by Heidi Hormel
“All right,” Payson said, eying the pan of goodies but not cutting another piece. “Before you tell me what you need to tell me, I wanted to let you know that you’ve done an amazing job here. Raising the money, getting everything settled with the bank. Good for you.”
He actually did sound proud. “Thanks, it’s been tough, but I just kept thinking about the kids.”
“I know what you mean. Every time I get called in the middle of the night or feel too exhausted to talk to one more family, that’s what I think about.”
She nodded. Her throat clogged with emotion. Of course he understood. Even if he had bigger plans for his career, he’d always been devoted to the children under his care. That was one of the reasons it had been so devastating when they’d lost their baby. That was yesterday, she told herself. Sad as it was, they both had lives and new children to nurture. She looked at him and her heart filled with a warmth that made her want to grin like an idiot.
“Speaking of children,” he said, his face firming into the “doctor” look that she knew so well. He pulled out his phone and glanced at the screen. “I’ve got to go. Call me later.”
She watched him hurry across the yard in his very uncowboy loafers and thought he looked more powerful and competent than any other man she knew, even her daddy. She looked away, noticing he hadn’t taken any more brownies with him. Darn it. She’d wrap up the goodies and take them to the hospital. She didn’t want the treats here or she’d eat the whole pan. Plus, she hadn’t gotten to ask him about the rumors. Payson might have done a ton of things during their marriage that made her crazy, but he never lied. If she asked him about the hospital, he’d tell her the truth.
Chapter Fifteen
Of course, no one was ready to leave the fun at Hope’s Ride, which meant that by the time Jessie could get away, Payson had left. She debated going to his house. She’d promised him brownies, plus she had to get her questions answered.
She pulled into his driveway and sat for a moment, calming the flutter in her stomach. Too much cake at the party. She walked to the front door and caught the bright gleam of light through the shutters. He was definitely home. Good. She pushed the doorbell. What if he was on the patio? Would he hear the bell? She shifted and felt the twinge in her knee. The aspirin had dulled the sharpness, but maybe Payson was right and—
“Jessie?” Payson asked, opening the door in only well-worn jeans.
Dang it. The familiar tight flutter low in her abdomen started up and made her catch her breath as she took in every inch of him. “I...you forgot your brownies,” she said lamely, thrusting the plastic container at him, hitting his bare stomach.
His hands automatically closed around the container and her hand. “Thanks,” he said in a gruff voice.
Her gaze locked onto his, and she saw the once-familiar flash of heat. She savored the graceful power of his fingers on hers and the clean, just-out-of-the-shower scent of him. She wanted him. Reluctantly, she pulled her hand from his. They stood inches apart. Step away. She had to stop her libido right now. She licked her lips. Her mouth dried as she heard Payson cut off a groan.
“Do you want to come in?” he asked, his knuckles whitening as his hand clenched around the plastic container. His expression didn’t show any emotion, happy or mad.
The polite distance of his invitation broke the spell. She nodded and stepped past him. In the narrowness of the doorway, she imagined he leaned toward her and thought for sure he’d kiss her, but he didn’t.
“I called the hospital,” she said in a matching cool, impersonal tone. “They said you’d left.” She walked into his living room, unsure of her next step. Why had she agreed to stay? The rumors. She had to ask about the rumors.
“Sit down. I can get you a drink, and we’ll share the brownies.”
“No,” she said, more sharply than she’d meant to. She didn’t want to sit on the couch. She glanced up at him and saw the memory of that morning reflected in his eyes. “I can’t stay long,” she added more calmly. “I just needed to ask you something, then I’ll go.”
He nodded and shifted the plastic container to his other hand.
Distracted by his lack of shirt and the well-defined muscles of his lightly haired chest, she glanced away. “I heard a rumor from a parent, who heard it from one of the therapists at the hospital, who’d apparently heard from an administrative assistant—”
“I know how the rumor mill works.”
“I just wanted you to know that I understand it’s just a rumor, but I have to ask...is the hospital going to end the arrangement with Hope’s Ride, even though I took care of the foreclosure?” He didn’t need to say anything. She saw the answer in his eyes. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because we were ordered to keep it confidential. Leaked information wouldn’t have just affected me. Other people’s jobs were on the line.”
“Confidential from me? I’m the one they’re going to screw.”
“You’re set financially now.”
“But the hospital’s endorsement is important, essential for the program to keep operating long term.”
“I still shouldn’t be confirming anything. I told you how the hospital is about employees. Plus, not knowing let you celebrate your achievement. Raising enough to keep Hope’s Ride running isn’t a small thing.”
Her jaw ached from clenching her teeth. Payson didn’t get it. She had a right to know. He had said other jobs were on the line, though. Could she fault him for protecting his coworkers? “Okay.” She laughed when she saw the surprise in his eyes. “I’m totally freaked out, but you’re right. I did get through the foreclosure. With help, I saved Hope’s Ride. So I think I can get through anything the hospital throws at me.”
“I need to sit down.”
“Ha-ha.” They stood for a moment more, taking in the shifting dynamic and the blessed relaxation of the tension. “I want to hear what you can tell me. What you think might happen. Forewarned is forearmed.”
“Go ahead and take a seat. I need an iced tea. You sure you don’t want one?”
“That would be nice.”
“What about dinner?” he asked as he walked toward the kitchen. “I haven’t eaten. I know you had food at the party, but you probably only ate the cake. You need real food.”
“I’m good.” She’d never admit that he was right about the cake. If she did that, who knew what Payson would do? The shock of her saying he was right twice in one night might put him into cardiac arrest.
She heard him down the hall, and she kept her gaze glued to his bookshelves. She noted the photos of Payson with his patients, as well as the two formal portraits of his family in their living room. The MacCormack house screamed designer Old West.
“Here,” Payson said, handing her a glass and motioning for her to take a seat.
She turned and saw that he’d been busy in the kitchen. Paper plates of nachos, chicarrones—his favorite wheel-shaped, fried pork rinds—and cheese, along with containers of guacamole, salsa and jars of olives and pickles covered the coffee table. She noted that he hadn’t included the brownies and, more importantly, he’d put on a shirt.
“I hope you’re hungry,” she said to cover her increasing nervousness.
“A little bit,” he said and pulled a pile of nachos onto a paper towel that served as his napkin and dinner plate. He added a big spoonful of guacamole and shoved the mess into his mouth.
She couldn’t tear her eyes away from Payson. What could be sexy about eating nachos? Nothing. Her brother and men all over Phoenix ate the same snack. Move along. Nothing sexy here. Hoping to get her mind back on the important stuff—the only stuff that should matter—she asked, “Why does the hospital want to break off its work with me? I did what you asked in the interview.”
“Time, tide and Desert Valley waits for no man...woman. The
delay because of the foreclosure threat took too long to resolve. They moved on to other projects, but they will say that Hope’s Ride is an alternative that patients are welcome to seek out.”
“So it’s not the program?”
He shook his head and created another pile of nachos.
“That’s nice to know, but unless the doctors and the parents and the insurance companies know that we’re legitimate, I could be back to the same place in another year. I still need the endorsement from the hospital.”
He stopped eating. “There are other hospitals in Phoenix.”
“That’ll take too long,” she barked. “There are also a number of donors lending their support because we’re an ‘approved’ program.”
“What does that even mean?”
“Lavonda suggested it. We had the hospital employees at the ranch. You were there. It certainly looked like the Desert Valley had given us the thumbs-up.”
Jessie could see the thoughts flitting across Payson’s familiar face. He shook his head and said, “The decision has been made. They’re just determining the best way to announce it. You probably have a little bit of time.”
Jessie leaned back on the couch, suddenly tired at the idea of going to another hospital and convincing more doctors and therapists of the value of Hope’s Ride. She’d been so sure her big troubles were behind her, but, of course, nothing could be that simple. The task felt too big to think about tonight.
“Don’t fall asleep,” Payson said anxiously.
Her eyes popped open. “I wasn’t sleeping. I was thinking.”
“Have something to eat. You’ll feel better.” He pushed a plate of cheese toward her.
Her stomach gurgled. Cake might not have been the best choice for her main meal. She popped a piece of cheese into her mouth and chased it with a couple of chile-stuffed olives. They ate companionably, and she was thankful that he didn’t want to talk. When she drank the last of her iced tea, she actually felt energized. “Thanks,” she said as she stood to throw away her paper-towel plate.
“Don’t worry about cleaning up.”
She laughed. “It’s the least I can do since you fed me.”
She walked the ten steps to the kitchen and felt Payson right behind her. She should be worried about Hope’s Ride, the hospital and her future. All of those worries were there somewhere at the back of her mind, but as they’d eaten, the memory of Payson’s touch filled her mind. His competent and clever surgeon hands on her waist, her stomach, her breasts—right there on that couch.
She found the garbage can under the sink, just as it had been in every place they’d lived. When she turned, he was close, reaching around her to throw something into the can. They were face-to-face, her back against the counter. She couldn’t move...didn’t want to move.
This is what you want, that traitorous part of her whispered. She couldn’t hide from the truth. She wanted Payson. Her program could be going to crap and she still wanted him. Just like always, when Payson was around, she saw nothing but him.
She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him against her so they fit together as they always had. His hips nestled into hers, heating her and at the same time feeling like home. This was exactly where she should be.
“Jessie,” he whispered into her hair. His hand moved from her waist up her body to cup her breast. “So lovely.”
Her laugh turned into a gasp as his hand squeezed her sensitized breast. The nipple rubbed almost painfully against the fabric of her bra. Her leg moved behind him, and she barely felt the twinge in her knee as she pulled him closer with her strong thigh. She held him against her, even as he shifted. She didn’t want him to move away. She didn’t want to have a chance to change her mind.
She found his mouth with hers, exploring every inch. The touch and the taste of him arrowed down, making her lift her hips against him. His hands moved lower, cupping her butt. She yanked his shirt up, desperate to get her hands on his skin, his sleekly moving muscles. She shivered with delight when the air brushed against her own skin. Magically, her bra was gone; his shirt was gone. She brushed her nipples against the hair that furred his chest, quivering with delight.
“Can’t wait,” he hissed as his clever fingers opened the snap of her jeans, slipped inside and brushed over her.
“Payson. No teasing,” she said with feeling, pushing against his fingers.
He chuckled, deep and sexy. “You love my teasing.” He nipped at her neck and cheek as his fingers went deeper. She couldn’t stop the moan. Her hips pushed against him, and he rubbed his thumb against her aching nub. The heat built and she wanted more. Her fingers now frantically worked at his pants, joined by his as he grabbed at his back pocket. “A man can hope—” he said, holding out the condom.
She didn’t hesitate in stepping out of her own jeans as Payson pushed them down, knelt and kissed her right where her ache was centered. Then he stood, lifting her easily onto the counter, as he put on protection. He plunged in. She wrapped her legs around him, making sure that he stayed tight against her even as he rocked and bucked them to completion. She arched her back and cried out as he shuddered.
Payson’s breathing slowed. Jessie felt the cold hardness of the countertop. She wiggled. Payson kissed her tenderly. “That was an appetizer,” he said, pulling away reluctantly from the kiss. When he finally lifted her from the counter, she tightened her legs around him again so she didn’t fall as he carried her down the hall.
“I have to have you again, but I want to take my time,” Payson said as he laid her down on his bed and turned on the bedside light. Jessie opened her mouth to tell him to turn it off, then the light fell across Payson, highlighting the strength of his body and the excitement he felt. She wanted to see every inch of him. She wanted to remember this night.
“You’re in charge,” she whispered, arching her back to offer herself to him.
“Really?” he said, kneeling on the bed, stroking her breast. “You’re giving yourself to me? You’re admitting that you need me?”
“I need you...now,” she said pulling him to her.
“Good.”
She gasped in delight as his breath puffed over her skin. Her brain scrambled to come up with words. Instead she used her hands and her mouth to tell him what she needed. But Payson anticipated her every move until the two of them were joined again. They rocked together, the heat building and building until Jessie shattered, only coming to herself when she heard Payson whisper, “Jessie, my love, my cowgirl.” Then his weight held her to the mattress. Her arms went tight around him, and she nuzzled his neck, her lips brushing along his roughened jaw as she drifted into sleep, contented and happy.
* * *
PAYSON SLID FROM the bed as light filtered through the plantation-style shutters. He didn’t want to get up. He wanted to snuggle against Jessie and take her again. He kept moving, for once not pushing away the memories of their marriage—how he’d refused to let anything come between him and his patients, including his wife. Jessie’d said she understood that passion because she had the same commitment to the rodeo. But how could he think that leaving before she crawled out of bed and coming home long after she was asleep was a good way to keep a marriage alive? On top of that, he’d missed three of her birthdays in a row and nearly every one of their anniversaries.
He stepped into the shower, wondering what he would do differently if he and Jessie were married now. First, he would wake her with kisses instead of stealing out of bed. Second, he would make time for the two of them and he wouldn’t spend that precious time arguing about the amount of money she spent on horse feed.
So, hotshot doc, what are you going to do about today?
Had he and Jessie started something? Or was this just the two of them reliving their past...again? He let the water pound on him, hoping it would help him come up with an answer. The
connection with Jessie hadn’t changed. In fact, it had gotten stronger. So what the heck was he going to do about that?
Get out of the shower and talk with her.
He could live with that as a plan. He hurried out of the shower, toweled off and went to the bedroom. Jessie wasn’t there. He pulled on clothing and rushed into the living room. He relaxed as soon as he saw her standing in front of the coffeemaker, watching it intently. He smiled. Jessie never spoke or moved faster than a cud-chewing cow until she’d downed her first cup of coffee.
“Hey,” he said softly. “You know a watched coffee pot never drips.”
She grunted an answer. He slipped in behind her, wrapping his arms around her. She didn’t pull away but leaned into him. His groin tightened as her butt pushed against him. He looked at the clock on the stove. They might have enough time. He nibbled at her neck and cupped her breast through his T-shirt. God. She looked sexy in the thin shirt emblazoned with the Desert Valley Hospital logo. She hummed and he pulled her tighter. Suddenly, she turned in his arms and her mouth latched on to his, tasting him, her body molding to him so that he forgot everything but her.
“Almost as good as coffee,” she said with a saucy grin as she pulled away.
“Wow. I feel honored. I’m on the same level with coffee.”
“Almost.” She poured herself a cup and one for him, too, then sidled past. His gaze was glued to the hem of the shirt, hoping to see just a glimpse of her lovely nakedness. She sat at the bar, took two long swallows of coffee and stared at him. “So...”
He sipped his coffee, letting her start this conversation. He knew she complained that he always wanted to be in control. Not today. He would let her take the lead.