. And it says a lot of unflattering things about me.”

  Jack made a show of patting himself down, pockets and all. Richard frowned. “The hell are you doing?”

  “Oh no, I think I forgot the confetti for the pity party you’re throwing yourself right now.”

  The older man scowled. “Wiseass.”

  “You know I’m right. Yeah, you screwed up, and so did I. Cry yourself a river and then go win her back.”

  “You say that like it’s easy. Have you met your mother? She’s more stubborn than a donkey convention.”

  The doorbell rang. Jack went to it and paid the pizza guy. He then walked over and handed his father the pizza. “Mushroom and Italian sausage, extra cheese. Her favorite. Now get your ass in that truck and go apologize to my mother.”

  Richard glared. “Since when do you call the shots?”

  Jack snapped one extra beer off the pack and shoved the rest into his father’s arms on top of the pizza box. “Since the only thing worse than you is you without Mom. Thanks for the beer. Kick rocks.”

  Richard sighed. “Lord forgive me. I’m going to murder my own son.”

  Jack smirked. “Murder later. Romance now.”

  Richard grunted again and headed for the door. “Call me in the morning, kid.”

  “Will do. Bye, Dad.”

  “Bye, son.” He shut the door behind him. Jack locked it, smiling as he finished his beer.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  EXHUME

  Kamala nearly wept in relief as she shuffled up the front steps to her apartment, unlocked the door, and shut it. She didn’t even bother to look at the time on the oven as she passed the kitchen. She just dropped her purse beside the couch, flopped down on the cushion, and laid her head on Faye’s lap. The blonde engineer’s eyes were trained on the episode of Penny Dreadful on their flat-screen TV. She sipped her Corona and smoothed her free hand through her roommate’s messy locks.

  “So, how was your day?”

  Kamala stared at the ceiling. “My mother told me they were disowned by my father’s family until I was born. I can’t tell if I’m angry or confused.”

  Faye nodded. “Sounds about right.”

  “Oh, and Jack’s in love with me.”

  Faye glanced down at her. “No shit? Really?”

  Kamala pursed her lips and squinted up at her. “Bloody hell. You knew, didn’t you?”

  Faye opened her mouth, closed it, and then returned her gaze to the TV without saying anything.

  Kamala shut her eyes. “I hate you.”

  Faye sighed. “It wasn’t my place to say anything.”

  “But you knew. This is your fault.”

  “What is my fault?”

  “I don’t know what to do!” she exclaimed, throwing up her hands. “I have no idea how I feel about him now. How did this get so damned complicated all of the sudden?”

  Faye chuckled. “Welcome to the dating world, Kam. It’s supposed to be complicated.”

  “Well, how do I un-complicate it?”

  “Simple. Think about it this way: what is the biggest reason you’re confused?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Yes, you do. It’s because you’re friends. Best friends, in fact. You can’t think of Jack in the context of a lover because he’s your best friend and he has been for a while. That label made him safe. You never had to think of him as a potential suit
or. Now that he told you how he felt, it’s completely flipped your perception upside down. Now you do have to think about him romantically, and it’s knocked everything askew. Your relationship was unbalanced this whole time, but you never knew about it until now.”

  Kamala paused, digesting her words. “Alright, that seemed to make sense. Keep going.”

  “Right. So, let’s try to remove the friendship aspect and shelve it for later. Let’s pretend you and I went to a bar and Jack’s sitting there drinking a beer. He smiles at you. You smile back. What would happen next?”

  “I suppose he’d offer to buy me a drink. We’d probably move somewhere quieter to chat. He’d ask me what I do for a living. I’d answer and then ask the same.” She covered her face with both hands. “This is so weird.”

  “Relax. Be objective. Do you think he’s attractive?”

  “Yes.”

  “See?”

  “See what?”

  “When I asked you about meeting him at a bar, you hesitated, but when I asked if you find him attractive, you didn’t hesitate. On some level, you already knew that you think he’s attractive. That’s one point in his favor, at least.”

  Kamala dropped her hands, wrinkling her nose as she thought about it. “I suppose that’s right. After all, I did initiate our kiss.”

  Faye stared wide-eyed at her. “You kissed him?”

  “Oh, calm down, it was a ruse to distract the guy who was tailing us.”

  Faye arched an eyebrow. “Was it a good kiss?”

  Kamala thought about it. “Actually, yes. And he made a rather adorable face afterward.”

  “Two points in his favor. Now let’s focus outside of the physical. You’ve seen his lifestyle. He’s messy, but in the clutter-type way, not the usual gross-slob-bachelor way. Would that bother you in the long run?”

  “Perhaps.”

  “What about his behavior? Does he do anything that drives you crazy?”

  “He tries to protect me a lot. He’s down on himself more than he should be. He has a temper, although it’s mostly directed at things that frustrate him. If he gets inside his own head too much, he can talk himself out of something he should be doing. He’s not big on sharing his feelings, either. You practically have to drag things out of him.”

  “Okay, then you understand his limitations. Let’s try it another way: what if everything goes right? The two of you go on a date and it’s amazing. Where do you move from there? Do you know what kind of future he wants? Does it gel with the one you’ve pictured for yourself?”

  “I… don’t know,” Kamala admitted softly. “I always assumed he wanted the American dream: a house with a white picket fence and two kids and a dog, but we’ve never quite had that conversation. As for me, I haven’t planned that far out considering how uncertain my future is. I’m not a big fan of marriage, with what I’ve had to deal with from my family.”

  “I see. Well, then now you have a couple of things to weigh against each other. The two of you could hit a homerun, or you could completely crash and burn. Do you think your friendship could survive a breakup?”

  Kamala stayed silent for a long while. “I’d like to think so. He’s a sweet man. I can’t imagine he’d let it turn him into a monster.”

  “Good. Then you have food for thought. My advice is that you should sleep on it. No one said you had to figure it out right this second. If he’s really in love with you, he’ll wait for as long as you need.”

  “Alright.” Kamala sat up. “Tell me something. Is the reason you didn’t pursue him because you knew he had feelings for me?”

  Faye blinked at her in surprise. “No, actually. He turned me down.”

  Kamala stared. “Seriously?”

  “He didn’t tell you that?”

  “No. He said no to you? And meant it?”

  Faye smirked. “Hard to believe, isn’t it?”

  “Impossible, even.”

  “Well, I guess the guy really has it bad for you, huh?”

  “Guess so.” Kamala paused. “Faye?”

  “Yeah?”

  She took a deep breath. “If I pursue this relationship, I don’t want there to be any awkwardness between us. I’d like you two to be friends. Or at the very least, I’d like you to be civil around each other.”

  “Pfft,” Faye snorted after another gulp of beer. “Take all the fun out of life, why don’t you?”

  “Faye.”

  “Oh, don’t give me that look. It’s not like I hate the guy. He’s a pain in the ass, but he’s good people. Besides, in the last few days, my Jack Tolerance Levels have gone up exponentially. Plus, if I’m being completely honest, I think he’d be good for you. I genuinely hated the last couple of guys you dated. Jack and I are oil and water, but at least we’re both liquids. That’s more than I can say about your other suitors.”

  Kamala scowled. “We’ll file that last part away for a future conversation.” She wrapped her arms around the taller girl’s shoulders. “Thanks for listening.”

  “No problem, babe. Get some sleep.”

  “I’ll try.” Kamala shuffled into her room and kicked the door shut. She took a deep breath of the leftover scent of incense and let the memories of comfort and familiarity roll over her before she disrobed and climbed into bed with her iPad. After she read a few articles from various scientific journals, she queued up the first season of Cheers.

  She dreamt of blood.

  Gallons of it.

  She was waist-deep in the stuff and every second, the crimson tide rolled higher up her body and saturated her skin even through her clothes. She couldn’t feel the ground underneath her, so she tried to swim, but the blood wouldn’t let go. It started sucking her under. She reached bloody fingers up at the ceiling, but it was beyond her reach. The last thing she saw was the tips of her fingers as the darkness swallowed her whole. It oozed down her nose, her throat, in her ears, in her eyes, the sickening metallic flavor coating her tongue and squishing between her clenched teeth.

  Kamala sat up in bed with a gasp. The iPad slid down her belly into her lap, still playing canned 1980’s laughter. She pressed a trembling hand to her damp forehead and tried to shake the horrific image out of her head, but the cold sweat gliding down her spine felt an awful lot like blood.

  She threw off the covers and took a boiling hot shower, even washing her hair just to be completely thorough. The shaking stopped by the time she dried off, but undoing the soggy bandage from her bruised hand made it start all over again. Images of the dead yakuza she’d accidentally killed flashed against the back of her eyes. Kamala shuddered and curled up on the bed with the towel around her neck. She didn’t want to know what time it was, but she forced herself to check her phone anyway. After two am. Not good. She had an early morning.

  A moment later, she poked her head out into the den. Faye had already gone to bed. She didn’t want to bother her. The poor girl had been through enough already.

  Kamala gnawed her bottom lip as she stared at the surface of her phone. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. She texted Jack.

  Still up?

  Five minutes passed. She paced the whole while, then sighed and slouched back towards the mattress. Her phone chimed.

  Sadly, yes. Can’t sleep?

  A relieved sigh escaped her this time. Not in the least.

  Me neither. Did you try drinking chamomile tea?

  Not yet. Does that actually work?

  Well, I’ve had three cups already, so I’m gonna say no.

  She chuckled. Poor baby. What about taking a hot bath? Or warm milk?

  Bathtub’s too small for my big ass. Haven’t grocery shopped in a week. What else ya got?

  ZzzQuil?

  Ah, point taken. There’s a 24-hour CVS right around the corner. What about you? What have you tried?

  It’s not insomnia. Had a bad dream. Kind of too spooked to go back to bed ye
t.

  Sorry to hear that. Anything I can do?

  She drummed her fingers on the phone case before answering. Don’t suppose you want to tell me a bedtime story?

  A couple minutes later, the phone rang. Kamala shook her head and answered it.

  “You do realize I was kidding, right?”