Once Upon a Heartbreak

by Cassie Rocca

  Clover and Liberty would definitely be waiting for her: it was less than an hour before the ceremony. Outside, the Rockefeller Centre was packed with people awaiting the annual Christmas tree lighting ceremony, and the concert was in full swing. The cheerful voices of the singers rose to the Loft & Garden and to the rooms that Cade had booked for the closest friends of the bride. Friends whose number seemed to have increased rapidly over the last few hours: everyone was eager to get a sneak preview of Clover and wish her every happiness in private, with the sole result of crowding the corridors… and depriving Zoe of intimacy.

  Chaos reigned: her friend was getting married and all she could think about was having sex with her boyfriend in a closet full of bedlinen!

  God, you never change… she thought with a sudden feeling of sadness. Two years of being in a serious relationship haven’t improved you much.

  She removed her lips from Eric’s and closed her eyes. “Ok, stop,” she said, trying to push him away. Not that he could get very far away in that tiny little room.

  Eric took no notice and moved closer again, his hands wandering over the slender thighs beneath the bridesmaid’s dress. “Too late, you should have thought about that before.”

  “No, really, wait a minute.” Zoe took his face in her hands, trying to make out his features in the faint light that filtered in under the door. “Eric, do you think I’m shallow?”

  “Of course not.”

  “So why do I always end up dragging you into situations like this? What would it have cost me to wait until the end of the evening? I’m sure that Clover and Cade can’t wait to be alone together too, since they haven’t seen each other for days, not to mention Lib and Zack, who’ve been so busy with the preparations. Couldn’t I have waited until we got home to jump on you, rather than risk getting caught in here, like a couple of horny teenagers who can’t control themselves? I’m a grown up, and it’s about time I started acting like one!”

  She sensed rather than saw Eric’s perplexed expression.

  “Babe, I didn’t hear myself complaining much when you dragged me in here.”

  “Of course you didn’t complain! That’s because you’re amazing and you always try and make me happy every way you can,” Zoe sighed in a quiet voice, hugging him. Then she stiffened. “But you should also be able to say no to me sometimes.”

  “Say no to you the next time you tell me that you want me?” snorted Eric. “Who do you think I am? I might be a bit slow off the mark but I’m not totally dumb.”

  “And is that why you always say yes – just for the sex?” Zoe pushed him away from her again. “So what if we didn’t do it any more? What if I wasn’t up for this kind of stuff… at least for a while? Would you still love me? Would you still enjoy being in my company?”

  “Zoe, come on – I enjoyed being in your company for ten years without ever giving you more than a kiss on the cheek, so I’m certainly I’m not with you just for the sex! I managed to get that even before you and I became an item.”

  “Don’t talk to me about your exes, I can’t stand it,” snapped Zoe. She slipped out of his embrace, opened the door of the closet and walked out into the corridor.

  The colored lights that came through the windows from the concert below flickered over them. Zoe stopped in front of one of the windows, followed by an increasingly bewildered Eric.

  “What’s the matter?” he said, taking her by the hand.

  Zoe continued to stare at St Patrick’s Cathedral, which, majestically illuminated, stood right in front of them. “I have to tell you something.”

  “Do I need to worry?”

  “I don’t know…”

  Suddenly tense, Eric let go of her hand. “Just say it.”

  Zoe turned to look at him. “Your tone isn’t exactly encouraging…”

  “Sorry, but how the hell is it supposed to sound? You’ve been acting weird for the last few days, one minute you’re laughing and the next you’re crying your eyes out, one minute you act like you can’t do without me and the next you push me away, and now you tell me that you need to tell me something that might worry me! I’m a little bit confused!” he snapped. He studied her carefully, his heart in his throat. “Are you breaking up with me?”

  “What? No!” she stood transfixed.

  Eric nodded. “Okay, well that’s something, then. So what’s the matter? What did you do?”

  “What have I done?!” Zoe planted her hands on her hips. “I’m sorry to disappoint you, sweetheart, but I haven’t done anything at all – it’s all your fault!”

  “My fault?! What have I done?” said Eric, shaking his head and running a hand over his face. “Look, if it’s still about Stephanie, I don’t know how else to make you understand: I really did bump into her by chance, and we just chatted, that’s all! She’s happily engaged nowadays, so you don’t have anything to worry about – it was just a perfectly civil ‘hello’ between two people who know each other and who…”

  “I’m pregnant!”

  Her words echoed along the deserted corridor, making Eric fall silent.

  Zoe looked at him, regretting not having waited to tell him in a quieter moment, in their apartment – and in a better light! Here, in the dim light of evening, with only the twirling colored lights from the square below to see by, she couldn’t quite make out the expression in Eric’s eyes, and that made her anxious.

  Was he frightened? Angry? Happy? Why didn’t he say something?

  “What… what are you thinking?” she stammered, staring at him. Eric was as immobile as a statue – he kept looking at her but without actually seeing her, as though lost in who knows what thoughts. “Eric?”

  “Yeah, sorry… I’m just thinking that, for the umpteenth time, you’ve messed up all my plans,” he sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

  Zoe felt a sudden urge to cry. “I’m sorry, it happened by mistake… I didn’t do it on purpose to trap you or to make your life difficult.”

  Eric took her in his arms, holding her tight. “No, sweetheart, that’s not what I meant. I’m happy, believe me! Absolutely terrified, but happy. And for the record: technically, it wasn’t all my fault.”

  She snorted against his chest. Then she raised her face, his eyes glistening. “And now?”

  “Now I have to mess up the surprise I’d planned with Clover and Cade.” A smirk on his face, Eric shrugged his shoulders. “Too bad – you would have liked it.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “In two months it’s our second anniversary, and I thought that… Well, you know, all the others are getting married and I wanted…” Eric cleared his throat uneasily while Zoe’s heart did somersaults.

  “You wanted…?”

  “Okay, wait – you forbade me to ask you in an unromantic way, remember, and since you just threw the idea of a marriage proposal live on the screens in Times Square out of the window, I’ll just have to do it the old-fashioned way.” Eric went down on one knee, took her hand and squeezed it. “Zoe Mathison, will you marry me?”

  A sob came out of Zoe’s throat, and she fell to her knees in front of him, nodding emphatically. “Yes! Yes! Of course I will!” She took his face in her hands and kissed him frantically while her tears made both their faces wet.

  Eric let her go and started to rummage through the pockets of his jacket. “Damn, I was sure the surprise was going to come off this time, and instead… I didn’t think I’d need to have the ring with me all the time.”

  “Babe,” said Zoe with a smile, “It doesn’t matter.”

  But Eric didn’t give up, and from the inside pocket of his jacket, he pulled out a red ribbon.

  “This will have to do.”

  “What is that?”

  “Candice had it in her hair and she lost it. I was meaning to give it back to her, but I think she’ll be happy to give it to us.” Eric started to wrap the ribbon around Zoe’s ring finger.” Any self-respecting wedding proposal needs a ring,” he murmured a
s he finished tying the ribbon into a small bow. “I’ll give you the real one tomorrow.”

  Laughing and crying at the same time, Zoe looked at the red silk wrapped around her finger and then hugged her boyfriend, squeezing him with all the strength she possessed.

  “When are we going to have the wedding?”

  “Soon – I want our kid to have parents who are married… and anyway, I’m sure you won’t be wanting to appear on the wedding photos with a pregnant belly and swollen ankles,” Eric joked.

  “I love you so much, you know that?” whispered Zoe, rubbing her nose against his.

  “Me too, but… we’re going to have to stay alive and kicking for a while to come, because in a few months we’ll have a little person to take care of,” Eric muttered. “God, I have absolutely no idea how to be a dad…”

  “We’ll help each other – and anyway, you’ll be a fantastic dad, I’m sure of it.”

  Eric kissed her on the nose. “And you’ll be an amazing mom.”

  “But first I’ll have to get through the next nine months… Well, one has already passed, fortunately, but the worst is yet to come. I can already feel my hormones going nuts all the time, so my already pretty unstable character is going to become impossible!” moaned Zoe with a small pout.

  Eric rolled his eyes. “God help me,” he joked. But nothing could hide the emotion and the happiness he felt and which was visible in his face.

  *

  “I must say that you do look very good. Even though a Vera Wang would perhaps have shown off your figure a bit more. Can you imagine the articles in the newspaper tomorrow? I would never have thought that one day I would be able to say that my daughter had a cover-girl wedding! The Vera Wang would have been the icing on the cake, but at the end of the day, you look fine anyway… What did you say that this designer is called? Maybe she’ll become famous for having designed your wedding dress… your husband-to-be’s name will certainly give her some good publicity!”

  Her mother’s uninterrupted chattering had no effect – or nearly no effect – upon Clover, who had been sitting in front of the mirror for what seemed like an eternity, entrusting herself first to the skilled fingers of a make up artist and then to the hairdresser’s confident hands. At that particular moment, she was finishing having her red curls arranged so that they formed a natural waterfall down her shoulders and back, held to her head by the delicate luminous tiara she had chosen instead of a veil.

  She felt as though she was watching it all from an unspecified point outside her body – as though every event of that day was happening to a stranger.

  It was the day of her marriage. A ceremony that in all probability would end up on the morning news and the covers of all the magazines and which would bind her forever to Cade Harrison, the Hollywood star.

  “Clover! Are you even listening to me?” snapped Nadia O’Brian, making her jump with surprise.

  Clover gave her a blank look in the illuminated mirror. “Sorry, Mom – her name is Adams, Jane Adams, and she’s a fashion designer I met in Los Angeles.”

  Nadia snorted and continued to move, smooth out and lift the train of her dress, as though keeping it tidy were of vital importance. “I asked you about the stylist ten minutes ago – I was talking about the honeymoon! Where was it you said you were going?”

  “Italy, France, Austria, Scotland… and then we’ll be coming back to America.”

  “I really don’t understand why you didn’t choose somewhere warm – some luxury island resort or something like that. If you’d wanted rain and snow, you might as well have stayed here.”

  “It’s almost Christmas,” said Clover, laconically. “I need the right atmosphere.”

  “But Christmas comes every year, unfortunately – you only get one chance at a honeymoon, or at least so one would hope. Some tropical island would have been a better idea. All wrapped up in heavy coats, scarves and hats, no one will recognise you…”

  “That’s what I’m hoping.”

  “I just do not understand you! You have had the good fortune to hook a guy like Cade and it seems as though you don’t want to show him off to the world but just want to keep him all for yourself!”

  “Mom, will you cut it out?!” snapped Clover in exasperation. To the annoyance of the hairdresser, she jumped to her feet and stared at her mother. “I know you don’t understand me! I know you wanted my wedding dress to be a Vera Wang, and I know you wanted me to go to a tropical island for my honeymoon so I could show off my famous husband’s muscles and face. You’ve told me about thousand times over this last week! But I’m the one who’s supposed to like the wedding dress and I’m the one who’s supposed to like the honeymoon! And Cade is already on show far too much because of his job – so, yes, I do want to keep him out of the spotlight and all for myself! What exactly is your problem with that?!”

  Nadia batted her eyelids – smoke grey, like the elegant dress she wore – and assumed a hurt expression. “You never change – you never want to listen to other people’s opinions!”

  “Yeah, well who knows who I inherited that talent from?” responded Clover sarcastically, ignoring her mother’s half-hearted answer, which seemed to be “I have no idea.”

  Okay, maybe she was finally coming back into herself. Though she wasn’t actually certain whether that was a good or a bad thing. To be honest, the trance state into which she had fallen since that morning had come in handy in giving her a false sense of indifference that left her immune to everything: to her mother’s criticisms and stupid small talk, to the sincere and insincere congratulations of the people who had been crowding into the room for the last four hours, to the torture of the make up artist and the hairdressers, to Scott’s anxious reminders.

  Returning to reality brought out all the fears, insecurities and tensions that probably overcame every bride on the most important day of her life… but which in her case were doubled.

  She was about to marry a movie star! Although it had been three years since she had met him, she still felt like she was living in a dream, especially when she found herself in the spotlight. When she was alone with Cade she forgot who the world thought he was and saw only the sweet and loving man she had fallen in love with, and, although she felt tremendously lucky, their relationship felt completely normal to her. But Cade’s fame seemed to have doubled since he had agreed to play an important role in a film with a line-up of star actors directed by James Cameron three weeks earlier. That meant more advertising, less privacy and long business trips…

  And gorgeous actresses who would be working side by side with him every day, reminding him of all the many opportunities he would be losing forever by deciding to marry her.

  Feeling a sudden surge of anxiety, Clover began to fan herself frantically with her hands and to walk back and forth, followed by her mother, who continued to make sure that the train of her dress didn’t get tangled anywhere.

  When the living room door opened to allow Liberty to come in, Clover finally breathed out and ran over to her. “You’re here, finally!” she cried, hugging her. “I think I’m having a panic attack.”

  Liberty smiled and hugged her back. “I get where you’re coming from, but you really don’t need to – everything will be just fine.”

  “How can it be? There are gonna be photographers… what if I trip while I’m walking down the aisle? Oh God, I’d never be able to show my face in public again!”

  Nadia opened her eyes so wide that they seemed in danger of falling from their sockets. “You’d better not, Clover O’Brian! If you fall, or trip, or do anything else ridiculous in front of the press, I’ll make you regret it!”

  Clover sat down on the sofa and covered her face with her hands. “Make her go away,” she muttered to Liberty, who, without thinking for a moment, pointed Clover’s mother to the door.

  “You go and join the rest of your family, I’ll take care of things here.”

  “What do you mean? I’m the mother of the bride, it’s m
y job to stay here!”

  “Not if you’re going to upset your daughter it’s not,” said Liberty, using her most imperious tone. “It’s nearly time, you go and sit down and relax – don’t worry, Clover will be ready for the ceremony.”

  Outraged, Nadia grabbed her purse and headed for the door. “I see that motherhood hasn’t softened you at all, Liberty.”

  “It never does to some mothers, apparently,” she replied sarcastically.

  As soon as the door was closed, Clover stood up and started pacing back and forth across the room again. “She was driving me crazy – nothing’s good enough for her! She didn’t like the honeymoon, the dress isn’t by a famous designer, and this damned train… she’s fiddled with the thing so many times that I think she’s probably worn it through in places!”

  Giggling, Liberty took her by the hands, stopping her in her tracks. Then she took a step back to look at her. “You look like a dream! Like a cross between a princess and a snow fairy!”

  Clover glanced quickly in the mirror and caught sight of her reflection. The dress had been designed especially for her by a fashion designer she’d met in Los Angeles, and whose work she had immediately fallen in love with. After having seen some of her wonderful sketches, the final choice had fallen to a chiffon and organza silk model with long flowing sleeves that left her shoulders uncovered, and with a tight corset with delicate silver embroidery which seemed to form very fine snowflakes. The skirt – full but not ridiculously so – fell to the floor in a series of soft folds over a tulle underskirt, and the long flounced train, embellished with small crystals that captured the light, was attached to a floral insert shaped like a Christmas star at the base of the back and fanned out over the ground for over a metre.

  To deal with the rather chilly temperature of the outdoor location that she and Cade had chosen, a short embroidered cape had been added, complete with hood, which replaced the veil, giving the dress a touch of originality, without hiding the bright tiara from which her curly red ringlets emerged.